Hugh Neutron (excited): Wowie-zow, sugar booger. Did you notice that, in order to enter the house, I had to physically open the door? I couldn't pass through it like a ghost would.
(Judy stares at her husband. No words seem to be able to come to her to convey her bewilderment.)
Hugh Neutron (joyfully): Hey, I even interacted with a bunch of physical objects! I never enjoyed such an experience.
Judy Neutron: Hugh.. what are-
Hugh Neutron (glee!): Man! Don't you just love having a corporeal body? I never realized of what a gift it really is! (He gets further hyped up.) Hey! Wanna go partake of some plant and animal matter? It'll be fantastic! We can digest it and be nourished!
(Judy closes her book and gets up from her seat to make some distance away from her husband.)
Judy Neutron (nervously): Maybe I should save myself by not asking anything further and just focus on getting out of the house.
Hugh Neutron (heartedly): Oh, you big silly, doe dumpling. I've just been honing my creativity with some natural herbal remedies. (He removes a packet from his pocket to show her.) I've been experiencing the world in a totally different realm of feeling now! Reminds me of the time that I had that epiphany back in 92.
Judy Neutron (firmly): Hugh, that "epiphany" was just a seizure from the fumes when we repainted my parent's house.
(She takes the packet of pills and looks at it. Her eyes widen with shock.)
Hugh Neutron (happily + pointing at the pills): I got those helpful harrys when I preordered two bags of that organic duck feed for the guys at feeding park six.
Judy Neutron (gasp!): Hugh! These are caffeine pills!
Hugh Neutron (correcting): No they're not, they have ginseng and twigs in 'em.
(Judy shows him the packet. MEGA KING CAFFEINE is printed in large block letters on the pack.)
Judy Neutron (angry): It says caffeine on every side of the box! From the way the font is designed a giant could read this thing!
Hugh Neutron (assuringly): Oh, a lot of people can't see things properly at times. Like, people with green eyes can't see dogs.
Judy Neutron (wha..?): What?
Hugh Neutron: It's completely true; and very scary. Think about it (His voice lowers slightly - somewhat menacingly.) All they hear is the barking.
(Judy looks at Hugh with trepidation. She begins to exit.)
Judy Neutron: I'll get you some water, dear. Maybe we can flush that junk out of your system as early as this evening.
Hugh Neutron: Sounds fun! (He holds up his steno pad.) I can entertain you with my newest story that was bestowed to me from the gift of nature's remedies. (He poses proudly.) I'm like a shark, creating wonderful works of fiction without tiring from the constant consumption of flesh. It's their very will of pure survival.
(He raises both his arms in the air in glee.)
Hugh Neutron: Atom-way!
(CUE Rotating Atom.)
(CUT To EXT. Shot of an open grass field with purple and gray shrubbery. Obviously some sort of alien environment. The camera PANS to Jimmy and Sheen overlooking a desert from a hill. Goddard approaches to join them.)
Sheen: So now we got the monetary value on that mysterious alien treasure, Jimmy. Now what?
Jimmy: Well, the Junkman said to return it once we knew of the price, so then we can finally bail out of being his bounty hunters for good but seeing as..
(A cheerful ringing is heard. Goddard cocks his head at the unexpected noise.)
Jimmy (remembering): Oh, the intergalactic cell phone.
(He removes it from his pocket and flips it open before putting it to his ear. Sheen smiles and walks off camera.)
(CUT To INT Shot. Inside The Junkman's ship. He is tending to a rusting husk of a broken ship wing; he speaks while working. Obviously talking via a speakerphone mode. Roxy, his alien dog, watches him close by. She gives an indifferent yawn.)
The Junkman (impatiently): Neutron! Where is my treasure? You're using it for yourself aren't you, you selfish water sack!
(We CUT back to Jimmy on the alien grass field.)
Jimmy: Yeah, about that. I was thinking, since we've been doing all the work for you the past three days, part of the bounty from the treasure should go to us.
The Junkman (voice over from the phone): But I've already put down the initial investment. The tank!
(Jimmy turns around to view a massive futuristic looking tank. It shines with amazing sparkle and is equipped with twin cannons and insect-like legs with wheels. A fine looking mech-tank, indeed.)
Jimmy: Well, the tank is nice and all but it doesn't really help in acquiring treasure. Besides, I have Goddard with me. He can do countless functions compared to any tank.
