Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan. Complete list of credits at the end of the story.

The Marriage Chronicles - Ever wonder what the lives of the DC characters would be like once they got married? Well, wonder no more! We present to you various little peeks at their married lives. Brace yourselves! (SxR, HxK, KxA)

Friendly Advice

3 Years Ago; 4:00 A.M.

Ring. Ring.

Shinichi groggily climbed out of bed to answer the clamoring phone. Beside him, Ran made a muffled noise in the back of her throat, turned, and slept on. Shinichi envied her.

" 'ello?" he asked, blearily.

"Kudo?"

"Hattori?" Shinichi suppressed an exasperated sigh, "do you even know what time it is?"

"Shut up." Of course, he would ignore him. "So.." A pause, then clearing of the throat, "y'know... what's it like?"

"Wha..?" Detective of the East or not, it was four in the morning.

"You know!" Heiji insisted on the other end. "Marriage! What's it like?"

"Oh." Shinichi blinked. "It's good."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Then Shinichi blinked. "Until you get her pregnant, anyway."

A pause on the other end. "Huh?"

"Crazy mood swings," Shinichi explained, cringing at the memory of it all. "You've heard about how women get when they're pregnant, right? It is a lot worse than it sounds."

"Oh, crap.." Shinichi could hear the other man fidgeting over the phone.

"But," he then went on hurriedly, "you've known her for all your life, right? So no secrets. You know her inside and out. How many other couples have that advantage?"

Another pause. "You sure?" Heiji said. "There won't be... well, any surprises, whatsoever?"

Shinichi crossed his fingers. "Nope."

A relieved sigh on the other end. "And - well, this whole marriage thing. Is it really, really worth it?"

A small smile flickered across Shinichi's face as he uncrossed his fingers. "Yeah. It really, really is."

He heard Heiji sigh, and could picture him closing his eyes and cracking his knuckles, then nodding to himself. "Alright. Thanks, Kudo."

"No problem. Big day for you tomorrow.."

Singing in the Shower

3 Years Later, Present Times

Heiji could be heard singing loudly in the shower.

"Releeeeeaaaaaase meeeee... Get me out of this hell that I'm trapped innnnn..."

Kazuha rapped her knuckles against the bathroom door. "Heiji!" she called, shrilly.

"What?" his voice came in muffled through the rushing water.

"SHUT UP!"

A Typical Morning at the Kudo Household

5:00 A.M. - A pan-shot of Shinichi and Ran, sleeping peacefully in each other's arms.

5:15 A.M. - Conan, their three-year-old son, bursts in. "Good moooorning!" he chirps. Ran groans and snuggles closer to Shinichi. Conan runs and jumps on the bed, ruining any hope of a late awakening.

"Conaaan," Shinichi murmurs.

"Daddy!" Conan bounds up and down on the bed. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

"Conan.."

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

"It's not even six yet," Ran admonishes her son.

"But, but, but!" Conan bats his eyelashes. "Uncle Kaito said that if I don't wake you up at preci - pre - preci - precisely!" he finishes pronouncing the word with flourish, "five fifteen in the morning every single day, then the Kaitou KID will steal all of my Barney tapes!"

Shinichi growls. "I'll kill him..."

Messy

"Ooh, you're going to grow up to be a beauty," Kaito murmured, grinning at his daughter. "Yeah, Yukari?"

Yukari, his one-year-old daughter, giggled.

"And you'll have hoards of boys chasing after you. Yup, I can just imagine. And Daddy will have many special surprises in store for them, yes, he will! Like the trapdoor in the backyard that leads to the underground pit of Dobermans.."

Yukari gurgled and made numerous baby noises.

"But that's not for a long time," Kaito finished, nodding his head. "So, want to see some magic?" He bounced her up and down on his elbow while fishing for something out of his pockets at the same time. Finding what he was looking for, he snapped his fingers, prompting a swirl of confetti to fall all around them. Yukari clapped her hands and Kaito, energized by his daughter's display of support, continued the show by pulling balloons, dolls, candies, roses, playing cards, and balls out of thin air.

His well-trained ears alerted him to the sound of footsteps behind him. He turned his head and waved at a just-risen Aoko.

Whose gaze landed on the floor.

To be precise, the dozens of pieces of confetti, flower petals, and various other objects that littered the floor.

"I'm not cleaning that up," she told him.

The Big News

"Heiji?"

"Hn."

"Heiji?" The ponytailed woman tried again.

"Hn." The dark-skinned man went on reading his newspaper, muttering something under his breath about the increasing number of murders in Tokyo.

