A/N: Rated M for language and slash. Don't like, don't read… or do what I did and read until you do like it. :) Not sure who I stole that line from, but oh well. Anyway, for all those that DO like, I'll be attempting to up my smut writing skills(and by up them, I mean discover them, haha!), so maybe we'll have some real slashy good-ness, and not just implied slashy good-ness. BTW, this is set in their seventh year, but disregards all books past the fourth. So, in other words, Sirius, not dead; Dumbledore, also not dead; and Voldemort, definitely not dead... yet. LOL.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, do you really think you'd be reading this here?


"I can't wait for classes to start!" Hermione exclaimed. It was September first, and all the students attending Hogwarts were currently seated on the Hogwarts Express, and had been for the past few hours.

"What are you, insane?" Ron said, horrified. "Don't get me wrong, I love being with you guys... but I hate school!"

"Oh, no you don't," Hermione said.

Harry was about to say something, but decided otherwise, for fear of what Hermione might say—or do—to him.

Just then, the compartment door slid open and in walked three students.

Harry recognized the two standing slightly behind the other right away as Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, Draco Malfoy's "bodyguards". The third person looked oddly familiar, but he couldn't put a name with the face. "Hey," he said, "where's Mal—" He stopped mid-sentence when he realized that the answer to his question was standing right in front of him. His mouth dropped open slightly, and he tried to say something along the lines of, "OH MY GOD!", but the words wouldn't form. He turned to his friends in hopes of some help, but they were in the exact same predicament as he was; eyes wide and jaws dropped. Even Hermione, who was rarely surprised by anything, couldn't keep her mouth closed.

There before them, was Draco Malfoy. Or, it had been at some point in time. This was not Draco Malfoy... it couldn't be! It looked more like a sad attempt at a Draco Malfoy double. The Draco Malfoy Harry knew looked nothing like this. He was of average height, very skinny, had silver-blonde hair that was always slicked back, wore normal clothes, like anybody else, and had absolutely no visible piercings. This Draco Malfoy, if that is, indeed, who he really was, looked so different from the original that it was difficult to tell if they were really the same person. He was tall, slightly more muscled, and yet still frighteningly thin. He was wearing baggy black pants, a tight black T-shirt with a muggle band on it, and black dragonhide boots. And his hair was no longer slicked back... now, it hung down around his face, and the tips had been dyed a variation of blacks, blues, and purples. Harry also noticed that his left ear was pierced three times, as was his own, but his was pierced in his earlobe, while Draco's rings resided at the top of his ear.

Harry's shock was finally wearing off, but wait... was that a tongue ring?

Draco got a strange look on his face. It was a mixture of confusion, annoyance, and a small amount of fright. He turned to Goyle. "What are they staring at?" he asked the other boy.

"Uh... you," Goyle replied.

Draco looked back at the three gawking students and a smile played across his face. "Now, I know I'm pretty," he said, "but to the point where even boys are speechless. Well, really, I had no idea."

He stood, waiting for an answer, expecting them to be offended for some reason he could not see. After all, he was pretty. But none came. The three students didn't move; their mouths were still open and their eyes still wide.

Draco turned to Goyle, hoping for an explanation, but Goyle just shrugged. So, Draco decided to try and make the students speak. He walked over to Harry so that he was standing directly in front of him. "Potter is a queer fag," he said.

Nothing.

"HELLO!" Draco said. "You're Harry Potter, I'm Draco Malfoy. It's my soul purpose in this life to insult you and piss you off. I've done my part, now it's your turn."

Still nothing.

'Well,' Harry thought, 'at least now we know it really is him.'

Draco took a risk he wasn't very eager to make; he leaned closer to Harry and rapped his knuckles against the other boy's skull. "Hey, anybody home?" he asked. He straightened himself and then threw his hands up in exasperation when he got no reply... not the slightest movement... even from the Weasel.

He turned to leave the compartment, but stopped at the door. He put his hand on the wall and said thoughtfully, "I wonder what would happen if I were to pull out my wand and hex everyone sitting down."

He stood for a moment as if pondering the thought, never noticing as Goyle leaped from his sitting position. Then, without warning, he yanked out his wand and whirled around. He frowned at the still-frozen bodies. "Who petrified them?" he asked no one in particular. "That's no fun." He walked out of the compartment and motioned for Crabbe and Goyle to follow.

A few minutes after the boys had left, Harry spoke. "Wow," he said.

"Yeah," Ron put in.

Harry continued, "He looks so... so..."

"Sexy," Hermione finished.

Ron looked horrified. "Hermione!" he yelled.

"Well," she said, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Ron, she's only human," Harry said. "Can you blame her? And besides... she has a point."

Ron looked even more horrified. "What?"

"What?" Harry asked defensively.

"You just said that Draco Malfoy looks sexy," Ron said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah, so?" Harry said.

Ron looked bewildered. "So? It's Malfoy! And he's a boy!"

"Ron, you're an idiot," Harry said. "You know perfectly well that that's what I prefer."

Ron looked scared. "I thought you were joking when you told us that..."

"Oh, Merlin," Harry said, looking exasperated, "what am I going to do with you."

Ron looked extremely frightened at this.

Harry noticed this. "It's a figure of speech you stupid git!"

It was then that the train's bell sounded announcing their arrival at the platform in Hogsmeade.

One hour later, the three students were sitting in their spots at the Gryffindor table as a mountain of food appeared before them. Gasps were emitted by the new First Years, as many of them had never seen this happen before.

It wasn't until five minutes after everyone had begun to eat that Draco Malfoy finally entered the Great Hall. Every head turned to look at him.

Whispers broke out in the Hall. Mostly girls saying something along the lines of "Oooh! Who's the hottie?"

Then Dumbledore spoke. All students switched their attention onto him as he did. "Ah... so good of you to join us. Please, by all means, have a seat. Am I correct in assuming that you have a valid reason for your tardiness, Mr. Malfoy?"

Every head turned back to Draco in awe. Well, all save the Slytherins and a few select students from the other houses.

Draco made his way to the front of the Hall so that he could speak with Dumbledore more privately. All eyes followed him as he did. "Were you aware that my father was here?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "No, I wasn't."

"Well," Draco continued, "he was. Wouldn't tell me why he was here... just to expect him back here tomorrow evening, as planned."

"'As planned'?" Dumbledore asked. "What do you mean, 'As planned.'?"

"I haven't the slightest clue," Draco replied. "You know how my father is. For all I know he could be coming just to humiliate me... again."

"Ah, yes... well, Lucius always did have a mind of his own."

"A little too much, if you ask me," Draco said, only half joking.

"Well," Dumbledore said, "I'm sure everything's all right. You probably have nothing to worry about. Please, join your classmates in this wonderful feast."

"Thank you, sir," Draco said. "I just thought it would be wise to tell you." He turned to walk back to his table. When he did, almost every student was still looking at him like he was Jon Bon Jovi at his twentieth anniversary rock concert. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?" he yelled. "For Merlin's sake, I don't look that different!"

Everyone turned back to their food, but not before the Gryffindor's managed to get in a few good laughs at his distraught