(Goddard gives a happy "Wuf" to the compliment.)
Jimmy: In fact, we can't even leave it alone with the treasure, since you'll use your copy of the remote control to steal it from us; so it's kind of a pain.
The Junkman (voiceover): That's beside the point!
(Jimmy frowns and disconnects the cell with a beeping sound.)
Jimmy (fed-up): Feh, forget it.
(The camera ZOOMS out to a WIDE Shot. We notice Sheen surrounded by a multitude of shining rocks and gems. A large treasure chest is near by and he's wearing a jewel encrusted tiara and holding a silver scepter. He grins as Jimmy tosses the cell phone away.)
Sheen: Did he give in to our demands, Jimmy?
Jimmy (he turns to his friend): No. We better get moving, Sheen. He's probably going to try to shoot us with a satellite or something.
(Jimmy and Sheen pick up the pace as they attempt to get moving on as Goddard opens his back to release a mini satellite dish. He eyes the skies suspiciously.)
Unexpected Narrator: But The Junkman's plans are quite different!
(CUT To INT WIDE Shot inside the Junkman's ship. To our surprise, he is speaking with Cindy. Her arms crossed in an uninterested fashion.)
The Junkman (demanding): Female water sack! Your carbon bag friends have rebelled. I want you to get my treasure from them.
Cindy (boredly): Sounds tedious. What do I get?
The Junkman (furious): What! (He shakes two of his fists in frustration.) YOU want to be paid as well?
Cindy (mockingly): Um, yeah.
The Junkman (he snarls): Fine! If you bring back the treasure, you'll get half of it.
Cindy (interested): Really? That's surprisingly generous for one of Neutron's adversaries.
The Junkman (he shrugs): Well, mind you; you'll be getting the bad half, of course.
Cindy (apathetically) : Oh. Well, my instinct tells me not to but I'm bored, so okay.
(CUT To EXT Shot of Cindy riding on a futuristic looking motorbike across a desert. )
Unexpected Narrator: And, so. The adventure begins!
Cindy (uninterested): Meh.
(CUT To EXT WIDE Shot of a Auto Shop in the middle of the desert. Jimmy is assisting Goddard to clean sand out of his back. The metal dog coughs loudly as more sand is expelled from him. Sheen is talking with a person dressed in heavy white armor. The amazingly built mech tank is seen close by.)
Armored Man (he indicates the tank): About that tank...
Sheen (excitable): Right! I want the whole thing gold plated, a platinum DVD player that plays diamond DVDs, and, like, ten subwoofers made out of emeralds. (His voice loudens.) We've got that much treasure!
Jimmy (suspiciously): Hmm, I wonder why The Junkman hasn't done something yet. (He scoops out some more sand from Goddard.) It can't be anything good, I can tell you that.
Sheen (He looks to his friend): Chillax Jimmy. I'm sure we just slipped past him just in time. What's there to worry about?
Cindy (off camera): Me!
(The boys gasp; Goddard gives a surprised squeak. The camera PANS quickly to show a Cindy, one hand on her hip as she gives an intimidating look.)
Jimmy (off camera + surprised): Cindy!
(Cindy approaches them. The Armored Man is clearly puzzled.)
Sheen (pointing an accusing finger): The Junkman sent you, didn't he?
Armored Man (?): Um...
Jimmy (he relaxes a little): Heh, he's obviously losing his intimidating qualities. (He looks at Cindy.) He offered to pay you didn't he? You should join us. We pay better.
Cindy (defiantly): No dice, renegades.
(Cindy then kicks a nearby stone from the sand in the air. She then executes a jumping roundhouse kick to propel the stone towards the boys. It zooms at them in amazing speed. Only to pass them and hit the white armored man right between the eyes. He collapses heavily. The boys and Goddard watch this silently.)
Sheen (disappointed): Aw, he was gonna pimp out our robot tank.
Jimmy (to Cindy + Annoyed): Seriously, why would you do that?
Cindy (threateningly): To make a point, Spewtron! Now what was it you were saying?
(Jimmy puts a hand out toward her.)
Jimmy: Disobey The Junkman, and join us.
(Cindy ponders of this for a few moments. She approaches Jimmy.)
Cindy (she shrugs): Okay, sure.
