This Is How A Heart Breaks

By Jasmine Starlight

A/N: Another AU, …yeah…yeah…yeah…this is for my reviewers who wanted Neji/Sasu…well……here it is.

Full Summary: Yaoi/het. Neji/Sasu Sasuke's slightly mordant; Itachi just might be a sociopath. Maybe Gaara is from a broken home. Neji just may be in the closet. Maybe Naruto might be lonely. Maybe Kabuto needs someone to love. Maybe Kakashi might need someone to hold. Maybe Sakura might need real friends. Maybe Temari needs a reality check. Maybe Kankurou needs anger management. Maybe Jiraiya needs Tsunade. Maybe Orochimaru needs them both. Maybe Hinata needs freedom. Maybe Kiba might need acceptance. Maybe Ino needs confidence. Maybe Tenten needs medication. Perhaps Shikamaru needs love. Shino, quite possibly could need companionship. Maybe Tayuya is hiding behind her personality. Maybe Haku fears rejection. Maybe Kimimaro desires friendship. Maybe Lee is crying out for attention. Maybe Obito needs compassion.

A/N: I like Sasuke as an outcast better than a popular person; it makes him easier to create angst for. I angst therefore I am. I don't like to make people evil sick bastards, like making Itachi a rapist. Don't like it, I would make him evil but it's been done too many times in HS fics.

So I've decided that everyone will secretly hate everyone else. Then no one is the real villain. Except maybe Orochimaru. He's creepy. But then I can pair him Jiraiya and he can become reformed.

I like secondary characters. They rock my socks. I also like angst. And humor. I can't purposely write either of them, they just end up in the same place. Sigh.

But I can write romance…randomly. I like all the Jounins who don't get enough screen time.

I will try to keep this story cliché free, but with all the pop cultures references I can. I like pop culture references.

The stuff in italics is thoughts. I wrote another insanely long summary. Damnit.

Dedicated to Frontier of Darkness



"Sister, I'm not much a poet, but a criminal
And you never had a chance
Love it, or leave it, you can't understand
A pretty face, but you do so carry on,
and on,
and on"

--My Chemical Romance


This is stupid, really stupid.

You might wonder what this is, it is a journal, and we're supposed to be keeping one for our time capsule at the end of the year. We as in the students of Konoha High.

Me as in Uchiha Sasuke. Maybe I should tell you about myself, maybe.

Personally, I think this is a ploy by the teachers to get us to do work without us thinking it's work. Occasionally they give us questionnaires to fill out, which are stupid and pointless. In a hundred years will people care what clothes we wore and what music we listened to?

I don't care now.

But the journal is supposed to be 40 of our final grade, and they're supposedly having random checks or something. You'd think we're being searched for bombs.

These are just words. They don't mean anything. They won't change anybody or anything, it's just ink.

At the end of the year we're all doing a video diary. What fun that will be.

But I'm tired of talking about how stupid and useless this project is. It won't do anything, just words, you know.

I'm 15, 16 soon. I'm a Sophomore. Yay!

I don't particularly like going here. It's disconcerting. My brother and cousin go here already so as if I wasn't already overshadowed enough at home.

Shisui is really irritating.

Itachi can be okay, when it's convenient for him, which is never convenient for me. Some of the people in my grade are so fake, and pointless, and self-centered. They used to be tolerable in middle school but now it's impossible to go anywhere without listening to them titter on and on about things that make absolutely no sense.

I am the antithesis of popular. I could be captain of everything, soccer, football, basketball, rugby, tennis, etc, etc.

But I chose not to. As a perk I get to see the vein in my father's head pulse rapidly.

It's already been done, several times, by every Uchiha who came before me. Honestly, it doesn't really matter if I become captain of everything and become class President and Prom King and the most popular dude in school. All of those titles are fleeting, superficial; they don't mean anything in the real world.

I like being antisocial.

It's easy.

I don't have to put up a front. I don't have to pretend like I care. I don't have to do anything unless I want to.

