A/N: I do plan on updating Popularity, in fact the next chapter's half done. I just want to write a humour fic as I'm getting depressed writing about … well … depression!

A/N2: As I'm typing this I am currently suffering from lack of sleep, so I hope this makes sense. I had to get up at 5 this morning to go to the stables to get ready for the national dressage championships, I wasn't competing, thank God, but my friend's Mam was so I was there cheering her on! I might be Show jumping next week but I'm not sure ……

A/N3: (Not another A/N! – sorry couldn't help my self!) This fic has the same cast as my other one, Popularity (For full details see my public works), I just wanted to put these great characters together with established relationships and friendships in a car for five days. Even I'm not really sure what's going to happen!

Title: The Road Trip

Warnings: AU, Cursing, slash, het, OOCness and drinking

Summery: An AU where Voldemort (Boo) never happened. Sirius is getting married … in Italy, James and Lilly Potter are flying, but Harry in a stroke of eighteen year old madness decides to drive the five day trip over to Italy. with his five friends; Hermione Granger; who knows absolutely everything about anything except the ways of lust and desire, Ron Weasley; Who always thinks with his stomach and has really bad taste in music, Blaise Zabini; the pervert who is usually either high or drunk, Pansy Parkinson; Ron Weasley's crazy girlfriend, who wears way too short mini skirts and finally (As if you don't know already!) Draco Malfoy; Harry's extremely flamboyantly gay boyfriend who's biggest fear is people who bite their toenails. Together these six get drunk, have sex and try to follow a 1980's roadmap to the lovely city of Venice! What were their parents thinking?

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I wish I did but I don't. I own the clock in the second paragraph; he goes by the name of Jimmy and is quite tempermental …

Chapter 1: Setting off … After Lunch of Course.

It was a lovely crisp summer's morning. The birds were being stalked by cats, Children playing chasing near the quarry and the postman was delivering that Red final Warning Phone bill. The sun that was rising gave a lovely soothing glow to the burning caravan beside the road and the slightly blowing breeze that flows gently past did nothing to air out the abandoned old folk's home.

The alarm clock went off at exactly ten to eight, trying, but unsuccessfully, to wake the sleeping dark haired boy, formally know as Harry James Potter. The clock didn't give up however, and only rang louder, desperate to complete the task that which it's life was dedicated to do. The boy did not budge again, exasperated, the clock gathered it's energy via yoga, took in a breath, only to find it actually couldn't seeing as it's a clock and all, and let out the mother lode of all alarms. That woke the sleeping boy as he leaped out of the bed like a ninja.

"Eight already?" The boy grumbled, as he stumbled to the bathroom to have a shower. In the corner the clock, mission complete, reset itself for tomorrow morning.

When Harry came back in, water dripping down is toned and muscular chest and downwards slowly … slowly … slowly … when Harry got a towel and dried himself off. After, he went in search for clothes, most of his clothes were either dirty or packed away somewhere. Finally, after a long and tiring search through 'Sock Mountain', Harry found a decent pair of jeans and t-shirt.

The smell of a breakfast fry-up enticed Harry to get down to the kitchen as quickly as possible, so throwing on a pair of odd socks, Harry bolted for the stairs and slided down the banister only to collide with something solid yet unmistakably human.

"Ow, Harry, way to give a guy a greeting," Said Harry's friend since those nappy years, Ron Weasley.

"Oh Sorry about that! I could smell breakfast and was really hungry. Err … why are you here?" Harry asked confused.

"We're going on a road trip to Italy for your godfather's wedding, remember?" Ron said sarcastically.

"Ehhh … Oh yeah! We're driving to Venice, which explains why my alarm went off so early; I thought it had a mind of its own!" Harry Laughed.

"Yeah, whatever, Pansy and 'Mione are in the Kitchen waiting for you," Ron said, and with that abruptly turned and headed towards the scent that was a sizzling sausage. Harry shook his head at his food loving friend's antics and followed Ron into the kitchen.

Just like Ron said, Hermione and Pansy were sitting at the dining table munching on some toast. Their luggage packed up behind them. Hermione waved at Harry when he entered and Pansy Blew a kiss at him which was accompanied by the contents of her mouth.

"That was really gross, Pansy," Harry commented. Pansy flipped him off in reply and swallowed the remaining food in her mouth.

"I only did it because I know you love it," She retorted.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"So are we all ready, where's Draco and Blaise?" Harry asked looking around him in case they were hiding from him and was about to jump out and shout 'boo!'

"Blaise should be on his way, and I thing Draco's still in bed," Hermione said, "I called him this morning to wake him, and all I got back was 'No way I am I getting up 'till ten!' and then he hung up,"

"He might have thought you were his mother, did you know that their house is so big, and that she wakes him up by ringing him?" Pansy said food free thankfully.

"Really?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, I once slept over and He had a conversation with his Mom about what he wanted for dinner. He shouted at her, thought, because I had just done his nails and he was waiting for them to dry, but then had to answer the phone which Fucked up the brilliant job I did. It was quite funny actually, and then his dad told him to 'Stop being so queer and answer you're mother's civil question!' and he shouted back 'I'm not being queer, I just don't want to ruin my nails, I just got them manicured and painted and I don't want to ruin them!' Hilarious, I did not sleep that night!"

