This is my first FMP fic (so please be nice!). I have liked the Manga and Anime for quite sometime but have only recently had the inspiration for this fic. Please enjoy and all reviews are deeply appreciated!

Disclaimer: No I don't own Full Metal Panic or any of it's characters

But all Russian and Miscilanious Dudes are so mine

There is also a direct scence from the Manga (2nd issue) it's in italics and it belongs to Shouji Gatou and Retsu Tateo



Chapter One: How to Live, How to Breathe

Sosuke Sagara lay in his usually comfortable bed, tossing and turning on this somewhat chilly October night. He sighed in exhaustion, lying flat on his back as he glanced at the clock next to his bed. It glared back at him evilly showing that the time was 3:30 AM. He huffed in frustration as he pulled his covers up around him and turned onto his side away from the clock of death. If he wasn't so tired or that he didn't have neighbors on the other side of the wall he would have shot the clock with the mini Uzi that lay between the mattresses directly under the headboard.

He would have to get up in three hours so he would be ready to walk Kaname to school in the morning. He normally did not have to walk her to school. Usually he would follow behind her from a safe distance, giving her space so he did not feel like he was a total stalker. She had to deal with him most of the day, so he would graciously give her those twenty minutes of peace before he would have to be by her side, to be her bodyguard. Normally he could agree to this, but unfortunately he had received word two weeks ago that Kaname was yet again targeted for capture. Mithril suspected it was from a group of Terrorists in Siberia who called themselves the 'Silent Death'. Over 25 of the 80 members were on the top security most wanted list and had death warrants out for them and another 15 of them were on a list that was considered to hold the most dangerous criminals in the world.

So once again Kaname's life was in danger and it was up to Sosuke to protect her with any means possible, including his life. He did not regret this mission that had been given to him a half a year ago. Although many people would not want to put their life on the line for a whispered like Kaname he secretly wished that he could have this mission for the rest of his life. But this was a dark thing that he dare not utter to single soul. He could not even show it on his face or even tell her how pure and deep his feelings were. For if he did, it would most certainly mean her death, and that was the worst possible torture and hell he could ever live in.

Sosuke, being apart of a military agent such as Mithril, was a major target for most terrorist groups around the world. Endangering himself he could handle, he had lived in such potential danger for most of his life. He knew how to handle it and protect himself. But if anything happened to Kaname…

He shuttered, bringing the blankets closer around his perfectly toned, muscular body clad in only a pair of drawstring pants. His dark hair matted itself to his forehead as he had suddenly broken out in a sweat. His grey eyes darted around the room expertly, examining his surroundings as uneasiness fell upon him.


Her face suddenly appeared to him. Her smiling face with that smile that he had learned she saved just for him. The one she gave when she felt he had done something stupid or crazy but still appreciated…cared for him. He could hear her laugh in his head as he could see it gleaming in her eyes. Her long blue hair was loose and blowing in the wind as her brown eyes bore into his with intensity.

He shivered at the memory. It was from their last trip to the beach with their friends and they had gone off looking for shells on their own (she had pulled him with her). He had looked through the sand with her and found a crab crawling dangerously closer to her. He had pulled his gun and she hit him over the head giving the crab time to escape. She had yelled at him for attempting to hurt an innocent crustacean when he calmly explained to her in his practical military voice that he feared it would bite her or hurt her and that it was just a small stun-gun which would only surprise the crustacean into running away. He watched her face change from anger to shock to a warm and laughing smile that he had imprinted on his heart. He could even hear her sweet voice echoing in his ears as she had laughed and shook her head at him.

"Oh Sosuke…sometimes I just don't know what to do with you!"

Sosuke sighed once again, suddenly feeling cold as he bundled the covers around him even tighter. He had realized that day the intensity of his feelings for her. That they weren't just stirrings of affection for one of the only real friends he had or that she was the first girl he had ever been physically attracted to. He realized that he loved her for every little thing that was hers. He loved her soul, her laugh, the way she glared at him when he'd done something crazy, her tears, her sweet face as she watched the sunset, the expression she got when he'd surprise her, but most of all he loved the courage that she had and the passion that she showed in all that she did.

He first realized the existence of his true feelings for her on that day when he fought with Gauron for the first time since he was only know as Kashim, the day Kaname had been kidnapped. It was on that day that Kaname opened herself up to him and showed him all that she would do for him, for the world. He was amazed by her courage and her skill in handling what would normally be a frightening situation. She saved a lot of people that day, but she also saved him by showing him that there was still a small piece of humanity left in him. She saw it when he couldn't even see it anymore, and she showed him on that day with her words and actions.

He stood there silently, solemnly, his gun pointed at her unmoving, waiting for her to make a decision, make her choice.

"So, you're going to shoot me if I don't go?" She asked in disbelief.

"That's correct." He answered in an emotionless tone. Surprise ran through him as a small smile appeared on her face. She walked towards him, her arms opening slightly.