Well, my friends…they're sort of retarded, moronic, idiotic, immature, ineffectual, antisocial, anti-school, anti-normal, anti-trend, and pro-weird.

Naruto is a blithering idiot most of the time, but he does have his moments. Like when he toilet papered the entire basketball team because they told him that Santa Claus didn't exist.

I asked him about it and he said this, "'Course I knew that Santa Claus didn't exist! Bastards didn't have to ruin it though, Christmas spirit you know."

They weren't very happy about it, although Itachi did send me some interesting pictures. Those dumb jocks looked like tomatoes. Heh.


Chat #178832399 has opened

UZImaki01 has entered room

Mhmmm has entered room

FanManAvenger! Has entered room

UZImaki01: sup

Mhmmm: Do you know what's on the lunch menu tomorrow?


Exhausted Idiot has entered room

Exhausted Idiot:…

YouthfulDude777 has entered room

RedAsBlood0996 has entered room

UZImaki01: sup.

RedAsBlood09666: nothing…do we have to write that stupid journal thing?

YouthfulDude777: It is not stupid! I started mine already. YOSH!

Mhmmm: Do you always talk in capitals?

FanManAvenger: Has he ever talked in anything but?

Exhausted Idiot: …good point.

UZImaki01: I'm bored….

FanManAvenger: So go do something.

UZImaki01: like what?

FanManAvenger: that's your problem…:D

UZImaki01: you suck…

FanManAvenger: you blow…

UZImaki01: you gurgle…

FanManAvenger: you…swallow!

RedAsBlood09666: you guys are perverts.

UZImaki01: like you should talk.


Exhausted Idiot: what?

YouthfulDude777: what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

UZImaki01: wtf?

RedAsBlood09666: ………rocky road.


Mhmmm: I don't have a favorite…

Exhausted Idiot: that's because you like them all.

UZImaki01:O…all of them?

Mhmmm: yes.

UZImaki01: even cherry Garcia?

FanManAvenger: if he likes all of them then he should like Cherry Garcia, imbecile.

UZImaki01: shut up

FanManAvenger: Make me.

Exhausted Idiot: …not this again.

FanManAvenger: shut up

UZImaki01: shut up

RedAsBlood09666:…I will squish you all.

YouthfulDude777: bye…

Mhmmm: ditto…mmmmmmm…pie.

RedAsBlood09666 has signed off.


Mhmmmm: I have to go eat dinner…

UZImaki01: it's 9:00…

Mhmmmm: second dinner…

Mhmmm has signed off.

Exhausted Idiot: sigh…

Exhausted Idiot has signed off.

FanManAvenger! Has signed off.

UZImaki01 has signed off.

YouthfulDude777: this is so not youthful.

YouthfulDude777 has signed off.

(Chat room closed)


"Get up!" Gaara awoke that morning, like every other morning to the sound of his father's yelling.

"Don't make me come up there!"

Gaara made his bed and exited his room, to see his father standing in the stairway glaring at him, "There better not be any trouble while I'm at work." He snarled.


His father turned and left, slamming the front door as he went.

Gaara waited until the sound of the car pulling out of the driveway was gone to descend downstairs. He pulled up a stool and sat at the counter, he glanced at the clock, 6:00. He didn't need to be ready for school until 7:15.

Gaara couldn't go back to sleep anyway, slowly getting off the stool he opened the fridge, withdrawing a packet of bacon, a carton of eggs, and orange juice. He started making breakfast for Temari and Kankurou.

At about 6:20 Temari stumbled into the kitchen, yawning loudly she surveyed Gaara's handiwork and began toasting bread and loading the dishwasher. After that was done she surveyed Gaara's appearance, "Dad woke you up again didn't he?" she asked disapprovingly. Gaara nodded.

Temari clucked as she fussed over him, "You didn't have to make breakfast for us, I could have made something."

Gaara said nothing as she pushed him into a chair. "What do you want for lunch?"


