xPruexPiperxPhoebexPaigex- Thanxs, I hope they're as funny too, or else I have a problem.
Scream-queen218- It's my favorite horror movie too, next to Chucky, but that's not till later.
Jaydat- Thanxs, it's always nice when ppl say it's the best story they've ever read.
AlyssaWarren- Thank you, Oh, don't worry I won't think you're copying me.
.elementbabe.- those were my favorite parts too!- Thanxs..
Thanxs again guys, oh and I forgot to mention in chapter 1 that I got this whole movie parody thing from Alex and his 'Night of many annoying horrors', so he gave me permission, no one sue. Just so ya know this may be a lil inaccurate because I'm too lazy to dig out my DVD.
Disclaimer- we've been over this a 1000x! I own EVERYTHING!except for this story….
Chapter 2- The Ring- around the tub…
Scene: Phoebe and Paige are sitting in Phoebe's room, Paige on the floor, Phoebe lying on the bed, Paige is channel surfing and they're both in Catholic Schoolgirl uniforms.
Paige: (blankly) "I heard that TV makes you dumb."
Phoebe: "How?" (Her foot comes up and scratches her head.)
Paige: "Well all the little radio waves kill your brain cells…" (She hands the remote to Phoebe who starts changing the channel.)
Phoebe: "Eh, it happens,"
Paige: "I also heard that the radio waves shrink silicone implants." (Both look down at their chests' then at each other and start screaming.) "Turn in off! Turn it off!
Phoebe: "I'm trying!" (The remote's backwards. Paige orbs the TV through the window.)
Paige: "That was close," (Phoebe nods) "But you wanna here something really scary?"
Paige: "There's this tape…"
Phoebe: (Looking embarrassed) "L-Look Paige, it was an accident, it was the first time I ever tried Jello-Shots off a naked stripper, and…"
Paige: "Not that tape. It's a tape with all kinds of random images, and you watch it, the phone rings because somebody knows you've watched it, and they say 'You're gonna die in 7 days'…"
Phoebe: "I watched it,"
Paige: "What? Phoebe, it's just a story."
Phoebe: "No! Paige, I watched the tape! Last weekend Cole and I watched it, we thought it was 'Embrace of the Vampire' but when we put it in, all this stuff popped up then we got the call."
Paige: "When exactly did you watch it?"
Phoebe: "7 days ago tonight at 10pm," (they look at the clock, it's 2 till ten.)
Paige: "Wow, sucks to be you. Wonder how you're gonna die."
Phoebe: "I dunno, I just have to be careful." (Of course she says this with a mouthful of fried chicken. She shoves a whole drumstick into her mouth and tries to swallow, but the bone is lodged in her throat.)
Paige: " I know what I should do, but, I should wash my hands first." (She runs out to wash up.) (When she comes back a few hours later with some random guy Phoebe is cold and dead.) "Your still here,"
(2 weeks later…)
Scene: Piper is walking into a classroom Wyatt (8) is sitting at a desk, coloring. His teacher notices her and walks over.
Ms. Griffin: "Mrs. Halliwell, how are you?"
Piper: "Fine, sorry I'm so late, I couldn't get off work." (She nods.) (Piper goes up to Wyatt and takes the picture and grimaces. "What was the assignment?"
Mrs. Griffin: "Draw a picture of your family."
(There was Paige, bent over what looked like a toilet with green vomit coming out of her mouth, Leo was up in the sky in a compromising position with another Elder, Wyatt was in the corner alone, Phoebe was lying down and had x's for eyes and was under them all, and Piper herself was sitting down with a bottle of something in her hand.
Piper: (Sarcastically,) "How sweet,"
(In the car…)
Piper: "Look Wyatt, I know I've been extremely busy since you were born, but I promise I'm trying to spend more time with you."
Wyatt: (depressed.) "Sure Aunt Cindy."
Piper: "Why do you keep calling me that? I'm not your aunt! You don't even have an Aunt Cindy!"
(Piper is tucking Wyatt into bed.)
Piper: "You wanna read a story?"
Wyatt: "I'm kinda tired," (Piper nods and kisses him on the forehead, she turns to leave.) "We don't have enough time,"
Piper: "Look Wyatt I've already explained this…"
Wyatt: "I meant to live dumbass,"
Piper: "Oh sweetie, we still have plenty of time to live, I know it doesn't seem true since Aunt Phoebe died, it's just that blonde's always die early." (Wyatt gasps, cuz he's blonde, which Piper seemed to forget.) "Well, goodnight." (She kisses him again then flips off the light leaves him sitting up in bed, wide-eyed, scared.)