(They shake on it. Jimmy and Cindy exchange agreeing smiles.)
Armored Man (weakly): Double vision settling in...
Unexpected Narrator: Unaware of this development, The Junkman plans his victory celebration.
(CUT To INT Shot of The Junkman's ship. He is observing the main window of his ship, watching stars and asteroids float by. One pair of his hands is clasped behind his back, a third hand is twirling a pencil slowly. A casual yet concentrating look is on his face as he remains silent.)
Unexpected Narrator: Of course.. he doesn't say anything out loud.
(CUT back to Jimmy and the others. They are now riding atop the mech-type tank that was provided to them across the remaining desert. Goddard gives a sneeze as he expels more sand from his system. Cindy frowns at the boys.)
Cindy (snippety): You know, when you asked me to join you, I assumed you had some kind of plan.
Jimmy (curtly): Yeah, well, you should've checked. Too late now.
Sheen (ditto): Yeah, really, how long have you known us?
Cindy (she huffs): Geh, whatever. But seriously, what are we going to do? The Junkman has plenty of time on his hands. He's going to do whatever he can to reclaim the bounty.
Sheen (he starts pouring some water into a metal cup): She's right, Jimmy. I'm hungry.. (his voice becomes a shout) we should go get some fried shrimp! I'm sure there's an ocean on this crazy alien planet.
Jimmy: Hold up, we still have to find some way to fix the tank to our favor. With the sand affecting Goddard's circuitry we'll need to depend on the tank for the rest of our transportation.
Cindy (puzzled): Hey, I've been meaning to ask this, who's driving this thing?
Jimmy (casually): Hmm? Oh, The Junkman. He's got his own remote unit for the tank.
Cindy (angrily): What? Then why are we still on this thing?
Sheen (he sips from his cup): Ah, its no big deal. Jimmy said that the incoming transmissions can be blocked if I put this cup over the antenna.
Cindy (she glares at Sheen): So.. why is it there, in your hand, and not on the antenna, Ultra Moron?
Sheen (defensively): 'Cause I'm thirsty! And this is my favorite cup! You expect me to drink out of some regular cup?
Cindy: Oh, for.. What's so great about it?
Sheen: Well, okay, it's not that great. I mean, it's only my third favorite cup, and it may not have Ultra Lord on it but its made of metal and has this sweet picture of a black unicorn on the side. (He pauses.) Not that I like unicorns or anything.
(Cindy rolls her eyes at the comment. Sheen takes another gulp from his cup.)
Sheen: Besides, I'm almost done, what could the Junkman try to do anyway?
Jimmy (matter-of-factly): Trying to dump us from that cliff, maybe.
(The camera expands to a WIDE Shot to show the tank is heading toward a deep cliff in the dessert - its a long way down to further miles of sand.)
Cindy (AH!): Quick! Now! Put it over the antenna!
Sheen (apathetically): Eh, why bother. It's too late already. (He holds his cup.) Besides, I'm not done. (He takes another sip.)
(The tank tips slightly and Jimmy and co. fall. They scream loudly as they plummet)
Jimmy (yelling): Goddard! Can you manage Helicopter Mode?
(Goddard barks and his ears rotate swiftly as he begins to fly. Jimmy grasps one of Goddard's legs and holds out his other hand to catch Cindy; she outstretches her hand in time to catch his. Sheen then grabs one of Cindy's legs to avoid falling. Goddard flies down erratically from the added weight. They tumble down on the sand; a bit jumbled but not too hurt from the experience.)
Sheen (he pats down his pants): Ew, I got sand in all the wrong places.
(Goddard shakes his head and gives a tired growl. Jimmy smiles and pats his robot dog on the muzzle.)
Jimmy: Nice save, boy.
Cindy (yelling and shaking a fist at the tank above): You backstabbing tank! Wait til the next time I meet your cheat of a creator!
Sheen (miffed): Yeah! It's gonna be scrap time when we get to you!
(The tank hums. Its twin cannons move and aims at them. Cindy and Sheen's faces fall in terror; Goddard flattens his ears to his head.)
Cindy (shouting): Run for it!
Jimmy (he raises a hand): Easy guys, I think I know of what to do.
(Jimmy raises his arm, the one with his awesome watch on it, and fires a beam at the clump of sand that the tank is resting on. It begins to fall down, twisting and flipping in the air. After a few climactic seconds of spinning it gracefully lands on its insect-like leg wheels. Cindy and Sheen "Woa..." in unison.)
