A new fandom, a new favourite character... this time it's the brilliant yet underused, Eddie from Mr & Mrs Smith. He was a really interesting character, a hitman who wouldn't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars yet still lived at home with his mother. So I figured I'd have a play with him! Don't worry, no annoying female OC's here, just Eddie and his pursuit of a male mark.

This is set
before the film, as then I have an excuse for forgetting anything. (I've only seen it once!) Also if anyone knows where I can get hold of the script online (free script site or something) I'd be very grateful!

Disclaimer: I don't own Mr & Mrs Smith, or Eddie... (wouldn't mind though, get rid of Mr Smith and woo, I'll have a BALL!)


Colin Jones never had much luck with the women. The longest relationship he'd ever had was with Madam Palm and her five lovely daughters and that was still ongoing. His friends had tried to set him up but no woman was interested in a short, fat, ginger, balding nerd. Which is why, shortly after his 27th birthday, he'd invested in a laptop. A slick, slim, silver item, which now took pride of place on the coffee table in his messy bachelor pad. He'd originally bought it for internet dating. According to his best friend, Jeff, there were thousands of women on the web gagging for "hot ginger loving". He'd had varied success on the dating sites. Much to his surprise, he'd recieved many e-mails from interested parties. (He'd even recieved one e-mail from a stunning, leggy blonde woman he'd contacted telling him he was too attractive for her. That now had pride of place on his fridge.)

However after a few weeks of correspondence with a few select women, Colin had given up on the internet dating scene and begun looking for other ways to fill his time. Porn had seemed like a logical progression from internet dating but Colin wasn't willing to go down that route just yet. The internet was supposed to be an amazing research tool, not an endless amount of stimulus for his tool.

So, off the recommendation of a friend, he'd joined an online role-play game. H4CK3RZ. Colin wasn't quite sure why they insisted on using numbers for letters but soon forgot all about that as he was drawn into the world of online role-playing. He'd created a wonderful character for himself, a hot, stud of a hacker called 'Christian Vega'. He became obsessed with cracking the codes the other characters had posted on the room. He'd become a God-like figure on the site and suddenly found himself with more female attention than he could handle. He'd even begun dating one of the women online, 'Delta Lee', a gothic vampire hacker. Everything was going perfectly until one day a mysterious new player, known only as 'Z4', had logged on and posted, what he'd refferred to as, an unbreakable code. He'd offered a huge prize to anyone who could crack the code. Colin had assumed this prize would be a few of the credits the website gave out to anyone who could crack the codes. The more credits you had, the higher your status was on the site. Colin was already #3 but always figured he could do better, so he'd set about trying to crack the code. It was incredibly tough, the most complex Colin had ever seen on the site, but he was determined to crack it.

He'd cut off all contact from his friends, all contact from his family. He'd called in sick to work so many times it was a wonder his boss hadn't fired him. He'd even stopped messaging Delta. The code had taken over his life. He'd even stopped going to bed, only sleeping when the fatigue became too much and he passed out on his keyboard.

For 7 long weeks, he worked on breaking the code. All the other players on the site had moved on, accepted the code was unbreakable but Colin struggled on, determined to prove Z4 wrong. Day and night, night and day, he toiled on the code.

It was in the eighth week he'd finally got it. He couldn't believe it. It was so simple. He was almost embarassed that it had taken him as long as it had. He double checked then triple checked his results. Happy with what he'd found, he sent them through to Z4, who responded with a web-link and instructions to enter his answer in there. Without even looking at the URL in the address bar, Colin had entered his code and was waiting for the information to be processed. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw...

Pages and pages of government secrets. The kind of things civilians got killed for knowing. Which was the reason he was currently tied to a chair, being threatened by the most incompetent hitman he'd ever seen...

Love it? Hate it? I don't care, this is my fic and it'll be shit if I want it too! LoL, just kidding. Anyway, apologies about the length. I swear the chapters will get longer and the story will get better, just give me time!

Please R&R!