Disclaimer—I do not own Teen Titans
Raven sat up on the roof, her eyes glazed over in thought. She had almost told Beast Boy who she was. She had gotten so close. The mask was hooked around her fingertips---with just one pull…
And then Terra walked in. A very upset Terra to boot.
Did she know? From how she acted…Raven would guess yes. But how? When? And what was going to happen now? Having gotten so close…a part of her wanted to give up while the other felt empowered by the new development.
Maybe next time…next time she was alone with him…she could tell him.
"Hey Starfire? Is Robin back yet?" Cyborg looked into his arm transmitter, with a small frown as the alien girl shook her head no.
"I am most distressed—he is approximately 27 hours late now." She pouted. "What if he is harmed, or in trouble—maybe I should go look for him!"
"I'm sure he's got his reasons—give him another day." Cyborg tried to reassure her, all the while mentally yelling at his former leader. Of course Robin would go out of town when he discovered Raven was back.
Cyborg had no intention of telling the boy wonder who she was. But Robin was smart and overly suspicious. If he said some stranger girl was a new addition to the Titans and gave no reason why, he'd look for one. He do some digging. He'd investigate.
And very hopefully find out the truth so Cyborg wouldn't have to break his word to Raven---something he felt more inclined on doing every day. He'd never tried the entire disappearing for 5 years and returning bit, but she couldn't stay pretending she wasn't who she was for much longer. It would be far too easy for her to run.
Sighing, he bid good luck to Starfire and rested one hand against his face. Maybe he'd try to get her and Beast Boy alone again—Terra was suspicious though. And he had an inkling she might know who their mysterious princess was. Either way, he doubted she'd fall for another 'My baby is covered in dirt!' routine.
The beeping of his arm threw him out of his thoughts. Blinking a little in surprised, he connected though. The only people that ever directly contacted him was Titans East, Starfire and Robin, or…
"They are complete morons—I've known that for years, but not even I'd think they'd stoop so low to to to---" The oh so pleasant white as ghost face appeared over the screen, currently contorted to that of sheer rage.
"Bad day?" He smirked at her. "I thought we decided no direct communications?"
"No, you decided that and I kept it going as long as it was convenient." Jinx crossed her arms, her first wave of anger dissipating. "Although my reputation will go down the drain for being associated with a do gooder."
"Touchy touchy." He laughed. "So what happened?" Instantly he regretted the question, since he was once again bombarded wit furious words.
"My former teammates thought it would be great to bring in civilians into our little showdown today—can you believe it? I am much too above to threaten mere bystanders. And yet there they were threatening to kill them! Its like they have no class, it's like they—"
"Don't start with me." She tapped one finger on the screen, although her own face was turning into a coy smile.
"Well, if you are so against hurting civilians…wouldn't it be nice to start saving them instead?" Maybe after so many years he was beginning to rub off on her. You never know—she finally ditched her team mates. The next step could be becoming a hero.
"And the fun in that would be?"
That step would take some time though.
Suddenly there was another beeping sound coming up from the screen behind him. Jynx simply rolled her eyes and ended the transmition before he could even say a word. Cyborg groaned a little. This was the first time he'd talked to her directly in who knows how long, and apparently she chose the same day everyone else in the world wanted to talk to him as well.
"What?" He said, slightly bitterly as he opened the transmition.
"Er…Cyborg?" Robin's—Nightwing's—whoever the boy was, voice echoed through the transmition. "Bad time?" He looked up, seeing the boy wonder sitting inside what appeared to be a small space shuttle.
"Hey man—where have you been?"
"Oh…around." His vague answered increased Cyborg's suspicions. "I..uh…need your help." His former leader seemed almost embarrassed as the words left his mouth, one finger hooking around the collar of his shirt nervously. Considering Robin wasn't the kind for outward shows of emotions, Cyborg was becoming positively intrigued.
"Sure—what do you need help with?" Inspecting the screen closer, he noticed that behind Robin, the entire space of the ship seemed to be covered in…flowers? "Um…what's with the—"
"Meet me at Joan's Jewelers tomorrow at 2." The other said quickly, his face turning an unusual shade of red. With that, the transmition ended.
"Alright, every single one of the Titans have cracked." Cyborg muttered, shaking his head.
