Warnings: Shounen-ai (Daiken) Also there is slight Taichi/Mimi,
Yamato/Sora, Takeru/Hikari. Also a tad bit on the gory side.
The Field Where I Died
My mother always disapproved of the fighting. What was it she always used to say.... Ah yes, I remember now. 'The problem with war is that it does not determine who is right, only who is left.' I can still hear her soft voice ringing in my ears. Needless to say she was not pleased when I enlisted in the army. I had no choice though.
As I sit here in a thicket near the edge of the woods, I shift slightly so I can peer through the branches. A sea of grey clad confederate soldiers covers the land nearly as far as the eye can see. I sigh slightly, as a feeling of dread once again over takes me. I haven't been involved in much fighting. I had just been transferred and now here I was sitting right up front. A few precious hundred yards separating me from the enemy.
I turn my attention back around and look at the ranks of our soldiers. They are my comrades, my brothers in arms. Some are dozing, others are writing letters home, letting their families know how they are doing. In all reality, those letters will probably never leave, and the same holds true for the composers of said letters.
My thoughts are interrupted as a fellow soldier moves to sit by me. He is, by far, my one true friend in all of this. He's my age, with hair the color of midnight and eyes that are a mixture of blue and grey. We've been together ever since boot camp, where we first encountered each other. I don't understand why he joined the army in the first place. He's as smart as they come and he's sitting here in the mud with me, waiting to get shot. His talents could be better used elsewhere instead of the battlefield. Regardless, I am glad he is here by my side. He's the one constant in my life right now. I don't think I have ever met a kinder soul.
We sit in silence and I go back to watching the surroundings. Our commanding officer walks by and we both give him a salute. He is slightly older than us and has had much experience in battle from what I have heard. His hair is the color of chocolate with eyes to match. There is fire that burns in his soul, one that is fueled by courage. He stops a little ways away and begins to converse with three people. One is soldier my age, with blonde hair and sapphire eyes. He's always so optimistic, always so full of hope. I can't pinpoint it, but I swear I have seen someone who looks just like him before....
The other two people the commander is talking with are two nurses, whom are part of the medical unit. The taller of the two blushes slightly as he speaks to her. She is sincere, and is well liked among everyone. The other nurse, has dark brown hair and seems to be enamored with my blonde comrade. If you looked close enough, you could almost see a resemblance between her and the commander. She has this inner light, one that is comforting I think to those whom she treats.
I watch the four of them and smile sadly. They were able to find each other in the midst of all the death. I don't know whether to feel happy or sorry for them. Happy because they found love, or sad that they most likely will not live long enough to watch that love blossom.
I feel something touch my arm and I jump slightly. My friend is staring at me with concerned eyes.
"Are you all right? You seem troubled."
"I'm always troubled," I replied.
"So I've noticed," he said with a small chuckle. "Care to enlighten me as to why?"
I shifted the rifle I held in my arms to a slightly more comfortable position. "I guess I'm wondering if today is the day I'm going to die."
"Why not? Everyone dies, and being in the middle of a war certainly can speed up the process. Is it finally my turn?" I don't know why, but he could always get me to open up, even when the last thing I wanted to do was share.
"I certainly hope not. I would miss you if you were gone. So to that effect, don't go and get yourself killed, all right?"
I smiled slightly. He always knew how to make me smile even if I was in the direst of moods. I don't know why, but nothing else seemed to matter when he was by my side.
Our conversation was cut short as the commander began waking the sleeping soldiers. The time had come now to attack.
My friend and I stood up and began to prepare, we loaded our rifles and took position on the front line. He once again laid his hand on my forearm and gave it a gentle squeeze. I felt chills run up my spine at his touch.
"Stay safe," he whispered.
"You too," I replied.
When everyone was in position, we were given the order to advance. With battle cries we rushed forward, swooping down on the unsuspecting confederate soldiers.