Kazuha rolled her eyes. "I dyed my hair green."

"Hn."

"I'm secretly in love with Kudo-kun."

"Hn."

"The only reason I married you was to get close to him."

"Hn."

"I flushed your cap down the toilet."

"You WHAT?" Heiji stood up, raced into the kitchen, and retrieved a plunger from one of the cabinets.

"I'm pregnant."

"Do you know how much that cap costs, woman! I can't believe you'd -" And suddenly fell silent as his face turned a various assortment of colors, from pink to purple to green.

Kazuha leaned back, smirked, and waited for the explosion that was due to come.

Three..

Two..

One..

Heiji didn't disappoint.

"WHAT?"

Curse of the Fish

"Yu-ka-ri," Kaito sang, holding a spoonful of baby food in front of his daughter's face. "Won't you eat this for Daddy?"

Yukari wrinkled her nose and pushed the spoon away.

"Try the airplane trick," Aoko suggested, drying her damp hair with a towel. "It worked last time."

"Tried it. And the train." Kaito tilted his head and surveyed Yukari seriously. "You're as stubborn as your mother."

Aoko snorted.

"Eat it for Daddy, eat it for Daddy..." Kaito promptly snapped his fingers and sent a shower of rose petals swirling around the baby girl. As Yukari's mouth opened wide, he took this opportunity to stick the spoonful of baby food in. "YES! Finished!"

Aoko laughed at the sight and wiped Yukari's mouth off. She took her out of her high-chair. "Good job, baby. Now go play."

And Kaito, finished with his job, leaned back on his chair and relaxed.

Hell would break loose in approximately in a minute's time.

Yukari, laughing happily in her own little baby world, crawled slowly to her father's legs, little baby toy in hand. Kaito smiled to himself as he felt something brush against his foot and looked down.

And lo and behold, there it was - seemingly innocent, clutched in his daughter's chubby baby hands -

A stuffed fish.

"GAH!" He shouted, for the entire neighborhood to hear, leaping off the couch and landing nimbly on his feet. "That - that - what in the world is - is THAT -"

Aoko came rushing out of the kitchen. "Oh, Kaito," she said, shaking her head.

"What - is - THAT?" the magician hissed at his wife, pointing at the stuffed orange fish as if it were poison. Yukari giggled and played on, oblivious.

"It's a stuffed fish," Aoko said, hands on hips. "Come on, Kaito, it's Nemo! Remember how much Yukari loved that movie?"

"She loved it," Kaito said, "I hated it. All those fishes. Swimming everywhere... Aoko, we have to throw it out."

"I will not!" Aoko exploded, glowering at him. "Look at your daughter! She loves that fish!"

"But - but Aokoooo!"

"No! Now deal with it!"

Kaito sulked.

Man-to-Man

Shinichi stepped onto the balcony and sighed. The sun was peeking in through the clouds and a pleasant breeze wafted through the air. Inside, Ran was giving Conan a bath, and Shinichi was enjoying what little moments of serenity he had left while having a three-year-old son.

As is customary, the peaceful and tranquil scene didn't last long. First there was an explosion in the house to the left of his, with two all-too-familiar voices bellowing at the top of their lungs. This wasn't an uncommon scene in the neighborhood.

Second, there were crashing sounds of what suspiciously sounded like a mop hitting many solid objects in the house to the right of his.

Shinichi sunk down onto the lawn chair and sighed.

Simultaneously, two men stomped out onto the balcony on either side of him.

"So," Shinichi began, slowly and deliberately, "what's up?"

"Aoko bought Yukari a stuffed Nemo toy," Kaito muttered, stuffing his hands into his pants.

This remark earned two snorts from the other two men.

"I considered taking it," Kaito went on, "it'd be excruciatingly easy to do, of course. But there'd be hell to pay afterwards.."

"It's not worth it," Shinichi advised him.

"Keh," was all the magician said, waving a hand in the air.

"And you, Hattori?" Shinichi said, turning his attention to the dark-skinned man.

"Kazuha's pregnant," came the clipped reply.

"Ouch!" came the two exclamations in unison. "Good luck. You're going to need it."

Heiji sighed. "I know."

Parental Concern

Ran was an extremely overprotective mother. And who could blame her? Her dad was a detective, her husband was a detective, her husband's best friend was a detective. She was surrounded by dead bodies twenty-four-seven. Plus the fact that her husband had previously been shrunken into a seven-year-old boy by a secret organization, and you had yourself a recipe for paranoia.

"Conan," she said, reaching out her right hand. "Hold my hand while we cross the street."

