I got an idea for this on vacation, so I decided; why not turn it into a one shot? No one's ever done anything like it before, and I don't feel like making a whole story about it, so a one shot is perfect! Anyway, enjoy.
O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O
It was her decision. It hadn't been a very smart one, but it was hers. When she made that decision, she hadn't realized how many people she was going affect by it. Maybe if she had thought about that first, she wouldn't have done it. But she did, and there was nothing she could've have changed about that. But let's go back and see what really happened that day; 6 years into the past…
"Nice job, Raven. It's always good to almost kill someone during a fight." Beast Boy spat angrily.
Raven sat on the couch, with her head in her hands. She hadn't meant to do it. It just – well – happened. Raven felt horribly about it.
Raven looked over at him, but someone stood in front of her, almost like they were protecting her. "Beast Boy, just leave her alone. This was an accident. No one is to blame for what happened," Robin said defensively.
Raven froze. Robin was sticking up for her? She'd expected him to be the angriest. Robin looked down at the distraught girl. He went and sat down next to her. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder, almost as if he understood. When she looked at him, he gave her a reassuring smile.
The fight was supposed to be like a normal one. Slade had come back to try and steal new weapons from Wayne Industries, but the Titans met him there.
They started to fight his robotic minions, well, all except raven. None of them had gone near her, while they all piled on the other four.
She was about to go over when she heard the chilling voice behind her. "Looks like everyone is scared of you now."
Raven spun around angrily. Slade looked at her as leaned on a pillar. "What do you want?" she hissed through gritted teeth.
He stood up. "Raven, haven't you noticed how scared the citizens of the town are, or how scared the people you fight are of you? Have you noticed how frightened your friends are?" Slade asked.
Raven repeated, "What do you want?"
"Think about it. They don't know that this is all over. You haven't told them. Why, all this could happen again tomorrow! Do you think your friends will stick by you then? No, they'll be running in fear from you, knowing that they have the ability to kill them!" Slade added, beginning to play with the insecurity.
"Shut up!" Raven yelled.
"Why? Because you know that I'm right? They all flee form you sooner or later… even the one who saved you when you were a child again," he whispered.
Raven seethed. Raven looked around for the biggest piece of machinery she could find. She lifted it, and held it above his head. "Any last words?"
"Actually, now would be a good time for my plan to go into action," he said, his voice calm.
Raven was confused until she felt a hand slip over her eyes, and a sharp object pushed against her neck.
"Drop it," Slade said. Raven stayed still. "I said…DROP IT!" Slade persisted. "You will drop that thing right now if you don't want to die," he finished.
But Raven stood there. "Fine…you leave me no choice," Slade sighed. She felt the object begin to move ever so slow, slicing through her skin. She knew she was going to die. But then, Raven heard a cry and the robot was pulled away from her. She was thrown backwards, flying onto the ground, for the robot had pulled her some ways. The machinery dropped out of her hold as the world around began to spin until it became black.
O - O - O - O - O -
"Raven," she heard someone say. Her head was killing her. She opened her eyes, not prepared for the bright light. Robin faced her. He helped her gently into a sitting position.
"Are you okay? You scared us there for a moment," he said to her. Everything came back to her slowly as she placed her hand over the cut on her neck.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Well, after you fainted, Slade ran. He didn't get the weapon, but he did get away," Robin said, trying to hide his anger.
"Were you the one the hit the robot away?" she asked, all ready knowing the answer.
"Yeah," he said nodding.
"But, how did you know I was in trouble?" she asked, knowing that he was still fighting before she talked, well, argued with Slade.
"Actually, I'm not even really sure about that. I just had this feeling in my stomach. I saw you in trouble, and I went crazy," he mumbled, laughing nervously. She gave him a small smile.
"Raven, there is one other thing. I really didn't want to be the one to tell you this…but when you collapsed, the large box you were holding fell. It hit Starfire," he said, trying not to face her.
Raven stopped dead. She felt her heart stop beating. She tried to talk, but nothing came out. Robin seemed to notice this.
"She's all right; Cyborg's assured me of that. Right now, she's just unconscious. We have to get home though," he said. She nodded, not really with it.
Robin helped her up, and she began to walk, but she soon tumbled over. Robin grabbed her before she fell. He pulled her into his arms and walked towards the car. He slid her into the front seat before he climbed into the back with Beast boy. Cyborg then laid Starfire across them and got into the drivers seat.
The ride home was silent. When they arrived home, Cyborg took Starfire to the medical room, while Robin, Raven, and Beast Boy went to the man room, where all the fighting began.
Robin looked at Raven. She was a mess, for she was beating herself up for this. Cyborg walked in. "She just has a minor concussion. She's up, and she'll be out here soon," he said with a weak smile on his face.
