Disclaimer – I do not own any rights to the characters or trademarks of "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" or "That's So Raven!" This is intended strictly as a tribute to the series.

Thomas Thurman – Thank you for letting me know how hard you laughed. It's hard for me as a writer to judge whether or not my own jokes are funny.

lengirlfriend – Thank you for letting me know I made your day, and I don't care what Zack and Cody have to say about it!

annie – Thank you for your compliments as well. I happen to be a boy, but I don't see why you'd want to know that.

JediMasterBob – Thank you as well. (I'm running out of thanks here.) You tuned in just in time for the final update.

A/N – And we're back, one last time. If you think all the hijinks that came before this were out of hand, you haven't seen anything yet! This is the totally out-of-control, no-holds-barred, out-of-hand conclusion!

Writing this story has been different for me because usually I know exactly who the culprit is when I start to write a mystery. With this story I just let the plot unfold. I actually finished this story in the first few days I was recovering from my surgery and I've just been uploading it in small, weekly installments. Anyway, at the end I decided to take a page from the movie version of "Clue", in which there are several alternative ending. It made sense to me that, since all through this fanfic the story has been controlled by different characters, there would be several different endings.

THE MOSEBY APARTMENT

Maddie walks in and catches Zack writing.

Maddie: Give me that!

She yanks the story away from Zack.

Maddie: What are you doing with Mr. Moseby's story?

Zack: I'm bringing it to a big finish.

Maddie: No. I am.

They begin to play tug-a-war with the papers. Cody enters and stands by the door.

Cody: Stop! I just figured out who the killers should be!

Maddie: Wait in line.

Chelsea barges through the door, throwing it in Cody's face. After she steps forward, the door swings open and Cody falls forward.

Zack: What are you doing here?

Chelsea: The story was getting so suspenseful. I just wanted to see how it all ends.

Esteban and Raven burst into the room.

There's a lot of screaming and yelling and paper flying in the air. Mr. Moseby calmly walks into the room. He rubs his eyes. Then his jaw drops in sheer horror.

Mr. Moseby: WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

Everyone falls silent, their fingers aiming at each other, except for Chelsea, who is pointing at a random spot on the ceiling for some reason.

Maddie: We just want to know how the story ends.

Mr. Moseby: Calm down for a moment and I'll tell you.

Maddie: You?

Mr. Moseby: Of course me. Being the original author of the story, it's only appropriate that I should get to write the ending. Now, let's see. I've put a lot of thought into this.

THE TIPTON HOTEL

Mr. Moseby stands at the left side of the Tipton lobby, Maddie as his secretary cowering behind him. Maddie as Nanny Dew is sitting on the sofa. London as a socialite is standing on the stairs to the upper level of the lobby. Zack and Cody as mobsters are looking over the railing with Cody as Hercules Toirpot and Zack as Captain Hasty standing below them. London and Maddie as cops are standing in the center of the room. Carey stands behind them surrounded by musical instruments. Esteban, Chelsea, and Arwin are standing at the right side of the room.

Mr. Moseby: This has been a very complicated case. Or at least it was, at first. But then all of the clues came together.

He turns to London.

Mr. Moseby: Ms. Tipton, you said you saw two strange men in your suite before your prized pet disappeared. Tell me; are they in this room right now?

London: Yes, they are! They're right there!

She points to Zack and Cody in their mobster outfits.

Mr. Moseby: Here's how the game played out. Mr. Esteban kidnapped Ms. Tipton's dog to hold it for ransom. He sent those two goons to get the dog for him. But something went wrong. When they brought the dog to Mr. Esteban's hotel, one of the other employees, D. Ceased, found it and felt guilty. He decided to return the pooch. But he made the mistake of returning to the Tipton not carrying only the dog, but the Falcon. Esteban had his men follow Ceased. They ran into him in the lobby and whacked him.

Chelsea: Whacked him with what?

Zack: We already explained this in an earlier chapter, Sweet Thang. Weren't you paying attention?

