General Author's Notes: This is my first Harry Potter fanfiction, though it is certainly not my first fanfiction. I had quite a bit of fun writing this, as it features my favorite couple: Remus/Tonks. I wrote this for the first challenge in the Wotcherwerewolf community on Livejournal, and I am quite proud as to how it turned out.
I did have this edited by my faithful beta reader, and would like to thank her dearly for her advice/suggestions. However, I know I can still improve as a writer, so if you see anything that you feel needs adjusting, please do inform me. Constructive criticism is very much appriciated, so long as you're polite about it. I don't condone, nor do I write flames, so please don't do it.
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of "Harry Potter" in any way, shape, or form.
Can't Fight the Moonlight
The moon taunted him through his cracked window. What others would consider eloquence grinned garishly at his misshapen form. Her rays of silver were far too bright. He had no choice but to look away. Like a cheap whore, the moon flaunted an aura of loveliness, when in reality she was nothing more than a wicked trickster.
He growled as he lost his grip on his human senses, becoming fully wolf. He glanced down at his large, elongated paws through the hungry eyes of the creature he had transformed into. With the lack of his potion, he had permitted his inner predator full reign over his body.
He paused for but a moment. He felt his ears twitch, in search of whatever it was that had caught his attention. The word was embossed upon his mind, a familiar imprint that would never go away. Prey.
He sniffed, his heightened senses picking up the scent of the noise he'd just heard. He set off running, quick, yet steady, in the direction he felt the location of the prey was. His hunger ruled over him, dictating his every move. It was incredibly satisfying, the hunt. The chase usually overrode the thrill of catching the hunted.
Blurs of various colors passed him by as he ran, certain of the direction in which he was heading. He had no room to care. What mattered was the game he was playing. He had to be sure he would come out the winner. But then, what did he have to fear? He knew he was capable of out running, out maneuvering any who crossed his path.
It was seconds later that he saw it. A flash of bright pink caught his watching eye, and he knew he'd reached sight of his desire, his meal. He was pleased as the creature turned around. Horror and despair filled its eyes. There was nothing more satisfying than the scent of hopelessness on a victim.
It wasn't long before he had it cornered. His eyes lit up at the traces of dread he smelled from his distance. There was no more hope for this sorry creature. He paused, though. He hadn't played with his quarry in quite some time. And in his eager mood, he was more than happy to play a game.
He growled, wondering what sort of reaction it would elicit from the pink-haired thing. His mirth grew from the barely audible squeak she released. This was going to be fun indeed…
He barked, taking a few steps forward, and this time, its cries were louder, more desperate. Oh how he relished in the melody of her screams.
"R-Remus." It stuttered, unable to keep the fear out of its voice.
He paused, amused by her desperation. But he was also now confused. This creature's measly patch of fur had once been a bright shade of pink. Now it had dulled to a most plain shade of brown. And that word. What could it possibly mean?
He growled again, wondering if his prey was behind all of this, trying to confuse him, to distract him. Well he'd had his share of this game. It was time he put an end to the miserable creature's life, claiming it as his own.
In a flash he was upon it, smothering her pain-filled cries with his fur covered body. He ripped away at her throat, lusting for the crimson contents within as if he were dying of starvation. Within moments, her eyes had closed for good, and he became lost in his world of distorted beauty and desire…
Remus Lupin bolted up in his bed, alarmed. He'd had nightmares before, but none had seemed quite as real and as gruesome as the recent scene that plagued his sleep. "Merlin's beard." He muttered to himself, putting a hand over his chest to still his panicking heart. He glanced around to see his environment remained dark, a good sign. It meant that it had only been a dream, nothing more.
The next full moon was a month away, thank God. Remus tried to calm his uneven breaths. It wasn't real. It didn't happen. It was just stress. He tried to convince himself of his innocence, but his inner skeptic wasn't taking it so well. It could have been real. It could have happened. There are no such things as coincidences.
All his mind could see was him, transformed as a wolf, ripping apart the flesh of the most meaningful person in his life. Tonks. Her name flashed across his mind, and a chill that had nothing to do with the cool summer evening held him in a death grip. In his dreams he had killed her. He had drunken her blood as if he were a vampire, tearing open her flesh as if he had no heart. That had to be significant in some way. Especially since the same vision had been haunting him for the past week.
He couldn't break up with her. He knew that much. He cared for her as he had no one else previously. He needed her to feel whole, to feel wanted. She gave his life a sense of purpose. He had another, concrete reason to win the present war against darkness. She was his love, and he only hoped that the images within his dream symbolized more than their literal meanings.
He calmed a bit, thinking of Tonks. Or rather, Nymphadora Tonks. Tonks would murder anyone who dared to call her by her full name. Remus smirked, pitying the poor fools who hadn't known any better. He liked thinking of her as his nymph. And over the past year, as they had gotten to know each other more intimately, he found the courage to speak it to her aloud. And he had been delighted when she told him in a whisper that she loved it.
