Getting Better

by

ensngre

I loved you.

You never knew… was I too obscure? Or were you simply too lost in yourself, that you failed to notice?

They never talk about you anymore. They've… gotten dull. Now that they have no-one to push them to their limits. They always admired you, like I did. To them, you are taboo to speak about – but you will always remain in their hearts.

We of the Sound Five never understood how you were slain. You were unreachable, more so than our own master, even though it pains me to think so. We would die for our master, but for you, we lived.

Our master became enraged when he heard the news of your decease. I'm not aware whether or not he mourned, but if he could, he would mourn for you. He loved you, too, in a sort of way. In a way he could never love us, the Five.

The sacrifices became more than ever… from the time of your death and forward, over three hundred had lost their lives. Another intense period of our master's forbidden practises. He seemed to be genuinely obsessed over your death. The way Kabuto-sensei talked about the experiments, they seemed to be about you. He wouldn't mention much, but I wasn't as stupid as to not pick up the little hints he gave us.

I wondered what it might be about.

Were they really about you, or were they just inspired by you; your way of life? I believe you even touched our master's heart.

How could they be about you? I shouldn't have doubted my master, because he was the one closest to God. He bended the rules of mother nature. But somehow, it seemed so surreal… I wondered; would you come to us from whatever plane you were at?

Our master completed the technique eventually, and spoke to us about it's use. He needed a perfect body for it. And he spoke your name, it was the first time in years that I had heard it. I hadn't dared to speak it before. Only clinging to it in my dreams…

I agreed to be the sacrifice. My body would be yours until you found a more fitting, beautiful, a stronger body. But I was happy to be of use for you; for your revival. If only temporary.

Any second now, I would be dead. Kabuto-sensei had been pleased to know that I was going to give up my body peacefully. Neither he, my master or you would be content with a damaged body. But most of all; I wouldn't want to scar an already unworthy body.

Now, my heart was beating slower and slower, due to one of Kabuto-sensei's techniques. The thought of you adressing our master as 'Orochimaru-sensei' once more, bringed me happiness. And as my heart stopped, there was but a few words on my mind.

I loved you. I still love you.

Authors notes

It just came to me a few hours ago, the idea of this fic. It wouldn't leave me, even after several hours, so I wrote it down. I decided on an unrequited love, because I believe that kind of love is the best.