"Okay!" he said, obediently, and reached up to clasp her hand.

They carefully crossed the street and sat down on a blanket that Ran had brought with her. It was a red-and-white checkered blanket, and the grass was slightly dewy from the morning rain.

Kidnappers were relatively rare nowadays, but there were still a few cases here and there of such a crime. On this day, a man dressed in a khaki suit strolled nonchalantly by the two of them.

And then quickly reached out and grabbed Conan's collar.

"Ah!" he shouted, "Mommy! Mommy!" While biting the man's hand all the way.

Ran stood up faster than lightning and sprinted straight for the man, who hadn't expected something like that. After all, Ran did not look like a karate master. She looked like a seemingly sweet and beautiful young woman.

What was that phrase again? Something about not judging a book by its cover?

She leapt up and executed a perfect roundabout kick to his neck and gave him a nice black eye for good measure. She deliberately twisted his arm in a slow and surely painful way - something she'd picked up from Kazuha - as she pulled Conan close behind her. By this time, a police officer who had witnessed the entire thing had run across the street, handcuffs glinting in the sunlight.

"Ready to go home now, Conan?" Ran asked, smiling down at her son.

"Okay!" he chirped, and they went home as if nothing had happened.

The Overprotective Husband

"And what," Heiji asked, glaring, hands crossed over his chest, "do you think you're doing?"

"Nothing," Kazuha said, hiding the vacuum behind her back.

"Hand it over," he demanded, and Kazuha reluctantly did so - although not before smacking him lightly in the knee with it. "Honestly! You're pregnant! You shouldn't be doing this type of thing!"

"I'm just vacuuming!" she protested. "It's not like I'm lifting weights!"

Heiji suddenly loomed over her. "And you're not going to be lifting weights, you hear me?"

"Of course not!" Kazuha said, exasperatedly. "I'm not stupid, you know!"

"You sure about that?" he asked, sarcastically.

Kazuha glared.

"Lie down," he commanded, pointing to the couch.

"I can't just - lie down and not do anything!" she yelled, "I have to be doing something! Anything!"

"Then watch T.V.," Heiji told her, straightforwardly.

"Who's going to clean the house?" she questioned him.

"I will."

"That includes scrubbing the bathroom and the toilet," Kazuha continued.

"Yes, yes.." Heiji rolled his eyes and walked out.

Kazuha closed her eyes and rubbed at her forehead. "He'll break every single thing in the house.."

Gossip

"When you two were pregnant, did Kudo-kun and Kuroba-kun constantly follow you around to make sure that you 'didn't do anything stupid'?"

Ran and Aoko exchanged looks and then nodded simultaneously.

"It's hell," Aoko said, bluntly. "As if you're not nauseous enough already, what with morning sickness and everything, they make things worse."

"Exactly," Ran agreed. "They think that they're helping out. But in reality, they just bug the heck out of you."

"So how did you cope with it?" Kazuha asked desperately.

Ran and Aoko smirked.

"You get them with your irrational mood swings and cravings," Aoko told her, matter-of-factly. "Just be inventive. Go from happy one minute to crying the next. You know they can't stand to see us cry."

"It's true," Ran said now, "I once got Shinichi to buy me this necklace because I cried and went on a twenty-minute rant about how he wouldn't love me anymore because I got fat." She held out the gold chain with a moderately-sized diamond pendant. Kazuha and Aoko gushed over it appropriately before returning back to the conversation. "And just asking him for the most random foods at the most random times in the night. I figure, you're going through so much pain and discomfort as it is, you might as well get a laugh out of it."

"True, true.." Kazuha nodded as she took in this information. "How about you, Aoko-chan? How'd you do?"

"Much too easy for me," Aoko replied with a sinister smirk. "I just asked him for fish, fish, and fish, every single second of every single day."

Ran and Kazuha's eyes popped out before clapping in appreciation.

"And we have a winner," they announced, and Aoko stood up and curtsied.

Checkup

"Everything seems to be normal," Yamato-sensei declared, and Kazuha smiled gratefully at him. "By the way - did you want to know the gender of the baby?"

Now this had been one of the rare things the two of them had actually been able to agree on. "No," Heiji answered instantly, "we want to keep it as secret as possible. All we want to know is whether he or she is healthy. Nothing else. Nothing more."

"But -"

Heiji was instantly in front of him. "Is there something wrong? You just said that everything was normal."

Yamato-sensei chuckled - a little nervously. "Everything is fine. There was just something - something good - but as long as your wife and baby are healthy, you don't want to know anything else?"

"That's right," Heiji said, nodding emphatically to prove his point.