She was so…indescribable. He sighed. As a metamorphmagus, she could change her appearance at will. Remus always was amused to see what crazy, out-of-this world look she would sport next. But that detail seemed parallel to jewelry; it wasn't as necessary or as important to an outfit, but when used it did seem to add flare to the outfit. No, what truly attracted Remus to Tonks was her spirit, her personality. From the determination she wore day-in-day-out to the abrasiveness of her retorts, everything about her seemed to glow.
Remus thought for a moment. No, not glow. The word glow conjured images of fragile, delicate light. It brought gentleness to mind. All of which were characteristics that hardly fit his nymph. Spark. There was the word he searched for. Tonks sparked, and Remus, being the introvert that he was, knew that he couldn't look away, couldn't bring himself to even want to ignore her. Her presence was loud, fierce, and bright. She was the bold lightning to his reluctant thunder.
He felt the mattress beneath him shift, and turned to see if Tonks had stirred beside him. He found his answer within the wide, doe like eyes that met his inquisitive gaze.
"Remus?" Tonks yawned. Merlin only knew the time of night it was. Not that it really mattered to her. She hadn't been able to sleep the entire night. Bloody insomnia. "Remus," she repeated, unsure if he'd heard her the first time. "Was it that dream again?"
"Yes." He answered her, looking away as if he were ashamed. Which he probably was, knowing him. Tonks sighed. He'd been having the same dream now for little over a week, ever since they… She couldn't suppress her grin at the thought of that little escapade.
Remus looked at her closely, taking notice of her blissful smile. "Why are you smiling?"
Tonks felt her grin growing wider, becoming slightly tinged by embarrassment. After all, Remus's dreams were a serious matter. "I was thinking about last week." She couldn't help but feel satisfied at the creeping blush on her lover's face. It was very much like Remus to go red at the mentioning of something even slightly naughty.
"Yeah?" A rare smile graced his face, siding with the moonlight to give him a surreal, almost fey appearance. Tonks was pleased that he hadn't been disappointed. "What about last week?"
Tonks shuddered with delight. In the darkened times they dwelt in, it was none too often she could find Remus teasing, being playful. But her mirthful shivers sobered when another aspect of last week's adventure reared its head. Tonks instantly dropped her smile. She knew she had to tell him eventually.
It wasn't as though her secret were dark and mysterious. That sort of thing was too melodramatic for her tastes, anyway. She just didn't know what Remus's reactions would be when he discovered that she was carrying his children, twins.
She closed her eyes for a second, remembering all too clearly the morning after, the day that had changed her life.
Tonks rose from her slumber, turning to glance at the gorgeous man still sleeping beside her. Last night they had finally done it. They had made love for the very first time.
She felt elated. Hardly anything could take away her joy, her thrill of no longer being a, well, virgin. She felt herself go red, thinking about the comfort and caress of his kisses upon her bared body, the unique feel of his hands on her skin. She shivered. What a night it had been.
She picked herself up from the bed, shuddering at the sudden burst of cool, morning air that greeted her unclothed form. She made her way to the bathroom they shared, only pausing to gather freshly laundered clothes from her dresser.
It was then that she felt it. Two spontaneous pulses from inside her stomach. She gasped, clutching her somewhat rounded tummy. Bloody hell. What in Merlin's name was that? She was disturbed. Odd movements in people's bellies were definitely not normal.
A possibility sneaked into her mind, one that she didn't care to acknowledge. It just wasn't possible, her being pregnant. She and Remus had taken every precaution known to the magical world.
Her false hope was quickly dismantled by a distant memory she had of her mother. Her mother had, in great detail unfortunately, told of her own pregnancy with her. She was left breathless by her mother's words: "As witches, we womenfolk hold an advantage over Muggle women. We can detect the presence of our young the very next day."
But she had to be sure. Abandoning thoughts of a lovely, hot shower for the moment, she hurriedly dressed herself and scribbled a note to Remus. Something about running errands to keep him from getting suspicious. And then she was out the door, awaiting official diagnosing for her condition.
Tonks opened her eyes, remembering the sense of awe and dread that'd crawled down her spine like some spider at the mediwitch's confirmation of her pregnancy. Twins, for Merlin's sake. Of course, Remus didn't know yet. How could he? Tonks was unsure even now of what his reaction would be.
And his constant dream of him tearing her apart only further added to her misery of keeping a secret from him. He'd said the dream began the night after they'd made love…
"Nymph?" Remus's concerned toned and use of her pet name interrupted her train of thought.
"Yes?" She replied, not looking him straight in the eye, though she was tickled somewhat at the sound of her nickname. Remus was the only one who could get away with calling her that. Everyone else would be as good as dead.
"Are you alright?" He asked, moving forward to embrace her. She happily welcomed his arms around her. His warmth comforted her, giving her the confidence to at last confess to him.
