Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling and I don't have the faintest idea of what is going to happen in the actual book 7. This is just my version of what will surely never happen! Besides, I don't own the characters or the setting of this story, the insanity is mine though!

Author's note: Thanks a lot to my friend Belga for helping me with coming up with ideas for this and to every one of my friends who might find him/herself a little in this story... please don't hurt me!

Chapter one:

There was just one day missing for Harry to be out of age finally.

He sat by his desk writing a list of things he wanted to do the following year.

1st: Kill Voldemort

2nd: Learn to wash my own laundry

3rd: Try not to kill any more of my friends

4th: don't believe anything a book or sheet of paper tells me

5th: be stupidly brave once again

6th: Hex Dudley as soon as I am allowed to

7th: Hex Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon as well

8th: Leave this house and make sure to bang the door

9th: find some more Horcruxes

10th: find Severus Snape

11th: think of a good speech to give Snape and Voldemort

12th: think of good last words in case I lose the fight

13th: there really is no point 13 but 13 seems a good number to stop a list!

He read through the points once again and felt satisfied. Harry looked at the clock in his room once again and saw that there were still 3 hours missing for him to be 17, so he could as well start with the list.

He went down to the living room and found Petunia Dursley there.

"Erm... Aunt Petunia could you…" he felt really ridiculous at that point "show me how to do the laundry?"

His aunt raised an eyebrow but then her eyes began watering.

"My nephew! Finally you show me your love!" she exclaimed hugging him.

Harry was stunned: "Uhm… sure! Will you show me then?"

The next three hours passed rather quickly between washing white and coloured clothes.

Harry was terribly bored, but at least he was able to cross one of the points of his list out already.

The very moment the clock showed midnight he took his want out and went to the living room again. He pointed his wand towards the Dursleys' sleeping rooms.

"Accio Dursleys!" he exclaimed quite unsure if the spell would work for living beings too, but it was worth the try.

His three relatives came flying down the stairs immediately, looking rather confused and disbelieving this was really happening.

"So, now I am 17 and I will leave and never come back… thanks for mistreating me all the time… any comments from your side?" Harry said immediately.

Petunia started sobbing at once: "But not now… not now that we've come so close!"

Vernon raised his eyebrow but then decided he didn't want to know what this meant: "But boy, you cannot leave like this!" he said in his softest voice finally.

Dudley looked completely shocked and rather sad at his cousin and made his best puppy face while claiming: "I will miss you so much, you cannot do this!"

Harry could only wonder why they were talking like this all of a sudden.

"Boy, what will happen to us if you leave?" Vernon asked finally.

The boy thought for a while. What would happen to his relatives?
"Don't worry, your life will go on as it has before!" he ensured finally "You will not appear in this story again… well, only if Voldemort decides to hold you hostage to get me… or well, if he decides to kill you just to hurt me… or well, if he decides to kill you because you are muggles, which is a reason to kill someone for him!"

Dudley nodded satisfied. He hadn't understood anything after Harry had said: "Don't worry…"

Vernon didn't look happy: "But… then we will not be in the books again!"

"I bet this Voldemort guy will make my carpet dirty if he comes here!" Petunia whined.

Harry sighed: "Well, there won't be any more books… it's over after book 7 anyway! Oh and, when I meet him I'll tell Voldemort to clean his shoes before he comes here! Any more things or can I leave now?"

His relatives shrugged. Harry nodded satisfied: "Very well then!" he took his wand out again and gave all the Dursleys a new haircut because he couldn't think of anything better that moment but he didn't want to leave and have those points of his list undone.

He felt really good then, because he had managed to cross out three of the points on his list at only one evening, and as soon as he got a chance to bang the door the fourth point would be finished.

So he went towards the door quickly and banged it after him as loud as he could.

Just seconds later the doorbell rang.

Petunia opened the door.

Harry blushed heavily: "Sorry, I forgot to take Hedwig along!" He stormed up the stairs and got Hedwig and her cage.

Then he banged the door after him. Then he turned around and knocked on the door.

"Sorry, but my spellbooks… erm.. yeah, sorry…" he stammered.

All the Dursleys raised an eyebrow.

Finally an idea crossed Harry's mind and he took his wand again casting a spell which made all his things shrink to fit into his trunk and flying towards him.

He banged the door behind him once again. Only too hard this time! The door broke and all the Dursleys could see him again.

Harry rolled his eyes, murmured another "bye suckers" and disapparated.

He apparated only a second later near the Weasleys house.

Someone from the ministry was already waiting for him.

"Oops… apparating license… I forgot… myyyyyyyyyyyyy mistake!" Harry exclaimed.

The person looked at him for a while: "Well, Mister Potter, I should punish you for this, but on second thought, you also nearly killed one student using a Dark Arts spell and didn't get expelled from school, so okay, here's your license, so you don't need to do it without one in the future!"

Harry took the license and shrugged. Things were going well for him that night.

Ron, Hermione, Ginny and some others came out of the house of a sudden.

"HEYYYYYY!" Harry exclaimed running towards them as well "So, Ron Hermione, are you together now?"

Ron and Hermione exchanged looks but finally Ginny spoke: "Listen, Harry, the author has decided that the next two chapters are for romance, so ask again at the next chapter, okay?"