"Ham it is then."



"The toast is going to burn."


"I'll go get Kankurou." Gaara slid off the stool and slowly made his way up the stairs. Entering Kankurou's room he moved toward the lump on the bed. Padding toward the clock on the nightstand he pressed the alarm button and the room was filled with electronic shrieking.

"AHH! What the fuck!"


"Oh it's just you Gaara."


I've decided to finally start this thing.

It's kind of corny if you ask me, Iruka's been bothering me to start. It blows when your only parent works at your school.

But he's cool, he took me in when nobody cared, my parents died a long time ago. And I didn't have any relatives to live with and Iruka didn't have anyone either.

So now we have each other.

It sounds queer but…yeah.

We can write whatever we want to write here and no one can judge us. They can't say a damn thing, because if they've read it they probably are experiencing it right now.

That's unusually deep for me. I know everyone thinks I'm a complete and total moron. That's okay. It's my part.

I play it well. It may sound superficial but it's true. I have no problem accepting it. I'm very macho and mature. Way, more mature than Sasuke-bastard.

Speaking of him, he's my F.U.C.K.





Maybe it's not macho to remember that. But hey, he is a good friend. In his own fucked up, angsty way. He did help me with all those pranks I played on those dumbasses on the basketball team.


I know it doesn't help to provoke them. I know that I should know better. I know that if I need attention I should seek it in a healthy way.

But it's not fair. The entire school system is based on one fundamental rule: Follow the rules.

That's how it works. If you don't follow the rules you get punished. Then you don't do it again. It's the honor system, except for the fact that it's honor less.

If you have the image then everything else doesn't matter.

If you can bring your school a championship then you can do whatever the fuck you want and no one will do a damn thing to stop it.

If you can wear a letterman jacket and have the prettiest girl on your arm you can coast through life?


It doesn't make sense! Goddammit! They can do no wrong.

And it's not fair. Especially to us. When I say us I mean the outcasts. The ones who didn't have everything handed to them on a silver platter because they can put a ball through a hoop.

Shikamaru tells me that I shouldn't get worked up over it, it's too troublesome. Everything is too troublesome! I don't want to be like that.

Shikamaru is great and I've known him since that day I forgot my lunch and Chouji shared some with me way back when in kindergarten, but I don't want to be that jaded.

That jaded so you don't even care while people are subjected to injustices around you.

Maybe I'm making to big of a deal out of it but whatever, it's not fair and everyone knows it. They just won't do a damn thing to change anything.

So what if they end up with toilet paper hanging all over their houses. They could afford three more.

I don't use violence. Then I would be sinking down to their level. And that's reaaaaally low.




I can't believe I'm going to write in this stupid thing. It's retarded.

Maybe I should stop using "I" and write a few names.


I'm supposed to divulge my darkest secrets to a school project? That's going to happen.

Here are the names.

Kabuto. Kankurou. Haku. Kimimaro. Kidoumaru. Lee.

They are my friends. Maybe I should tell you my name. Great, I'm talking to a piece of paper like it's a person. I'm going insane.

I wouldn't blame me though. For going insane. That would be great news for the rumor mill, Hyuuga Neji Totally Bonkers!

Oops, told you my name.

Whatever will I do now?


"…mmmm…pie…supermodels…more pie…supermodels and pie…mmmm…"

Kidoumaru snickered as Kurenai advanced down the rows to Kankurou's seat. Poking him sharply with her ruler, as was their routine, he awoke suddenly. "Apple! Coconut cream! Where's the blueberry?"

Kurenai jabbed him again for good measure, "Sensei! Oh, what can I help you with?" Kankurou asked, smiling sheepishly.

Kurenai was not amused, "Kankurou that's the third time this week."



Itachi idly flipped the pages of his textbook back and forth, just to hear the crackling sound they made. Being subjected to study hall was an injustice. Especially when he didn't have anything to do.

