Now that I look back on my already written chapters, I don't think that I could ever write that well again. But I'll try. Don't expect the story to go uphill though. Sorry for not writing for so long. I just couldn't find time!

Harry awoke early the next morning and went downstairs. Voldemort was humming 'You are my sunshine' while cooking breakfast.

"Hey Voldy!" said Harry.

"Hey Harry! How's my young scarheaded friend?"

"Please don't mention my scar," said Harry, "It's one of my many insecurities."

"Oh. My apologies." Voldemort said. "So, uh, how is that green space slug theory coming?"

"It's a big, evil, ugly, green slug from outer space." Harry corrected, "And I think I have a new lead."


"Well, I awoke this morning in a wet bed."

"You mean you wet the bed?"

"No you idiot!" Harry said angrily, "I mean the big, evil, ugly, green slug from outer space struck again! And look what I found in your bathroom! A whole tube of evidence!"

"Put the toothpaste tube back Harry. I need it."

"I'm sorry Voldy, but you can't have it back. The space goo may be poisonous. We need to thoroughly examine it before I can give it back."

"Right. And where do you suppose we analyze it?"

"Never fear, I have it all covered. To the Harry Lair!" he said.

Spy-movie music began to play in the background. Suddenly the piece of floor Harry and Voldy were standing on started to sink (A/N: You've seen spy movies or cartoons. You can imagine!).

"Now," said Harry when the finally reached a door, "For the password."

"What's the password?" asked Voldy.

"You'll see!" said Harry. He turned to the door and pressed a button. A microphone popped out so fast it hit Harry in the eye. "Aaarrrggghhh!" he yelled.

"Password incorrect!" said a mechanical voice.

"Harry Lair." Said Harry.

"Password accepted."

The two of them walked through the door into the Harry Lair. The Harry Lair was not at all impressive. The words 'harie lare' were written in crayon on a long piece of paper hanging from the ceiling. In the middle of the room there was a flagpole. At the top there was a flag fluttering in a non-existant wing. The flag depicted a childish looking drawing of Harry.

"Come over here!" said Harry, leading Voldemort to a wardrobe. Voldemort followed. Harry opened the wardrobe to reveal pink bunny costumes. "Tadaa!"

"What are these for?" asked Voldy

"Well," explained Harry, "We need to wear them in case of an invasion. If a big, evil, ugly, green slug from outer space attacks, we need to be prepared."

"So where do the bunny suits come in to the picture?" asked Voldy

"Well, big, evil, ugly, green slugs from outer space are only afraid of cute, friendly, pink bunnies with rubber noses."

"And how do you know this?" asked Voldemort

"The space slugs sent me a message on videotape!"


"It's true!" Harry said. He dropped his voice to a whisper and his eyes darted around nervously, "I'll show you!"

Oh no! What will the video show? Okay, well this turned out better than I expected, but wasn't the greatest. 'Call Me Voldy' is pretty good for my first fic. Anyway, please review, oh loyal fans, if you want ever want to see the next chapter. (Gee, this sounds like blackmail!).