And very suddenly, he knew exactly why Robin was so nervous. A small smile spread all the way across his face. It's about damn time.
Terra managed to both cling to Beast Boy as well as to be completely distant with him, more like a shadow at his side then an actual person. She was afraid what would happen if she left him alone. And her own mind was plagued with what she actually thought of doing. Kill Raven…
She wouldn't do that. She couldn't.
She's in your way.
A rival for Beast Boys affections, but a good person. She couldn't…she couldn't…
They'd never know.
Why did it have to be so complicated? She had Beast Boy right now. Raven didn't. But the moment Raven said anything, the situation would flip flop. What should she do? What should she…
"Er Terra? You're being awfully quiet."
"Not like you're talking much either." She snapped, then widened her eyes a little when she remembered who it was that was sitting beside her. "Oh…sorry. I have a lot on my mind." His green eyes were staring down at her, looking both irritated and concerned. She had been doing this to him all day—if she wasn't careful, Raven wouldn't even need to do anything for him to break up with her. She laughed bitterly. I bet she'd love that.
"So…" Beast Boy scrutinized her for a moment. "Um…you want to talk about anything?"
"N-no, there's nothing wrong." Her words came out a little too quickly. "I—I just need to get some air. Why don't you hang out with Cy for awhile?"
"Terra? Hello? Cyborg left early this afternoon on business." He did? She must have zoned that part of the day out. "I can go watch some TV—you..uh…breathe."
If only she never came back. She could never care about him as much as I do.
She left the room slowly, a little worried about leaving Beast Boy by himself. But her thoughts weren't leaving her alone—she had to think. She had to…
Walking up the tower's stairs, she reached the door to the roof. Maybe she just needed to breathe a little, to just sort out her thoughts more. Maybe she could figure out a way to have Beast Boy…and for Raven to just go away. The door creaked a little as it swung open and she found herself face to face with another girl, whose hand was poised to open the door herself.
Her face contorted in anger. No matter where she went, no matter what she tried to do, this girl was always there. She was going to take away the one thing that made her life worth anything.
"Terra, I think we need to talk." Ravens words were so calm, so cold…just like she remembered. There was no way she deserved Beast Boy.
"Yes, I think we do."
She wasn't sure why she told Terra they needed to talk. The blonde headed Titan might not even know who she really was….no…there was no way she didn't know who she was. Everything that had happened only pointed to that one singular conclusion. But what was she planning on saying? I'm sorry that I love your boyfriend and he loves me back? I'm sorry that I have returned from the dead? Won't you forgive me?
Maybe I should just leave…
Taking several steps backwards, she and Terra stood in the middle of the roof's surface, staring back at one another in equal determination. "You know who I am…don't you?" Raven asked softly.
"Yes, Raven." Her name was spat off her lips like a vile substance. "So when are you going to do it? When are you planning on making my life a living hell again?"
"That's not what I intend to do—"
"Then just leave."
"I can't." Raven was a little surprised by those words…she couldn't leave. She wouldn't leave. This was the only place she could call her home.
"You just won't!" Terra's eyes glowed yellow and she raised her arms over her head, stones rising up from the ground far below to hover above them. Raven reacted instantly, wrapping the boulders in a white glow, willing them to stay still.
"I don't want to fight you." She said, trying to stay calm.
"But I want to fight you! How could you do that to him—to us! Die, then come back—you think that's not going to cause any trouble!" Raven felt her power over the boulders weaken slightly, the stones falling several feet closer to her own body.
"No! I didn't mean for any of this to happen—I didn't mean—" Why was she defending herself? It wasn't like she asked to die, to have no one see her for five years…But was it right to just come back?
"Oh, I didn't mean for it to happen." Terra mocked her words, her face turning into a demented smile. "Raven—Beast Boy's happy now. We are all happy without you!" The rock suddenly was flung away from the building as Terra ran straight at her, tackling Raven to the ground. Her fingertips dug into her shoulders, her eyes glaring down into her own. Eyes filled with anger, with despair, with everything in the world pointed against her. Raven just laid there, Terra's words soaking up into her. They were all happy.
"Fight me!" Terra shook her back and forth, Ravens head hitting the concrete roof with a solid thwack.
