Title: Matchmaking for Dumbo-Heads
Summary: One day, the Titans decide to visit the library, and surprisingly, Beast Boy finds a book called "Matchmaking for Dumbo-Heads". Using his amazing brain (please note the sarcasm) he decides to bring together Robin and Starfire, somehow dragging Cyborg and Raven into the mess.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, and I don't really want to anyways. Whoever owns them right now is doing a really good job at it! (applauds)
By the way, this chapter contains Raven/Beast Boy and slight Cyborg/Bumblebee pairing, so if you don't like it, then just skip this chapter…
Recap: "Robin!" Beast Boy finished, pointing at the Boy Wonder. "Truth or Dare?"
"Dare….Do your worst…" Robin narrowed his eyes.
Beast Boy and Cyborg shared an evil glance, then said… "I dare you to…"
Beast Boy and Cyborg shared an evil glanced, then said… "I dare you to pretend to propose to Starfire!"
Robin's jaw dropped open. Literally. In fact, it opened up so wide, that it broke off its hinges.
"Robin," Raven started, clearly annoyed. "You're jaw is biting me. Get it off."
He groped around, and then reassembled it. Finally, Robin found his voice.
"Y-Your… ki-kidding me, right?" he managed to stutter out.
"Nope!" Beast Boy grinned, obviously enjoying every second of this. "Now, you better do it or else we have to go to the consequences… you don't want THAT now, do you?"
Robin set his mouth into a straight line, and said, "Beast Boy, I don't think this is appropriate. As the leader of the Teen Tit----"
"Come ON, Robin!" Cyborg cut him off. "That leader junk doesn't apply to sleepovers… now, are ya gonna do it, or are you CHICKEN?"
Once again, Beast Boy morphed into a rooster for emphasis.
"I am not chicken!" Robin retorted.
Cyborg and Beast Boy grinned inwardly. They knew they had hit a nerve.
"Are you scared?" Cyborg pressed on. "Oh no! The big, bad Boy Wonder is scared of a little, itty-bitty dare! Whatever is he going to do?"
Beast Boy transformed himself back to his human form, and mocked Robin.
"Starfire, I love you sooooo much, but I just can't do this tiny little dare to prove my love to you!" he teased him.
"MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH!" Cyborg made little kissy noises.
"Alright, alright!" Robin waved his hands wildly in the air. "I get it, okay! I'll do the dare!"
Once again, Cyborg and Beast Boy shared triumphant grins.
Meanwhile, Starfire hadn't said anything about the situation. She was too busy thinking about whether she should say 'yes' or 'no' to Robin's fake proposal.
'Oh no, this is not going to be good!' Robin thought, as he slowly got down on one knee in front of Starfire.
"Um…. Starfire?…… Star? Starfire! Hello!" he yelled, waving his hands in front of her.
"Wha?… Oh, I'm sorry Robin! Forgive me if I was… 'zoning out'…." Starfire apologized, snapping out of her trance.
"Uh, it's okay…" Robin nervously wringed his hands. "I…uh… Starfire…. Uh… I-I… Would you… Gah… er…"
Everybody was staring at him. Even Raven had looked up from her book.
"Yes?" Starfire waited patiently for Robin's proposal.
'Ok,' he told himself. "It's nothing to worry about. I mean, come on. I've faced Cinderblock, Plasmus, Overload, and even Slade… Besides, this isn't even real… it's just a dare, it's just a dare… Arg! Why can't I just say it? Just relax… relax…'
While the Boy Wonder was painfully trying to collect his courage, Cyborg had altered his arm into a video camera.
Robin groaned. 'Great. Blackmail.. Uhhhhh… You can do it… Just think of those 5 words and say----"
"Starfire, wouldyoumarryme?" he blurted out.
The tension was so thick, you would've needed a million knives to cut through it.
'Oh my!' Starfire thought. "Robin just asked me to marry him! It is such a shame that this is not real. I… what shall I say? Let us see… what do Earth women do when men propose?…'
It was Starfire's turn to pick a movie for "Movie Night".
"I shall chose…" she rummaged through her collection of movies. "… This one!"
Beast Boy stared at it in disbelief. " 'Mushy Gooshy Love'? That's what we're watching? Forget it! I'm not watching----"
"Beast Boy!" Robin cut in. "It's Starfire's turn to pick a movie, and she picked this one. We're all going to watch it, whether you like it or not."
He walked dejectedly away, muttering something that sounded a lot like "…Always sticking up for his girlfriend…".
When it got to the proposal part, Starfire watched in awe as the woman flung her arms around the man and whispered, "I would love to!"
So Starfire did just that.
