Season: Two
Spoliers: None!
Beta: None (this time)
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate or Stargate Atlantis. Nope. I just play in their sandbox.

"C'mon Rodney, say something!"

Atlantis's resident Canadian genius didn't make a sound.

"Rodney… Please? Say something. Anything!" John asked, almost begged the astrophysicist.



There was a burst of an exasperated breath.

"I'm not speaking to you!" McKay finally said, in a snarky huff.

"You just did."

"Only to tell you that I wasn't."

"Yes, but you still spoke to me."

"What part of 'I'm not speaking to you!' do you not understand, Sheppard?"

John thought about that for a moment. "The part where you are speaking to me to tell me you aren't?"

"Oh my god, are you twelve years old?" Rodney snapped.. and then realized he'd actually spoken in a way that clearly denoted he wasn't not speaking to John. With a huff he fell silent again.

After a few long minutes John sighed deeply. "You can't still be mad at me!"

"And why not?" Rodney asked, dropping any pretense that he wasn't speaking to Sheppard.

"Because it wasn't my fault!"

"Wasn't your fault?" Rodney cried accusingly. "You're the one who told the priestess that their beloved goddess's statue looked like an aardvark on angel dust."

"Well, I didn't think they knew what angel dust was. Let alone an aardvark" John pointed out.

"Yes, I guessed that when you actually tried explaining it to them. Which, I may point out, got us here."

And with that Rodney jerked in his bonds. The coarse rope bit at his wrists which were tied above his head, along with Shepherds, and held them both suspended over the overly large cooking pot which bubbled with oil.

"So you can see how I just may find this entire revolting predicament your fault!" The scientist accused his so called friend.

"Well… if you put it that way…"

Mckay snorted. "I am so not talking to you anymore." He griped as somewhere off to the side one of the natives began lowering the pair.

Shepherd looked down at the boiling cauldron as it got closer and closer.

"But you just did…."

McKay groaned. "Please.. Someone lower us a little faster?" he pleaded.

Authors note: Don't know why I wrote this. It just came to me while I was at work. And I needed something to write that wasn't my other story for a moment. Should it stay a one shot? Or maybe become a series of oneshots? Please Read and Review!