What the hell is wrong with me? I shouldn't be thinking about him like that. It was the third time in as many hours that I caught myself thinking about the keeper of kindness. More specifically, I was thinking about holding him in my arms. I had even had a dream where he and I had kissed. I, Daisuke Motomiya had kissed Ken Ichijouji, my best friend, in my dream. I was infinitely sorry when it came time to wake up. I think what scares me the most is that I have come to realize that I care for him, more that I thought was possible. I think I'm in love with the former digimon emperor.
"Huh??" I asked, startled out of my train or thought.
"Where were you, Mars? We've been trying to get your attention for, like, ten minutes."
"I'm sorry Miyako, I guess I was just day dreaming."
"This really isn't the time for that," Takeru chimed in. "We all need to stay focused for the upcoming battle."
Takeru was right, as much as I hate to admit it. We were undergoing final preparations before the twelve or us went into the digiworld. This was to be the battle to end all battles. The one that decided the fate of both the digital world and earth.
"I'm sure Daisuke is more than ready to face what ever Arukenimon and Mummymon have in store for us," Ken said quietly.
I gave him a small smile of gratitude. He always came to my rescue, stood up for me even when I was wrong. That's the hallmark of a true friend, because anybody will side with you when you are right.
"I'm concerned." Iori spoke up. "They have a whole army of evil digimon. We are greatly outnumbered."
"We can handle it," Taichi replied, confident as always. "Are we all ready to go?"
Everyone nodded yes, except for me. Ken looked at me, suddenly concerned.
"All right then, let's go."
"Taichi, you and the others go on ahead. I seem to have left my D3 at my house. Daisuke, will you come with me to get it?"
Taichi rolled his eyes and was about to remark when Mimi interrupted him. "Not a problem Ken. We'll see you in the digital world," she said as she took Tai by the arm and dragged him towards a computer. Moments later, 10 of the digidestined and their digimon were gone.
I arched my eyebrow at him. "What was that nonsense about forgetting your D3? I saw you put it in your pocket when I stopped by to pick you up this morning."
"I know. I wanted to talk to you before we went into battle. You've seemed a little distant lately and I want to know what's bothering you."
"It's nothing," I said, trying to make it sound like there was nothing bothering me.
"Do you not want to fight?"
"No, that's not it."
"Are you afraid?"
I looked at him, my eyes wide. Damn him and his insight sometimes. Yes, I was afraid, but not of the battle itself. I was afraid of what these new found feelings were going to do to me. Would Ken be able to tell when Stingmon and Ex-Veemon digivolved together? The first time that happened, I could feel his heart beat as well as my own. I think it was at that exact moment that I fell in love with him.
"I'm not afraid in the sense that you're thinking," I said softly, avoiding his eyes.
"Dai, you know you can tell me anything right?"
God, how I wanted to. I would have liked nothing more than to tell him that I'm living solely for him. Sometimes I think if I hadn't found him, I would have left this world long ago.
"I know," I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. Part of me couldn't believe that as the keeper of both courage and friendship, I had this tough a time opening up to my best friend. Another part of me, the part which won, willed me to stay silent.
He stepped forward and gave me a hug. I was startled by his actions, but it wasn't long before I found myself returning it. When he let go, I looked at him with questioning eyes.
"What was that for?"
"You looked like you could use one. Also, because I don't know what this battle will bring, I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me." He looked as if he was going to say more, but remained silent.
I smiled slightly as I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my D3. He did the same.
Seconds before we were sucked into the computer he said to me, "Stay safe, Daisuke."
"You too, Ken," I replied as we went off to face our destiny.
I wasn't kidding when I had said I hadn't been involved in much fighting. Personally, I'm surprised I didn't tuck tail and run away as the first volley of gun fire went over our heads. In my previous battle experience, I had always been far away from the front lines. Now here I was right in the thick of things.