"Oh Robin!" she cried joyously, and flinging her arms around him. "I would LOVE to marry you!"
All the Titans stared at their fellow teammates in shock.
Suddenly, Starfire remembered something else.
"Uh…" Robin stuttered, flushing a deep shade of crimson that any rose would be jealous of. "I----"
But he was cut off by Starfire's lips pressed firmly against his.
"MMMfphghhhphaaa…" Robin started, but then gave in.
-Five Seconds In Heaven-
"Wonderful…" she breathed, after ending the kiss.
"Yeah… just wonderful…" Robin repeated softly.
Both of them turned to their "audience". Their expressions were priceless.
Cyborg wasn't filming anymore. He had eyes as wide as dinner plates.
Beast Boy was continuously rubbing his eyes to see if that really happened. Both his and Cyborg's jaw were no longer located on their mouths, but instead, nipping at Raven.
Raven's expression was by far, the most craziest. Despite the jaws that were biting her, she was up side down, with her arms and legs in an awkward position. Her cloak was carelessly draped around her, and her belt had broken neatly in half.
As if she finally realized what sort of position she was in, Raven quickly cleared her throat and continued reading her book. It was obvious that she really wasn't paying attention to the novel.
Finally, someone had the courage to talk.
"Uh… dude," was all Beast Boy could manage, after relocating his and Cyborg's jaw back on.
"ALRIGHT!" Cyborg and Beast Boy yelled out in unison, giving each other a whopping high five.
"Man, that was awesome!" Cyborg exclaimed.
"Yeah, tell me about it! Wasn't it GREAT Raven?" Beast Boy asked.
"Uh huh, just peachy," Raven muttered, trying to keep her voice steady and eyes on the book.
"Sooo…. Boy Wonder… how was the kiss?" Cyborg teasingly asked.
"Wha kish?" Robin murmured, still dazed from the kiss.
"You know," Beast Boy said, leaning towards him. "The one that Starfire gave you!"
"Oho!" Robin exclaimed. "Tha kish!"
"Yes, that kish!" Cyborg snickered.
"OH YEAH, that kish wah totally wahshum!"
"What?" Beast Boy asked.
"I think he meant 'That kiss was totally awesome'… or something like that." Cyborg corrected.
"Friends!" Starfire happily trilled. "I believe I do like this game of 'Dare or Truth'! May we please continue?"
"Yes, we shall," Beast Boy responded maliciously. "Okay, Robin. It's your turn to pick!"
"Alwight!" Robin warbled. "I pwick…"
He suddenly stood up, and started spinning in circles, arm extended. It was quite a funny sight if you think about it. Then, his arm landed on….
"Raven!" Robin exclaimed
"Dare or Truth?"
"I'm not playing that stupid game, Boy Wonder," Raven sarcastically retorted.
"Yes, you will! DARE OR TRUTH?"
"I'll explain this in a simple way, so that your tiny brain can understand. I'm. Not. Playing."
"YES YOU WILL! YOU WILL, AND YOU WILL LIKE IT! IF YOU DON'T, YOU WILL GET KICKED OFF THE TEEN TITANS!" he yelled.
"I think he's serious," Beast Boy muttered quietly to her. "In that state, he'll probably do just about everything!"
"Yeah, Starfire's kiss packs a whollop!" Cyborg commented.
"My kiss?" Starfire questioned, involuntarily touching her lips.
"WELL?" Robin demanded. "ARE YA GOING TO PLAY OR NOT?"
"Good!" Robin said smugly, putting his hands on his hips. "Truth or Dare?"
"Dare." She responded, clearly not afraid.
"I… uh… Dware you to… uh… err…"
Just then, a 'brilliant' idea popped into Robin's mind.
"Ravwen, I dware you to kish Bweast Boy on tha lips!"
"No… Way…" Raven finally said, closing her book.
"Yes way!" Cyborg snickered.
"Yeah, Raven!" Beast Boy wiggled his eyebrow up and down. "Who knows? You might enjoy it! And remember the picture?" he added under his breath.
"Friend Raven, you must perform the kiss! It is most enjoyable!" Starfire put in.
"You don't want tha conquikenses now, do you Ravwen? Or are you chicken?"
"Raven's chicken!" The boys mocked. "Raven's chicken! Raven chicken! Raven's chicken! Rav----"
"ALRIGHT! ENOUGH!" Raven bellowed, causing the couch to rip in shreds. "I'll do it… Ugh…"
Everybody watched in fascination as Raven knelt beside Beast Boy.
"Sorry," Cyborg apologized.
Beast Boy waited impatiently for Raven to kiss him. He kept moving around awkwardly.
