Part 8: Beast Boy The Angel Next Door
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans nor the idea for the title of this fic. It is from a song. The plot, however, is original…promise.
There is an angel that lives next door to me. She's lost. She fell from heaven and landed in the room next door, content to pretend she's all black empty. But she's not. I know she's not. No matter what she thinks, no matter who her father is… she's changed her destiny.
I think she might realize that she's still got her wings, one day. That kind of scares me. I guess I'm selfish, but I'm almost glad that she doesn't know she can fly away and reach so much more than this. People say that you have to let go of the things you love the most, and that if they really love you back then they'll return.
But I'll be blunt. It takes too long. I let go of Terra, and she came back too late. She came back and wound up in an eternal tomb of earth. So, I'll keep the angel next door ignorant of her wings and ignorant of the chains that she's already broken through. Hopefully, that'll be enough to keep her tethered to me for the moment.
At least, I want it to be enough. I need this time to show her that she may have fallen from heaven, but there's happiness on earth too.
I know that it's selfish, but I think Raven needs someone to be selfish.
I hear someone knocking on my door. Light taps on steel, tentative and unsure. My green eyes blink curiously, and I swagger over to greet my guest.
It's my angel.
And she has something to say. I see her violet eyes wide and brilliant, her fists clutched up before her chest. Her hair is tucked neatly behind her ears, but there is a stubborn strand of indigo silk that refuses to stay put. Her billowing blue cloak swallows her delicate form.
"Beast Boy… I… can I come in?" she says carefully. I am surprised. My angel is never very sociable. With me least of all. None the less, I nod numbly. I'm not about to deny her. She shuffles in swiftly and the door hisses shut behind us both. "You may want to sit down." She murmurs quietly. I do so, slouching onto the bottom bunk of my bed and eyeing her expectantly.
"I though you might like to hear this before I told the others," she beings softly. I cock my head to the side, intent upon knowing this special revelation.
"What is it, Rae?" I ask. She drops her hands back to her sides. Her pale face is lit with a rare flutter of emotion; a brush of butterfly wings across her face. Her lips are pulled into a very tiny upward curve, but there is a sad line to them which makes her expression hard to read. It's her eyes that betray a touch of doubt.
"I know how to bring Terra back now." She says.
I stare at her, suddenly frozen in time, my eyes wide and lips parted in the quivering beginning of a gasp that won't quite happen. My brain tumbles into overdrive and I'm fighting the melancholy look on Raven's face and the flood of memories stained with images of Terra. Terra…
My first love.
The one I let go…
The one that came back too late.
"Terra?" I breathe, almost unable to comprehend the concept. It's been a year. Nearly a year and a half…
"Yes." She answers me, forcing her features into an overly-practiced blankness. "I thought… perhaps we ought to try to free her… just the two of us. I wanted you to be there, because she's… well… she's Terra. And I know how you and Terra were… are…" she mumbles. "I though we should do it without telling the others, in case it doesn't work." She adds.
I nod slowly, still numb. I can't think right now. Not much. "Aren't you excited?" I blurt.
The angel looks away.
"You're still mad at her?" I ask. She shakes her head.
"No. Everyone needs second chances. I'm… happy…" she utters in a hushed tone. I don't quite understand. "Beast Boy, I'm sorry. I'm being selfish is all. Really, I'm excited for you and her. I just can't show emotion, remember?" she finishes, but her voice rises in pitch slightly. Something bothers her. I wonder if she still can't trust Terra. I wonder what it will take for her to free Terra.
"Raven… what's wrong. Tell me." I prod. She shakes her head, pulls up her hood… closes her eyes.
"Like I said, I'm being selfish. Do you want to go now? The others are asleep. We can have her back safely before dawn. You can have Terra back." She rambles quickly. I shake my head slowly.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong. You should be happy, but you're not. I know you're not." I say. She deflates, shoulders drooping, and her form shrinks further within the folds of her cloak.
