Kakashi had a brand new computer.
He invited his three friends over so they could all marvel at its beauty, since it was a beautiful computer. So Gai, Kurenai and Asuma all made the hard journey over to Kakashi's house and he showed them all the spiffy new things that his computer came with.
After playing with the computer voice, attempting to learn how to play minesweeper and failing to install two different games, the four of them hooked the computer up to the internet and began surfing.
They visited a few websites and read some online fiction and immediately decided that they could do better. So they created their own user name, WeR4Jounins, and set up an account.
They shrunk the internet down and opened up word processor.
"Let's write a romantic love story!" Kurenai said excitedly.
"And ACTION story!" Gai declared.
"How about a—" Kakashi started.
"No, Kakashi." Interrupted Asuma.
"Fine." Said Kakashi, crossing his arms in a childish manner. "If you're so smart, what kind of story should we write?"
"A HUMOR one!" Asuma said.
"Yes!" said Kurenai. "We four are awfully comical and therefore writing a humor story should not be hard at all!"
"I get to type since it's my computer." Kakashi decided.
"Fine, but keep it PG-rated." Gai warned.
They sat there in silence for a few seconds.
"Okay…" said Kakashi. "We have to create characters."
"Pa-SHAW!" said Gai. "Let's just use our students as the characters!"
"Gai, I do declare that that is the best idea you have ever had!" announced Kurenai.
"Why thank you, Kurenai." Said Gai.
"Okay, okay, make Shikamaru the main character!" said Asuma in a giddy tone.
"No, make it Lee!" Gai said, pushing Asuma out of the way.
"Here, I'll write everyone's name on a piece of paper and stick the papers into this hat." Said Kurenai as she scribed everyone's names down at record-breaking speeds and dropped them into a hat that she just so happened to have handy. "Our protagonist shall be…" she said as she pulled out a piece of paper. "KIBA!"
"You rigged that!" yelled the other three teachers.
"Looks like we have to call in our unbiased median." said Kakashi as he snapped his fingers and Iruka jumped in the window.
"Yes?" he said.
"We're writing a humor story with our students and we need you to pick the names out of the hat so we know which ones to make it about." Kakashi explained.
"Oh." Said Iruka. "Okay."
He took the hat from Kurenai and pulled out three names. "Sasuke, Shikamaru and Hinata." He read.
"YES!" cheered Asuma.
"But what about my students?" complained Gai. "Let's have at least one person from every team!"
"Okay, okay!" said Iruka as he pulled out another name and it just so happened to be Tenten!
"Um…" Gai said. "Can we…pick a different one?"
"Did I say Tenten?" laughed Iruka as he put the paper back in the hat. "I meant Lee."
"Happy day!" said Gai happily.
"You can leave now, Iruka, unless we need you later." Kurenai said.
"But…!" Iruka argued. "Can't I stay and help you write your fanfiction?"
"No!" said Asuma. "Look, our user name is WeR4Jounins! You're not a Jounin, and if you joined our group then that would be five people! If you wrote with us, we'd have to change our user name to WeR4JouninsAnd1Chuunin. And that's just ridiculous!"
Iruka couldn't argue with that logic so he bowed his head in shame and trudged out of the room.
"All right, so it's a humor story with Sasuke, Shikamaru, Hinata and Lee." Kakashi said with a nod as he turned back to the computer and started typing.
one fine day, Hinata, shikamru Sasuke and lee were walking awround enjoying the summer air.
";let's play turht or dare lol!" said Lee.
OMG YEA!" cheeredSasuke.
"turht or dare Hinata." Said Shikamaru.
"Um…Kakashi?" said Kurenai.
"What?" said Kakashi.
"Um…how about I type?" Kurenai suggested. "I'm a very fast typist!"
"Fine…" said Kakashi as he got out of the seat.
"I hope you have better grammar skills than Kakashi." Said Gai.
"For someone who reads as much as you do, I'd think you'd know what you were doing at least a little bit." Commented Asuma.
"Hey, guys, this is MY computer." Kakashi reminded them.
Kurenai promptly erased everything Kakashi had written so she could rewrite it properly.
One fine day, Hinata, Shikamaru, Sasuke and Lee were walking around enjoying the summer air.
"Let's play 'Truth or Dare'!" said Lee with a laugh.
"Yeah!" cheered Sasuke.
"I'll go first." Said Shikamaru. "Hinata, truth or dare?"
"DARE!" screamed Hinata.
"I dare you to kiss Sasuke!" said Shikamaru.
"EWW GROSS NO WAY!" yelled Hinata as she punched Sasuke.
"Is this really how our students act?" said Gai.
"I don't know about you guys, but Shikamaru would never act like this." Asuma said with a nod.
"Well, that goes without saying." Kurenai said. "But this is a humor story and if our students are comically out of character then it couldn't possibly be funny."
"Oooohhhh…" said the other teachers as they admired Kurenai's vast knowledge.
"Okay, Sasuke truth or dare!" said Lee.
"Okay, I dare you to put on a bunny suit and put pudding in your pants!"
"Since it's truth or dare, I guess I have to!" said Sasuke as he grabbed some pudding and put it down his pants and then put on a bunny suit.
By this time, the teachers were roaring with laughter, unable to control themselves as they collapsed to the floor, just trying to picture what Sasuke would look like with pudding down his pants and in a bunny suit.
"Oh Kurenai," said Gai. "How do you think up these things?"
"I have a unique mind!" said Kurenai.
"I've never seen material like this in fanfiction before." Said Kakashi. "Your ideas are very unique."
"How much should we write until we submit the story?" questioned Asuma.
"Well, more than this." Said Kurenai. "We've really only written half a page."