Raven's eyes opened widely. She couldn't face Starfire now. She got up quietly, and walked out. He'd talk to her, but he thought she should be alnoe for now.
Raven walked in and laid on her bed staring up at the ceiling. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She then closed her eyes. The next thing she knew, she was asleep.
A knock on her door jolted her out of it. She woke up and looked around perplexed. She got up and answered the door.
"Are you okay?" Robin said, looking at her messy hair.
"Oh, I fell asleep," Raven said, running a hand through her hair.
"Listen. About what happened today…" Robin said.
"It's nothing," Raven interrupted.
"No, it's not. Raven, I'm worried about you," he said concerned.
"Why? I'm a big girl," Raven questioned.
"I know that. I'm afraid of what you'll do to yourself. You don't take guilt well," Robin said.
"Robin, I thank you for distressing about me, but I need some time to myself to regain my composure. I'll be down later," she said, half- smiling.
"If you insist," Robin said before he walked away.
Raven walked back into her room and pulled her mirror out. Before she knew it, she was in Nevermore.
O - O - O - O - O -
Raven had to get out of Nevermore. She knew Knowledge and Happiness were trying to help her, but Depression and Guilt were making her feel even worse. She got out of the world that held her feelings. She then walked out of her room and towards the main room. The doors were open and she heard talking.
She froze and stood at the edge of the door when she heard her name.
"Raven, how could she do such a thing!" Beast boy yelled.
"Beast Boy's got a point, she could've held on a little longer," Cyborg admitted.
"Guys, she passed out from hitting her head. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine," Robin said.
"Were you the one who dropped the box? No, it was Raven. It was Raven's fault," Beast Boy articulated.
"I do not know how Friend Raven could do such a thing. Have I done something wrong to upset her?" Starfire questioned meekly.
"No Star, it was Raven who did something wrong," Cyborg said.
"We should've just dumped her when we learned about the prophecy." Beast boy muttered.
Raven had heard enough. She walked out into the light. Her eyes burned with tears, but she just stood there for a moment, letting it register with them that she had heard all they had just said.
She swallowed and said, "Thank you," before she ran out. She ran up to her room, hearing Robin pursue her, but she didn't care. She slammed the door and locked it.
"Raven, open the door! Open it!" Robin yelled. Raven shook her head, knowing though, that he wouldn't see it. She pulled the long sword down from the mount that it hung on upon her wall.
"Raven, let me in!" Robin shouted as he banged on the door. But Raven still did not listen. Something in her mind had snapped.
She placed the blade on her wrist. "I'm sorry Robin, but I have to do this." Robin, no matter how many time he screamed, she wouldn't open it.
He ran and hit the button that undid all the locks in the house. But by the time he got it open, it was too late.
O - O - O - O - O -
Raven knew she was dead. But she didn't know where she was going know. When she opened her eyes she found herself in what looked like a red room. She looked around before she heard a voice ring out through the silence.
"I always knew you were a quitter."
Raven turned and saw Terra, sitting on a couch filing her nails. "Wait, where am I?" she asked.
"I don't know. Where are you? You're not in Hell, but you couldn't go to Heaven," Terra said, standing up.
"Why not?" she said defensively.
"Raven, you killed someone! You can't go to heaven if you kill!"
"I didn't kill Starfire!"
"I'm not talking about Starfire. You killed yourself. You murdered," Terra said.
"But I didn't kill Starfire…" Raven protested.
Terra rolled her eyes as she stood up. "I'm not talking about Starfire, I'm talking about you. You murdered yourself," Terra pointed out.
Raven thought for a minute. "I had to do it," was all she said.
"Why? Because you couldn't handle the anger they were pointing at you?" Terra asked.
"I- just had to do it. They could've have suffered again because of me," Raven mumbled.
"Raven, they're suffering now more than you can possibly imagine. You know, I was looking at there lives now. You've been dead for 6 years, just in darkness, not in heaven or hell. But what you did to them by killing yourself, I thought you needed to see it for yourself," she said.
Raven looked down at herself. She wasn't, you know, rotting or anything, but she didn't look like she was fifteen anymore. "Why do I look like this?" Raven questioned. She had long dark purple hair, and was wearing a black tank top with a purple skirt and black heeled boots.
"That's what you were going to look like when you were 21. Look at me. I've been in this place for almost 7 years, and I've watched myself age. I've been here ever since I was turned to stone," she said.
Raven looked at her. She had cropped blonde hair and was wearing a red shirt with black capris.
"But enough of this. I'm going to show you each of the ex- titans, and what they're like today," terra said, pulling Raven to her feet.
