Kya Says:

My apologies to anyone this offends. That's a great way to start a fiction, isn't it?

This is NOT edited. NOT aimed at any particular story. NOT parodying any particular character. NOT intended to mock any author.

Having said THAT… I have no rights, legal or otherwise, to the TMNT. I make no money off of this. I will never publish it formally and receive no publicity or kickbacks from it.

It just makes me laugh. I'm still working on my serious fictions… really.

Attempt Number: 001

Mary Sue stepped off the bus into the summer sun. She tossed her head back and let a warm breeze caress her loose red hair that fanned around her flaming waves. Her sundress fit her slender frame like a glove, showing just the right amount of cleavage and flowing in loose modesty around her hips and down just above her knees. She clutched the leather sack that held all her worldly possessions, knowing that a new life awaited her here.

Smiling, she silently greeted NEW YORK CITY. There had to be a future for her here. Even if the bus station sat in a dirty and desolate section of town. She was only 16, but she was as tough as she was determined!

Mary Sue squared her shoulders and marched right out the bus station doors and was stabbed by a homeless man hopped up on PCP.

She bled to death waiting for an ambulance.

Attempt Number 001: FAILURE.

Lesson Number 001: It's the "Bad Section of Town" for a reason.

Meanwhile, back at the lair…

Leonardo folded his arms. There was no budging him now, and Michaelangelo knew it. "C'mon, Bro! How was I supposed ta know the tub'd fill up that fast?" Mike shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Leonardo's glare hadn't lessened. "Heh… it was an honest mistake, Leo. I was gonna get right back ta it. I just wanted ta have somethin' ta drink… and Don asked me ta help him with stuff… and Raph had the best TV show on and…" Mikey wrung his hands. "C'mon, Leo! I know I shouldn'ta put the bubble bath in right away, but ya gotta get over it!"

Leonardo rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh. "I'll get over it as soon as you clean out my room and get me new carpeting! My room is flooded and smells like bubble bath!"

Mike grinned sheepishly. "There are worst things it could smell like…"

"Get to cleaning, Mike."