"I don't want to…" Raven watched as Terra raised back one arm, her hands forming a closed fist.
"You think you are better then me, don't you?" She hissed out, her arm coming down. Raven squeezed her eyes shut, awaiting the pain…that never came. Opening them tentatively, she realized the girl's fist had hit the concrete inches beside her face. Her white knuckles were now laced with shallow blood from the impact, her expression filled with complete frustration. "You are a coward." She said softly.
I am a coward.
"You don't deserve him."
I don't deserve him. Tears came unwillingly to her eyes. It was everything she knew. She was just running away. She wasn't worthy of him…she…
"You could never love him as much as I do…In fact, I bet you don't even love him at all."
"You just play with him—toy with him even when you were dead."
No. She's wrong.
"I need him."
So do I. Raven placed one hand on Terra's shoulder, the movement quickly quieting the other girl.
"I was alone for five years." Raven's voice was even quieter then Terra's. Her grip on the other's shoulder tightened. "…and…" White magic flew around the two, lifting them off the ground and turning them back horizontal. She slammed Terra into the side wall. "…don't' you ever dare tell me that I don't love him." Something seemed to flicker in those blue eyes…was it understanding? Was it belief? "…he's the only thing that has kept me going. The only…the only—" Suddenly, the image of the blonde girl was swung out of her view as a sharp burning pain erupted from her side. It felt as though she was flying in the air…instinctively she wrapped herself in white magic and turned herself around.
Terra was looking over at Raven with a dumbstruck look on her face, as though she was uncertain what to be thinking. And there was Beast Boy, with one arm around Terra and an angered…confused…expression directed towards…her.
Misunderstandings…yet it hurt. It hurt so much to have him look at her with those eyes. The ground turned white around her and she phased down into the room below.
Everything was so complicated.
"Are you okay?" Beast Boy knelt down beside Terra, who was still staring at where the Princess girl had just vanished. "I thought I'd check on you, and I saw her throw you against the wall, so…"
Terra suddenly stood straight up, Beast Boy fumbling to his own feet to follow suit. She looked at him for a long time, as though searching for something. Apparently she didn't find whatever it was that she was looking for since she brought back one of her hands and sent it slamming straight into his cheek. "You are such an idiot!" She screamed, and stomped down the stairs.
"Hey! I'm the one who saved you!...Didn't I?" He nursed his cheek with one hand. That girl had completely lost her mind. It was the only explanation.
"Yes, that one's good. She'll really like it."
"For the fifteenth time, yes, I am really sure." Cyborg let out a deep sigh and fidgeted on the balls of his feet. Everything in this store was so shiny, so…breakable looking. This was definitely not his element. If he just breathed wrong, he felt like everything would just shatter…
Robin paced back to the other end of the counter, where the lady helping them followed quickly behind. "I kind of like the second one we looked at too…"
"Robin, get this one. You've gone back to it ten times now."
"There is always the white gold with jade along the band and deep diam…." The girl was quieted by the withering glance he gave her. Like Robin needed yet another option.
"You fight bad guys every day—make split second decisions that could mean life or death to everyone around you…and you can't decide which ring to get Starfire?" He shook his head at the boy.
"This isn't as easy as that." Robin said seriously. "I'm…I'm…asking her to…" He stopped. Cyborg knew exactly what he was going to ask the girl, yet during the entire two hours at this store he had not been able to actually say the words.
"Trust me—I think she'd say yes even if your ring was made out of duck tape and yarn. In fact—she might just prefer it, knowing her." Robin suddenly froze, as though this thought had just entered his mind.
"Joke, man. Just a joke. She'd like these rings too."
After another thirty minutes of convincing him he was making the right choice, Cyborg headed back to the tower. Seeing Robin so completely unhinged was amusing to a point, but after a few hours of it, he was about ready to slap him across the face. Also, with him like this, mentioning the new Titan was out of the question. He had enough on his mind already.
Walking through the door, he noted that Beast Boy was sitting slumped on the couch, a dour expression on his face as he stared at the television screen. While BB and the television certainly did go hand in hand…the fact that the screen was turned off didn't. Considering Terra had been acting a little oddly the past few days, he was pretty sure it had something to do about that…but did he really want to talk to Beast Boy about Terra? With Raven back, he didn't really want to encourage that relationship anymore…but that was hardly fair to the other girl either.
