Rating: PG-13 or T- I have a few potty words in here

Spoilers: All seasons I guess

Pairing: Literati. Is there anyone else?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, if I did Lit would still be together. Please don't sue, it's not like you'll get anything. 14 year old freshman poor

Words: 2,182- short I know, but it's actually the longest thing I've written sadly.

Finished: August 15, 2005

Feedback: very much appreciated

A/N: Hi! I just wrote this, it took a couple of hours. It's the longest thing I've written, sad I know. I got the idea in English today I think. It's only the second day of school and my teacher had us write some things about ourselves and I think that inspired this. That and the fact that I won't have cable till Thursday I think, which means you won't get to read this until then. It's not that great, my writing never is. But I'm bored out my mind, it's midnight, and I have absolutely nothing to do. Tell me what you think about it; yes, no, maybe, so? Oh by the way, the italics represent flashbacks except the last one is actually the future. I hope you like!

A/N2: Ok, so it's now Monday and I redid a paragraph in this fic, the first one didn't fit so I rewrote. As it turns out we got our cable back today. Yay! Internet! I'm soooo happy. I finally got to check my mail. Anyways, this is just a little one-parter. It's probably OOC, sorry if it is. But oh well, it's fan fiction. I hope you like it.


When I'm in a crowd

Or on an island by myself

Silent or too loud

Wishing I was somewhere else

And I can't believe

You hit me fast and hard

When you turn to me and say

Never change the way you are

Trying to catch your eye

Things will never look the same

Now I can't deny

You're the moth and I'm the flame

There I go again

I should walk before I run

How can I explain

I can't stop what you've begun

I'm falling through the door

Flying 'cross the floor

When you look at me suddenly it's clear

You're turning up my dreams

Crazy as it seems

I don't wanna be anywhere but here

Anywhere but here

What goes on inside

Is a mystery no doubt

A roller coaster ride

I may never work it out

Here's the brand new me

Skates around and floats on air

I'm a sight to see

Rainbow colors in my hair

You have set me free

The one who gets me there

I'm falling through the door

Flying 'cross the floor

When you look at me suddenly it's clear

Here is the place where

My head is spinning

Time is beginning

To race away

You come to throw me

Knock my off my feet

You give me wings to fly

The world goes crashing by again

I'm falling through the door

Flying 'cross the floor

When you look at me suddenly it's clear

-Hilary Duff

Anywhere But Here


My name is Rory Gilmore. I'm a senior at Yale University. I'm from a small town called Stars Hollow. I've lived a pretty ideal life. My mother is my best friend, always has been. She's married to a wonderful man whom I've always thought of as a father. My own father pops up occasionally, usually just causing us more pain. When I was 16 I fell in love with a boy named Dean. We had a great relationship. Everything in my life was going straight; I was going to an excellent school that would eventually get me into Harvard, my mom and I were as close as ever, and I had the perfect boyfriend. And then one day, a new boy came to town and my whole world changed.

"Hi, I'm Rory," I say politely.

"Jess," he replies nonchalantly.

Jess was everything that my town hated. He was the bad boy, the rebel without a cause. He was the sarcastic, smart-ass from New York who threatened to ruin their picture perfect little town. He was the complete opposite of Dean. He was rude, monosyllabic, bad tempered, and he never let anyone know what he was feeling. And I couldn't get enough of him.

"What are you reading?" I ask as I sit next to him on the bridge.

"The Da Vinci Code," he answers not looking up from his book.

Of course my boyfriend wasn't so happy about that. As it turns out, most guys don't like it when their girlfriends spend all their free time with another guy instead of them. Who'd of thunk? I'm honestly surprised Dean stuck around as long as he did. Now don't get me wrong, I loved Dean. He was a very important part of my life and I felt terrible for hurting him. He truly didn't deserve it. I wouldn't have strung him along as long I did, but I just couldn't bring myself to break up with him. Not because I was afraid to hurt him, I didn't want to but that's not the reason; but because I knew that if our relationship ended, my perfect life would be ruined. I would have to face up to the fact that I was, indeed, in love with Jess and admitting that would change everything. The once perfect relationship with my mother would be tarnished. The townspeople would look at me disappointedly and gossip about me while my back was turned. I wasn't ready for that. But as it turns out, it wasn't so bad. I would have thought that when Dean broke up with me that I would at least be a little bit heartbroken, but I was fine. I was a little sad, Dean was my first love after all, but that was it. I didn't have to pretend to be in love with him anymore and he didn't have to pretend to believe it.

"Do you need to wallow?" my mom asks me.

"No, I'm good," I tell her.

"Are you sure? You do remember what happened last time, right?" she asks, making sure that I really am fine and am not lying.

"I'm fine, it's refreshing actually. No more pretending." I assure her. And it's true. I don't need to wallow, I really am ok.

I was so worried about keeping my perfect world from shattering that I never actually thought about what would happen if it did. Yes, I thought about what the townspeople would think, what my grandparents reaction would be, and of course about what my mother's feelings would be. But not once did I think about myself and how it would make me feel. Who knew it could be so wonderful? To me, being in love is the best feeling in the world if you let it be and the harder you fall the greater it is. I'm not saying it was all perfect, far from it. But it was one of the best times of my life and when I think back to it I can't help but smile. When most people break up they usually focus on all the bad times, but I like to focus on the good.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks, making sure that I really want this.

