Notes: Is a Spuffy story. Inspired by Going Under by Evanescence. From Spike's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS or any of the characters contained therein. They belong to the genius that is Joss Whedon.



Dear Diary,

I've done everything for you, I've cried for you (and I don't cry). I've done things you can't imagine, and things I preferred you didn't. None of it matters to you, you don't care. I don't want to be tormented daily by you, but I am. I guess I enjoy it. Its not your fault, mine if any. I can't stop.

It's like I'm trapped under ice covering a lake. Drowning and falling forever. Drowning in eyes bluer than the lake.

I can't trust myself, I want to give into my temptation. What's truth? What's reality? I don't know anymore, all there is, is you. I'm truly confused.

I'm already under, under your spell. The spell your eyes cast when you look at me.

Under the ice, can I break through. Break through the layers of ice.

I need to breathe, I can't be trapped forever. Maybe I do need you to save me after all.