"Well, then, I have nothing more to say," Yamato-sensei told them, bowing his head slightly. "I'll see you in here next month then, Hattori-san." And as he watched their retreating backs, he let out a chuckle he'd been holding in for the duration of their entire appointment. "Are you two going to be in for a surprise.."

Women

"Women," Heiji began, "are evil."

"Evil, vile creatures," Kaito agreed wholeheartedly, memories of a certain stuffed orange fish in his mind.

"More vile than any fish?" Shinichi asked, smirking.

"Twice as vile as any fish," Kaito declared.

"Despite that, life without them would be...weird, wouldn't it?" Heiji said suddenly, frowning at the thought.

"All guys, you mean?" Shinichi blinked. "Oi, Hattori, don't even go there.."

Heiji raised his hands in defense. "All I'm saying is, they're evil."

"Amen," the other two men agreed, clinking glasses of soda underneath the blue and white striped umbrella in Shinichi's backyard. In front of them, they watched their respective wives - Ran, wiping Conan's tomato-sauce-stained mouth with a napkin; Aoko, bouncing Yukari lightly in her lap; Kazuha, smiling peacefully and one arm slung protectively across her belly.

"Though, they can be nice to have around though, don't you think?" Heiji suddenly said.

Shinichi and Kaito sighed defeatedly. "They always win in the end," Kaito remarked, and Shinichi nodded in agreement.

Midnight Cravings

Heiji had been dreaming about the better days, when he wasn't trapped with an evil, vile witch, when the said "evil, vile witch" nudged him painfully in the ribs and woke him up.

"What?" he asked, half-asleep.

"I'm hungry," she said.

"Then go eat something."

"Idiot!" And she whacked him across the head at this point. "You won't even let me clean the house, but you'll let me starve?"

"I'm not letting you starve," he slurred, burying his face underneath his pillow, "but you can get out of bed, go into the kitchen, and make a sandwich, can't you?"

"I don't want a sandwich!" she protested, "I want okonomiyaki!"

"Okono..miyaki..?" Heiji opened his eyes. "Stupid. Where am I supposed to get okonomiyaki at this time of night?"

"Make it then, if you can't find it," Kazuha challenged him.

"You know I can't cook to save my life," he said, and drew the blankets up over his head. "Just make a sandwich, will you?"

"I want okonomiyaki, and I want it now," Kazuha threatened, clutching a heavy iron frying pan and holding it menacingly over his head. Heiji saw this and cringed.

"But you know the okonomiyaki here in Tokyo doesn't even compare to the ones in Osaka anyway," Heiji tried, "just have a sandwich. Or how about some instant ramen?"

"I want my okonomiyaki," Kazuha told him, punctuating each word with a light smack on the head with her frying pan, "from Osaka."

These words took a while to register.

But Heiji was a rather skilled detective, so he caught on quite quickly.

"WHAT?"

Getting Rid of the Fish

Kaito glared down halfheartedly at the stupid stuffed fish that was wedged between him and Yukari. For some reason, Yukari hadn't been sleeping well in her crib, so Aoko and he had decided to have her sleep between them on their bed. Kaito had never complained, because of course, he loved his daughter dearly, but now that the fish was there, his feelings were beginning to change.

"Hello, Kaito," the fish snarled, waving a fin at him. "How do you like this, hm?"

Kaito blinked.

"I can't believe you're afraid of us!" Nemo said, clutching a fin to his heart dramatically. "We're just innocent, cute little fish!"

Kaito glowered. "One more word out of you and I'm flushing you down the toilet," he threatened.

"Pah, you wouldn't dare. Yukari-chan loves me dearly, you know, and if you got rid of me, you'd have a crying baby and an extremely pissed wife. Even the legendary Phantom Thief wouldn't dare go against those odds."

"I've always been a gambler," Kaito replied coolly, poker face sliding on easily.

"Oho?" Nemo positively smirked. "Then try it."

Kaito grinned his famous Phantom Thief smirk - the one that gave Aoko's father and Hakuba nightmares -, grabbed Nemo by the tail, and marched into the bathroom. Seconds later, flushing sounds were heard.

"Eep," Kaito said, blinking down at the toilet bowl, "I hope it goes down. It was a pretty small fish.."

He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the last of the orange fish go swirling down, down, down..

And then he heard the unmistakable cry of his daughter.

Ooh, crap.

Surrounded

In the middle of the night, two explosions took place on both sides of Shinichi's house. To the left, shrill voices with an unmistakable Kansai accent; to the right, what sounded like a violent chase scene complete with a mop.