Closer and closer came Raven's pale lips. Anxiety filled the Titans Tower.
When her lips finally made contact with Beast Boy's, the Game Station blew up.
"MY GAMESTATION!" Cyborg yelled, rushing over to the remains of it.
But Beast Boy didn't even notice. He was too busy focusing on Raven's lips. During that time, random things were blowing up, and shaking uncontrollably.
Faint shouts of, "My T-car! My baby!" from Cyborg could be heard.
After around 20 seconds, the two finally broke apart.
"Uh…" Beast Boy stuttered. "Th-that was… err…"
"Shush," Raven cut in, putting her fingers on his lips to silence him.
Five long minutes passed before a weeping Cyborg came in, breaking the silence.
"Al-alright…" He blubbered. "Let's continue our g-game."
"Um, Cyborg?" Robin asked, finally coming out of his 'trance' that Starfire bestowed on him. "Are you going to be okay?"
"Yeah," Cyborg cleared up a bit. "My baby's going to be just fine."
"So, friend Raven!" Starfire's sweet voice cut through the awkward silence. "How was the kiss?"
"Um… I'll go back to my book now…" Raven murmured, pulling her hood over her head, obviously hiding her growing blush.
"Actually, Raven," Beast Boy said. "It's your turn to say 'Truth or Dare'!"
Hearing his voice after what they just did was pretty awkward for her.
"Just take my turn," she muttered.
"Alright!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "Who shall I pick? Hmmm…would the Boy Wonder please stand up?"
"Why me?" Robin mumbled, standing up.
"Truth or Dare?"
"Dare," he replied, not afraid of Beast Boy's crazy imagination anymore.
"I dare you to… wait, Robin, come here" Beast Boy motioned him to come towards him.
"I dare you to… -whisper whisper whisper-…"
"Whoa!" Robin yelled. "NO WAY! I AM SOOOO NOT DOING THAT! BEAST BOY, THAT'S A VIOLATION AGAINST NATURE! HUMAN NATURE!"
"Too bad, better get to it!" Beast Boy smirked. "Cyborg, you better get your video camera ready, 'cause this is going to be sweet!"
Starfire could barely contain her excitement.
"What is it, friend Beast Boy! I can scarcely wait to see what 'Dare' Robin has to perform!"
"You heard the lady!" Cyborg ordered Robin. "Now, go do whatever your gonna do, and get back here fast!"
Grumbling, Robin walked slowly towards Starfire's room.
A few moments later, Robin's head poked through the door, but the rest of his body was hidden from view.
"Come on, Robin!" Beast Boy called teasingly. "Cyborg's got his video camera ready! We haven't got all day!"
Slowly, but surely, Robin stepped into the living room. At that moment, the kitchen blew up, on account of Raven.
"Hey!" Starfire exclaimed. "I believe the garment that you are wearing is my uniform, Robin!"
Cyborg and Beast Boy erupted into bales of laughter. But, this was only the beginning.
"C-Cue the mu-music…" Beast Boy gasped out, between giggles.
Raven used her powers to flip on the radio, and a "supermodel" song came on.
Robin 'strutted' around the living room, occasionally pausing to strike a pose. Thanks to Raven, the TV cracked in half. He flipped his imaginary hair over his shoulder, and continued to prance around, while saying things like, "Work it, girl!". The lights extinguished immediately and went out.
"Al-Alright!" Cyborg wheezed, still rolling on the floor with laughter. Amazingly enough, he actually got Robin on tape. "I think that's en-enough!"
At that order, Robin dashed out of the living room without another word. No more than two minutes later, he appeared with his usual red pajamas only to find Cyborg hyperventilating. Raven was busy trying to calm him down with her powers.
"Um…" Starfire started. "That was most… interesting…"
"Sorry Starfire," Robin apologized, turning to his hyperventilating teammate. "What's gotten into him?"
"I believe he thought your act was so hilarious, friend Cyborg breathed a little too much air!" Starfire explained.
"Uh huh, it was just hilarious…" Robin mumbled mordantly.
When Cyborg finally calmed down, he asked, "So… what are we going to do with the lights?"
"Forget the lights!" Beast Boy interrupted. "Let's just keep playing 'Truth or Dare'! It just makes the atmosphere more… mysterious."
"I never knew an idiot like you knew such big words like 'atmosphere' and 'mysterious'." Raven sarcastically muttered.
"Oh yeah? Well, then I guess you just enjoyed a kiss from a certain idiot, huh?" Beast Boy retorted.
This shut Raven up.
"Okay…" Robin started, going back to the game. "I pick… Cyborg! Truth or Dare?"
"Man, why me?" Cyborg whined.
