By GirlX2

Dedicated to all the wonderful writers of RGB fanfic. Note, this is my first real foray into 'serious' RGB fic. My previous fic (BJvs GB)was a bit O' fluff I wrote for fun, and my next one will also befunny (I hope...) Enjoy!


Ray sat quietly as Egon studied his brain scan.

"Nothing. Completely empty." Egon slid his glasses up his nose.

"Ha ha." Ray rolled his eyes. "No effect?"

The scientist shook his head. Ray sighed.

"You'd think after all these years we'd of figured out what this stuff does."

The two scientists stared futilely at the giant tub of ectoplasm they'd collected over the years. The ghostly residue never changed, whether left in the oven, the fridge, the open air--even when ingested, Ray thought, remembering an unfortunate incident with the slime & some salad dressing.

It was the most infuriating mystery they'd ever encountered. Peter had given up on the stuff a long time ago. To him, it was merely an inconvenience. Ray supposed the nickname 'Slime Magnet' hadn't inspired much curiosity in the other Doctor.

"Well, another day." Egon began shelving the various equipment.

Ray began to towel off the substance. "I'm gonna be in the shower for the next hour or so."



Ray lay sprawled on the couch, watching TV.

"Janine we've been over this a thousand times-"

"I don't want to hear it Egon." Janine Melnitz stalked from the kitchen into the living room. "It's already been established your precious experiments come before me."

"That's not fair Janine." Egon said, hurrying after her. "I'm very close to finding out how prolonged exposure to ectoplasm effects common household fungi."

"Yes, I can see how that's more important than our anniversary!" Janine snapped. "When you're done playing with your mushrooms, look me up. I'll be the one in the dress."

"Fungi." Egon stated.

Janine glared at him, turned on her heels and stormed out. The door slamming could be heard throughout the firehouse.

"Smooth." Ray commented.

"She's emotional." Ray muttered. "Possibly PMS."

"The excuse of clueless men everywhere." Peter Venkman walked into the room.

Egon stiffened. "How much did you hear?"

"Well, I started listening at ectoplasm, and managed to catch 'insensitive Bastared' on the way out." Peter grinned.

Egon sighed. "She just doesn't understand the importance of my work."

"Egon, maybe the fungi could wait a few days. You probably should apologize." Ray told him.

The door swung open as the fourth Ghostbuster came in.

"What's up with Janine? She nearly bit my head off when I asked her how she was."

"Spengs is ditching her for 'shrooms." Peter nodded at Egon.

Egon turned slightly red. "Fungi."

Winston shook his head. "Sometimes I'm amazed you have a girlfriend at all Egon."

Egon shook his head and left the room.

"She's gonna dump his ass if he doesn't pay more attention to her." Winston said.

"For the brains of the operation he's pretty damn clueless." Peter agreed.


Egon sat quietly, various vials bubbling away all around him.

'She just doesn't understand. With the results of this research, I may be able to cure some serious diseases, even prolong lifespan!'

He checked the readings on several tubes.

'This oriental mushroom mix seems a bit temperamental. The stability reading has spiked.'

He moved to remove the mix from the burner.

A glob of greenish liquid bubbled over the side.

'That's not-'

The vial exploded in a haze of green. The ooze showered down on the scientist.

"OW! Son of a..." Egon removed his glasses.

The goop had covered all his visible skin, and his clothes. He sighed wearily.

"Back to the drawing board."


Peter slowly opened his eyes. He slid out of bed, noting that Egon was still in his. Usually Spengs was the first one up.

'Well, after last night its hardly a wonder he's sleeping in.'

Peter quietly moved past the lump of covers, as not to wake him.

"What's on the schedule today?" He asked as Janine handed him the worksheet.

"Two class 3 non repeaters, a class 2 repeater, and a class 5 poltergeist." Janine said mechanically. Her eyes, somewhat puffier than usual, never left the stack of papers.

"You alright Melnitz?"

"Never better." Janine kept her eyes low & swept from the room.

Peter clucked his tongue. "Oh what a tangled web we weave."

Ray and Winston sat quietly, studying various papers.

"Look at this Zedd. 'GB's review 'BeetelJuice'. Too True?'." Ray said through a mouthful of egg.

"Mm." Winston nodded. "Very funny."

Peter sat down.