Cindy (amazed): Wow! That was pretty impressive!
Jimmy (proudly): Heh, yeah, I guess so. I simply balanced a magnetizing beam with the basic laser to-
Cindy: Huh? Oh, I ment the tank. It's surprisingly agile, landing like that so easily; but your laser trick thing from your watch was cool, too.
Jimmy (icily as he looks away from her): Oh. Thanks.
Cindy (To Sheen): Alright you, put your cup on the tank. Where is it anyway?
Sheen: I put it in my pocket. My drink spilled; what'd you expect?
Cindy (she snaps): Well put it on before this thing goes berserk again! Then we can take it to a shop to fix it to our advantage, or something!
(CUT To a White background with black text displaying: One Boring Fix Up Later..!)
Unexpected Narrator: One Boring Fix Up Later..!
(CUT To INT. Shot inside DNA Animation Studios (the place that animates the show - fans should know!). A man with a shaggy hairstyle and sporting a polo shirt with "DNA Studios" on the front of it. He gets up from a fancy computer he was working on. A tired and relieved look on his face.)
Computer Animator Guy (extremely relieved): Finally! I don't have to render and animate that crazily detailed tank anymore! Thank God!
(CUT To EXT. Shot outside a different Auto Shop in the desert. Jimmy and the others step outside weilding large bags - clearly the treasure they have acquired.)
Sheen (joyfully): Alright! Now we can run off as intergalactic fugitives with our share of the treasure!
Cindy: I'll say, I've got plenty of plans for my share of the booty.
(The Auto Shop behind them suddenly explodes. Jimmy and co. are blasted back from the force of the back draft. The kids, including Goddard, stagger to their feet as smoke and sand cloud their vision.)
Cindy (she rubs the side of her head): Un, what hit us?
Jimmy (he points up to the sky): Head's up, guys!
(The dust begins to settle and we notice a silhouette of two people swinging from a rope. As it comes closer to our field of vision we see that it is Libby and Carl grasping the rope; a rocket launcher is mounted on Libby's shoulder - its cannon still smoking.)
Libby (forcefully): Surrender the treasure, chumps!
Carl (ditto): Yeah!
(The two leap from the rope toward Jimmy et all. Libby lands gracefully while Carl falls with loud and painful impact on his stomach. Ouch...)
Jimmy & Cindy (in perplexed unison): Libby? Carl?
Sheen (he points at the sky as he looks to Libby): What the heck was that rope connected to anyway?
Libby (ignoring Sheen): That's right. The Junkman hired the both of us to get back his treasure!
Sheen (he grins): Cool, so you want to betray him, too? We'll split the loot with you.
(Libby tosses the rocket launcher away; Carl gets to his feet to straighten his glasses and to dust himself off.)
Libby (obstinately): Feh, as if! He said he'd give us half of the treasure. With you guys we would only get two fifths.
Cindy (tauntingly): Pfft, yeah, the bad half; if you're the sort of girl who'd settle for that.
Libby: Uh, I don't know what kind of deal you cut, but we got the medium half.
Jimmy: So the medium half..
Carl: Is half of the good half and half of the bad half.
(We CUT to a CLOSE UP of Cindy's angry face. Her eyes blazing with fury.)
Cindy (mad!): Then half of your half - is half of my half! You jerks!
(The camera ZOOMS out to show that Cindy is actually sitting down on a lawn chair with a glass of iced tea - little umbrella included. Libby can only give an unimpressed stare to her good friend's surprise laziness.)
Libby: Um.. aren't you going to do something?
Carl (?): How'd you even get a drink when Libby blew up the Auto Shop?
Cindy (she turns her head to Sheen): Sheen! Beat them up!
Sheen (irked): What? Okay, one, I'd lose, two, you can't boss me around, and three, I don't want to - (he crosses his arms) so no.
Cindy (in a loud whisper): I'll give you half of my half of the treasure.
Sheen (a finger under his chin): Hmm, well, in that case..
(Goddard cocks his head as he watches Sheen walk up to Libby and Carl.)
Sheen (compromising): Look, if you guys play along I'll give you half of the half of her half she said she'd give me.
Libby (agree!): Okay.