(Piper walks into Phoebe's old room and sighs, sadly. She walks in and notices that the VCR's on and somehow her TV's back, she sees a box on top of it.)
Piper: "Hmm, 'Embrace of the Vampire'," (She presses play.)
(White noise then images start to appear. A white ring then it disappears and then shows Prue in the mirror, plucking her nose hairs, her crooked eye looks like it's watching Piper. Piper shudders. The picture changes to a woman, arms extended, she falls off a cliff, a few seconds later she comes back up. "Wee!", she goes back down, a bungee cord around her legs…A horse is seen crapping, a giant cigarette butt standing up, (Oh, my bad, that's a lighthouse.) a chair then a guy walks up to it, it's spinning upside down with him on it. He's throwing up in a bucket…Prue in the mirror again, then finally the ring appears again, and the tape shuts off.) (Piper's sitting there, mouth open, her eye twitches. Then she bends over and throws up.)
(The phone rings and Piper picks it up.)
Voice: (Evil whisper.) "7 days…"
Piper: "Yea, I know, 7 days till my next gynecologist's appointment, thanks." (She's about to hang up.)
Voice: (Evil whisper.) "You're gonna die in 7 days…"
Piper: "Why? What did I do?"
Voice: (Normal) "Ugh, lady do I gotta spell it out for ya? In seven days I'm comin to kill your ass because you watched the tape!"
Piper: "But…" (But before she could finish they hung up.) (Muttering.) "Damn telamarketers," (Leo walks in.)
Leo: "Who was that?"
Piper: "I don't know, someone just called and said he was coming to kill me in 7 days because I watched the unedited version of 'Embrace of the Vampire'…"
(Suddenly Paige comes running in.)
Paige: "I was eavesdropping on your call, you watched the tape, didn't you?"
Piper: "If by 'watch' you mean stare in utter horror, and by 'tape' you mean video of the damned, then yes Paige I watched the tape."
Paige: "Oh shit, this is not good." (She starts pacing.)
Paige: "Because that's the tape that killed Phoebe!"
Piper: (chuckles) "What?"
Paige: "Yea, I didn't believe it either at first, then she told me how her and Cole watched it, then they got the exact same call you did, then, 7 days later her and Cole both dropped dead."
Piper: "I'm not sure I believe any of this, how about you Leo?---Leo?" (They turn to see Leo modeling Phoebe's clothes and putting on a pair of her earrings in the mirror. "Leo!"
Leo: "Huh? Piper, it's not what it looks like!"
Paige: "You mean you weren't modeling Phoebe's clothes in a sad attempt to tell all of us you are gay?"
Leo: "Oh- then it is…"
Piper: "So, what do you make of all this?"
Leo: "I say you're screwed, because the tape's real, I watched it a few days ago, I thought it was 'I know what you did last summer with my gay brother.' I was wrong, I got the call, that's why the other night you found me crying in the closet." (Piper nods)
Paige: "Why the hell didn't Phoebe take the damn tape out and throw it away?"
(sighs) "Well it looks like I'm the only one who hasn't watched it. Goodnight," (She turns to leave. Piper and Leo exchange a glance.) "What? Why are you guys looking at me like that?"
(They grab her arms and pry her eyelids open and force her to watch the tape.)
(Fast-forward to after the call.)
Paige: "Ah crap! Thanks a lot you guys!"
Piper: "Just trying to make you feel like part of the family sis," (She pats her shoulder.)
(The next morning…Piper walks into Wyatt's room and he's watching something, Piper suddenly feels sick.)
Piper: "Wyatt Matthew Halliwell, that better be porn you're watching!" (She goes up to him; he's watching the 'tape of the damned'. Piper screams and shuts off the TV and hugs Wyatt tightly.)
Wyatt: (Clearly freaked out.) "Mommy where do babies come from?"
(The phone rings. Piper just sits there. Paige walks in.)
Paige: "Geez, lazy much?" (She picks it up.) "Hello? Yea, oh hi! Yea, he's right here, hold on." (Hands the phone to Wyatt but Piper snags it.)
Voice: "Hey, how ya doin enjoying your last living days?"
Piper: "I'm alright,"
Voice: "Good, so, can I talk to Wyatt?"
Piper: "Why? He didn't watch the tape."
Voice: "Yes he did,"
Piper: "No he didn't,"
Voice: "Look lady I've been at this freaking job for 50 years, I know when someone's watched the flipping tape!" (Piper slams the phone down.) (It rings again. She picks it up thinking the killer wouldn't call twice.)
Piper: "Halliwell residence,"
Voice: "Hello, I'm calling to see if Wyatt is interested in subscribing to 'Kill You Magazine'…"
Piper: "Just a minute…Hey, you're the killer!"
