I know, I know, you want me to be working on Let the Fire Fall or another one of my angsty stories… unfortunately, this is not your lucky day…or is it? Jason's Pond is now updated, so get ready for more knee-slappin' funniness than you can handle (that's why we have doggie-bags xD).
To faithful JP fans, thanks for your support and sorry for the quad-monthly lapse. Won't happen again.
Jason's Pond: Season 2
A Dr. Pepper a Day Keeps the Coke Away
("Teenage Wasteland" plays in the background)
Katie, Scott, Mike, Alex, Beast Boy and Raven, Jason's best friends, were once again sitting in their usual amphitheater spot, talking about the usual teenage problems that, well, weren't really problems to begin with.
"…So then she said that I was a failure at life, and told me that my manhood was laughable!" Beast Boy said to Scott, crying. Raven laughed. "Yeah, I sure did."
Alex was gushing about the newest German techno song he had found. "It's the best one yet!" he said happily, dancing like a disgruntled nun. "You said that about Numa Numa." Mike responded, bored. "That wasn't German, smart one! It was totally different…d'uh!" Alex said, shaking his head.
Just then, a bottle of Dr. Pepper fell from the sky and landed on Mike. His skin started to sizzle and he screamed quite loudly. "It burnssss! Help me, beautiful Coca Cola!" Too bad Coke sucks, haha…
Scott took the bottle and opened it, drinking it quickly. "I wonder where this came from?"
His question was pretty much answered when Jason came walking to the amphitheater, dragging his broken legs and laughing. "I'm baaack!"
"Uh, Jason, how are you walking on broken legs?" Katie asked, scared.
"Oh, yeah, funny story about that."
"…well, aren't you going to tell it?"
"Um, no, not really," he said, sitting down. Katie started to cry and asked an invisible friend she calls "Jesus" to kill Jason. Strange girl, huh?
"So, Jason, where have you been? You missed like an entire semester," Scott said, playing World of Warcraft on his computer that was hooked up to orange extension cords that were 17,518 feet long.
"Yeah, Raven and I went looking for you. We even called the police," Beast Boy said, sitting next to me.
"LAWL," I commented smartly. "I was doing business."
"What kind of business?"
-LOVE MY FLASHBACKS!-
"Alright, so, if you let me extend the show another seven seasons, I promise to give you all the babies you can eat," Jason said nervously to the masked figure.
"Mmm, alright, kid, you have a deal," the figure said, and shooed him out the door.
Oprah Winfrey pulled her mask off and cackled evilly. Oprah always wins in the end…
"Who the hell was that?" Raven said, looking around. "It's probably that foreign exchange student who keeps following me around!"
Just then, a boy completely dressed in drag came over, sitting down next to the friends. "Hullo, mein name is Justin Humpenthrust. Vill you be mein friend, Ravey-en?" Beast Boy busted up laughing. "Aww, of course she will, Humpen…thrust…" and laughed even harder.
"Oh, vunderbar! Mein last friend ran away. She, uh, how you say, coo-mitted ze suicide?"
"Damn, this is more awkward then the time I came to school high as a kite," Jason noted.
-FLASHBACK SPONSORED BY SHADEYMIKE-
Mr. Richards saw Jason walking through the hall, laughing his ass off. "Hey, yeah you, do you have a hall pass?"
"Yeah, I gots one right here," he laughed, taking out a piece of gum. "Heres you go."
"This isn't a hall pass."
"Yeah, it is, Mr. Lincoln. Sayyy, you look like one fugleh bitch I met on the express train last Sunderday," Jason giggled, dancing around in circles.
"Son, I'm thinking you're on marijuana. I'm going to get the campus police."
"And I'm thinking you tooks your fugleh pills this morning, too," Jason giggled, coughing.
"You're so hurtful!" Mr. Richards sobbed, running away.
Jason continued to giggle like the idiot he was, high or not.
Sure enough, the little reunion was ruined when Cyborg and Robin came walking up, this time decked out in G-Unit clothing and fake ice around their necks.
"Yo, my female dog- I mean, bitches! I'm da…uh…what I am Cyborg?" Robin whispered to Cyborg.
"Robinator, yo," Cyborg whispered.
"Right. I'm da Robinator!"
The rest of them looked at each other, then laughed uncontrollably.
"Well, at least it's funnier than the emo scene!" Mike laughed.
"Show 'em, Robinator!" Cyborg yelled, pulling out a pink mini radio labeled "My First Pretty Pink MC Radio, Yo". He turned it on and "I'm a Little Pony" came on.
"Aww, shit, wrong side," he said, turning over the tape. A God-awful beat came belting out like Rosie O' Donnell eating a cat.
"My name is Robin
My apples are for bobbin'
My rhymes are hot
Like a parking lot!
I'll waste all you suckers
Then go get a burger at my local Fuddruckers!
Jason grabbed the radio from Cyborg and smashed it against the cement into a million pieces. Robin and Cyborg screamed and ran away sobbing.
"Geez, Jason, this is stupider than when you invited Matt Damon over a slumber party!" commented Beast Boy…
-FLASHBACK MOST LIKELY SPONSORED BY BLAZE-FIRESTORM-
"Like, oh em gee, your nails look great!" Mike squealed, admiring Beast Boy's newly-painted nails.
"Like, OK, guys, let's play truth or dare!" Jason giggled, and the other boys squealed in delight.
"Like, truth or dare Mattiepoo?"
"Umm, kayyy… who's your celebrity crush?"
The boys began to giggle and squeal again…
Jason shook his head. "Yeah, that's a wrap."
"Raven and Starfire forever!" yelled some pervert sitting behind us, then got up and ran off.
Wow…yeah, just comment. xD