Title: Love is Futile

Author: vegemite

Rating: T (it might actually go lower)

Summary: Obi-Wan and Padmé have a passionate fling shortly after the Phantom Menace, and it's wonderful for both. But as the title suggests, it can't end well.

Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING except some lint in my pocket.

A/N: This began as a story called "Goodbyes," which was for a challenge, and thanks to a suggestion by Erik's Siren is now a multi-chapter fic. It may not make much sense if you haven't read the original piece, which is only a one-shot, so it's not too long. Parts that were in the original are in italics. This will be mostly very fluffy until the last few chapters.

They began their affair a week after Qui-Gon's death.

Both of them were raw from emotional wear and tear. Obi-Wan knew he wasn't quite ready for Anakin's training to begin, so he sent the boy to Coruscant with Yoda for a little catch-up with the younglings. Padmé had been given a few weeks off in the wake of the Trade Federation crisis. The Nubian Senate had remembered she was only fourteen after all.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" He didn't know why he'd felt compelled to ask this morning, but he was somehow drawn to her quarters when he rose that morning.

"Well, I've kind of got this, um, Gungan meeting going on..." She was rushing around her quarters, madly dashing to get herself pulled together and presentable.

"I thought the Senate gave you some time off."

"Yes, they did, but--"

"Then take some time off, your Highness. It's just one walk." He smiled at her, and she looked at him for the first time that morning. He knew he was slowly changing her mind, just by holding her gaze.

"I suppose it would be alright..."

"Come on." He held out her hand, grinning. She smiled slowly and took it.

They were young. They were meant to be relaxing. They were together.

It was no surprise to either of them that they fell in love.

But it hadn't been just one walk, and here she was, one week later, walking with him again through the royal gardens. They'd talked about many things during their time together every morning, but never Qui-Gon. Still, Padmé knew she was helping him heal without even talking about his Master. He wasn't as introverted as he had been the first few days he'd stayed at the palace, and he was laughing and smiling again. But most importantly, he was talking.

"So what is it that you usually do on your days off?"

"Um, well...I don't usually have many days off..."

"Do you do anything?" The way he said 'anything' made a slight thrill run through her. What was happening? This was Obi-Wan...but he looked so good, and his smile was so beautiful, and he was talking to her with such an honesty...

The first moment he'd known he loved her, they'd been walking in a garden, and she dropped a golden necklace. None of her handmaidens were around, so he bent over to pick it up. He made a big deal about it, causing her to laugh. It was as she had the light of laughter in her eyes that he rose and was captured by them. He knew he was in love, and he did the most natural thing that came to him at that moment.

He kissed her.

He didn't even find what he was doing strange. All he knew was that it felt more right than anything had for a long time. And as the kiss deepened and she relaxed somewhat, it became more than just a wonderful feeling. It became a hunger and desire, something he needed.

They broke apart wordlessly and stared into each other's eyes. Obi-Wan didn't know what exactly was there, but he knew she was serious. This was no joke to her.

She pulled him down for another kiss.

The realization of what this meant surged through him. She might feel the way he did. She might be in love with him.


"Padmé." He paused. "Is that alright? May I call you that?"

"Well, not in public." She smiled. "But I certainly wouldn't want you calling me Amidala at a moment like this." She didn't seem flustered or embarrassed or any of the other things that were shooting through him right now. He knew she couldn't see those things in him, though, because of her Jedi training and realized that perhaps she was remaining composed because of her confidence as Queen. But it seemed like right now, she knew what she wanted, and she was taking it without hesitation.

He liked that.

"I suppose that would be like you calling me Ben." She looked confused, so he explained. "My given name. It's not a Jedi name, so it was changed when I was brought to the temple."

"Ben...I like it." She smiled again, and he felt like his whole world had been permanently rid of darkness in that moment. "But not as much as I like Obi-Wan." She had just enough of a serious look about her that he couldn't help pulling her close and crushing those beautiful red lips with his own once more.

"Your makeup doesn't smudge," he said matter-of-factly, smiling through a shortness of breath caused by the length and intensity of their third kiss.

"Did you think it would?"

"I thought, perhaps...seeing as you were so involved..." He grinned at her.

"If you're disheartened by the fact that you were unable to smudge my makeup," she said, eyes full of a taunting gleam, "you're welcome to try some more."

"I'd love to." And he kissed her again.

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