Shinichi sighed. "Why are we surrounded by idiots?"

Ran snorted and snuggled closer to him. "You were friends with them first, dear."

Baby Clothes

"We'll have to get neutral colors then, won't we?" Kazuha mused as she glanced longingly at a pink, frilly set of baby pajamas.

"Obviously," Heiji replied, rolling his eyes. "Get green."

Kazuha eyed him and couldn't suppress the smile that had crossed her face. "What is that, the second thing we've agreed on in the past seven months?"

"I told you I could come out on my own," he said, ignoring her. "You're like a melon, 'zuha."

"Yeah, I don't remember Ran-chan or Aoko-chan being this big, do you?" Kazuha glanced down and patted at her belly. And then glared sinisterly at her husband, "you planning on ditching me for a younger, skinnier girl?"

Heiji sighed and rolled his eyes. "If I wanted to, I would've done that a long time ago."

Kazuha glared.

"Seriously, though.." and he placed a hand over her belly, and the contact still brought shivers down both of their spines, even after three-and-a-half years of marriage, "you're getting huge - hey, it kicked me!"

"Don't call our baby an 'it'!" Kazuha exclaimed, although a grin had spread across her face. "She did, though? Really?"

"Yeah, he did," Heiji corrected, "and it was pretty strong, too. Think we should get Kudo to teach him soccer?"

Kazuha snorted. "Like you'd let him. If we had a boy, you'd be too busy teaching him kendo. But since we're having a girl, you'll be too busy keeping the boys away."

"We're having a boy, and you know it."

"We're having a girl."

"What would you know?"

"I'm the one carrying the baby, moron!"

Heated, silent glares.

"Just get the green pajamas, will you?"

Replacing the Fish

Kaito shivered visibly. He was pretty sure that if Hakuba could see him, he'd be laughing his pompous butt right off. Kaito sulked and narrowed his eyes. He took a deep, deep breath.

"It's fine," he told himself, quietly. "It's just like getting ready for a heist. Except - except a hell of a lot harder -"

He stretched his arms and cracked his neck.

Took a step closer to the object of desire.

And promptly fell back.

"Just pretend it's Hakuba," he said to himself, attracting some odd looks from passers-by. "That it's his face. They look about the same, actually.."

He pulled a face.

"You can do this, Kaito." He closed his eyes and inhaled. "Just like another heist."

He stepped closer -

And in the blink of an eye, grabbed a stuffed orange fish and dumped it in the cart.

He shivered, again.

Gosh, the things he did for his family.

The First Day

Ran took a deep breath. Beside her, Shinichi shot her an amused look. She replied with a glare.

"I'm so glad that you're finding this funny, Shinichi," she said, huffing.

"Sorry, sorry," he apologized, laughing. "Actually, I think my mom was the same way on my first day of pre-school, too.."

"Can't we just home-school him?" Ran pleaded. "We have enough money, don't we? I'd rather keep him at home where I can keep an eye on him.."

"You're suffocating him in here, Ran," Shinichi reasoned with his wife, "come on, or else he'll be late."

"What if the other kids make fun of him?" Ran asked, anxiously wringing her hands. "What if - what if he trips? What if he gets beaten up?"

Shinichi shot her a Look. "As if you haven't taught him enough karate moves already. And I taught him how to kick. And Hattori taught him some kendo moves. And Kazuha-san showed him some aikido moves. And Aoko-san taught him things to do with a mop that I never even knew were possible. And Kuroba showed him some - some random junk, too. The other kids should be the ones afraid of him."

"But -"

Shinichi clapped a mouth over hers. "Shush," he said, and then louder: "Conan! We'll be late if you don't hurry!"

Ran bit at his hand and he pulled it back with a cross look on his face. "But," she insisted, "what if -"

Conan ran out of his room, all dressed up in his primary-school uniform, and Ran bit back a giggle as memories of the original Conan flooded back into her mind. And then worry took over her again.

"Hey, Conan," she began, kneeling down, "what do you think about staying home with Mommy?"

"Ran," Shinichi began, warningly.

Conan stopped to think it over. "But I wanna meet and play with the other kids, too.."

Ran stood up and threw her hands in the air. "Fine! FINE!"

Conan blinked and turned to his father. "Did I do something wrong, Daddy?"

Shinichi sighed. "No, no you didn't..."

Birthday Card

On the morning of her twenty-eighth birthday, Kazuha, stomach swelling, found a yellow envelope on top of Heiji's pillow - he must have gone off to work already, she thought, insensitive jerk can't even spend the day together with his wife on her birthday. She sat up with a little difficulty and took the envelope.