It was horrible. Simply and utterly horrible. I saw soldiers from both our side and theirs meet grisly deaths right and left. I had run out and taken cover behind a falling down stone wall. I fell into the mantra of loading my gun and then firing it. Truth be told I was not really aiming.
I had lost sight of my friend, and I silently prayed for his safety. As I continued firing, I couldn't help but take in the scene around me.
I saw one confederate soldier just standing stock still in the middle of all the fighting going on around him. He was shaking so bad he couldn't even fire his weapon. He was tall, thin and had blue hair and glasses. He looked as if he belonged anywhere else except here. Moments later, one of the union soldiers walked up behind the poor boy and put a bayonet through his back. I saw in his eyes shock and fear, before they went blank. His form crumpled to the ground in a heap. As he fell his body twisted and I could make out something written on the back of his jacket. 'Ole Reliable.
What next caught my view was my blonde haired comrade. He appeared to be locked in some sort of mortal combat with a soldier from the other side. They were both covered in blood, probably their own as well as each other's. I watched as he dropped his gun, probably out of ammunition, and drew his sword. The confederate soldier was busy trying to reload his revolver as my comrade charged. He had poor timing though because just as his sword pierced through his enemy's hide, the other brought the gun around and fired point blank at his chest. They both fell backwards from the respective blows. As the confederate soldier fell, the hat he was wearing came loose. I felt my jaw drop as I saw his face. He looked exactly like my comrade, except for a few years older. He reminded me of a friend I used to have, before all the troubles began. Those two, they could have been brothers. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone running towards them. It was a confederate nurse, whose red hair and auburn eyes matched the blood that covered her clothing. She feel to her knees beside the grey soldier. She was crying, sobbing, desperately trying to put pressure to the wound. It was obvious that she loved him, I could see it in her eyes. Her efforts would do no good though, I'm sad to say. My young, blonde companion has stopped moving now. It wouldn't be long before his 'brother' joined him.
An explosion, probably from a cannon ball, blocked my view momentarily. When all the dust cleared, I saw the girl slumped over the body of her love. She was dead now as well, her body torn completely in half.
The fighting went on for what seemed like forever. I felt a little part of my soul die each time I witnessed a death. God, there was so much carnage.
I'm not sure how it happened, but slowly the sounds of gun fire became less and less. Apparently we had managed to defeat the confederates and drive them away. Slowly, I stood up from my position and looked around. Bodies, bodies as far as the eye can see. Some were moving, others decidedly were not.
I began moving, checking the fallen for signs of life. I also was hoping to catch a glimpse of my friend. As I walked, I came across my commander. He was dead as well, as the bullet hole between his eyes would attest to. Nearby, there was a red headed confederate soldier. He was missing both of his legs as well as having been shot several times in the chest. I can't explain it, but I feel as if I know him, though I am positive we have never meet. His eyes, which once held so much knowledge, were now nothing more than empty windows for a body who could no longer hold his soul.
I continued my search among the fallen. I saw a sight that nearly broke my heart. Another young confederate nurse was kneeling and weeping beside the body of a young boy. Good lord, he had dark hair and to be a couple of years younger than I was. He had been decapitated, probably by a sword or a bayonet. The lavender haired girl looked up at me with tears running down her cheeks. I think maybe she thought I was going to hurt her. I would never dream of it though.
"I'm sorry," I whispered as I continued on my way.
I stared at the ground while I walked, mostly to avoid stepping on anyone. The soil that was once brown was now covered with blood.
I guess I wasn't paying that much attention when I suddenly pitched forward and hit the ground. Groaning slightly I looked back to see whom or what I had tripped over. My blood ran cold as I saw my friend lying there, gripping onto my boot. I scrambled over to his side. It was then I saw the gapping hole in his side, his blood adding to that which flowed all around us.
He gave me a weak smile. "Looks like I should have taken my own advice. I was foolish and now I'm dying."
"You're not dying. I'm not going to let you." I removed my jacket and pressed it to his side. He winced at the pressure.