"She slapped me!" Beast Boy apparently noticed his scrutinizing stare.
"Terra slapped me!" He seemed completely confused. Sighing, Cyborg sat down on the couch beside him.
"Did you show her your Tofu collection again? Man, I'd slap you myself for it." He teased, trying to loosen up his poor friend.
"Hey—plastic tofu blocks are totally in now." He defended.
"Tofu is plastic."
"Is not! But, that doesn't matter right now—I protected her and got slapped for it!" The changeling threw his hands up in his air, emphasizing his point. Now he was curious. Terra wasn't the kind of girl to need that much protecting—well any girl who had complete control of the earth really didn't need much protection.
The boy slumped against the couch. "I went up on the roof to check on her, and apparently she and that new girl got in a fight." Uh oh. "I saw Princess pin her against the wall, so I pushed her off….and then I got slapped!"
Silence spread through out the room at the end of his proclamation. His green friend seemed to be waiting for him to tell him he did what was right, that Terra was just acting strangely…anything. But…
"You are an idiot." Cyborg nudged him gently on the shoulder. "Tell me that story again later, and then I'll give you my honest answer." Standing up, he left a very bewildered boy in the living room.
Terra sat in the corner of her room, her arms wrapped around her legs. Her hand still stung from earlier…She hated what she had done. She hated trying to fight with Raven. She hated what she saw in her eyes.
Yet…she couldn't hate Raven anymore. She wanted to. Oh she wanted to so badly. This girl was going to take the one person that really mattered to her away…but…what she saw in her eyes before Beast Boy came…she'd only seen it once before.
It was the same look Beast Boy had whenever he talked about Raven.
Pacing around her room…her old room…she gripped the mirror that lead into her mind, trying to get control of all her feelings. Yelling at Terra…telling her she loved Beast Boy felt like she had removed a huge burden off of her chest. But, all that was countered by the expression on Beast Boy's face as he stared down at her.
A beeping sound echoed in her room. She didn't want to have to leave, to face him. Not right now. Shaking her head, she felt herself stiffen. Raven was a titan, and stronger then this. Fighting is the one thing she could still do with him.
Slowly she opened the door, leaving her room behind her. And, as her luck would have it…there he was, passing her room as he hurried down the hall to the main computer to see what the trouble was. They both froze, she mentally cursing herself for not thinking before she left that room. That was Raven's room.
"What…" He started to say, but she simply brushed beside him, refusing to look him in the eye. "What were you doing in that room?" Why was it so easy to ignore…to be so cold to someone she cared so much about? "Hey—"
"Leave her alone." Cyborg was suddenly beside her. She looked up, glad the mask could hide the relief on her face.
"There's been a bank robbery downtown. Lets go." Terra peered down the hall, looking directly at Beast Boy.
"Princess—lets take the T-car." He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Call me Princess again, and I will kill you." She muttered, but allowed herself to be lead away to the car. Everything was feeling surreal right now. It was happening so fast…she was barely able to hold on.
"BB, I'll give you a lift on one of the rocks." Terra said, her voice just as quiet as Cyborg's.
"Why were you in that room?" He repeated again, ignoring Terra, his eyes burning into the back of her head. She slowly turned and looked at him.
"It's just a room." And she disappeared down the hallway.
"I don't need a ride on the rock—I can fly myself" Beast Boy spat, his anger evident. If it was an accident, she should have just said so. Any excuse would do. That she was curious as to whose room it was. That she got lost. But she said nothing, and that angered him more then anything. That was Raven's room. That girl had no right being there without an explanation.
First she attacked Terra, and now she was hanging out in Raven's room…his liking for this stranger was dropping.
"She just went into a room."
"She went into Raven's room—she had no business in there!"
Terra gripped the rock, increasing its speed. "I hate it when you bring her up."
"One day you're going to forget me. You won't ever forget her though…will you?"
"I'd never forget you." He tried to reassure her, ignoring the second part of her sentence. Terra looked at him for a while, then shook her head.
"Just don't be mad at the new girl."
