Setting: None in particular

Sch-warning: Some perverted thoughts courtesy of Roy.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. If I did, then… that would be pretty cool.

Author's Notes: All right, this is a short little fic. I got the inspiration from RWGrimm's fic "Jealous". I'd like to thank her for that.

Love Perverted! Roy

Feedback: Reviews are super awesome and I totally encourage them.

"Sir, it's getting late. Please try to finish your work." 1st Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye pleaded in her standard monotone. There was very little work on her desk but it didn't falter Riza's work effort. 'Hurry up, Colonel. Tonight is the one night I'd actually like to do something other than bathe Black Hayate.' She thought to herself. Once in awhile, Riza liked to go to the bookstore for the latest romance novel. True, she didn't seem the type to like such things, but it was a break from her strict, militant life. She finished a report only to place another in front, continuing on the vicious cycle known as 'doing paper work'.

Her superior officer, Colonel Roy Mustang, however, was quite the opposite. He sat lazily in his chair, his chin resting in the palm of his hand, avoiding the large stacks of paper that currently inhabited his desk. Roy sighed, leading to a yawn. 'How is anyone supposed to have a social life with all the work the military gives? There has to be a loophole out of all this.' He thought miserably. Roy was the sort of man who enjoyed the spoils and luxuries of his position but resented the obligations and responsibility that were attached with it.

Roy glanced at his subordinate who continued to work diligently at her desk. He then began to think thoughts of a more… perverted nature. The colonel had quite a reputation among the ladies and wasn't ashamed to admit it. He wouldn't admit, however, that he lusted after his lieutenant. Roy could make women of all ages swoon at with his lady killer smirk, but the only emotion he managed to evoke from Riza was anger due to his constant laziness. This pleased him on some perverted level. 'If she's like this in the office, imagine in the bedroom!' The pervert in Roy thought enjoyably.

Within his perverted thoughts, Roy managed to have an idea. He turned back to his work, desperately trying not to grin. "Lieutenant," the Colonel began, "may I ask you a question?" Riza sighed, her hand never ceasing to write. "If I answer, will it help you finish your work faster, sir?" She replied. Roy attempted an innocent grin and held up his pointer and middle finger. "Scout's honor," He said simply. Riza rolled her eyes; somehow she doubted that her superior officer was ever a boy scout. But, if it made him work faster…

"Proceed, sir." She stated. Roy turned back to his work and grinned devilishly. "Hawkeye, where did you attend school?" He asked. This surprised Riza; it was most certainly not what she expected the colonel to ask. 'He's up to something, though.' She deduced. It was the only logical explanation. But, seeing no harm in his initial question, she answered, "Northstone's Academy for Girls."

Roy's grip on his pen tightened. '"… For Girls"? Roy, this is, by far, the best conversation you've ever engaged in with Hawkeye.' He thought to himself. For a moment, he regretted not becoming a teacher where he could teach to beautiful, hormonally charged girls all day. But that wasn't his main concern at the moment. "I assume it was a prep school?" He continued with his interrogation.

Riza restrained herself from reaching for her gun. 'Don't be hasty, Riza; the conversation is innocent… so far. There's no harm in him asking about your schooling.' She assured herself. Finishing another report, Riza replied, "If it was a prep school, I wouldn't be here, sir." Roy nodded; that made sense. Prep schools did not mold women for the military.

"How was the testing?"

"As to be expected in a private academy, sir."

"And the teachers?"

"Strict and on task, sir."

"What were some of your extra curricular activities?"

"None. I found they were a distraction from my work, sir."

"And the uniforms?"

Riza's pen came to a halt. In the past, Roy had asked here some peculiar questions and this was just another one he had managed to devise in his head. "What about the uniforms, sir?" She asked curiously. Roy kept his cool and responded, "Describe them if you please."

The lieutenant looked up towards him, clearly not amused. She had discovered his original motive for their conversation and it was, as she expected, perverted. Roy leaned back into his chair, raising his eyebrow at his annoyed subordinate. "You don't understand how much this conversation has kept me on track, lieutenant. See?" He reached towards his desk and held up several finished reports. "All done. Now, what were your uniforms like?"

Riza sighed; at least he was doing his work. She answered his perverted question, "The standard uniform was a white blouse and a green pleated skirt, sir." Roy liked what he heard. He slowly let go of reality as he envisioned his blonde lieutenant out of her blue uniform which was very unflattering towards her figure, in his opinion.

Instead, she was wearing a tight, white blouse, clearly several sizes too small. Accompanying the very revealing top was a green pleated mini skirt that barely touched her mid thigh. She wore white socks that touched her knees and black Mary Jane shoes. Her blonde hair was free from the clip that Roy so loathed. 'If only I could have her dressed like this every day…' His fantasy continued as Roy himself entered, dressed to kill in a white shirt and black tie that showed the muscle that he gained from his years in the military. His black pants fitted him perfectly and, as always, his raven black hair was unkempt. He approached Riza, placing his hands on her waist and puller her closer to him. Roy leaned in, whispering into her ear some very inappropriate things that caused Riza to giggle.

