"Attack of the Petting Zoo from Hell"

by Mimorinu and imanut

A Furuba and FMA crossover (yay!)

imanut: hello my friends! I've returned and now have a partner in crime!

Mimorinu: Hello imanut's "friends." Hope you like our conjoined story!

imanut: YES! This has been eating at me –er um…us for a long time now. So today we bring you craziness! YAY CRAZY!

Mimorinu: "A long time"? Aww come-on! It's only been itching a day!

imanut: Shush you! They don't need to know that!

Mimorinu: Get on with it already!

Imanut: Fine…KYONKITCHI! DO OUR DISCLAIMER!

Kyou: ….fine….these idiots own nothing…thank God! kicks cameramen ROLL IT! stalks off


Chapter1 A Hazardous Greeting
Roy/Is trying to avoid doing paper work/ "Almost there…." /Gets close to escaping through the door. He opens it and comes face- to-face with Hawkeye's pistol/

Riza H.: "Where do you think you're going, sir?" /Looks annoyed/

Roy/tries to come up with a good excuse to save his ass/

Hughes/Grabs Roy around the shoulder and drags him away from Hawkeye/ "Roy have you seen my new co-worker? I swear she's almost as cute as my 'lil Elysia!"

Roy: "No, not lately. /whispers/ Thanks for saving my butt."

Hughes: "No problem. What are friends for?" /looks around for listeners/ "Now come meet my new co-worker! I'm sure you'll just love her!"

Roy: "Fine. How old is she?"

Hughes/as he begins to answer, he looks in front of him only to stop short to find Shigure running towards them. Uses Roy as human shield/

Roy/is confused but hides it by raising an eyebrow/

Shigure: "Help! Help! Yuki-kun and Kyonkitchi are gonna kill me! I'msoscared/hides behind Hughes/ Hide me! HIDE ME!

Ayame: "'Gure? Where are you! Yuki and Kyou think it's my fault they tripped and kissed! They're after me for your mistake! Help/hides behind Shigure/

Kyou and Yuki: "I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!"

Shigure/pushes Ayame out to face their fury/ "Forward ho! my valiant hero! Fight the demons! For me!

Ayame/sees Yuki and Kyou running in unison towards his trembling form. Closes his eyes and prays for help when low and behold, he feels a protective hand pull on his arm./

Hatori: 'Idiots' /steps in front of Ayame. Looks annoyed./

Kyou and Yuki/can't stop and swack! They run into Hatori. Moan and groan./

Kyou: "Damn!" /rolls off of Hatori and rubs his head./

Yuki/Growls/ "Stupid waste of life, get OFF of me CAT!

Kyou/looks down and watches the rat struggle. Takes advantage of the position and rests his elbow on the rat's veiny forehead/

Megumi: "My…this is quite, how shall I put this…intriguing, is it not?"

Roy/Looks at Hughes/ "Who ARE these nut cases?"

Hughes/Shrugs at Roy's question whispers/ "Roy, maybe we should quietly busy ourselves with other…uh…work."

Roy/Looks at all the losers – er …people and shudders whispers back/ "Good idea…let's split-"

Megumi/Interrupts/ "I don't think we've met…have we?" /Has mischievous look in his hallow eyes/

Hughes/Looks at Roy then to Megumi/ "Look kid, we have some (cough cough) important business to take care of so go and…do something."

Yuki/Looks ready to kill Kyou/

Shigure: " Hughes, you may not want to – eh , call him a kid." /says shakily/

Ayame/Unaware of Megumi's…er…gifts, speaks/ "Why hello there, I am Ayame Sohma, Yuki's wonderful older brother. Who might I ask are the two of you? Yes, yes don't be shy, you in the sexy blue uniform."

Roy/Is getting pissed./ "I'm Roy Mustang. COLONEL Roy Mustang! The C.O. of the place."

Ayame: "Now you. This is silly but, why are you wearing black in the summer? Well I guess it really doesn't matter, anyway what is your name?"

Megumi: "Who I am…is not of importance. But to know who you are is a…privilege." /smirks/

Ayame/Puts his arm around Roy and chants/ "A colonel! A colonel!" /his face turns serious and whispers into Roy's ear/ "You know, I just love a man in uniform."

Roy/Begins to spaz/

Shigure: " My Aya! He's left me forever! I'msosad!" /cries/

Hatori: "Ayame quit torturing the colonel. It's not ver becoming. Oh, and Yuki, Kyou you-" /notices Kyou is asleep with his elbow still propped up on Yuki's head./

Yuki/Feels the elbow on his head slip and then he feels the back of Kyou's head smashing his into the ground/ "That's it! I'M GONNA KILL YOU/begins to beat the stuffing out of the poor orange kitty./

Kyou/wakes up to the feeling of the rat's punches to his already throbbing head/ "Oi! What the hell are you doing!" /unconsciously yawns from his drowsiness/ "I'm gonna kill you rat boy!" /lunges towards Yuki, gets thrashed, falls to the ground, passes out./

Yuki: "Finally."

Ed & Al/As they walk through the hall, they survey all of the chaos. They try to sneak away quietly/

Roy: "Fullmetal! Get your ass back here!" 'Save me!'

Al: "Colonel Mustang, what's going on here?" /surveys chaos once more/

Ed: "Why did you invite a circus into H.Q.?" /says it cheekily/

Roy/Ignores Ed/ Honestly, I'm not sure what's going on. But- /looks serious/ - whatever it is…it's really stupid.

Ayame/Sneaks up behind Roy then shouts/ "So! Two more men in uniform eh/whispers/ "Are you trying to keep them both to yourself? Colonel…how naughty."

Hatori/watches Ayame torture Roy for a while then decides to put an end to it/ "Ayame, what did I say to you earlier?"

Ayame: "Oh, Tori I was just having a little fun/looks at Ed and smiles goofy - like/ "Has anyone ever told you that with your short stature and girlish features that you are justpositively radiant? You would be even more so in one of my fabulous designs!"

Ed/starts to go into one of his little rants /"WHOAREYOUCALLINGAGRAINOFRICESOSMALLTHATITCOULDN'TBEPICKEDUP,EATEN,ANDDIGESTED!" (for those of you who didn't catch all of that: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GRAIN OF RICE SO SMALL THAT IT COULDN'T BE PICKED UP, EATEN, AND DIGESTED!)

Ayame: "My he's a feisty one isn't he?" /frolics off, his braid bouncing up and down/

Ed/calms down/ "I see what you mean when you say 'stupid'. What do you want me to do about it?"

Roy" "Suffer with the best of us."


To be continued in Chapter2!

imanut&Minorinu: Well, there you go! We hope you liked it!

UNTIL NEXT TIME!