"I thought you hated her?"
"She's a cold coward whose hiding behind a mask." The words were bitter. Both were silent after that, Beast Boy's arm around her waist as she took them to the crime scene. There was a man on top the roof, who appeared to be dangling two policemen off the side.
"Here's where you get off." Terra grinned at him, although her smile looked a little forced.
"Yup…here it is."
Raven tired to focus only on the fight at hand. Her heart was spinning in all directions…it seemed like Beast Boy was so far away from her now. The looks he gave her were not even of the I-want-to-be-your-friend he held before…they were of mistrust.
She created a white field around her as the man shot lightening bolt electricity through his fingertips. He was strong—her shields could hardly repel the attack. Terra was trying to keep his attention on her, sending rock after rock at him while Cyborg positioned himself for attack. Beast Boy had only narrowly caught the two men he had thrown off the side of the building and was in the process of moving the rest of the civilians out of the way before he could help.
"I'm gonna take you guys down!" The man bellowed at all of them, little flickers of electricity running through his body.
"We haven't heard that before." Raven muttered, rolling out of the way as the ground beside her exploded into a spray of concrete. She coughed a little and flew into the air, away from the dust.
"Cyborg!" Beast Boy came running up to him, turning into a small turtle as he flew into the metal man's awaiting grasp. Cyborg tossed him like a Frisbee over at the man, at the last minute turning Rhyno to hit him solidly on the back. An electric shield sprung up around the man, sending him bouncing backwards. "Duude, that's so not fair!"
The guy simply smirked at the changeling, shooting him with his electric bolts.
"Hey hey—don't forget about me!" A pillar of earth came crashing down where the man was, sending a rain of rocks and debris as it hit his shield. For several seconds, the entire area was so thick with dust and no one could see—or breathe. Raven spotted a figure below. It was Beast Boy…and behind him…it was the man.
"Beast Boy!" She cried out, but the changeling didn't seem to notice the man behind him. Without thinking she plummeted toward the ground, right as the guy shot his lightening bolts towards the unsuspecting boy. For a spilt second, she stood there, her arms outstretched between the two, a white shield forming around them that was easily crushed by the coming bolt. White light blinded her and she felt a sharp pain tore through her body as she was flung backwards, sliding along the ground until she hit the small guard rail on the other side. Her side burned. Her chest burned. But most of all…her face felt like it was on fire.
Getting to her knees, she stared down at the ground, the mask falling off in little clumps, each one shattering as they touched the surface. Blood trickled off her chin from a cut on her cheek…a gash on her forehead…but most importantly she kept looking at the mask on the ground. Never had she felt so exposed…
She heard a low shriek from the man who had sent her flying. Had they won? She wanted to look up, but if she did, she'd be seen. They would see her. He would see her. No no no. It wasn't supposed to be this way. She had to run. She had to.
Without thinking, she suddenly launched herself in the air, flying away from everything, away from it all. Why was she so scared? She didn't know…she just had to get away.
Cyborg stood beside Beast Boy, his canon smoking as he managed to land a solid shot right at the man's chest. Caught off guard by the girl jumping to save the changeling, it had been a clear shot and knocked the guy clean out. Beast Boy turned and looked over at the girl, who was staring down at her knees. The mask apparently had broken from the impact and she didn't seem to know what to do.
She had saved his life…
All of a sudden she launched herself in the air and vanished out of view, her entire body rigid. "Hey!" He called after her. He needed to thank her…and to apologize from before. Turning around, he found himself face to face with both Terra and Cyborg. Terra looked close to tears, her expression twisted in both anger and frustration.
"Are you o---"
What the hell are you doing?" She said quietly. "She's getting away."
"Go after her, you idiot!" Falling to her knees she pounded her fist on the ground. "Please, just go after her before I change my mind!"
"Go." Cyborg stared at him, his expression not allowing any room for argument.
"Um…okay." Beast Boy was confused. Maybe the girl was more hurt then it seemed…maybe they didn't want her to be alone. But why didn't they go after her then? Maybe they knew he needed to apologize. That was probably it.
Beast Boy flew off, leaving just the two of them on the roof. Cyborg looked down at the girl, who was still trembling on the roof top. "Are you sure about this?"