'Since when does Riza Hawkeye giggle?' A voice in his head asked curiously. Roy crinkled his nose. 'This is my fantasy! She'll do whatever the hell I want her to do!' He responded bitterly. The colonel continued his perverted fantasy as he placed Riza on top of his desk while passionately kissing her. He hovered above her, undoing the buttons of her tight blouse as she nibbled at his ear. Roy had managed to open her blouse, revealing her lacy white bra. She held onto his tie and pulled him closer to her before ridding the tie altogether. Riza began her own journey of unbuttoning his shirt as Roy pulled up Riza's already short skirt with both of his hands…


Roy sat up immediately. He glanced towards the direction where the loud noise originated. There sat Riza, the mini skirt maiden of his perverted fantasies, in the awful blue uniform that plagued Roy. Her arm was perfectly straight and her hand held a smoking gun that was pointed a mere inch away from Roy's head. Roy turned around and observed the wall behind him; a bullet was lodged in it. The colonel turned back to Riza and attempted an innocent smirk. "Is there something wrong, Lieutenant?" He asked.

Riza lowered her gun and turned the safety on. "You were sleeping, sir," She replied, placing it back in her holster, "I felt that it was the only adequate method to wake you." She returned to her work, as if the incident never happened.

Roy sighed miserably. 'So much for that.' He thought. When the colonel had his sights set on something, he wouldn't stop until he got it. 'There has to be a way to get her into a skirt…' He pondered, pretending to do his work. Roy glanced at Riza out of the corner of his eye; she neatly fixed her papers and placed them on the corner of her desk. The lieutenant clasped her hands together and sat them in front of her. 'She's done… already?' He thought, surprised. Roy looked at his own work; he had a long way to go. It was here that he noticed that he wasn't the only one dreading his paperwork. Riza had noticed it and sighed, glancing at her watch.

Then, another one of Roy's 'brilliant' ideas came. "Lieutenant, may I ask you another question?" He asked. She looked at him, annoyed. "No," she stated firmly. This did not deter Roy. Instead, he advanced with his question, "If I finish my work before 10:00 pm, will you wear that school uniform for me?"

Riza sighed. She knew her colonel had an infatuation with skirts, but she never realized how great it was until recently. 'Is he really that desperate that he would want me in a skirt?' She thought. The lieutenant was a very beautiful woman but like most women, she didn't find herself very attractive. However, the bookstore closes at 10:30 pm and it was already 9:30 pm. Besides, she doubted Roy would finish his work in thirty minutes. But it was nice to think about, being able to go to the bookstore before heading home. 'The last time I was able to do that was… before I worked for him.' Exasperated, she commented under her breath, "If you finish your work every night at 10:00 pm by the time you're furhur, I'll show up at your front door in that uniform."

Roy completely froze to the point where his pen slipped from his hand, not that he was using it. His mind was in complete shambles but from the mess he managed to determine that there was indeed a God and that He was benevolent and just. Riza realized here that he heard her and immediately regretted it. As she opened her mouth, Roy held up his hand. "What's said has been said," he stated and rose from his seat. He walked over to Riza, who immediately slouched into her seat. He reached for her hand and held it in his own. "And I accept!" He professed and kissed Riza's hand.

The blonde lieutenant blushed several different shades of red before pulling her hand away. "Sir, this is highly inappropriate!" She attempted to say firmly. Roy smiled his infamous lady killer smile and walked back to his desk. "Nonsense, Hawkeye," he began in a cool voice, "it'll be after hours and at my place." Riza felt her cheeks redden. 'Damn him and that smirk!' She thought bitterly.

Then, she witnessed something truly outstanding. Roy sat his desk and began to work meticulously. Riza blinked and shook her head. 'I need to stop getting myself into these messes…'

Well, another fic down! 1795 words. Chyeah! Hehe… this fandom is addicting.

I finally was able to download and listen to "Ame No Hi Wa No Thank You" sung by the Japanese voice actors of Roy Mustang (Toru Ohkawa) and Riza Hawkeye (Michiko Neya). It's totally awesome considering it's a total Royai song. I highly suggest you download it.

I also read an interview with the English voice actors of Edward Elric (Vic Mignogna), Winry Rockbell (Caitlin Glass), and Roy Mustang (Travis Willingham). It was highly entertaining. How entertaining, you ask? There's a synchronized "Whoo!" in it. You know that's gold. I actually met them at AnimeNEXT '05 a couple of months back. They're all super nice AND I got a hug from Vic! I swear, he's the most adorable man ever. Caitlin and Travis were super awesome and Cait started going through my Newtype USA (which all of them signed).

Please review. It really means a lot to me when you do.

Yours truly,