"I just… I guess I sort of feel like… she takes you away from me. Not that you're mine, or anything… I want her to be able to breathe again and live again, but I'm…" she trails off. "I'm afraid she'll make you think badly of me."
I blink rapidly. Take me away from her? I didn't think the angel even wanted me near her. She's my friend, but she's different. She likes her solitude. I hadn't thought she would mind much if I weren't always there. "Terra wouldn't ever make me think badly about you. Terra's not a bad person… she liked you, really. She made a mistake, but she made up for it too. She's good now," I try and assure her. Raven waves my comments away hurriedly.
"She's not a bad person, I know. She's… better. Better with being a friend than I am. She's better at caring than I am." Raven says quietly. "Even now, I'm being disgusting… being jealous…" she spits with a frown. I stare at her for a while, watching the angel tell herself lies.
I place my hands on her shoulders and she looks up at me, confused. I smile softly and lean forward, kissing her cheek. "You're not disgusting, Raven. You're an angel. You just don't know it yet." I say. She looks at me, startled. I look towards my door and then back to her. "Let's go get Terra…" I say.
She nods slowly and we walk out of my room together. We fly side by side as we head towards the cavern in which Terra stands, her hands stretched out in an eternal posture of power. I land at the cave entrance and shift back into human form. Raven sets down behind me.
I turn to face her and she looks worried again. I brush her cheek with my hand. "I let Terra go, Raven. Having her back will be wonderful. You can't know how much I want to see her smile again… but things change, and people mature. Maybe I'm not the best person to talk about maturity, but I've found that whatever happens… Terra and I can only have friendship when she comes back.
"That is, if she'll even accept us. Terra will always have part of my heart, but my heart's grown since she's been gone." I say. For a brief second, Raven looks skeptical. As if she's not quite sure that this exchange can really be happening.
Because she's the one 'without emotions'…
And I'm the one 'without a brain.'
Then again… can't anything be happening if Terra is coming back? "Remember that, Rae. When we go in there," I say, pointing to the cavern before us. "No matter what happens… if it works… if I really get Terra back… or not… My heart's grown. My heart's grown and in the end, it belongs with you. No matter how much I care about Terra," I say. Raven lowers her eyes.
"I feel like I'm stealing something from her. I… I've never even tried to show you that you were my friend… let alone that you mean more…" she murmurs. I shake my head.
"Maybe, but I think… I always knew… somewhere…" I reply. She nods, thinking. And then I'm pretty sure she comes to the same conclusion. She reaches out to me, and I take her hand.
And we walk into the cavern to free Terra.
And no matter what happens… the angel next door…
Is the real angel of my heart.
Author's Note: My appologies for the long wait, but hopefully it was vaguely worth it. This is the official end of Chicken Soup. I don't know how well this idea worked out, but I'd had the notion to do a ficcy like this at some point. It's one of those ones which could probably turn into a longer fic, but I felt it was conclusive enough to be left as a one-shot. I seriously don't know how badly it really came out because I failed to proof-read this one. Oh well. I hope it's bearable. As far as my next endeavor... well, I'm thinking perhaps "To Ashes For You" will be next, eventually followed by "Love me Senseless." However, with the upcoming end to Teen Titans, I want to concentrate my time on "Chasing Mirrors," which is, of course, my own season six... seven... and however long I end up taking it. So, I'm not going to give any definite on what I'll come out with next. Just know that just because TT is ending, I'm not going to stop writing.
As always, thanks for following me through the duration of this fic, your support is amazing. I hope you will continue to check back to see more of my work, and I assure you that I'm still chock-full of one-shots. For those of you who've read through all of this, you've endured my first attempts at bbxrae one-shots and any cyborg-centered fics, as well as my early tries at decent first-person writing. I marvel at all of you for your patience.
Love, Princess Starfire of Tamaran
P.s.- Sorry for the length of this note! .