"That's enough, isn't it?" said Asuma.
"I think we need to leave people with a cliffhanger so they'll what to read the next chapter." Said Gai. "A half page is enough for a story, isn't it?"
"Sure." Shrugged the others.
"So I'm just going to give it a cliffhanger without anymore interruptions." Kurenai said.
After Sasuke hopped around in the bunny suit for a little while, the four kids chuckled at his expense and then they decided to continue playing their game. Just when they were about to do so, they got an even better idea of how they could spend their time instead of playing something childish like truth or dare!
"What a good idea!" said Asuma. "But we have to have an author's note at the end that tells people to be kind to us and review and other things like that."
"Let's each write a little bit of it in play form like we're talking to each other!" said Gai.
"I'm sure NO ONE'S done THAT before!" said Kurenai excitedly.
"Me first." Kakashi said, pushing Kurenai out of the way.
Kakashi: lol! that was the first chaptasr. We hoep you liked our fanfiction and review us with nof lames.
Asuma: Omg! If we don't get at least 10 reviews then we won't write anymore.
Gai: so please please please please please review!
Kurenai: Pwetty pwease? This is our first story so be nice!
"All right." Said Gai, nodding with satisfaction.
"Oh, we have to write 'Author's Note' at the beginning so people will know that it's not part of the story." Kurenai said as she quickly scribed the two words at the beginning of their clever author's note.
"I can't wait until we get reviews!" said Asuma as Kakashi logged in and uploading the story.
"So is this humor/action/adventure?" Kakashi questioned.
"Probably just humor." Kurenai said.
"But we can list two genres." Kakashi pointed out.
"Okay." Said Kurenai. "How about humor/romance just in case we want to make pairings later?"
"But we're not going to do that." Said Gai. "Just make it humor/parody."
"Or humor/humor!" said Asuma.
"Yeah!" said Gai. "So people will know that it's EXTRA funny!"
"Rating?" Kakashi said.
"Just G." said Kurenai.
"We did talk about pants and kissing." Asuma said.
"Oh right…" Kurenai said. "Well, PG just to be safe."
"And what should we call it?" Gai said, pointing at the empty bar with the word 'Title' in front of it.
"How about… 'The Best Story in the Universe'!" said Asuma.
"And we WON'T look conceited." Said Kakashi.
"But people will see that and know that we're funny so they'll click on it." Asuma said.
"Asuma, you're full of good ideas!" said Kurenai. "Have you got an idea for the summary?"
"Hm…" Asuma said, rubbing his chin where his beard was. Naturally, because his beard was on his chin. "How about… The kids go on crazy adventures in their village doing all sorts of crazy things!"
"…doing all sorts of crazy things…" Kakashi said out loud as he typed.
"Write R&R." Gai said. "People always review more when you write R&R."
"With a 'please'." Added Kurenai.
"R&R please…" Kakashi continued.
"And maybe you should tell them that it's our first story so they should be nice." Asuma went on.
"We tell them that in the story though." Gai said.
"All right." Said Asuma with a shrug.
"Are we ready to submit it?" said Kakashi.
"YES!" cheered the others.
Kakashi pressed the 'submit' button and the screen informed them that their story was uploaded.
They all stood there and stared at the screen.
"Check our email." Said Kurenai. "Maybe we got some reviews."
The night passed and Kakashi had almost forgotten about his fanfiction writing that had occurred the night before. However, when he awoke the next morning and found four emails in his inbox with the subject being "Review for The Best Story in the Universe", he remembered and invited his partners in crime over so they could read them together.
"Four?" said Gai as the first email loaded. "That has to be some kind of record!"
"They just appeared overnight!" said Asuma. "How wonderful!"
"Okay, this first review is from 'xlxizzyizumixlx'." Kakashi read as he cleared his throat. "He writes; lol. cliffie! Write more please."
"Ha!" said Gai. "Did you see that? 'LOL' means laughing out loud so he must be laughing out loud at our story!"
"Murphy11 writes; O.o That was one fooked up story. Haha. But it was funny. Ic an't picture sSasuke doing that. Maybe for the next chapter you can bring more characters in to it and they can hang out some place."
"Not a bad idea…" said Asuma with a nod.
"Private Mallone writes;" started Kakashi but he trailed off. Then he started up again. "this fic sucked ass. It was five minutes long and it wasn't funny at all. Don't quit your day jobs you idiots."
"Well…that wasn't nice." Said Kurenai, making a face. "Go to his user page and let's see what he's written! Then we can review his stories nastily!"
Kakashi opened Private Mallone's user page in a new window only to find that he hadn't written anything. So, feeling dejected, they returned back to the email inbox to see the last review.
"KankurosLuva writes; funny but the characters are a little OOC. Write more." Kakashi read.
The four of them let their reviews sink in.
"I think those reviews were pretty good!" said Kurenai. "We got some constructive criticism, unconstructive criticism and some compliments! Not bad!"
"I could have done without the unconstructive criticism, especially since we asked specifically for no flames." Said Gai with a frown.
"Well, three out of four of our reviewers wanted us to write more so let's write more." said Kakashi.
"But we said in our author's note that we wouldn't write another chapter unless we got ten reviews." Asuma pointed out.
"Oh yeah." Said Kakashi.
The four of them sat there for a few minutes.
"Um…" they all said simultaneously.
"I didn't really feel like writing anymore anyways!" Gai declared.
"Yes." Said Kakashi, clicking on the 'x'. "If we get more reviews then maybe we'll continue it. But until then, let's put our art on hold."
The others agreed so Kakashi shut down his computer. They shook each other's hands and then walked off into the sunset, sizzled up and died. But not really.