She opened it.

And lit up.

The card was simple, and read: "Out of all the people that drive me crazy, I love you the most." And at the bottom, in Heiji's handwriting, "Happy Birthday, Kazuha. Don't go whining and making a big deal about getting older, you hear?"

She giggled and held the card to her chest as she fell back on her pillow. She was beaming as she closed her eyes to get a few extra minutes of sleep.

Unbeknownst to her, Heiji had been watching the entire thing from his vantage point at the door. He smiled to himself as he walked away. Moments like these, he was really glad he'd married her. Crazy mood swings, shrill verbal battles and all.

...and her reaction

"Here you go, Yukari," Kaito said, gingerly holding out the new Nemo stuffed toy. "It's Nemo, you see?"

Yukari paused and examined the toy.

Kaito waited with bated breath.

Aoko stood in the background, mop nearby.

Yukari squealed with glee and hugged Nemo close to her chest, making excited baby noises.

Kaito sighed with relief and Aoko stepped away from her mop.

"Fish!" Yukari squealed. "Fish! Fish! Fish!"

Aoko's mouth dropped open. "Did you hear that, Kaito? Her first word! Yukari's first word! She's... almost two, yes... yes, that's right... oh, Kaito, isn't this great?"

Kaito wasn't listening. He was currently on his knees, clutching his hands together and screaming at the ceiling.

"Why?" he howled, "WHY? Out of all the words, why that one?"

Stalker

"Where are you going?"

Ran froze by the door. "Out," she replied evasively.

"Oh? Out where?"

"Grocery store," Ran replied. "We're out of rice."

"I just bought some last week."

"Had a sudden craving for pickles," Ran said, daring him to challenge her.

"Ran," Shinichi said, exasperatedly. "You were going to the preschool to check up on Conan, weren't you?"

"No," Ran lied.

Shinichi shot her a Look.

Ran turned away.

"You were going to go to the school," Shinichi went on, going into full-blast detective mode, "peer through the windows, and watch his every move. Ran, you were going to stalk our son."

" 'Stalk' is such a harsh word," Ran said, frowning. "Just... checking... on him.."

"He's four now, Ran," Shinichi said, "he's perfectly capable."

"But, but, but -"

"He's my son too, you know," Shinichi said, gesturing for her to come sit by him, which she reluctantly did. "And you know that if I thought he was in any danger I'd be the first one there."

Ran sighed. "I know."

"So you'll stay here for the entire day until it's time to pick him up?"

"Fine."

"Good," Shinichi said, and went back to watching the T.V. A few minutes later, he felt Ran leave her seat beside him and he rolled his eyes and turned to the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"...over to visit Kazuha-chan?" she tried.

Shinichi gave her the Look. "Get back over here."

It's Time!

"Kazuha..." Heiji shrunk away from the red-faced, screaming woman that was known as his wife.

"Don't you dare talk your way out of this one, Hattori Heiji," Kazuha snarled. "Now - " She took a deep breath as she exploded, "WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST YOUR OMAMORI?"

Heiji cowered.

"I can't believe you!" She was seething. "God, Heiji! You know how important that is! Next thing you'll be telling me is that you lost our wedding ring!" She suddenly fell silent as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"No!" Heiji quickly denied the accusation and held up his left hand, where his wedding ring was safely in place. "It's right here, you see?"

Kazuha's relief was only short-lived. And then her anger turned into tears, which made Heiji feel like ripping his insides out. He hated to see her cry. "But how?" she asked, helplessly. "I mean, it's always around your neck, isn't it?"

"Yeah!" Heiji said, rubbing his neck. "It's just - well, I don't know! It was there one minute, and then - and then it was gone the next! I don't know what happened!" He chose not to tell her about the agonizing hours he'd spent searching for it throughout the streets, his office, and the house.

"Oh, Heiji.." Her eyes were red and puffy. "It's just -"

"I know. I'm sorry, okay?" And he truly was - he never said the words unless he absolutely had to.

"Heiji -"

"I know it was important, okay? That was why I always wore it, even though I always told you that I didn't believe in that superstitious nonsense.."

"Heiji -"

"I swear I'll make it up to you somehow." He clenched his hands into fists. He really was such an idiot for losing his omamori. It was his connection with her, after all..

"HEIJI!"

"WHAT?" he snapped. Had his long-winded apology not been enough?

Her eyes were wide and she clutched at the bedsheets. "My water just broke."

Heiji's eyes bulged out. "Oh, crap."