She grabbed Raven's hand and closed her eyes. There was a large flash of white light, and then they were gone.
When they landed, they were back in Jump city. The town was ripped apart, with robots marching through the streets. "He did it?" Raven inquired.
"Yeah. Slade took over soon after the titans broke apart. You guys were the only ones who had the capability of stopping him," Terra muttered.
They began to walk. "Wait, if you could do that, then why are you trapped in that place?" Raven asked.
"I can leave for only a few hours before I'm pulled back there," she said, dropping her head.
Raven nodded as they began to walk in silence. They walked until they approached a dimly lit dirty alleyway. "First stop," Terra said, walking down the alley.
Raven felt her heart jump as she saw the shape shifter standing at the end, talking to a gruffly looking man.
"It's 55 dollars per half ounce, take it or leave it," Gar said in a low voice. The man wrapped his hand around Gar's neck and threw him against the wall. "Okay, okay, 15 dollars instead of 55!" Gar shrieked.
The man dropped him and pulled out a wad of cash. Gar handed him the Ziploc bag filled with white powder as the man threw the bills at him.
When the man left, Raven got a good look at Gar. He was in an oversized black ratty coat. His hair was dirty and his lacked the happiness they had once had.
"He became a drug dealer after he failed as Changeling. After he lost his home, he tried to reach the others, but they were no where to be found," Terra said. Raven could recognize the sadness in her voice.
Terra began to walk away stiffly. Raven gave one last look to the young man before she turned her back on him.
"Do you still love him?" Raven asked softly.
"Of course I do. I never did stop. Helping Slade was one of the worst things I ever did, and I'll always regret it. I had a home and friends for the first time, and I ran, all because I was scared," she said upset.
Raven knew she was hurting, so she decided to leave the matter alone for now. "How come he didn't see us?" Raven asked.
"We don't exist anymore. If you don't exist, you can't be seen," Terra answered shortly.
After a little ways of walking, terra said to Raven, "How does it feel?"
"What do mean by 'How does it feel?'?"
"How does it feel to know that you, just by killing yourself, made your friend's lives spiral downwards?" Terra posed.
"Well, I guess it makes me feel like a quitter. I ruined their lives because I couldn't handle my self anymore. I didn't want to put them in danger after all thy helped me with, so I just gave up," Raven admitted.
"Funny. Sounds like we have a lot in common," Terra said, stopped in front of what looked like the destroyed "T".
"Come on, there's someone I'd like you to see," Terra said as she motioned for Raven to follow her inside.
The climbed the stairs into the main room. In the small glimmer of light, Raven saw the familiar design of the half- robot.
Terra and she walked in slowly. Vic sat on the couch alone. The blue glow that once lit up his robot parts now was dark.
"What happened?" Raven asked, feeling another pang of guilt hit her hard.
"When the others left, Vic got the tower. But he didn't have enough money to pay the bills. He lost everything, especially his battery re- charger. So now all he is is a weak half- human," Terra told her. (I know in the show he loses everything when the battery dies, but I changed it a little)
Raven walked up to him. He had large bags under his eyes, and his skin seemed kind of droopy.
Raven was beginning to become upset. But there were still two left that she was supposed to see. "Well, that's two down," Terra said. Raven frowned.
They ended up at a brightly lit part of the city. Woman dressed scantily walked up down the road, while men came up in there cars and handed them money before they got in.
"No way," Raven said shaking her head.
"Yeah, she ended up here," Terra said, answering Raven's question.
Terra walked down the sidewalk until they reached the redhead. Starfire walked up the street with a sad look on her face.
"She became like these girls when a friend of hers told her she could get money this way. But she doesn't get that much money because she has to keep paying to stay in a cheap apartment."
Raven looked at her. Her long red hair was pulled in a high ponytail, while she wore an extremely short green dress and white boot that went up to mid- thigh.
Raven couldn't stand it anymore. "I've seen enough of this," she said, leaving the area. She couldn't stand watching the alien princess be like that after all that she could have done.
Terra followed her. "Only one left. This one is the worst, though," Terra announced.
Raven stopped dead in her tracks. "Richard," she whispered to herself.
O - O - O - O - O -
"This is impossible. Richard can't be in there!" Raven exclaimed. Terra shrugged. Raven looked up at the entrance sign. It said "Jump City's Institution for the Mentally Insane".
Raven couldn't believe her eyes. Richard was the one that was supposed to succeed the best out of them. He was going to be an idol as Nightwing. She was going to be in the asylum.
Terra walked in. Raven took a deep breath before she strode in after her. The place looked as if a tornado had struck it. The papers were thrown everywhere. A few nurses, who looked like they really didn't want to be there were picking them up.
