Note: Well, it's taken me longer than I would have wanted, but this is much harder to writer than it actually looks… And I'm terribly sorry, but the 'fell funny' comment, came from Scorsese's new film: The Departed.



"What in the world?" Dr Sid's voice called out softly, his voice as wrinkled as his face. And believe me, ladies and monkeys, that's wrinkly.

He shivered (for after all he was dressed only in a nightgown) and gazed around him. He was standing on a wasteland, one that stretched out for eternity. It was soft, and slightly moist, and a fascinating shade of pink.

And before him stood a mournful looking clown, and a small purple monkey, doing a rather nifty little jig.

Dr Sid chocked…apologies, choked, on the very air he was breathing in, as the purple monkey stuffed a small chocolate bar down his purple throat. That's why he liked dancing. He had to keep his little monkey body in trim. None of the ladies liked a chubby purple monkey.

"Hello," said the clown, "my name is Harold. I'm a clown, and although I have a smile painted on my face, I'm really crying inside."

This was too much for the poor scientist, who swiftly fainted; falling backwards, his pink fluffy slippers (which had somehow found there way onto his feet), flying upwards.

"He fell funny," said the purple monkey, his head cocking sideways, "how odd."


Sid awoke a little while later, to which he was greeted by with contempt.

"Just remain lying down old man, while I explain myself. Don't move or talk. You may breath, but only quietly. I am the Purple Monkey, deposed tyrant of millions, and this is Number 6, my unfaithful slave. He likes to pretend he has a name, but please don't encourage him. Now, I am going to take back my throne, and boil that wretched White Rabbit in his own juices. I want revenge! REVENGE!" He broke of speaking while a coughing fit engulfed him, which was only cured by Harold whacking him soundly on the back. The purple monkey glared at Harold.

"I get the feeling you enjoyed that." Harold let his painted smile do the talking; to which is took the opportunity to recite a little Shakespeare.

(This is an advertisement placed within the story 'Fish Happens'. It has been placed by Harold's "Painted Smile", who is looking for an agent willing to take on a little paint, who is fluent in olde englishe, and knows eraepsekahS back-to-front. No time-wasters, or water please. Thankyou).

"Enough interruptions!" screeched the purple monkey, "now, needless to say. I was trapped here. But by bringing you here, I can escape, and leave you in my place. Simple, no? Right, bye! Come along Harold! To Toytown vs. Wonderland (and where did I put that speed?)!"

He moved his arms, mumbled some words, and did his little monkey dance, and yet another portal opened. He grabbed Harold, and leaped through…

…but before he could manage it entirely, Dr Sid - in what could be said was one of the best decisions of his life - grabbed onto the monkey's leg.

He was dragged through the portal. To where???

Tune in next time!

Note: I honestly don't know what to say anymore. Chapter four should be done sooner rather than later, and I hoped you enjoyed it.

Disclaimer: Dr Sid is copyright to Square Pictures; and the story, plus original characters to me. This story has been written on the understanding that you may read it and print it out; but you may not pass it off as your own, hire it out, or sell it for money. You also may not put it on your own or any other web page (that includes links) without my express written permission. Thankyou!