"Because you hyperventilated from laughing at me!" Robin smartly responded.
"What, are you too afraid to pick 'Dare'?" Robin mocked.
"No!" he lied.
"Oh really?" Robin gave Cyborg an 'I-don't-believe-you' look.
"Ugh, okay. I pick dare!" Cyborg gave in.
"Good!" Robin smirked. "I dare you to call Bumblebee, and say 'Bumblebee, I love you with all my human and robotic heart!' "
"You heard what I said!"
"Haha!" Beast Boy laughed. "Good one, Boy Wonder!"
"Thanks. Now, come on Cyborg! We haven't got all day!"
Red-faced, Cyborg fumbled around with the communicator on his left arm. Suddenly, Bumblebee's face popped up.
"Hey, Sparky! What's up?" she greeted him.
Cyborg took a deep breath, and desperately tried to block out Starfire and Beast Boy's giggles. Robin was just smirking at him.
"Uh…" he started. "Bumblebee, Iloveyouwithallmyhumanandrobiticheart!"
"Huh? Say wha-----" the communicator shut off.
"HAHAHHAHAHAA!" Beast Boy guffawed. "THAT WAS SOOOO RICH!"
Starfire giggled a little. "Yes, Cyborg! That was most enjoyable to witness!"
"So…" Robin said casually, still smirking. "That wasn't so hard was it?"
"So hard?" Cyborg fumed. "SO HARD? Arg! Now, she'll never speak to me aga----"
-The Tune On The Titans Communicator-
"I'll get it," Cyborg grumbled.
"Sparky? What was that all about?" came Bumblebee's voice.
"I'm not playin' around here, boy! Tell me now!" she demanded.
"UHHHHHHHHH…… HEY LOOK! A GIANT PANCAKE! AHHHH!"
"Where? –roar- Omgoodness! Cyborg you're right! Aqualad, Speedy, Mas and Menos, get ready to battle!"
With that, Bumblebee signed off.
"Are you serious?" Beast Boy said in disbelief. "Gee Cyborg, are you psychic or something?"
Cyborg laughed nervously. "Haha… Lucky guess?"
"Please, Cyborg! I believe it is your turn to say "Dare or Truth!'" Starfire cut in.
"Oh… right…" a very scary and malicious grin crept upon Cyborg's face. "I pick… Robin! Hahaa! Revenge time, Boy Wonder!"
"Hey!" Robin complained. "Isn't there some kinda rule that says you can't pick the same person over and over again?"
"Dude, we're superheroes." Beast Boy pointed out. "We can bend the rules if we wanna… now pick!"
"Pick what?" Robin asked stupidly.
"TRUTH OR DARE!"
"Oh, that. Err…. Dare."
"Alright!" Cyborg exclaimed. "I dare you to… say 'I love you' to Starfire! That'll pay back for what you did!"
Robin gulped. He… wasn't very good at expressing his emotions. Back on that hostile alien planet, he tried so hard to tell Starfire how he felt, but never got that chance. Curse Batman for training him to be an emotionless dummy head...
"Uh, okay." Robin responded, as he nervously sat next to Starfire.
"Starfire…" he began. "I… l-lo-l…"
He mentally cursed himself. He had never even tried to say the word 'love', even though he had heard many people say it out loud before. Now that it was his turn to say it… well, he just couldn't.
"Yes, Robin?" Starfire prodded on, giving him one of her 2000-watt smiles for reassurance.
"AAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!" Robin yelled, temporarily blinded from Starfire's bright smile. Seeing such intense light in the dark was quite a shock for the Boy Wonder.
The green changeling and the half-robot were laughing their heads off.
"OOOWWWW! MY EYES!" he shouted, covering his eyes with his hands.
Beast Boy and Cyborg were now rolling on the floor with bales of deadly laughter.
Robin blindly groped around for Starfire. He figured that among this chaos, it would be much less embarrassing than with everybody watching.
Finally, he felt a small hand and grabbed it, guessing it was Starfire.
Raven looked horror-struck as her leader roughly grabbed her hand.
"Uh…" she started.
"I LOVE YOU!" he proclaimed to the wrong girl.
The room was dead silent.
"Ro-Robin?" Starfire's timid voice cut through the air. "You… love Raven?"
"What?" Robin then realized he was holding Raven's hand, and quickly dropped it.
"Omgoodness…" he breathed. "Starfire, look I---- it was a mistake! Honest! I just----"
He just cut off by Starfire' sobs, and looked up. He gasped. She looked so… dejected, like a small, poor ,kitten nobody wanted anymore. It was as if her usual cheerful aura just disappeared. It seemed as if her hair was less shiny, and skin no longer vibrant. Her sobs were the worst. They weren't huge and loud. Just soft, and heartbroken. Robin quickly rushed over and tried to hug her, but Starfire simply pushed him away.