"You don't always need to be brave, you know." His eyes were half closed and he looked so pale.
I felt tears forming at the corners of my eyes. "I don't know how else to be." My voice broke slightly. "Please," I pleaded, "please don't leave me."
"Promise me something?"
"In our next life, don't let me make...the same mistake...again..."
"What mistake? Getting shot?"
"No....the mistake of not....telling you....that I love you....sooner. I'm sorry...." He closed his eyes and passed from this world into the next, leaving me alone.
It wasn't fair. I loved him, more than I was willing to admit, and he died telling me that he loved me too. I never heard the crack of the gunshot, only an immense physical pain emanating from my chest.
I looked down and watched as crimson stained my blue uniform, turning it to a dark shade of purple. I've been shot. I wonder briefly if it was the enemy, or a ricochet, or just an accident. I feel myself falling, but there isn't anything I can do about it.
I'm staring at my friend, he looks so very peaceful. Maybe I'm lucky that he's the last thing I'll get to see. My words seem prophetic now, that today is the day I'll die.
"Until we meet again," I whisper as I close my eyes.
It's funny, as I stand here while fighting rages on around me, I can't help but get this sense of deja-vu. As our digimon digivolve together, I once again can both hear and feel Ken's heart beat, and know that my heart beats only for him.
Digimon versus digimon, it waged on. Both members from our side and theirs were disappearing, drained of their energy. Wargreymon, Rosemon, and HerculesKabuterimon had all been deleted, but taking many of the enemy with them.
We are so outnumbered, but everyone presses on undaunted. Would you continue to fight a battle you knew you would most likely lose?
I watched Paildramon take on a Ladydevimon. She threw him aside and turned her beady little eyes on Ken. She smiled, one that was extremely unpleasant. Her arm formed into a long, pointed spear and she flew towards him. Maybe if she got rid of Ken, our digimon would no longer be able to fight.
I couldn't let him die. Not again.
I ran and reached him just as the spear was about to hit home. I pushed out of the way, and took the hit myself. Paildramon recovered and tackled the evil digimon. The spear broke off, a large portion still embedded in my chest.
Ken scrambled to my side, his eyes wide with fear and panic.
Once again, this feels familiar. I just can't seem to shake it, but it's like we've been in this situation before.
"Why??" his voice was filled with panic. "It was supposed to be me, Daisuke. Me! You don't deserve this.... It should be me lying there...."
I look into my beloved's eyes, they were so filled with fear. I began to recall words from long ago. "No....the mistake of not....telling you....that I love you....sooner."
"I love you, Ken. That's why I did it." I glanced down and watched my dark, red blood begin to pool around me.
"W-what?" I caught him by surprise.
"I should have said something. I'm sorry... God, it feels like history is repeating itself."
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything either," he replied, tears now falling. "I can't remember I time I didn't love you. And because of my damn insecurities and fears, I kept silent."
I suddenly couldn't feel anymore pain from my wound, or at all for that matter. I knew that my time was growing short.
"I wish I could....have stayed longer...."
He laced his fingers with mine and leaned down close to my face. His lips briefly brushed against mine. He tasted sweet, like honey.
"Will you wait for me, in our next life?" he asked as he pulled away.
"Always..." I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. His face was once again the last thing I saw and the sound of his weeping was the last thing I heard.
A boy with hair the color of midnight wept over the body of his dearly
departed beloved. The ground was once again stained red, in the field
where he died.
More Author's Notes: Questions? Comments? Concerns? Until next time, everyone.
"Time passes in moments. Moments which, rushing past us, define the
path of a life even as they fix upon its end. How rarely do we stop to
examine that path? To see the reasons why all things happen. To consider
whether the path we have taken is of our own making, or simply one into
which we've drifted with eyes closed. But what if we were to stop? To take
stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we see the endless
forks in the roads that shape our lives? And... seeing the choices we've
made... choose another path?"