Voice: "No I'm not,"
Piper: "Yes you are!"
Voice: "Fine, you're right. Can I just leave a message then?"
Piper: (Sighs) "Sure," (Starts writing something down.) "Uh huh, ok, how do you spell that? Ok, bye." (She hangs up and looks at the paper.)7 Days
Paige: "Well looks like our family line just went down the crapper."
Piper: "Shut up! I have to figure out what the tape means, why it kills."
Paige: "So in other words we must be one with the tape. Eat with the tape, sleep with the tape, have sex with the tape." (Piper slaps her, and points to Wyatt.)
Piper: "Ok, Paige you come with me, Wyatt you watch your father ok, he has lunch at noon then he has to have a nap afterwards or else he gets cranky." (Wyatt nods and they leave.)
(At the library.)
Paige: "What's this place?"
Piper: "I think it's somewhere hobo's come to shower."
(At one of the computers.)
Piper: "Alright, so after looking for nude pictures of Julian McMahon I Googled 'pictures of lighthouses' and found the one we're looking for. It's over by Alcatraz, so you know what that means…"
Both: "Roadtrip!" (They high-five, the librarian 'shushes' them.) (Whisper) "Roadtrip!"
(At the lighthouse…)
Piper: (Depressed.) "Some roadtrip,"
Paige: "Yea, I forgot Alcatraz was just a hop, skip and an electric fence away."
(They walk up the steps until they get to the top of the lighthouse, there is an old guy sitting there surrounded by a bunch of TV screens.)
Old guy: "Yes, can I help you?"
Piper: "Yea, I'm Piper Halliwell and this is my sister Paige, we're here because of a videotape."
Old guy: "You mean…?" (Piper nods.) "Right, well I suppose you'd like to learn of its origins."
Paige: "Well doy, we're not here for pleasantries."
Old Guy: "That's a shame, because it's been such a long time since anyone's been up here, it gets lonely." (He runs his hand over the arm of the chair.) "All I have is Maria, my wonderful chair, she vibrates ya know."
Piper: "That's great, now, the tape please."
Old Guy: "Fine, well some odd years ago my wife and I adopted a daughter, we named her Samora, because we were both on chronic at the time. Anyway, Samora grew up an only child, she didn't have any friends, and she scared the shit out of the horses." (Both women thought about the image in the tape.)
"My wife got pretty mad, so she took her down to the basement and threw her in the well, I thought a simple timeout would've been sufficient, but before she died Somora imprinted her evil onto a video tape and slipped it into an 'Embrace of the Vampire' box and returned it to Blockbuster."
Paige: (Muttering) "That bitch,"
Piper: "Yea, thanks for that but what we're more concerned about is ourselves, see, we watched the tape, all my family did actually, and I wanna know how to save them, or at least me."
Old Guy: "I'm sorry but I don't know,"
Piper: "How can you not know? What good are you then?"
Old Guy: (Pathetically) "I just wanted some friends…" (Paige winks at him but Piper drags her out.)
(Back at the manor.)
Piper: "Ok, since old and wrinkly couldn't help us I had an theory."
Leo: "Um Piper…"
Piper: "Hold on sweetie, I…"
Leo: "It's been 7 days since I watched the tape."
Paige: "What time exactly?"
Leo: "Right…about…now." (He falls over, an ax in his back.)
Piper: "Oh god!"
Piper: "Where'd that ax come from?"
Paige: "My bad, I was taking it to get sharpened."
Piper: "But we never use it!"
Paige: "Right-we," (shifty eyes)
Piper: (Shakes her head.) "Alright, we'll deal with this tomorrow, I need sleep." (She walks out.)
Paige: "Right-sleep," (Shifty eyes)
Leo: (Weakly) "Paige, I'm not dead yet."
Paige: "What? Sorry Leo I can't hear you!" (She pushes the ax in deeper, killing him.)
(5 days later…)
Piper: "Wow time sure does fly when you do nothing."
Paige: "But I can't help feeling like there was something we needed to do." (they think)
Piper: "Oh right! Stop the 'hell tape' from killing me-I-I mean us."
Paige: "Hey, where's Wyatt?"
Wyatt: "I really like you Chucky, you're a neat doll."
Chucky: "Yea-yea, hey let's play a game. It's called 'torch the house'."
Wyatt: "How do you play that?"
Piper: "He's probably fine, besides, he probably still has that forcefield thing…"
Paige: "And if he doesn't?"
Piper: "Dead never really means dead Paige."
(An hour later…)
(Paige and Piper are in a newsroom.)
Paige: "So, for reader exposition's sake, what's the plan again?"
