Hattarino is so Cute!
Chapter 8: No Magic! Is this really worth the trouble? (Part 1)
Disclaimer: NO, DARNIT! Why do I have to admit this painful truth for the eighth time!
"Oi. Oiiiiiii?" Hattarino's impatient voice wouldn't let Hitteh Pitteh get her sleep peacefully. Arrrgh! It was so irritating! Why couldn't a hard-working magician get a decent night's sleep! It just wasn't fair.
"Oi! Hitteh Pitteh-sama?" Hattarino's persistent voice repeated for the thirty-seventh time. Believe me, she had been counting. She moaned and rolled over, trying to drown out the voice.
"OIIIII! HITTEH PITTEH!" Hattarino yelled, jabbing Hitteh Pitteh with the tip of his sword. Wait... sword?
"SHARP OBJECTSSSSS!" Hitteh Pitteh screeched, leaping out of bed in a dramatic reflex.
"Sorry I had to do that," Hattarino sighed apologetically, sheathing his sword, "But I've been calling you for the past ten minutes!"
"How'd you get in here! I thought I put a locking charm on this door," Hitteh Pitteh muttered, staring suspiciously at the door.
"...Uh... well... I guess there wasn't one since I could get in..." Hattarino murmured, staring at Hitteh Pitteh like she was stupid.
"Darnitall! Why did the charm come off! LOCK!" Hitteh Pitteh swiped her hand through the air, expecting to see the familiar green beam shoot from her hand and hit the doorknob. But she was instead greeted with an overwhelming wave of pain. She collapsed on the bed, wondering why her magic hadn't worked.
"Do you always lose your memory over the night or something? Your magic won't work until late tonight or tomorrow morning," Hattarino explained. Hitteh Pitteh suddenly remembered the busy night from before.
"Aw... That's why. Then I suppose that you came in here to ask if we could leave for the store?" Hitteh Pitteh questioned, stiffly rising into a seating position.
"Mmm-hmm! Mmm-hmm! I really crave the taste of steak! I can't wait much longer," Hattarino squealed, hopping up and down impatiently.
"Can't you just survive without food for one day! Do you know how long it takes ta get to the grocery store?" Hitteh Pitteh asked, leaning lazily against the bed's head rest.
"Nooooooooo! Hattarino can't survive without food!" Hattarino whined, bouncing on the bed impatiently.
"But I'm sore all over! I'll KILL my feet walking to the store!" Hitteh Pitteh complained, rubbing one of her heels tenderly.
"No worries! We can ride on Cahir-sama!" Hattarino suggested brightly, pointing to the still-spinning Cahir.
"CAHIR! But... how do you know his name?" Hitteh Pitteh asked curiously.
"I talked with him a bit this morning. He can understand me, although I don't speak rocking chair," Hattarino explained.
"But he won't work without breakfast. And we have no candy corns!" Hitteh Pitteh pointed out. Hattarino thought about this before answering.
"Maybe he'll work for free?" Hattarino suggested, shrugging doubtfully. Cahir, oblivious to the conversation they were having, continued spinning around in his corner of the room.
"Doubt it," Hitteh Pitteh answered bluntly, miming his shrug.
"OIIIIII! OIIIIII! CAHIR-SAAAAAAN!" Hattarino called. The chair broke out of his spinning cycle and faced Hattarino, rocking back and forth restlessly.
"Can you take us to the grocery store? I'll buy you some candy corn?" Hattarino coaxed. Cahir seemed to be considering this.
"YOU have money to buy candy corn!" Hitteh Pitteh asked in amazement.
"No! YOU'RE going to buy it for him, Hitteh Pitteh-sama!" Hattarino explained, giving her one of the 'you're-the-stupidest-person-in-the-world' looks.
"ME! And how much money do ya think I have? All I have is couple of monies that I created before I lost my magic!" Hitteh Pitteh protested, glaring at the troublesome egg.
"Would you rather walk all the way to the grocery store AND back!" Hattarino hissed.
"Well, n-no... but..." Hitteh Pitteh stammered, caught off guard by this question.
(:Curtains are drawn back to reveal Miki-Chan and Yae-Chan:
Miki-Chan: Ahhhh... that was a great soda at El Big Em's!
Yae-Chan: Yes, it was. But we were there for a long time...
Miki-Chan: Yeah! Wasn't it fun? So... should we get started on Chapter eight?
Yae-Chan: You mean you didn't finish chapter eight before we left!
Yae-Chan: But... but... you've kept the readers waiting for so long!
Miki-Chan: Aw, who cares about them. What's our next explanation- thingie?
