Fallen Seraphim Azarael
A/N: I cannot believe I'm writing another one-shot. –is kicking self repeatedly- But I feel it's a reward for updating my other mainstreamed fics. So hah. ThisWILL NOTbe similar to 'My Blue Roses,' another Demon Diary one-shot I wrote a few days ago. IT will be less entrancing, less enchanted, and definitely less serious.
Let's go for humour here people. And I am trying to take after Dillirga's sense of witty charm. And do go and read her Inuyasha SessxRin fics- they are terribly funny! And, looking this over, I have screwed up magnificently at attempting her humor. But oh well.
And I have brownies in the oven so I'd better finish this quick…
(Or for you wiseasses 'Fence Adventures'. –stalks off, muttering about wiseasses and needing more sugar-)
Today we find ourselves in the midst of yet another heated argument between Raenef and Chris. Shouts of, 'Dark Arrow!', and, 'Holy Bolt!', could be heard all the way across the grounds. Not surprising at all in fact.
Now, normally we would find Erutis watching this feud in amusement, but, thanks to one mighty hangover from last night, we find our heroine lying in bed. With plenty of cold compresses.
This hangover was due to any number of random things I could name off, but, the most pressing reason would be that she challenged Eclipse to an under-the-table-first competition. We Scots and Irish can hold our liquor any day, but even we can't beat a demon at his own game.
Eclipse, formerly known as the Drinking Lord, (until he fell to Lord Krayon that is), played out 13 rounds of Everclear with Erutis until she slipped under the table, sleeping soundly, bottle still in hand. Eclipse, feeling generous in result of reestablishing his drinking prowess, teleported her to her room. And thus, poor Erutis woke in the morning with the vicious liquid in one hand and her forehead in another.
Never, I repeat, NEVER drink Everclear with a demon. Especially with the former Drinking Lord.
But, back to the matter at hand. Our heroine was currently complaining in colorful words the treachery of the demon Eclipse when Lord Goldilocks, as he has so fondly been titled, showed up.
"Why, Erutis sweets, why are you so pale? Oh my poor darling you're ill!" Of course, being the adoring lover, he snapped his fingers and in came a thousand sylphs, each bearing some remedy from a thousand corners of the world. Each corner was now feeling immense hatred towards Krayon, seeing as how his sylphs stole their medicine. At least they won the bet though, the sylphs had loyally bet that Erutis would win in the drinking competition. So the corners took their million yen happily, each noting to send Eclipse a Christmas card every year now.
The bloody sylphs were now following orders and removing Erutis' sheets, to which she immediately protested for reasons that shall be revealed momentarily.
"No! Don't take those you idiots! Do you want me to freeze!" She glared at the sylphs and growled at Krayon.
He, of course, found this cute to no end.
But, then again, he would've been drooling if he knew why she was protesting.
As the last sheet fell away, Erutis screamed in humiliation, followed by one hot whistle.
Krayon, at this moment in time was having some serious desire issues. Her lithe body, sweet and inviting right in front of him… NO! He had to stay strong for Erutis or else she'd kill him for what he wanted to do. But it was mating season! His instincts were killing him. So, he did the only thing sensible that would allow him to win her:
He made a bet.
After Erutis snatched back the sheets and wrapped herself in them, (still wary of Krayon's darkened eyes and lusty looks), she listened carefully.
"We'll have a drinking contest, sweets. If I win, you have to agree to mate- err… marry me. If you win…"
Erutis picked up where he left off. "If I win, you leave me alone! And one stipulation- we stand on the palisade and whoever falls off first loses the bet!"
Her defiance and fiery nature, of course, strengthened Krayon's instincts, but he once again fought them down. The Toe Quintet calmly took their winnings from the Finger Quintet, the Fingers muttering something about giving the Toes odds next time 'round.
They shook hands, or, rather Erutis tried before receiving a romantic kiss from Krayon on the back of her hand.
Standing by were Chris, Raenef, and even Eclipse. Chris being the smartass brought popcorn, Raenef tomatoes, and Eclipse, well Eclipse brought a parasol to protect his fair skin from the glaring sun.
Krayon sent Erutis his most charming smile, and she in return sent him her most scathing glare. Each was positioned on the palisade with one foot in front of the other. The palisade was only 6" wide, and so falling was very easy when drunk.
Chris handed each of them a bottle of Everclear, started the count, and one Dark Arrow later and they were off!
First three rounds Erutis was feeling pretty good, and Krayon was feeling intimidated. He didn't know Erutis could handle her liquor. But then again, he knew she'd lost on the 13th round to Eclipse. He'd won on his 20th against Eclipse.
By the tenth round, he was watching her tip a bit in dizziness, and he still felt confident.
Fourteenth round and he was worried she'd kill herself. Her fire to win was driving his instincts up the wall.
Sixteenth round, and she fell over onto the many pillows sprawled about for the two, the majority of pillows being on her side.
Eclipse was looking immensely gratified, as he had just won a very pretty share from Chris, who muttered he couldn't BELIEVE Lord Fancy Pants actually knew how to drink.
Now we find ourselves laughing at the antics of Erutis, running away at top speed from Krayon, who's drooling like a fool. Sylphs seemed to have crept into her room early in the morning and dressed her in a play bunny outfit, in green though.
And such is the life of poor Erutis, who finds herself trapped beneath a kissing Demon Lord Krayon.
A/N: Well, not too funny, but still lighthearted. May have semi-sequel, but if I did I'd have to revamp this whole thing with more details. This was completed in 25 minutes with fingers dancing like mad.
Fallen Seraphim Azarael