Dismissing the urge to sigh dramatically, he systematically crammed his personal affects back into his book bag. Stealthily creeping toward a bookcase, Itachi quietly crept past the hall monitor and out of the library.

Rolling his eyes in disgust, he made a beeline toward his locker to empty the crap from his book bag. Being in the halls when no one else was, was Itachi's preferred way of transport through his school.

He disliked the triviality of idiotic high school life. Where no one really knows what the hell they're doing but they pretend to so they can avoid awkward questions.

They settle for whatever is in no matter where they stand.

Itachi found high school a waste of time. Teenage angst is overrated.


Chat room #557921767 has been opened

DeathisNoESCAPE: hi


DeathisNoESCAPE: do I know you?

RedAsBlood09666:…probably not.

DeathisNoESCAPE:…good. Is it weird that I'd rather talk to a stranger on the Internet than people I actually know?

RedAsBlood09666: some of the people I know…well…let's say I'd rather speak to my father for several hours than talk to them.

DeathisNoESCAPE:…that bad?

RedAsBlood09666: yeah

DeathisNoESCAPE:…welcome to the club.

RedAsBlood09666:…welcome? I'm President.

DeathisNoESCAPE:…really? I thought I was President…

RedAsBlood09666: You can be Vice-President…

DeathisNoESCAPE: …bitch

RedAsBlood09666: what's our first order of business VP?

DeathisNoESCAPE:…screwdrivers for everyone.

RedAsBlood09666:…good plan

DeathisNoESCAPE:…sometimes I wish I were dead.

RedAsBlood09666:…are you my long lost sibling from another mother?

DeathisNoESCAPE: …sure…

RedAsBlood09666:…what were you saying before I interrupted you?

DeathisNoESCAPE:…I want to kill myself but then I worry if there's anything for me on the other side.

RedAsBlood09666:…your sn.

DeathisNoESCAPE:…you're the only one who got that.

RedAsBlood09666:…are you a dude?


RedAsBlood09666:…me too.

DeathisNoESCAPE:…does it matter? No that's an idiotic question. Since we're so close already, gay or straight?


DeathisNoESCAPE:…ditto…I would ask if I know you but that might mean actually asking for a physical description.


DeathisNoESCAPE:…I'll understand if you now can't stand to talk to me.

RedAsBlood09666:…I don't mind…my friends are weirder and blunter.

DeathisNoESCAPE:…if you have friends why are you talking to me?

RedAsBlood09666:…sometimes there are things you can't tell anyone.

DeathisNoESCAPE:…sometimes? I can't tell anyone anything. I'm paranoid like that.

RedAsBlood09666:…heh…uke or seme?

DeathisNoESCAPE:…we jump around don't we?

RedAsBlood09666:…answer the question

DeathisNoESCAPE:…not sure yet…

RedAsBlood09666:…me neither.

DeathisNoESCAPE:…I won't judge.


DeathisNoESCAPE:…wouldn't it depend on the person?


DeathisNoESCAPE:…found anyone yet?



RedAsBlood09666:…like anyone?

DeathisNoESCAPE:…sort of.

RedAsBlood09666:…does he ignore you obliviously?

DeathisNoESCAPE:…more like I've seen him everyday for the past several years and I still don't warrant a second glance. Maybe it would be better if I were a man-whore?

RedAsBlood09666:…which hurts more?


RedAsBlood09666:…man-whoreequalsbad idea

DeathisNoESCAPE:…is yours gay?

RedAsBlood09666:…I'm pretty sure…gaydar.


RedAsBlood09666:…what about you?

DeathisNoESCAPE:…hasn't been doing girls…but that doesn't make him gay.

RedAsBlood09666:…you know what my father would tell me?

DeathisNoESCAPE:…tell me.

RedAsBlood09666:…stop whining you lazy fag. Get me a beer stupid.



I've decided not to include rape in this fic.

I can't write it yet.

Summer is over dude. I haven't done anything. Must go update COAS.

Review me bitches.