Yae-Chan: Look at me and listen CLOSELY!
Yae-Chan: I DID NOT WRITE THIS BOOK; YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE TO KNOW THESE THINGS!
Miki-Chan: Okay, okay! Sheesh! Some people these days...
Yae-Chan: So... what are we explaining?
Miki-Chan: The money system in Hitteh Pitteh's universe.
Yae-Chan: Okay. Let's check in the book!
Miki-Chan: :pulls 'Miki-Chan's Confusing Explanations' from her kimono sleeve: Here we go... Ahem...
'Chapter 1,820: The Money System'
Yae-Chan: So many chapters!
Miki-Chan: Yeah, but each chapter is only, like a paragraph long!
'The coins AND bills in the money system are all called, 'Monies'. There are three different kinds of coins. The blue ones, which are equivalent to half of a penny. The yellow ones, which are equivalent to a whole penny. And the red ones, which are worth a penny and a half. There is only on bill (which is rainbow-colored). It is worth about twenty bucks!'
Yae-Chan: That's the stupidest money system I've ever heard of!
Miki-Chan: Well, if I would have just said: 'Yae-Chan, what is your opinion about Hitteh Pitteh's money system?' then it would have been appropriate for you to say that nasty little comment. But I didn't. So that means that that was a bad, bad, meanie thing that you just said.
Miki-Chan: Besides, I think that that money system ROCKS THIS WORLD!
Yae-Chan: Who says, 'ROCKS THIS WORLD' anymore? ''Tis' is the total rage right now!
Yae-Chan: Yeah. 'Tis! EVERYONE says 'tis right now! Why... even Mr. Policeman say 'Tis!
Miki-Chan: Mr... Policeman?
Yae-Chan: Yeeeeees... you know Mr. Policeman... riiiiiiiiight?
Miki-Chan: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! :wakes up screaming:
Miki-Chan: Oh... it was jut a baaaaad dream. A very bad dream. Phewf... Sheesh! I always say 'tis, so I knew that something was wrong. At least the money system was explained though...
Do not ask me to explain that last explanation thingie. You shall never know who Mr. Policeman really is, or why he is so baaaaaad as well. So enjoy your life wondering... wondering about this puzzling explanation. )
After a little bit of thought, Cahir agreed to let Hitteh Pitteh and Hattarino ride him to the grocery store. The only problem was:
"I'm going to die," Hitteh Pitteh stated, flopping on her baggy, leather chair in defeat.
"Why?" Hattarino asked, jumping into the comfortable chair beside her. Cahir had bounced after them down the stairs and was now spinning in eagerly, almost able to taste the candy corn that was soon to come.
"Cahir doesn't 'walk' or 'bounce'. He SPINS," Hitteh Pitteh groaned.
"So?" Hattarino was still unable to see what she was so worked up about.
"I get dizzy. VERY EASILY," Hitteh Pitteh explained, shooting him a killer look of death-ness.
"Awwww... I see," Hattarino answered shortly, "Just deal with it."
"C-cruuuuuuuel..." Hitteh Pitteh moaned in a voice filled with dismay, slowly oozing off of the leather chair, consumed entirely by a gloom-cloud.
"Oi. OI?" Hattarino called, sighing as he realized that Hitteh Pitteh had once again slipped out of consciousness. He considered splashing a bucket of water over her, but what was the fun in that? Hattarino held his sword in front of him, a tiny smile curving across his mouth from behind the stick held in his mouth. Hitteh Pitteh sure was funny.
End Note: I'M SOOOOOORRRRYYY! I took so darned long for this teeny little scramble of words that MIGHT even be worth being called a chapter. Anyways, I'll try to be faster this time. Let's start off with a bang now:
Response to Readers WITH A BANG:
Yexis Metallium: Eh, plans? What plans? Anyways, I didn't update very fast, huh? Oh well... don't kill me or anything. Wow. Everyone likes Cahir. I thought that people would... like him. But not be all fangirly-ish over him. Oh, well. Rocking chairs rock this world (there I go with rock this world- 'tis is all the rage now, ya know!)
And as for the plot... well... it's just adventures, basically. There might be a part of the story at the end that's a little more serious and plotty, but not TOO serious and plotty. So, yeah.
vampire cuttlefish: Staek flavored candy? Bwah hah hah! Anyways, I shouldn't have made Hattarino so steak obsessed. He only wanted steak once, and besides, he was eating these dumpling things with all the other eggs in, like, disk four. So he says, "ze yo", huh? Well, that's cool, but I have no word to tie it onto, so I can't add that after every sentence.
T-T-T-T-TILL NEXT TIME!