Terra kept walking, like this stuff around her didn't bother her. Terra walked to a room numbered 318. On the door was a sign that said "proceed at your own cause. Patient 318 is loose cannon."
Terra slipped her hand onto the doorknob and twisted it. Raven mentally prepared herself for what was behind this door.
The two girls stepped into the white padded room. White lights above them hummed above them.
Raven then saw him. Richard was sitting in a corner in what looked like a white shirt and white pants. His black hair was long now.
But thing that sent chills up her spine was his eyes. His blue eyes were like ice; there was nothing behind them.
Terra stood back as Raven walked up to him. Raven walked slowly. Richard had his head up against the wall staring at the ceiling. It was then the Raven realized that the shirt was a strait jacket.
Raven crouched down beside him. She jumped as he started to talk to himself.
"I'm waiting for her. She's going to come back. I know she will. She's won't leave me. Never again. She knows I'm alone," he muttered.
Raven turned to Terra. "Who's 'she'?" Raven worried.
"You're 'she'. You may never have noticed this, but Richard was in love you, Raven."
"what? But I thought he loved Starfire?" Raven said confused.
"He loved you, and I think you know that you really liked him too. When he found you dead that day, something in his mind just snapped. He lost everything idea of reality he had ever had. He doesn't know you're actually dead. He's been waiting for you to come back for the past 6 years in the asylum the other three put him in before they broke apart," Terra said to her.
Raven couldn't hold it back. She placed her head into hand and began to cry. "I'm sorry. I never should've done this. I've hurt so many people," she cried. The things that were coming wouldn't make any sense to her for a while.
A light blue portal seemed to open in the wall and pulled both Terra and Raven through it. The next thing Raven knew was she back in the present alive. She was facing Robin at the door. Her head began to pound. Robin looked at her strangely. "Raven, what's wrong?" he aksed her. She then collapsed into his arms.
When Raven regained consciousness, Beast Boy, Terra, Starfire were sitting in the chairs against he wall, while Robin was next to her and Cyborg was standing above her.
Cyborg was the first one who realized that she was awake. "Good morning!" he said.
She smiled, but then it hit her that Terra was in here. "Terra? But how?" she said.
Terra smiled. "She came to the door today. That's all we know," Cyborg said.
Beast boy stood up. "Raven, listen, I'm sorry that I blamed you for what happened to Starfire. I know it was no one's fault except Slade's," he admitted embarrassed.
Raven smiled at him. Starfire walked up and gave her a bone-crushing hug. Raven hugged her back, knowing that Star realized that it wasn't Raven's fault.
Cyborg said, "Everything looks to be okay. You just passed out from over exhaustion," Cyborg said before he smiled at her and muttered something about the car. That left Raven, Robin and Terra.
"Robin, can you give me and Raven a minute alone? Then you can spend as much time as you want with her," Terra asked.
Robin looked at Raven, who nodded. "Okay, just don't kill each other," he said.
He closed the door behind him. Raven sat up quickly. "Do you remember any of that?" Terra asked.
Raven nodded. "How did we get here?" She asked.
"I don't know that. Maybe since we made mistakes and realized that we made mistakes, but we were forgiven for them?" Terra said.
"There is one thing I want to say to you…thank you, Terra. You truly made me realize that I'm not alone in this world. But mostly that other people have it just as hard," she said.
"Huh?" Terra questioned. She really didn't understand what Raven was babbling about.
"We really are alike. We can't control our powers, we made a huge mistake, and we both admitted it," she said.
"You know, Raven, you're not a bad person after all," Terra confessed.
"Terra, neither are you," Raven said as she smiled.
Terra gave her thumbs-up as she walked out. A moment later, Robin walked in.
"What'd Terra want to tell you?" Robin asked.
"When did you become so nosy?" Raven said, trying not to smile but failing miserably. Robin blushed. He stood near the doorway saying back and forth.
Robin cleared his throat as Raven thought of how to put this. They both then opened their mouths and said "Is there something you want to tell me?"
They laughed when they realized they were thinking the same things. "Raven, the thing is, is, well, I like you…more than a friend," Robin mumbled, clearly uncomfortable.
Raven smiled. "It's okay Robin. I was about to say the same thing."
Robin's face lightened up. "Really?" Raven nodded. Robin smiled. He quickly shut the door. Terra, who was standing outside smiled to her as she walked away from the door.
O - O - O - O - O -
Well, how was that? I thought it was a little bit shaky, but I think it turned out pretty okay. The ending was really bumpy but the rest was pretty good. Yeah, that's me rambling on and on. Sorry. Just stop me and tell me what you thought. Please? I love to hear from you.