"Sounds like Draco alright," Ron muttered.

"I've slept over at Draco's a few times, but that's never happened when I was there," Hermione replied.

"Maybe I was a once off thing, like Blaise being sober or something," Pansy explained.

"Wait a minute, both of you have slept over at Draco's? I've never slept over and neither has Ron nor Blaise!" Harry interrupted.

"That's because his mother doesn't like him sleeping in the same room with boys, makes her feel nervous," Hermione and Pansy said.

"That's stupid, Draco is a boy too," Ron stated.

"His mother always wanted a girl, so when she had Draco she treated him like a girl; you know, frilly clothes, ribbons, that kind of thing," Pansy said before taking another bite from her toast.

"That explains so much," Harry laughed. Even though he was going out with Draco, he still couldn't help but be a bit mean to him. The Blond was so gay he could be quite embarrassing when out in public.

Lilly Potter came into the kitchen to find all four teens laughing their heads off. She was a bit bemused at their behaviour, but decided that her son and his friends were always mad and will stay mad forever more. This made her feel a bit nervous about letting the six of them drive, but she had read in all those parenting books that as they get older, children want to spread their wings and fly to new heights. They were bringing two cars; Harry's Saab and Draco's Mercedes, and would all take turns driving.

Their route was all planned out and picnic and camping areas were highlighted on the map so they knew where to stop. They all had their mobile phones charged and with them. Each had enough money to feed themselves for the five days, and they had enough supplies to survive while camping. Lilly sighed, dislike it or not, her 'ickle Arry–Warry' was growing up.

"What are you all laughing about?" James Potter, who Harry was the splitting image of, asked.

"Draco," They said simply.

James chuckled at the thought of his son's rather … queer boyfriend, to put it nicely. For Harry to come out when he was seventeen James could handle, Harry even having a boyfriend was, but what James never expected was for Harry to introduce someone like Draco and was totally unexpected. Sure Draco was pretty, but he was extremely high maintenance. James expected Harry to have found a nice straight acting boyfriend, but no, he had to pick the queerest fruit from the tree. Although Draco is quite amusing at a party, which was why Draco got a special invite to Sirius's wedding.

"When are you planning to set out?" Lilly asked anxiously. James could tell she was nervous about her only son out in the world all on his own, and he wrapped an arm around her for reassurance. She and Molly Weasley were very against the teen's trip and both wanted the six of them to fly to Italy with them. If it wasn't some very heavy bribing from already heavily bribed husbands, this trip wouldn't even be on.

"Well, we wanted to leave at nine, but seeing as it's twenty past now and Draco and Blaise aren't even here yet, we're not sure, Mrs. Potter" Hermione answered, her voice dripping with politeness. Ron and Pansy rolled their eyes; Hermione can be such a little suck up at times.

"Oh, Blaise just called, he said that he's going over to Draco's to get him up and will head over here afterwards. He said to expect him by around eleven," James replayed the teens.

The four teens sighed in frustration.

"Well, let's try and get some of these suitcases into the car so at least we'll be kinda ready," Harry suggested.

They spent the rest of the morning lugging Harry's suitcases down from his room, loading as many as possible into the car boot as possible, searching for any items that might have fallen out during the mass bag movement in the kitchen and raiding the cupboards for food.

Hermione was doing a mental checklist while Ron was putting a folder full of music onto the dashboard along with Pansy's and Harry's, when Blaise and Draco finally arrived in Draco's car.

"Where were you two? It's half twelve!" Hermione shrieked when they approached.

"Do you want the short version or the overly complicated and detailed edition that might take all morning to tell?" Draco asked, sitting on one of Pansy's bags.

"You went shopping didn't you?" Pansy yelled from the front seat.

"No," Draco said, non-convincingly.

"Don't lie," Pansy warned and suddenly pulled out the bag from beneath him so he was left sprawled on the ground.

"There was a sale on at French Connection, so sue me," He confessed.

Harry and Ron proceeded to put the left over bags into the boot of Draco's car, they managed to make space, but the amount of bags Draco was bringing made it hard.

"OK, the time is … one o'clock, we plan to be at our next destination by ten tonight," Hermione called in a real official tone. The rest just smiled.

"Wait a minute!" Draco called. Everyone took a deep breath and counted to ten slowly before turning to face him.

"Yes?" Pansy asked in a strained voice.

"It's one o'clock, I have to have lunch at one otherwise my whole eating schedule will be thrown completely off balance and I'll end up in a corner with a hoodie eating a bag of chips, which, I might add, will ruin my complexion,"

"What a great idea, let's have lunch!" A delighted Lilly Potter said.

Draco jumped up and followed her to the kitchen, while the other five and James groaned in annoyance, at this rate they'll never going to get going.

All right, this chapter is short and sweet, I hope. It's not beta'd either, so that explains any grammatical mistakes, if there's many complaints about grammar or spelling I'll get it beta'd however.

I hope you liked, next chapter should be out tomorrow! Look out for it!

BTW, please R&R!