Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
Author's note: I just want to thank everyone who has reviewed my stories up until now! It really means a lot to me! Thanks so much! I love you guys (and girls)!
It was a quiet, peaceful night, much to the group's relief. They had had a rough day battling demons that day and were tuckered out. All of them were sleeping peacefully, all of them except Inuyasha. He sat in his tree, anxious to make sure his friends were really asleep. He usually would have just rested his eyes, but he was excited right now. In the distance he could have sworn he saw the faint glimmer of a Shinidamachuu. That meant Kikyou had to be nearby.
When he was sure that he wouldn't awaken anyone, he moved quietly and carefully away from the campfire, making sure he made no movements that would alert his friend's keen senses. He had left his sword behind in the tree, not thinking he would need it. When he was a certain distance away from the group, he took off, straining to pick up Kikyou's scent. When he finally caught, his heart leapt in joy. He would finally be able to see if she was really ok!
He trusted that Kagome had purified her wounds and had done a good job, but still, he had to make sure the older miko was ok. He wouldn't be able to progress very well on the journey otherwise if he didn't find out. Hearing her condition from Kagome and actually being able to see it with his own eyes were two different matters entirely. When he saw the shine and glimmer of the Shinidamachuu, he knew he had reached her resting spot.
He walked casually up the hill, not rushing, for he did not want to disturb her if she was resting. When he peeked his head through the bushes, he saw her sitting against a tree trunk, one of her legs curled into her chest, her ebony hair about her, not in its usual hairstyle. He also noticed that her eyes were closed. He didn't move from his spot in the bushes, for he didn't want to spoil the moment. She seemed so calm right now, so peaceful and relaxed.
But, when he saw Kikyou's chocolate eyes open and look at him, he walked into the clearing, somewhat nervously. She said nothing, just continued to stare up at him, her eyes tired. He seated himself in front of Kikyou and they continued to say nothing, they were content to just stare into eachother's eyes, taking comfort in the knowledge that they were both safe and well. At least for the most part anyway.
Breaking their comfortable silence, Inuyasha whispered in relief, "Kikyou, you're alright. I was so worried . . ." he trailed off, a faint blush creeping onto his face.
Kikyou ignored the blush, and nodded. "I wouldn't be if it weren't for Kagome. I'm sure you know that," Kikyou stated, her voice flat and emotionless.
Inuyasha nodded. He noticed how distant she was. Why did she have to be so far away from him all the time? Why did she not open herself up to him? "Kikyou, please, don't do this," he began, his voice pleading. "Please don't be like a stranger." He looked at her, a begging expression on his face, just like a puppy begging for food. It was cute, but it almost pathetic.
Deciding to also ignore his face and his pleas, Kikyou told him bluntly, "Inuyasha, I am a stranger. I am not the Kikyou I was once fifty years ago."
Inuyasha's eyes widened a bit at her straightforwardness, but then again, Kikyou never did like beating around the bush. They fell into an awkward silence, for Inuyasha didn't know how to respond to that. He looked at her, trying to express what he felt; trying to express what was going on in his mind. "Kikyou . . . I . . ." he began, but Kikyou cut him off.
"Do not say it Inuyasha. You will not mean it," Kikyou said with a sad tone in her voice, but kept it firm. When she saw Inuyasha about to protest, she shook her head and continued, "Inuyasha, you and I, we can never go back to what we were fifty years ago. We are over," she said somewhat harshly.
That statement hit Inuyasha like a ton of bricks. He backed away from Kikyou, the bitter truth right there in the open. Unbeknownst to him though, Kikyou was biting back tears. She didn't mean it, any of it. None of the cold words she had said to him in their visits since she had been resurrected did she mean. No, those were nothing but a cold façade she put up around herself. She was trying to protect not only herself, but him as well. She was trying to help him, but he simply would not give in.
Standing up, Inuyasha regarded Kikyou coolly, "Fine, if that's the way you want it to be Kikyou. I'll quit bothering you, I guess I'm just a waste of your precious time."
Kikyou gasped slightly. He was finally going to move on, finally going to forget her . . . just like she had wanted. But, she didn't want him to think she hated him. Forcing back her tears, Kikyou weakly stood and grabbed his hand. Inuyasha stopped and looked at her. He saw that her eyes were closed tightly and she wasn't looking at him.
"What do you want Kikyou?" Inuyasha demanded rudely. "I'm trying to leave you alone, just like you want me to! So, what's your problem?" he shouted. He was about to yell at her more, but he caught the smell of something odd, something coming from Kikyou. His nose had picked up the scent of salt water, which could only be . . . All thoughts were lost to Inuyasha and his eyes softened. They were Kikyou's tears. She was trying to keep them back, but they were threatening to fall.
Hating to see Kikyou in such distraught, Inuyasha pulled her close to him. She tried to pull away, tried to get him to let go, but he held her steadily, tightening his embrace. And then, her defenses collapsed as the tears came falling, and her mask cracked completely open. She fell into his arms, letting it all out. All of the pain, regrets, and sorrow she had been feeling.
Inuyasha held onto her, suddenly realizing what it was Kikyou had been trying to do. When her crying subsided, he looked into her chocolate depths, drinking in their pleading for forgiveness. He realized now that she was just trying to give him a better life, just trying to help him move on, just trying to make him let go. She hadn't meant those cruel, cold, unfeeling words she had spoken to him, or those icy glares she had given him. They had all just been an act, an act to try to push him in the right direction.
As they stared into eachother's eyes, they gathered all they needed to know. No words needed to be spoken between the two; they could read the other's soul just by looking into the other's eyes. Their love had not dimmed, had not faded, and most certainly had not died. No, it had grown stronger, and they loved eachother too much to see the other unhappy.
Though they could no longer be together, for in between them laid the obstacles of living and death, past and present, they still loved one another. They had been confused so long, each suffering as they tried to find the right words to express what it was they truly meant, each suffering as the wrong words escaped their mouths. They could never make the other understand how they truly felt by voicing it, so instead, they settled on a silent way of communication.
Finally, they had the answers they had been searching for. Inuyasha stood up and prepared to walk back to his friends, they were waiting. But, he looked back at Kikyou, and the two shared a last parting look into the other's eyes. They knew how they felt about eachother, and that was good enough for them. They would be able to be in love, maybe not in this life, but another one perhaps.
So, their heavy hearts seemed to get just a little lighter. For, sometimes, the best understanding is not the one that everyone else understands when you speak it aloud, but the one that only two can share. The kind of understanding shared by only the truest of soul mates. Yes, they would be together someday, but now they could finally move on, all thanks to a little silent understanding.
I know that was a bit corny, but still, please review and tell me what you thought! If you want me to, I can redo it! Remember, review! Flames welcomed!