"Spengs still not up yet?" The darker man asked
"Nope, and I'm not getting him. After his little 'accident' last night, he crashed." Peter said.

"He was coated in ectoplasm." Winston chuckled. "Ray, you giving him those particular mushrooms isn't gonna make him too happy with you."

" 'Shrooms, Ray?" Peter cocked an eyebrow. "Is there something you'd like to share with the group?"

"I use them in omelets, okay? They stimulate freshness in eggs." Ray said uncomfortably.

"So young. So tragic." Peter wiped a mock tear from his eye. "Fine, I'll get Egon."

He climbed back up the stairs to the bedroom.

"Good morning star shine." Peter shook the lump of covers. "Time to bust some ghosts."

"M'up." A voice said throatily.

"Good, because we've got a class five on the menu, not to mention Janine is still pissed." Peter walked to the fire pole.

The lump groaned. It pushed the covers aside.

"Peter, I really don't want to hear it."

Peter gaped at the speaker.

A small boy was sitting in Egon's bed. Light blond curls spilled into his eyes. He wiped them aside, yawned sleepily, and put on Egon's glasses.

The boy swung his legs over the side of the bed. His eyes slowly traveled downwards, resting on his feet which didn't touch the floor. He shifted his gaze to his sleeves, which protruded far past his hands.

"Peter." The boy said, obviously struggling not to panic. "Is everything bigger or did I get smaller?"

Peter's mouth dried. "Who are you?"
The boy's eyes jumped to the scientist. "Peter, its me!"
"Who's me?" Peter lurched away from the pole, dreading the answer.

"Egon Spengler!"

"You can't be Egon. Egon is old enough to be your father!" Peter's voice rose. "Who are you? What are you?"
"I am Egon Spengler!" The boy argued. "I'll prove it. Ask me anything."

"Mother's maiden name?"


"Father's birthday?"

"August 22nd, 1929!"

Peter thought for a moment. A clever imposter could find out those things easily. There was one thing that could prove it...

"Childhood fear."

The boy stopped cold. "What?"

"What is Egon Spengler's childhood fear?"

"Peter, please." The boy paled.

"What is it? If you're really Egon, you'll know."

The blue eyes slowly slid toward the closet.

"Don't make me say it." He fidgeted uncomfortably.

Peter felt the blood drain from his face. "Oh God. Egon."

Egon slipped from the bed.

"What happened to me?" He squeaked.

"You look like you're six years old." Peter said slowly.


"You're a little kid."

Egon began to run towards the hall mirror, not accounting for his oversized pajamas. He slipped and fell onto the wooden floor.

"Ow!" He grabbed his knee.

"Jeeze Spengs, are you alright?"

Egon winced "Perhaps a minor abrasion..."

He rolled the pant leg above his knee. Blood oozed from a large scrape. He made a grab for the glasses that were rapidly sliding down his nose. His eyes watered slightly.

"C'mon Egon, lets get you some band aids." Peter scooped the small scientist into his arms and carried him into the bathroom.

"Peter, no, I'm okay, really..." Egon shook his head futilely as Peter set him down.

"You're in tears!"

"Well, it hurts!"

Peter grabbed the first-aid kit.

"It's cool Egon, I'll have you fixed up in a second."

"I can do it myself." Egon grimaced as Peter poured peroxide on the cut.

"I know you can, this is just quicker."

Egon sat scrubbing the tears from his eyes as Peter finished doctoring the wound.


"Thank you." Egon repositioned his pant leg.

Peter glanced out the door. "They'll be up soon to see what's happened...What do we tell them?"

"Tell them I'm me."

"No, I mean, how did this happen?"

Egon thought for a moment. "It must have been the explosion last night. The mushroom's Ray gave me are supposed to help increase life expectancy if eaten on a regular basis, according to legend."

"That doesn't explain why you've been mini-sized."

"Maybe the ectoplasm mutated the effect, resulting in..." Egon stared at himself in the mirror. "This."

Peter nodded. "It's a possibility."

Egon's eyes leaped to Peter's. "You can't tell Janine."

"What? Egon, when she sees you she's going to figure it out!"

"She's not going to see me."


"Damnit, I'm not going to have Janine see me in this state!" Egon yelled.

Peter stared at the boy. "Alright Egon, take it easy."

Egon took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't see her like this."

Peter nodded. "Okay Spengs."