Lost and Found

"School was so much fun today!" Conan rambled on about meeting their new pet fish, and about making new friends, and about how the teacher had told him that he was the smartest kid in class, to which Shinichi had preened and Ran had rolled her eyes.

"Well - I'm glad to hear it," Ran said, and Shinichi bit back a chuckle.

"Hey!" Conan suddenly bent down and picked up something off the street. "Is this an -"

"An omamori?" Ran bent down to her son's level and inspected it. Then she looked up at her husband, "hey, isn't this like Hattori-kun's and Kazuha-chan's?"

Shinichi blinked. "It is, isn't it.. look, it even has a note on it.. 'Come home safe, you idiot!' Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is Hattori's.."

Ran shivered. "Kazuha-chan won't be too happy when she learns that Hattori-kun lost it."

Phone Call

Aoko picked up the ringing phone. "Hello?" she said into the receiver.

"It's Hattori," Heiji said, on the other end. "Kuroba, get over here!"

Aoko suppressed a giggle. "Hattori-kun? It's me."

"Oh." An awkward pause. "Sorry, Aoko-san, but - Kazuha just went into labor, and we're at the hospital, and - and - well, just please come here, will you?"

"She's in labor?" Alarm crept into Aoko's voice. "Of course! We'll be there as soon as we can." And hung up. "Kaito! Get Yukari and I'll get her things! We're going to the hospital!"

"The hospital?" Kaito poked his head out of their room - he was wearing rubber latex gloves to avoid actually coming into contact with Nemo, "what for?"

"Kazuha-chan just went into labor!" came the reply, "we have to be there to calm Hattori-kun down.. he sounded terrible on the phone."

"Oh, did he?" Aoko missed the smirk that crossed her husband's face.

The Second Phone Call

"KUDO!" Shinichi held the phone away from his ear, wincing. Ran turned to him, an eyebrow arched in curiousity.

"You don't have to scream, you know," Shinichi said, slightly annoyed. "What is it?"

"Kazuha's in labor," Heiji hissed, "and I have no idea what to do. I'm just - well, I'm standing in here. And she's breaking all of the fingers in my hand as we speak -" Shinichi cringed as he heard Kazuha's labored scream in the background, "so just get over here NOW."

"Oh." Shinichi blinked. "Yeah. Of course we'll be there."

"What happened?" Ran tilted her head questioningly.

"Kazuha-san is in labor and he wants us to get over there as soon as possible." Shinichi stood up from the couch and rummaged for his keys. "Conan! Let's go!"

At the Hospital

"Aoko-chan!" Ran called, running breathlessly into the hospital, Conan and Shinichi trailing after her. She could see Aoko, Kaito, and Yukari sitting on the cushioned chairs in the waiting room. "How is she?"

Aoko stood up to greet her. "Kazuha-chan's in there," she answered, pointing to the room across the hall, "and I haven't heard any word of her condition. I'm sure she's fine, though."

"I sure hope so," Ran replied as Shinichi and Conan hurried over, "she's two weeks early, but that's not too bad. She was getting rather big though, wasn't she?"

Aoko paused to think. "She was, wasn't she.."

And her eyes narrowed as her husband tried to slink off, unnoticed. "Kaito, what are you doing?"

"Nothing." A cheerful smile, an innocent whistle that would have fooled anyone but Aoko.

"Hand it over," she said, holding out a hand expectantly.

Kaito pouted. "Oh, but Aoko.."

"Give it here." Hand waving in front of his face.

"But -"

"Neh, Yukari," Aoko said, smiling sweetly at their daughter, "what do you think about getting a goldfish for a pet?"

"GAH!" Pointedly ignoring Ran's stifled giggle and Shinichi's pointed smirk, "Take it, take it!"

And deposited a ticking red alarm clock in Aoko's outstretched hand, which read, "This is how much time you have left before Kazuha-san gives birth and your life becomes a living hell."

Aoko sighed. "Oh, Kaito.."

At the Emergency Room

"Breathe, Hattori-san," the doctor told her, patiently. "Breathe, one-two-three, and PUSH!"

Kazuha obeyed, face completely red and looking a mess.

Heiji was too busy staring at his hand - the one Kazuha had been squeezing - and made a face as he took in the odd shade of purple it had turned.

"Just a little bit more," the doctor urged her, "one final push - one, two, three..!"

Heiji stood up and jerked as he heard the sounds of a high-pitched wail... his baby's high-pitched wail...

"Ohh," Kazuha gasped, "is the baby okay? Is it done?"

"He's a boy," the doctor said - and Heiji took this opportunity to stick his tongue out at his panting wife. Kazuha glared and inhaled deeply, "but, why does it still hurt?" she asked, still breathing heavily.