Carl (he nods): Works for me.
Jimmy (he smiles): Great! (His voice suddenly angers) Anyone have suggestions for transport seeing as how "someone" blew up our only means of travel. (He darts a curt look at Libby.)
Libby (sheepishly) Eh-heh... I suppose the walk will do us all good.
(A shrill buzzing scream erupts with ear splitting volume. Jimmy and the gang flinch from the unexpected noise. A huge wasp-type mecha lands with a menacing thud near them. Taloned bug feet and menacing green and silver markings and opaque insect wings shine with ominous brightness. It gives a fierce "Screeee!")
Cindy (nervously): A little sprint wouldn't hurt either.
(They all take off running from this new crazy mecha.)
Sheen (loud): Seriously, what's with all these mech-type machines anyway?
(The wasp robot spreads its wings and zooms up ahead of them. It lands in front of the kid's way of escape. They skid to a stop as it gives a loud insectile scream.)
Cindy (to Jimmy): A brain blast would be good about now!
(Before Jimmy can "think, think" the chest cavity of the wasp robot opens up. A dramatic second ticks by before Mr. and Mrs. Weezer, Carl's parents, pop up in view.)
Mr. Weezer (giving a happy wave): Hey son! How are things?
Mrs. Weezer: You wearin' sun block, dearie? This alien sun can't be good for your skin.
Jimmy (confusion goes here): Mr. and Mrs. Weezer?
Carl (ditto): Mom, Dad, what are you here for?
Mr. Weezer: That Junkman fellow was hoping we could get his treasure back from you kids; he even gave us this swell wasp mecha to assist in our mission.
Mrs. Weezer (cheery): Diamond alloy armor, vulcan cannons and a darling little rec room in the thorax cavity. It was too good to pass up.
Mr. Weezer: The Junkman is sure generous; he said he'd give us three quarters of the bounty if we brought it back to him.
Carl (whiny): Daa-ad!
(Jimmy gives his forehead a tired slap at this continuing wackiness. Goddard groans angrily. Cindy's eye catches something to her right - the camera PANS to show Tabessa, the crazy future girl from the fanfic Sheen: Ruiner Of Hope and the first chapter of this story, approach them. Cindy's eyes lower in fed up disgust.)
Cindy (unenthusiastic): And, oh gee, here comes that one dimensional future girl.
Tabessa (demanding): Alright, that Junkman guy said he'd give me 120 percent, which is way more than any of you. So I'm the boss of this search and return mission, and you all have to do what I say!
(CUT TO INT. Shot inside the Junkman's ship. He is leaning back in his cockpit chair, infuriated annoyance marked on his face as he listens to the conversation taking place.)
Tabessa (her voice heard from the speakerphone): Now bring me one of those Chocolate Choo-Choos!
The Junkman (one hand to his head): Gah, I can't take any more of this
(Another oneof his hands moves toward a tile on his control panel. He flips it open to reveal another tile marked BLOW UP UNIVERSE BUTTON.)
The Junkman (apathetically): Even though this is all my doing.
(He flips up the other tile to press the white button housed underneath.)
(CUT To EXT Shot of a massive fireball spreading throughout space. Annihilating every planet and star in view.)
Carl (off camera): Oooh! Pretty lights!
(CUT to a CLOSE UP of Hugh Neutron. A content look upon his face.)
Hugh Neutron (calm and cheery): And everybody died.
(Hugh's face suddenly falls into a puzzled frown. The camera ZOOMS out to show that he is tied up with a layer of rope as he sits on the couch.)
Hugh Neutron (puzzled): D'hey! What happened here?
(Judy walks by her husband without giving a second glance.)
Judy Neutron (indifferent): I tied you up while you were telling your dreary story. I'm going shopping; maybe then you will have settled down from that caffeine overdose.
(Judy exits. The closing of a door is heard. Hugh surveys his predicament.)
Hugh Neutron: Writers sure go through a lot of unpredictable obstacles.
(Hugh is silent for a few seconds.)
Hugh Neutron (cheerfully): I think I'll roll about on the floor till she gets back!
(Hugh collapses off the couch with an amusing thump and begins to roll around randomly; laughing gaily at the bizarre experience.)
Hugh Neutron (he laughs): Wee-hee! Roll, man, roll! Yeee!
(CUE Rotating Atom.)