Title: "Can't Measure Up"

Rating: K

Category: Parody

Author: grissomrocks

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters from CSI. Nor do I own the song, "That Don't Impress Me Much", written by Shania Twain and Mutt Lange, and recorded by Shania Twain. This is a parody of the song.


You're one of those guys who keep themselves apart

You've got being alone down to an art

You know you're a genius – it's hard for me not to hear

You talk about bugs until I want to shed a tear

XXXXXX

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're handsome

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're the very best

Okay, so you think you're Gil Grissom

XXXXXX

You can't measure up

So you have his brains, but do you have his touch

As a CSI, yeah, I think you're alright

But that won't keep me safe on those long, wild, Vegas nights

XXXXXX

You can't measure up

XXXXXX

I never knew a guy with sunglasses in his pocket

And a spare up his sleeve, just in case

And those hands on your hips oughta lock it

'Cause Heaven forbid the sun those eyes should face

XXXXXX

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're handsome

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're the very best

Okay, so you think you're Horatio Caine

XXXXXX

You can't measure up

So you have his cool, but do you have his touch

As a CSI, yeah, I think you're alright

But that won't keep me safe on those hot, steamy, Miami nights

XXXXXX

You can't measure up

XXXXXX

You're one of those guys who likes to connect things tight

You make me see the wrong before you tell me the right

I can't believe you wear that suit every night

You do have more than one, right?

XXXXXX

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're handsome

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're the very best

Okay, so you think you're Mac Taylor

XXXXXX

You can't measure up

So you have his style, but do you have his touch

As a CSI, yeah, I think you're alright

But that won't keep me safe on those cold New York nights

XXXXXX

You can't measure up

You want to be head CSI, but have you got their touch

As a CSI, yeah, I think you're alright

But that won't keep me safe on those wild, unfriendly, nights

You can't measure up

XXXXXX

Okay, so what do you think, you're a level 3 or something

Whatever

You can't measure up