"Positive, I'm ready." I assure him. And I am, I haven't been more sure of anything in my life. I love him and I want to share this with him. I want to be with him in every way possible.

When Jess walked into my life I knew he would turn my whole world upside down . What I didn't know was that that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He challenged me, helped me become the person I wanted to be, not the person I was. He never sugarcoated things, he told me the cold hard truth. No matter if I wanted to hear it or not. And he made me feel things I had never felt before: passion, fire, true love, longing, pain. Nobody could love me the way he did. Nobody could hurt me the way he did.

"Don't you get it? I know your hurting and I want to help you. But it hurts so bad when you push me away. Please don't close yourself off, just let me in." I beg, tears streaming down my face.

I knew that he loved me, even before the firelights festival. It was in the way his eyes lit up for a brief moment whenever he saw me, before they went back to his normal blank expression. It was in the way he'd kiss my forehead whenever we were reading or the way he'd always touch me. Even when we were sitting on a bench staring at our shoes we'd always sit knee-to-knee, hip-to-hip, shoulder-to-shoulder. It was in the way he'd look at me with his big brown eyes letting me see into his soul, leaving himself vulnerable and open for hurt. They say a person's eyes are the windows to their soul, with Jess there couldn't be anything truer. Everything he feels you can see in his eyes. Pain, love, happiness, amusement, annoyance; it's all there, you just have to look deep enough to find it.

He's hurting, I can see it. It's hidden deep inside those beautiful brown eyes of his but I know it's there. He doesn't want anyone to see, he doesn't want to be left vulnerable and open for the world to see. He's afraid they might hurt him even more. I just wish that I could take away all of his pain.

Every time he walks back into my life, no matter how long it is: a few days, a couple of hours, he turns it upside down. Except this time, it was a good thing. He helped me pick up the pieces of my life and put them back together. He was there for me when I needed him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here. You shouldn't have to listen to my problems while I cry all over you." I say while getting ready to leave, feeling foolish for coming in the first place.

"It's okay. I'm glad that you trust me enough to come to me with your problems. I'm always here for you," he assures me with a slight smile.

I just smile back at him and he envelopes me in a hug.

He came back to help his mom and her husband move into their new house in Stars Hollow. I ran into him one morning in a bookstore in Hartford. Normally I would have just left once I saw him but for some reason I felt the need to stay. After a little bit of uncomfortable silence and some awkward small talk we began to get to know each other again. We went for coffee and filled each other in on all the things that had happened in our lives since he left for California. I told him about Dean, Yale, Logan, and living in the pool house while he told me about his mom and dad, California, and what NYU is like.

" Most of the classes are pretty easy, some of them are a little harder than others but it's nothing that I can't handle. The teachers are pretty cool also, but I do have this one who's a complete ass," he tells me before taking a sip of his drink.

I had forgotten how easy it was to talk to Jess, share all my problems with him while he listened intently. He never judged me, he just listened. I never had to worry about disappointing him when I made a mistake or did something I regretted. He was the only one I could be myself around completely, flaws and all. To the town I was 'Princess Rory', but to Jess I was just Rory. He knew I wasn't perfect, he never expected me to be. He loved me because of my imperfections, not in spite of them.

" I can't do it anymore! They expect me to be perfect. Little Miss Town Princess. Don't they understand that I'm not anywhere near perfect. I'm so tired of worrying about disappointing them. It's driving me insane," I rant while pacing around the kitchen in Luke's apartment.

" Then don't worry about it. Who cares what they think? They can't honestly expect you to be perfect, it just isn't possible," he tells me.

After I quit Yale, I felt as though I had ruined my life. Jess took it upon himself to help me fix it. He was the one who convinced me to go back to Yale and not give up on my dream. He helped me fix my broken relationship with my mom. He was the one who believed in me; he helped me believe in myself. Without him, my life would have crumbled. Just as my relationship with Logan did.

"He needs me," I tell him.

"I need you too. You're my girlfriend." He tells me angrily, "you have to choose Ace, me or Jess?"

"Don't make me choose, you won't like the answer." I tell him firmly.

Logan wasn't the one I needed. It was never his comforting words I wanted to hear when I felt all alone, nor was he the one I went to when I needed someone to listen to my dreams, feelings, hopes, fears, or just the random thoughts going through my mind. He wasn't the one I wanted to hold me when I cried. He wasn't the one I wanted to wake up next to in the morning. He wasn't the one I dreamed about at night. He wasn't the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He wasn't the one whom with just one glance could tell that something was wrong with me, no matter how good I was at faking that there wasn't. He wasn't the one I was in love with.

"I want to be with you, Jess, not Logan." I tell him, hoping he feels the same way.

"Good, because I want to be with you too," he tells me with a smile before kissing me.

Jess is my best friend. He means everything to me and I love him completely. He's a part of me, he's my other half. He's my soul mate and without him I would be nothing.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

I turn to Jess and he gives me the sweetest kiss I've ever known. This is the happiest day of my life.


A/N3: So what did you think? Was it total suckage or was it actually ok? Please R&R and tell me what you think.