Kratos, and Kittens, and Catnip, Oh My!

A/N: Yes, yes, I know. Anyone who's read 'A Battle to be Fought' is probably yelling at the computer screen, wondering why I've posted a new story, instead of updating that one. Well, I have been having MAJOR writer's block, so I hoped this story might somehow give me an idea.


Chapter 1:Kratos, and Kittens, and Catnip, Oh My!


"So I'll be able to warp down to Symphonia soon?" A man asked, his auburn hair flicking back and forth as he paced around behind the chair of a half elf, who was hardly restraining himself from rolling his eyes.

"Yes!" Yuan exclaimed, spinning around in his chair and sighing. "I'm going to stay up here though."

Kratos looked up. "Uh? Why?" He asked, chances were, it would be several years before Derris-Kharlan came close enough for anyone to warp, probably.

"Yes…unlike you, I don't really have anyone to see down there. Not to mention you've always been the one who takes risks." Yuan shrugged and spun back around in his chair, whether he had to check the screen, or if he just enjoyed spinning around was a mystery, for he quickly turned back around to face Kratos, who was eyeing him warily, "Risks? Elaborate." It wasn't a request, it was a demand.

"Well, due to the distance, when you get down there, your DNA may be temporarily changed." Yuan explained casually.

"But only temporarily, right?" Kratos asked, looking significantly calmer.

"Of course, I wouldn't do this if you were going to get zapped into a giraffe for the rest of your life, would I?" Yuan asked, sounding insulted.

"I've always thought you'd be tempted." Kratos said, walking over to the blue warp in the center of the room. "I'm ready when you are." He decided.

Yuan smiled. "I guess I'll see you later then." The half elf patted Kratos' shoulder, then flipped a switch.

As Kratos faded away, he waved at Yuan, for several seconds he saw nothing, but felt a tremendous force on his chest. The pressure increased, until he blacked out.

Kratos groaned inwardly and opened one eye. He quickly opened both and looked around. He was in Iselia, and it was huge! The houses appeared ten times bigger, and the people seemed like giants. 'What the hell?' He raised a hand to his face and yelped. It was a paw…a tiny, auburn PAW. "NO!" He exclaimed, though it came out as a frightened meow.

After five minutes of darting around people's legs, Kratos looked into the pond outside Raine and Genis Sage's home. A tiny, fuzzy face stared back at him, complete with huge, pointed ears.

He was a kitten.

His fur was the same auburn color as his hair, and he could only tell it was him by the large tuft of fur between his two ears that covered one of his eyes. "This can't be happening!" He cried.

Inside the house, Genis Sage was reading a book when a loud squall came from outside the door.

The young half elf grabbed his kendama and hesitantly opened the door and stepped out, spotting a kitten several feet in front of him, staring into the water in shock. "Oh! Wow, a kitten!" he exclaimed.

Kratos heart sank and he whirled around, only to get scooped into the arms of Genis. "Ah! Let me go!" he mewed.

"It's okay!" Genis cooed, scratching the once-angel behind his large ears.

"Let me go—wow…" Kratos blinked as his head was scratched. "That doesn't really feel too bad." To his horror an odd sound erupted from his throat. He was purring. Purring! "No! I'm not a cat! I. Am. Not. A. Cat!" he continued arguing with himself as the purring grew louder.

Genis snapped him out of it. "Y'know, you remind me of someone, especially that floppy fur over your eye!" The half elf laughed while Kratos groaned inwardly. "I am Kratos!" he roared, but it only came out as a loud meow. "I think I'll call you Fluffy!" Genis laughed, walking out of the village and towards Dirk's house.

Five minutes later Genis burst through the door and called for Lloyd. The Eternal Swordsman barreled downstairs and saw the kitten. "Hey, cool cat! It looks just like Kratos!" He poked the tuft of fur hiding the cat's eye.

"Will no one notice that maybe this IS ME?" Kratos meowed angrily, accidentally scratching Genis' hand. The half elf yelped and threw Kratos into the air. He twisted around midair and landed on his feet, sitting down calmly and eyeing the two friends coldly, using his trademark glare.

Genis bent down to pick him up and Kratos leapt backwards, looking quite amused. Genis tried again and Kratos scooted out the door and right into Noishe's foot. "Noishe!" he yelled happily, hoping the protozoan might recognize him. "Can animals understand each other?" He wondered aloud.

"Who are you?" Kratos jumped and looked up at Noishe in amazement. "Why are you acting like you know me?" Kratos listened carefully and was startled to find that Noishe was, in fact, speaking in barks and whines.

"I'm Kratos!" The kitten claimed.

"Right. In that case, what did you, Yuan, Mithos and Martel always do?" Noishe glared down at Kratos who stared back coldly.

"Everyday we would wake up, get breakfast, walk until sunset, then Mithos and I would train, Yuan and Martel would go for a walk, and you would nap." He claimed coolly.

Noishe's eyes widened and he jumped around happily. "You're a cat! A kitten! You can't laugh at ME anymore, can you?"

Kratos sighed, and to Genis and Lloyd's shock, as they had watched the two animals hissing, whining and meowing at eachother, he clambered onto Noishe's head, leaning against one of the 'dog's' massive ears.

"Fluffy! What're you doing?" Genis demanded, running over while Noishe panted with laughter. "Fluffy?" He asked, staring at Kratos, who, if he didn't have fur, would be blushing crimson. "Shut up!"

After another quick argument with Noishe, Kratos allowed himself to be scooped into the arms of Genis. "I'll see you later, Lloyd!" Genis announced.

"Hey, Genis! Here!" Lloyd darted into the house and returned with a small, knitted ball. "I once took care of a cat for a while, and they didn't take this." He explained while Noishe returned to his pen.

"What is it?" Genis asked, taking the ball and observing it.

"catnip!" Lloyd laughed.

Kratos nearly choked on his breath. "Catnip?" He shook his head in disbelief while Genis took him back to his house. 'I wonder where Raine is?' he wondered, walking around the house and sniffing at a vase. His eyes then landed on the catnip ball. The seraphim kitten felt a sudden urge to play with it. 'no…no…too late' he attacked the ball, and swiped at it merrily, inhaling the scent it gave off.

The room spun, and seemed to turn purple, he watch as little birds seemed to soar over his head. Now completely intoxicated by the catnip, he began to giggle shrilly and pounce after the invisible birds.

Genis walked back into the house to find 'Fluffy' pouncing up and down, swatting at the air. After a moment of confusion he spotted the catnip ball. He began to laugh, that is, until Raine Sage walked in, from teaching younger children. "Genis…why is there a kitten jumping on my bed?" She asked icily.

Genis gulped. "Well, he was outside, and he looked lost, and he looks like Kratos!" Genis added the last part with a small chuckle.

Raine rolled her eyes. "What, do you and Lloyd believe that Kratos came back as a kitten?" It was her turn to laugh now, as Genis flushed and Kratos continued leaping after birds. That is, until the bed ended abruptly and he slammed into the floor with a squeal.

The strike upon the floor had brought the seraphim back to his senses, and he gaped at the catnip ball in shock. Yes, right now, he was sure, that however 'temporary' this form was, it was going to be the most confusing, embarrassing, and frustrating time of his life.


A/N: Like it? hate it? Funny? Dull? tell me what you think by clicking that prettiful little rectangle there in the corner. yeah, you know which one!