She raised herself to look at Remus directly, bringing her determined gaze to meet his confused and worried one. "Remus," she began, not exactly sure how she could word her situation. "there's something I need to tell you." She glanced at him, wondering how he was taking it in so far. His grip tightened, alerting her to his undivided attention and grim unease.
"Yes?" He hinted for her to continue, which was all the encouragement she needed.
"I'm pregnant." There. She'd said it. She watched as his bemused expression changed into one of shock. His eyes widened.
"Oh." His voice was barely above a whisper.
"It's not just one baby, though. Remus, I'm pregnant with twins."
The silence that the phrase induced seemed to linger for eternity. Tonks gulped, wondering what would happen now. Would he be angry with her, thinking her careless? Would he be angry with himself for letting this happen despite it being both of their faults? Or would he leave her, disgusted by the idea of her being pregnant? She felt on the verge of tears, sitting, waiting in the lone silence of the dark.
The warmth of his lips on hers startled her. She had not anticipated this reaction. She gasped when he pulled away, both wanting more and wanting an explanation for his action.
"I've always wanted kids." The grin he wore seemed to brighten the darkness as if it were the moon itself. "I was never sure I'd be able to have any though, with my…condition." His face darkened for a moment. Tonks grabbed his hand in understanding. She knew how Remus felt about being a werewolf.
"So, you're not mad at me?" She inquired, feeling her previous doubts gradually disappear.
"Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you? Although it's a little sooner than expected, it's not an unwelcome surprise." He squeezed her tight, and Tonks felt as if she could've drowned in the amount of love she had for him.
"Twins, my God." He whispered. "Do you know if they're going to be boys or girls?"
Tonks shook her head. "I'm sure if I really wanted to know, I could look up the potion or spell. But personally, I'd rather be surprised."
He grinned at her again, which to Tonks, made him seem younger. "I would too." He agreed before a mischievous gleam entered into his eyes. "I can only imagine what they'll look like. I can see it now: Multi-coloured werepups!"
Tonks burst out laughing at that, the image of rainbow coloured werepups too amusing to bear. She loved it when Remus found the nerve to be outspoken and humorous. In her opinion, it didn't happen often enough. She looked up to see him giggling along, and with her smile becoming wicked, she reached up and tickled him senseless. He wasn't going down without a fight, as was his nature, and she gasped as his own offense of wiggling fingers began their assault.
Their shared amusement gradually died down, and soon they were both lying against one another, taking simple pleasure in the other's company. It was against Remus's chest, her pillow, that Tonks felt her eyes growing heavier and heavier. She was anticipating sleep at any moment when Remus shifted suddenly, causing her to drop against their bed sheets with an audible "Oof!"
She sat up quickly, wondering what it was that caused Remus to act so suddenly, so nervously. "Remus? Are you alright?"
"My dream." He said, an odd, unreadable expression masking his face, obscuring what he was really thinking from Tonks. "I started having it around the same time you found out you where pregnant."
Tonks gasped. She hadn't even thought of that. "You're right. But what could that mean?"
She watched as Remus contorted his features in concentration, thinking. Her once smiling mouth was now creased in a tense, serious frown. What role did Remus's dream play in her pregnancy?
"I think," he said at last, his expression still grim. "I think that I, in killing you in wolf form, symbolized your reluctance to tell me about the pregnancy. In my dream you were afraid of me, and I was every bit of a fearsome beast." His expression saddened. "I'm a fool for taking the dream so literally. I should have been able to pick up on the fact that you were hiding something from me." His frown became a rueful smile, and Tonks began to regret ever keeping such a secret from him.
"I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner. You deserved to know. After all, you are the father." She grinned at this, the image of Remus struggling with two little tots lightening her mood a bit. "But you were upset by your dream, and I didn't want to do anything more to sour your mood. You're too serious for you own good, you know."
He glanced at her, his smile genuine this time. "I know. But you don't have to apologize. I'm not blaming you or anything. In fact, I shouldn't be so surprised by how you've acted. You're so young." He frowned again. Tonks knew he felt somewhat guilty about being older than she was.
"I don't care." She whispered, smiling. "Besides, I think I'll make a great mum, don't you?"
His solemn expression melted into a mockery of one. "If you don't scare our children by constantly changing your looks-ow!" He jokingly cried out as she hit him with a pillow. "A great example you're setting for our children."
She grinned. "Not as great of an example as the bloody genius they've got for a father." She surprised both herself and Remus as she leaned closer towards him. He soon got over the initial shock of their closeness and met her halfway.
And then they were kissing-long, hard, passionate. Tonks refused to think of anything else. All that she would allow herself to see was her and Remus, entangled in their love under the watchful eye of the moon, the queen of the night sky. They both knew the moon as a cruel mistress to Remus, but now she seemed to bless them, looking in on them from behind the scattered clouds. For they now carried children, conceived under the moon's illuminating grace. They had at last accepted that they couldn't fight the moonlight that had shone upon their lives