Author's Notes: Not much to say, is there? Summary is pretty straightforward. :P

This is unbeta'd, so forgive me. But I missed Rick and Evy, and needed some O'Connell humor. :P

Baby O'Connell




"Evy, honey, you know I love you, and I will love whatever name you chose for our son . . . except for that one."

"What? Why? What's wrong with the name 'Homer'?"

"Uhm . . . well . . . let me think. Oh, right. Homer, Evy? Homer?"

"Have you ever read 'The Illiad'?"

"Yes, Evy. And it was boring."

"Actually, old mum, O'Connell's right. I slept through it."

"Get out of here, Jonathan!"

"All right, all right, I'm leaving . . . but, for the record, how about the name 'John'? Good, strong name."

"Sorry, Jon. No way."

"I agree with you on this one, Rick."

"Ah, a point for O'Connell!"

"Jonathan . . ."

"Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine – "


" . . ."

"Why do we let him live with us?"

"It was your idea, Evy. Now, back to naming Ricklet."

"Er. . . 'Ricklet'?"

"Yes, 'Ricklet'. As in, you know, mini-Rick? My son, Evy. That thing in your stomach? Here, I can poke it if you want – "

"I know to what you are referring, Rick. But how do you know it isn't an Evylet?"

"Because 'Evylet' doesn't sound half as cool."

"Oh, Lord, you're so . . ."

"Handsome? Charming? Manly? Why, thank you."

"How about Adjo?"


"No, darling, I mean the name 'Adjo'."

"Evy, do you have a cold?"

"Rick, you're just antagonizing me now."

"Yes, well, it's what's going to get done to that poor fetus if we name him after the flu!"

"Rick, 'Adjo' means 'Treasure' in Ancient Egyptian!"

"Tell that to a kindergartener with a vendetta."

"And what, pray tell, will Baby O'Connell do to warrant such treatment from his classmates?"

"I dunno, read from an old book with scary warnings on it and unleash the Closet Monster or something."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. Very funny."

"It's a mastered art."

"Well . . . what about Amenemhêt?"

"Say it three times fast and we'll talk."

"Rick, I want our child's name to have some meaning!"

"Evy, it will . . . but there's a reason no one uses Ancient Egyptian anymore. Mainly, because I can't pronounce my own son's name correctly. Amen….amenam…amenamhit?"

"Fine, fine, what about 'Mmhotep'?

"Evy, what did I just say about Ancient Egyptian?"

"That you couldn't pronounce Amenemhêt. Well, Mmhotep is easy enough."

"Uh, no."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Mmhotep? Imhotep? Ringing any bells?"

"Good point . . . all right then, you pick something."


"Too bland."

"Uh . . . Peter?"

"Not much better, Rick."

"Fine, then. Benjamin."

"You know, I rather like that one . . . but it's not my favorite. Try again, you seem to have all the luck."


"Ugh, I had a boyfriend in college named Thomas. He came to my dorm room drunk one night and tried to eat my towels."

"Eat your towels?"

"They were Egyptian cotton!"

". . . I'm beginning to hate that country. You know this, yes?"

"Rick . . ."

"Fine, fine, baby names. Uh . . . George?"

"You know that you have named all American presidents, right?"

"Hey, Peter and Paul were semi-religion-esque!"

"Oh, really. How about Richard? My father's name was Richard."

"And it's a very good name. . . . But not for my son."

"Well, really, he's my son, too, you know!"

"How about . . ."

"Something historical. And to do with Egypt."

"Right, right, got it. Er . . . not many options, Evy."

"Well . . . what about Antony?"

"Begging to be changed to 'Anatomy'."

"Well, fine, if you'd rather an easy name why don't we call him Alex! Genderless, flat, boring . . ."

"Alex . . ."

"Oh, God – Rick, I was being sarcastic."

"Oh, I know, dear. But I like it. Alex. Alexander."

"But . . ."

"Hey, historical significance. Egypt."

"Well, that's true, but . . ."

"But what? Evy, it doesn't sound like a sneeze, it's easy to pronounce, impossible to tease, no reminders of undead mummies . . . it's perfect!"

"Well . . ."

"Evy? Please?"

"I don't know, Rick. It doesn't seem . . . right."

"You can pick the middle name."

" . . . What?"

"The middle name, it's yours."

"I can choose anything?"


"Well . . . all right, then. Alexander it is. Great. Good. Wonderful. I'll go tell Jon."

"No need, old mum. I've been listening, and I approve! . . . Of course, you can't very well name it 'Alexander' if it's a girl, now can you?"