Mr. Moseby: But there was someone else who knew about the crime. Miss Tolulu, the fortune teller. We ran into Esteban's goons around her tent not too long ago. They stuck a shiv into the poor lady!

Raven enters.

Raven: Did somebody call me?

Maddie: I thought you were dead.

Raven: I didn't like that scene, so now I'm alive again.

THE MOSEBY APARTMENT

There are choruses of "no."

Maddie: That couldn't have been how it happened!

Esteban: Of course not. Mr. Esteban is a law-abiding citizen and would never get mixed up in such a dastardly crime!

Maddie: Esteban, you run an illegal casino and have dealings with the Mob.

Esteban: So? A few small violations. They mean nothing.

Cody: I have a better idea.

THE TIPTON HOTEL

Cody as Toirpot steps forward.

Cody: I have figured out the mystery with all of the little cells in my brain. Mademoiselle Tipton, you say there were strange men in your suite when your dog was kidnap-ed?

London: That's right.

Cody: Are they here now?

London: Yes, they are! They're right there!

She points to Maddie and London in their police uniforms.

Cody (as Toirpot): Inspector Fitzpatrick and Lt. Tipton are not really police officers at all, but are, in reality, stage actors. They came into the hotel in their uniforms to steal the dog and hold it for the reward money. Is that not right, Captain Hasty?

Zack (as Capt. Hasty): Jolly good show, Tar-pot. Whatever you say.

Cody: It is not Tar-pot. It is pronounced "Twarpo"!

Zack: Jolly good. Jolly good.

Cody: Anyways, they encountered D. Ceased in the lobby the following afternoon. He had come to steal another DOG, this one a robot made by Prof. Arwin. There was a scuffle and the phony police officers shot D. Ceased to death!

Maddie (as Nanny Dew to Capt. Hasty): Does that make any sense to you?

Zack: None at all. I just go along with whatever he says. Jolly good! Good show!

THE MOSEBY APARTMENT

Maddie: That's not how it happened at all. Here. Give me the pencil.

THE TIPTON HOTEL

Maddie (as Nanny Dew): This is how it all happened. They're the criminals behind all of this!

She points to Mobster Cody and Gangster Zack.

Zack: Us again?

Maddie: They were trying to steal a dog. Only it wasn't London's dog. It was Prof. Arwin's DOG. But they got their orders mixed up and stole London's dog instead!

Esteban: How could you have gotten my orders mixed up?

Zack: Maybe you could have been a little more specific.

Esteban: How was I not specific?

Cody: You told us to snatch the dog that barked and wagged its tail.

Maddie: So they blackmailed London into stealing Prof. Arwin's DOG. When London and D. Ceased met to trade, something went wrong, and London shot D. Ceased, completely in self-defense!

London: Not true! I couldn't hurt a fly!

An insect stars buzzing around her head. She takes a fly swatter from her purse and hits the insect repeatedly. When she notices everyone eying her suspiciously, she laughs nervously.

Esteban: Then what happened to my Falcon?

Maddie: Prof. Arwin found it and accidentally used it as scrap metal to make his DOG.

Esteban tries to lunge for Arwin, but Chelsea holds him back.

Chelsea: No. That's all wrong, too.

Everyone looks at her.

Chelsea: I mean, isn't it obvious? First of all, Raven, you really are dead.

Raven: Oh, snap!

She buries her face on the nearest tabletop.

Chelsea: Here's how it happened. It all started when Ms. Tipton stole Mr. Esteban's Falcon.

London: Me? Steal something? Why would I want a heavy, hard, ugly, crummy piece of lead …?

She reaches into her purse and pulls out the Falcon.

London: … like this anyway?

Esteban: There it is. The stuff that dreams are made of.

Arwin: Actually, it's more like the stuff pencils are made of.

London throws the Falcon to the side. Esteban tries to lunge for her, but Chelsea and Arwin hold him back.

Chelsea: That's when Esteban tried to get even by sending his goons to capture Ms. Tipton's dog. He was going to trade it for his Falcon.

Esteban: How could you accuse me of such a thing?

There's a loud barking.