"I'm not scared..." He felt her arms wrap around him in a tight embrace, resting her head softly against his chest. He felt his arm shutter as he lowered his gun to his side. "…because…I believe in you now." She said in a voice almost like a whisper. He felt the gun slip from his hands and heard it clatter upon the ground. "I was so scared of you a minute ago…because you were acting like a stranger to me, but…when you told me to trust you, I felt like I had to pull together and help you as much as I could. I can't loose sight of that now." He felt her grip on her tighten as his features and whole stature soften. She pulled away from him to meet his eyes but never loosened her hold on him as she stared at him defiantly. "So we're going to keep fighting… as long as we're still alive! We're going home together!"

Those words echoed in his head as the memory receded. She wouldn't leave him there alone. Even after she voice her fear of him, even after he had pointed a gun at her and threatened to shoot her if she did not leave. He only feared for her, he was trembling inside at the idea of her being killed on the field because of Kurtz and him being injured. But she walked forward with a simple smile and embraced him letting him know that she believed in him, that she wasn't afraid of him and that she would not leave him there alone. She would be with him or no where.

In that moment he knew that she meant so much more to him than any friend could. He realized that he had protected her before with such zeal because of his feelings for her and that he couldn't imagine doing anything but protecting her. If she left him, if she hated him…he would break.

Sosuke shut his eyes tightly trying to will sleep to come. He wouldn't be able to be an effective bodyguard if he wasn't well rested. But also, he wouldn't be able to be as attentive to Kaname if he was tired and then she would worry about him. He couldn't have that, not when she was in the mortal peril that she was.

He took a deep, calming breath and slowly exhaled, relaxing and feeling sleep creep up upon him. She was fine. He would be with her so she'd be just fine.

She had to be.

His last conscious thought was that he would be near her in three hours.

Sosuke knocked quickly on the door the Kaname's apartment and received an "I'll be right there Sosuke!" in response. It was 7:30 in the morning and having only gotten three hours of sleep the night before Sosuke found himself unusually sluggish. He was found by Kaname leaning against the doorframe with is head resting on his hand with his eyes closed. He jerked to attention as soon as he realized that she was staring at him curiously and straightened himself out.

"Good Morning, Chidori." He said in his usual tone. She raised an eyebrow at him and his curious actions.

"Good Morning Sosuke. Are you feeling alright?" She asked in a concerned voice. She reached to place her hand on his forehead. "You don't have a fever, do you?" He froze suddenly when her cool hand came in contact with him. He found himself suddenly speechless and immobile. She pulled away from him. "Hmm… you don't seem to have a fever…" She speculated. Sosuke suddenly became attentive and cleared his throat.

"Uh…negative, Chidori. I don't have a fever. I'm fine." He said.

"Are you sure?"

"Affirmative." Kaname sighed.

"Would you please stop with the military talk? It's too early in the morning for it. And Sosuke, you don't have to be so formal…we've been on a first name basis for months. What's the suddenly change?" She asked with curiosity. A sudden stroke of fear ran through him.

"Uh…nothing. Nothing's changed Chi…Kaname. And military talk stopping noted. I will try." She watched him for a moment before shrugging and walked ahead of him, closing the door behind her.

"I suppose that that's all I can hope for. Come on Sosuke, we'll be late."

"Right." He said before catching up to her side, chatting with her casually and filling his position of being her body guard.

As they walked she talked going on about how much school was going to suck today because of the quizzes and the homework that she didn't do. He watched her out of the corner of his eyes, a small smile creeping upon his lips.

But he dare not show anymore emotion. He had a fear that she could see right through him. That she would look at him and shutter in disgust. If she ever knew what he was truly thinking, what he truly thought about her, he feared that she would hate him. To have such feelings reject would most certainly kill him.

Dark eyes from behind the tinted panes of the car watched the two teenagers walk down the street seemingly very unprotected. The eyes flickered recognizing the girl with the long blue hair and wild antics to be the target, but her accomplice was implacable and yet completely all too familiar.

"Oduvan, have you sighted the target?" A voice spoke in Russian out from the two way communicator resting next to him.

"Affirmative, Nadej. They are sighted." He replied in Russian.

"They?" Nadej asking in confusion.

"Yes, she has an accomplice…perhaps protection?"

"What does this accomplice look like?" Nadej asked with curiosity.

"Tall, dark hair, grey eyes, about 16 or 17, wears the school uniform of the targets school, stern expression, scar on the left side of the face near the lower jaw line." Nadej was silent for a moment, as if hesitant.

"Sir?" Oduvan asked.

"Watch them. Watch them closely. If it's just the boy then the mission will be simple. Wait out where you are until this afternoon, backup will be there to help you capture the girl. Kill the boy."


"And Oduvan…"


"Don't fail me."

"I won't sir…" He received dead air in response. His dark eyes rose to the pair as they were now further down the street. His eyes narrowed with a determination and a malice that was somehow deeply terrifying.

"I won't."