"No. I hate it. I hate hate it." She said, her hands gripping at the left over debris on the roof. "And I hope he doesn't find her."
"You're a good girl, you know it?"
Raven flew down into an abandoned alley way. The sun was low in the sky, casting the entire portion of the street into shadows. This place felt safe to her. The dark. The feeling of being alone. Now that she was away, she felt she finally could breathe. Her healing powers were already taking affect—she could feel the cuts on her face fading…the pain in her side diminishing…yet the pain in her chest remained.
She loved him so much, yet all she found herself doing was running from him. Every time. She really was the coward, even after all that had happened.
Leaning against the brick wall, she let the cold surface cool her forehead. She could just turn around…like this. Let him see her. Finally stop the pain of him not knowing who she was. Open a door that he thought closed for him five years ago…that she thought closed for her five years ago…
"There you are." She didn't move, although the voice behind her sent her heart thudding loudly in her chest. Him. "I came to see if you are alright." He seemed a little nervous…she had a feeling it wasn't his idea to come after her.
"You can just leave." She said after a moment, her words coming out harsher then she had intended them.
"Nah…I needed to thank you for saving me back there…and sorry for jumping to conclusions earlier. I'm guessing you and Terra were working things out—right? And…you probably just don't know about that room."
"Hmm." She didn't really know how to respond to that.
"Anyway, lets head back. Everyone's probably worried." He started to step forward.
"Don't come near me." Again…her words sounded so harsh, although she knew her face was blushing horribly.
"Hey...I know your mask got broken, but it's alright. I'm sure you look fine." He said cautiously, trying to figure out why she was being like this. It was true though. It was her appearance that she knew would shock him. "Come on—I'm green, Cy's half machine—and Terra…um…Terra…" He screwed his head up, trying to think of some flaw. "Well, you know what I mean."
There was no one to stop her this time. She could just walk slowly toward him. But how? Should she just tell him who she was? Break it to him gently? Or just dive right in? Her chest felt like it was going to run away with her…being so close…he about to know…she could do this. She really could do this. She told Terra she was in love with him…maybe it was time that she proved it.
"You really are an idiot." After a moment of thinking what she should say, those were the first words to leave her mouth.
"I've been told that waaay to many times today." He groaned. "What is it this time? Did I say something wrong again?"
"No…out of everything you said, that probably was the most correct." Just speak to him like…she was Raven. She was herself. Gently, she pushed herself away from the wall, although she still refused to face him.
"I hated it…when you gave up." She said after a moment, her words quiet. "I almost gave up too you know…then this had to happen."
"When you saved me?" She shook her head. "Dude, you are really confusing me."
"Its weird now…I've thought of so many things to say to you…but all I can think is that you were an idiot. Why did you hang on for so long?" Another step away from the wall. He seemed about to answer, but she shook her head at him. "I've relied on you too much. And now I don't know what to do anymore."
"If you call me that again, I will hurt you. I don't care who you are." She ran one hand through her hair.
"…who are you?" His voice was strangely small now. He didn't seem to know how he was suppose to reacting. Maybe he thought she was crazy.
"It hasn't been that long, has it?" Taking a deep breathe, she turned around, forcing her hands to stay by her sides. They wanted to clutch around her, to protect her from whatever it was she was hiding from. This was easy…just step forward. "A little over…five years?" She was terrifying him. She could see himself shrink with uncertainty, as one idea hit him. The idea that he knew was ludicrous, one that he couldn't dare hope. It felt like she was torturing him, dangling this notion in front of him, he being scared it was going to be thrown aside.
"Who are you?" He repeated again, his eyes wide as he struggled to make out her form.
Carefully, she walked out of the shadows of the alleyway, allowing the dying sun to spray against her face, her chakra glowing in the light…everything was there to tell him who she was.
Yet he didn't stay a word. They just stared at each other, his green eyes merging into her own violet ones.
….Sorry about the horribly long delay for updating xD…I haven't died, I've just been extremely busy. School apparently wishes to kill me—buut in like two-three weeks I'll be on Christmas Break! And I'm determined to finish this story over the Holidays! I don't have too much more left—we finnnaalllyyy have Beast Boy clued in. Took the two long enough pfft.