Full Summary: Meet Hitch, New York's greatest matchmaker. Love is his job and he'll get you the girl of your dreams in just three easy dates, guaranteed! And that's exactly what happens when Goku Son wins the heart of gorgeous society heiress Chi-Chi Mau. So when tabloid columnist Bulma Briefs decides to uncover the secret behind Goku's success, she's shocked to discover that Vegeta Hitches, the charming young man she's been seeing, is the legendary date doctor himself. Exposed in a front-page scoop, it's up to Vegeta to try to save Goku and Chi-Chi's relationship as well as his own. Which only goes to show that just when you think you've found true love, there's always a HITCH.
Don't own Dragonball Z or the movie Hitch that this fanfic is based on. Some characters are out of character (like Vegeta). So please R&R. The fanfic will become more exciting and funny in later chapters.
"Vegeta talking but not being seen"
Went off an alarm in an apartment building. A woman with dark blue hair shut it off and rolled over in her bed. She held a pillow close to her. Her name is Launch.
"Basic principles: No woman wakes up saying, "God I hope I don't get swept off my feet today. Now she might say, "This is a really bad time for me." Or something like, "I just need some space." Or my personal favorite, "I'm really into my career right now."
Launch grabbed her mail and carried her male wiener dog over her shoulder.
A man with black hair that spiked straight up like a candle flame and onyx black eyes. He wasn't tall, but he wasn't short. His name is Vegeta. (He's looking at you.) "You believe that? Neither does she. You know? Because she is lying to you, that's why," Vegeta stated.
Launch pushed a button and waits for an elevator, she puts her dog down.
"You understand me? Lying," said Vegeta. He grabs a female wiener dog out of his bag and puts her on the floor.
"It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. She might be into her career…but what she's really saying is, "Get away from me now!" Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid." Well, which one is it? 60 of all human communication is nonverbal. Body language. 30 is your tone. So that means 90 of what you are saying…ain't coming out of your mouth," Vegeta explained.
Launch's dog runs out of the elevator and to Vegeta.
"Toby!" Launch shouted. The elevator doors shut in her face. "Shit," she curses.
Vegeta picks up Toby and walks toward the door. "Of course she'll lie to you. She's a nice person; she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings. What else is she gonna say? She doesn't even know you. Yet," said Vegeta.
Vegeta hands Launch's dog to a tall bald man with three eyes, his name is Tien.
"Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us…even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it," Vegeta stated.
Tien pets the dog and stops a taxi and jumps in front of it landing in the middle of the street.
"And that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes," Vegeta stated watching Tien.
Launch runs out of the building. She sees a man with her dog in the middle of the road in front of a taxi. "Toby! Oh my god!"
Tien stands up and walks toward her. "Is this what you're looking for?" Tien asked showing her the dog in his arms.
They walk away and start talking.
(Vegeta is looking at you again.) "Basic principles: No matter what, no matter when, no matter who…any man has a chance to sweep any woman of her feet. Just needs the right broom. (Vegeta winks.) You cannot use what you do not have. So if you're shy, be shy. If you're outgoing, be outgoing," stated Vegeta.
Vegeta sat down and looked at a bald man around his late forties.
"I'm not outgoing," the man stated looking at Vegeta.
"That's ok, she may not want the whole truth but she wants the real you. She might not want to see it all at once, but she does want to see it," Vegeta stated.
The man took a deep breath and nodded.
Vegeta sat in a taxi with a man with black hair. "So tonight, if you're wondering what to say, how you look, or if she likes you…just remember she is already out with you. That means she said yes when she could have said no. That means she made a plan when she could have just blown you off. So that means it is no longer your job to try and make like you. It is your job not to mess it up," Vegeta stated.
The man looks at Vegeta and frowns. "Huh?
Changing scenes (Vegeta is with Tien)
"Huh?" asked Tien frowning at the thought of messing up.
Changing scene (Vegeta is with the bald guy)
"Huh?" asked the bald man wondering what if he does mess up.
Vegeta shook his head.
Changing scene (Vegeta talking to Tien again)
Vegeta looks at Tien's shoes. "The shoes are hot. You went to the place I told you, right?" Vegeta asked looking at Tien.
Tien looks at his shoes then Vegeta. "Yeah, but I don't think they're really me," Tien stated.
Vegeta shakes his head. "'You' is a very fluid concept right now. You bought the shoes. You look great in the shoes. That's the you I'm talking about," Vegeta said leaning against the wall.
Moving a long
Tien and Launch walk into a museum and Launch stops at a picture.
"The key to night is hang back. Give her plenty of space. If she lingers at a photograph move on. But maintain the visual,"
Tien moved on to a different room but kept watch of Launch.
"Alright, it's suppose to be 64 and clear out tonight, so when you leave the club walk a little. Ask her what she thought of the show…what was her favorite photograph, why that one. And when she answers don't be looking at her mouth. Don't be wondering what she looks like naked. Listen and respond,"
Vegeta rights 'Listen and respond' on the chalkboard and looks at Tien.
"Listen and respond," Tien said to himself.
Vegeta put the chalk down and leaned against the chalkboard.
Back to Tien and Launch's date
"That way, when it's your turn to talk…you'll have something to say then, "I like your mouth."
Launch looks at Tien as they stop in front of her apartment building. "What was your favorite one?" Launch asked.
Tien looks at her. "The elephant, definitely," Tien answers.
"And all of a sudden, we're on date number two,"
"You have a cute smile," Tien stated.
Launch hit Tien in his arm.
"In case you didn't go to high school, hitting is a good thing. So how does it happen, great love? No body knows. But what I can tell you, is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment, you're enjoying life. And the next, you're wondering how you ever lived you without them. Three dates is all I need. Three dates, and I'll get you here, to high-states medal round…where eight out of ten women believe that the first kiss…will tell them everything they need to know about the relationship,"
Tien and Launch kiss. Tien pulls Launch in closer making it more passionate.
Launch rolls over and shuts the alarm off. She rolls over and kisses Tien's cheek.
(Vegeta looks back at you.) "After that, you're on your own. But always remember…life is not the amount of breaths you take. It's the moments that take your breath away," Vegeta stated.
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Saiyanfanatics(Vegetafanic1 and Goku fanatic1 fused)