"It hurts?" Heiji turned, alarmed. "What - what is it?"

"Take him, please," the doctor said, handing the baby boy over to a nearby nurse and resuming his position at the foot of the bed, "all right, Hattori-san, one more to go.."

Deathly silence greeted these words.

"Wh - what?" Kazuha asked, breathlessly, and Heiji had turned an unusual shade of white at his words.

"Why, you're having twins," the doctor informed them, furrowing his brow. "Didn't you know?"

"Heiji..." Kazuha hissed, promising pain and revenge in her eyes, "you - you - you!" and was cut off by a contraction.

Heiji shrunk back.

"JACKASS!"

Waiting

"...jackass!" Kazuha's words echoed down the hall.

"Well," Ran said, delicately, "this proves that Kazuha-chan is definitely all right."

"Yeah," Shinichi replied, "but is Hattori?"

At Long Last...

After many hours filled with agonizing pain, Kazuha was resting, eyes closed and breathing deeply. Heiji was holding his baby boy and Ran was holding the baby girl.

"They're beautiful," Aoko commented, leaning over Ran's shoulder to get a look.

"If they're lucky, they'll get her looks and not yours," Kaito told Heiji.

Heiji glared. "I could say the same for Yukari-chan," he retorted.

"I suggest you dip your hands in a bucket of ice," Shinichi broke in, nodding his head towards Heiji's oddly-shaped fingers, "it'll help a lot, trust me."

Heiji stared longingly at his now purple fingers. "I hope so."

"She's awake," Ran announced, and everybody turned towards the bed. "You okay, Kazuha-chan?"

"Mm-hmm," Kazuha answered, and brightened as she saw Ran holding her baby, "oh, can I hold her?"

"You don't need to ask," came the reply as Ran handed Kazuha her daughter.

"Oh, she's beautiful," Kazuha gasped, "Heiji - Heiji, look, she has your eyes.."

"He has your nose," Heiji replied, nudging their baby boy towards her. Amongst their conversation, Aoko murmured something about leaving and the other three followed suit.

"You know what?" Kazuha said as Heiji came closer and sat on the bed, careful to avoid her still weak body, "we were both right! You thought it would be a boy and I thought it would be a girl.."

Heiji smiled. "Yeah." He adjusted the blankets around his son.

"Oh -" Kazuha lifted a hand weakly and brushed it against his fingers. She winced. "Did I do that?"

"It's really not that bad," he said, hiding it from view. By the time their next fight came around, though, he'd be sure to wave it in her face at every opportunity possible.

"Don't lie," she snapped, frowning at him. She reached for his hand and he reluctantly let her see it. She turned over his hand and fingered the scar she'd given him all those years ago. A faded scar.

"It doesn't hurt," he told her, and she smiled at him for it. "By the way -" He reached into his pocket and Kazuha lit up at the sight of the object in his hand, "Conan-kun found this."

"Ohh," his wife breathed, brushing her fingers against the omamori. "Thank god."

Heiji grinned. "I know. I'd have had to face hell from you if I never got it back, huh?"

"Darn right you would have," she declared, and there was a beat of silence as they stared down at their newly born children.

"Hey," she said, intertwining her fingers with his, "um... well, just... thanks."

Heiji arched his eyebrows. "Are you actually thanking me for something?"

Kazuha huffed and glared. "Well, if you don't want my gratitude, then fine!"

Heiji laughed, and Kazuha smiled at the sight of her husband holding his son protectively in his arms, chuckling contentedly. His lips turned up as he gazed at her and their daughter, "I probably don't say this enough - but, I do love you. You know that, don't you?"

Kazuha's smile widened and she leaned up for a kiss. "Glad to hear it," she said.

/the end/

Random Notes: Let's see... of course, the stuffed orange fish that Yukari simply adored was Nemo, from the famed movie, Finding Nemo. Heehee.. I just couldn't resist. Torturing Kaito is just much too fun..

Oh, yesh, and the card that Heiji gives Kazuha on her birthday, the one that says "Out of all the people that drive me crazy, I love you the most." is a real, live card that I saw while looking through the greeting cards at Wal-Mart. xD You should've seen me when I saw it... I just thought, "Good gosh, this is total Heiji/Kazuha material!" and stood there grinning. Ahh.

I promised myself that I'd make all the moments between the three couples even.. but in the end the H/K-ness won out again. xDD

This random ficcie is dedicated, once again, to my dear friend Lyn Jarewo Wors-chan. Consider it as a souvenir from Hawaii, neh?