"I-I… n-nneed to g-go…" she choked out, while running to her room.
The oven cracked in half.
"Go… to… her…" Raven said, deadly quiet and not looking Robin in the face.
"She hates me now." He replied, as he sat down, miserable.
"I would too," Raven said.
"But she'll just get even more depressed if you don't go and fix it." Beast Boy cut in.
Everybody stared at him. They could hardly believe that these words were coming from him.
"What? I can be… err… good if I want to!" he defended himself.
"I can't do it," Robin repeated.
"Just take it one step at a time!" Cyborg convinced their crestfallen leader. "Remember, 'Inch by inch, it's a cinch. Yard by yard, it's hard.'"
Now everybody was staring at Cyborg.
"What? I can be… sendemental if I wanna!"
"That's sentimental, bolts for brains," Raven corrected sarcastically.
"I'll… just be in my room…" Robin sighed, and exited the Main Room.
"Well…" Beast Boy started. "That idea was a dud!"
"Yeah," Cyborg agreed, yawning. "Let's do our matchmaking tomorrow. I'm tired. G'night BB, 'night Raven…"
As the two trudged towards their room, Raven sat there and summoned her Emotions.
"Hey," Common Sense said. "You called?"
"Yeah," Raven replied, monotone.
"Whatcha need us for?" Revenge grunted. "I was sleeping! Just because you don't want to sleep, doesn't mean I can't!"
"I was just…" Raven started, still keeping her voice in monotone. "… wondering if we could call the deal off…"
"WHAT?" the two Emotions exclaimed at once.
"I just realized that Robin and Starfire actually love each other----"
"Well, duh," Revenge interrupted rudely.
Raven glared at Revenge inside her mind and continued.
"It's just too much pressure," she ended dully.
"Explain yourself," Common Sense said, after a while.
"Did you SEE the Main Room?" Raven pointed out. "That was only because I couldn't decided whether… they should be together or not… it's sorta hard to explain…" she finished lamely.
"Whatever," Revenge brushed the idea off. "We already informed the rest of your Emotions so it's too late anyways."
"Lemme put this in an easy way so that your tiny brain can understand," Revenge copied Raven. "All the happy-wappy-sappy Emotions like Happy, Joyful, and Knowledge are on Common Sense's side. All the reasonable Emotions such as Hate, Anger, and of course, me, are on… well, my side. Got that?"
"This is not working…" Raven rubbed her temples. "I'll… um, think about this okay? Good night," she said, shoving them in to the back of her mind again.
"Robin…" Starfire whispered, clutching a picture of her and Robin together in a heart-shaped picture frame…
A/N: Hey you guys! I'm really sorry I haven't been updating! Wahhh! I feel really bad now! (-sniff-)
Anyways, there's a rumor that says you can't reply to your reviewers anymore! There's a petition going around (by e-mail, of course) and once it reaches 200, you have to send it to the fanfiction people… I think they delete your story or something if you really do reply to your reviewers! Augh!
Well… I'm really sorry… about… well, EVERYTHING! POOPEY RULE! Augh!
Cyborg: Geez, chill.
StarryTian: How can I! This after-chapter format isn't allowed either!
Robin: I know.
StarryTian: No you don't.
Beast Boy: I'M GOING TO THE VETS TODAY! AUUUUHHH!
Raven (bored): Don't ask.
Beast Boy (running around in circles): THIS IS SOOOOO NOT COOL!
Starfire (confused): What is not cold?
Robin (putting his hand on her shoulder): Nothing, don't worry about it, Star.
Cyborg (to Robin): I bet you liked this chapter a lot, huh?
Robin (eyes narrowing): Why?
Cyborg (in a sing-songy voice): BECAUSE YOU GET TO KISS STARFIRE!
Robin (blushing): So? You had to say 'I love you Bumblebee'!
Bumblebee (appearing out of nowhere): Yeah! What was that all about, Sparky?
Cyborg (lying quickly): Um… I have to go to the bathroom! See ya!
Starfire (following Cyborg): As do I!
Robin (chasing Starfire): Same here.
Beast Boy (running after his friends): THE VETSSS!
Bumblebee (out loud): Geez, do they have synchronized bladders or something?
A/N: I'm not going to ask you for a review… but it would be appreciated. I just feel REALLY bad about the whole 'you-cant-respond-to-your-reviewers' thing. That, and that I haven't updated in a long time!
Well, see ya!
Over and out,