Piper: "Simple," (She pulls out the tape.) "We play this so everyone who watches basic cable tonight will watch it and therefor die with us, problem solved."
Paige: (looks uneasy) "I don't know Pipe, are we really that desperate?"
Piper: "No, I just figure 'do unto others as you want to do unto them'."
Paige: "That's not how-."
Piper: "Shush, ok first we just need a guinea pig." (she looks around.)
Paige: "Here," (She hands Piper an actual guinea pig.)
Piper: (She takes it and tosses it over her shoulder.) "No, a human guinea pig Einstein."
Paige: "Oh," (She looks around and grabs a random guy, not like that prick.)
Guy: "What's going on here?"
Piper: "Sir- you've just been signed up to watch the pilot episode of our new show."
Guy: "Oh yea? What's it called?"
Paige: "Uh, Charmed."
Guy: "Sure ok," (He sits and watches the tape. It ends; same basic reaction Piper had.) "Wow, um, I think I need to lie down." (His cell rings.) "After I answer that." (He answers it.) "Hello?…Who is this?" (He hangs up.)
Piper: "What's wrong?"
Guy: "Some jerk just called and told me I was going to die in 7 days."
Piper: "Lemme see your phone," (He hands it to her and she dials something.)
Piper: "Oh I just 69d your ass bitch!"
Voice: "Uh oh,"
Piper: "That's right uh oh, I'm gonna find you, and when I do I'm gonna make you regret ever coming out of that well, Somora!"
Somora: "Shit," (She hangs up.) (Piper chuckles. She hands the phone back,) "Thank you for your time sir," (He runs off.)
Paige: "Piper, that was genius! So now all we have to do is make the operator trace the call and 'Bam!'" (She accidentally slaps Piper in the eye.) "Whoops,"
Piper: "Ow, bitch that hurt!" (She bangs Paige's head against a desk.)
Paige: (Crying) "I'm sor-ry!" (Piper stops.)
Piper: "Let's roll,"
They walk out in slow motion. In the background there is an explosion.)
Paige: "I think there must be some kind of mistake."
Paige: "Because the operator traced the call to the basement, isn't that the least bit strange?"
Piper: "Kind of, usually the call comes from the attic."
(They walk down the stairs.)
Paige: (Looking at the ground.) "Hey, when did we get hardwood floors down here?"
Piper: "Hey, this board right here is squeaky, let's pull it up."
(20 boards later…) "What do ya know, apparently there's a well down here. This must be that guys old house."
Piper: "Wyatt!" (He comes running down.)
Piper: "There's a dead chick down there and we need you to get her."
Wyatt: (scared) "Why? Aunt Paige is thinner than me!"
Piper: "You're right. Paige, get your skinny ass down there."
Paige: "Um, I don't think that's necessary anymore."
Piper: "Why?" (They turn around and Somora is holding onto Paige's arms.) "Holy crap!" (Somora looks really nasty and decayed, her long hair covering her face, thankfully.)
Paige: "She's really strong!"
Piper: "Odor isn't everything ya know."
Paige: "Not funny!"
Wyatt: "Actually it kinda is."
Piper: "Thank you sweetie, now ugly dead girl, why are you so content in killing innocent people?"
Somora: (In a watery voice.) "Have you ever tried it? It's fun!"
Paige: "No! No it's not!"
Somora: "Why don't you try it out?"
Piper: "Okay," (She walks over to Paige and stabs her to death.) "Eh, it's ok, but that's still no excuse!"
Somora: "And what are you gonna do about it? Tell my dad?"
Old Guy: "She doesn't have to," (They all turn around to see the old guy.)
Somora: (Sweetly) "Daddy?"
Old Guy: "Yes, I'm here my daughter." (He extends his arms. She goes to hug him, but before she can he pulls out a chainsaw and saws off her head. He laughs.)
Piper: (Uneasy.) "T-thanks, I think," (She holds Wyatt.)
Old Guy: "Don't mention it."
Piper: "How'd you know we needed your help?"
Old Guy: "Well you remember in my lighthouse how I had all those TV's everywhere?" (Piper nods.) "Well they're connected to a bunch of surveillance cameras I installed when I lived here. I use them to spy on you and your sisters, especially the slutty one." Oh, that narrows it down!
Piper: "That's sick, but we're still grateful."
Old Guy: "Oh and don't worry, you're secret's safe with me."
Piper: (uneasily) "W-what secret?" (He winks at her and leaves.)
Wyatt: "What are we gonna do with daddy's, Auntie Paige's, and Somora's bodies?"
Piper: (She looks at the well.)
Note: Only one guinea pig was harmed in the making of this chapter…but he's better now.
Ok, weird, go review while I go to therapy.