Esteban: BARK! BARK! BARK! I am just trying to clear my throat. BARK! BARK! BARK!

A dog climbs out of Esteban's shirt and begins to lick his face. Now London lunges for him, with Mr. Moseby and Maddie as his secretary holding her back.

Chelsea: Then D. Ceased found out about the dog and tried to tell Ms. Tipton about it so he could get the reward money. When he came back here, he was killed.

Carey: By who?

Chelsea: We'll get back to that part later. Because another DOG had been stolen, this one from Prof. Arwin. By them!

She points an accusing finger at Maddie and London in their police uniforms. London isn't paying attention. Instead, she's flirting with a boy.

Maddie: London, you're supposed to be a boy right now.

London: Well, I can't just let the other me have all the fun!

She waves at socialite London.

Chelsea: Those two crooked flatfoots stole the DOG and planned on selling it to an unfriendly foreign power. But when Mr. Moseby took up the case, they got nervous and followed him. They were afraid Miss Tolulu might tell him something about them, so one of them stabbed her in the back. We saw them come in through the back flap of the tent a few minutes later.

Raven lifts her head and looks at Maddie and London.

Raven: Ya nasties!

She drops her head again.

Maddie: Then where'd we stash the DOG?

Chelsea picks up a vase and drops it to the floor. The vase shatters and a small, mechanical dog begins walking and barking over the pieces. It slowly moves towards Arwin and then flies at his chest, pushing him over. The mouth opens and a paper-thin tongue comes out. The head keeps moving up and down in licking motions on Arwin's face. He laughs and keeps saying, "That tickles."

Everyone yells out, "So who killed D. Ceased?" Chelsea points to Carey.

Chelsea: She did! She and D. Ceased used to be boyfriend and girlfriend. When he came here to see Ms. Tipton, he ran into her instead. The two got into a lover's spat. The lady took a gun out of her guitar case and shot D. Ceased to death.

Carey: That's not true!

She opens another case and pulls out a machine gun.

Carey: The gun's in my trombone case.

Several Zacks, Codys, and Estebans burst in wearing police uniforms.

Chelsea: Take them all away, boys! Don't let a single one get away!

Everyone's led away in handcuffs except Chelsea and Mr. Moseby.

Mr. Moseby: You know something? You'd make one fine detective.

Chelsea: You know, honestly, I've been told that before.

Mr. Moseby: You're pretty smart for a dame.

Chelsea: You know, honestly, I don't get that one as much. I've been called a lot of things, but never… What was that word again?

THE MOSEBY APARTMENT

Mr. Moseby: That was the most far-fetched, over-complicated, contrived ending I have ever heard.

Everyone applauds and hoots and hollers. "Great ending, Chels." "That was so clever!" Etc. Etc. Except for Mr. Moseby, who wads the story up into a ball.

Mr. Moseby: So much for being the next Hemingway.

He tosses it into a trash can.

One Week Later…

THE TIPTON HOTEL

Mr. Moseby takes his place behind the front desk of the real Tipton hotel once again. Cody is waiting for him.

Cody: I'm glad to see you back at work, Mr. Moseby.

Mr. Moseby: I'm glad to be back.

Cody: I'm sorry my advice didn't work out.

Mr. Moseby: Nonsense, young man! Your advice worked out perfectly. You know, as a young boy, I wanted to be an author, but I never had the nerve to try it. You encouraged me to use something I seldom get to. My imagination.

Cody: Great! 'Cause I've got some really cool ideas for our next story.

Esteban approaches the desk.

Esteban: Me, too. When do we start?

Maddie and Zack show up and an argument breaks out. Mr. Moseby buries his head in his hands and begins to weep.

A/N – The end credits roll, accompanied by pictures from all seven scenes as an instrumental version of the theme song plays.

This story has been a blast to write and I'm glad so many of you enjoyed it. It's been fun paying tribute to TSL, TSR, Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammet, Agatha Christie, Nancy Drew, and all of those other pop culture icons.

Thank you to all of my readers. More thanks to those of you who actually reviewed.

THE END