--Jack, I'm a Man--

--Chapter 2 : I don't own no Speedos--


--Captain Matey Sparrow--


Disclaimer : I do not own "Pirates of the Caribbean: Deadman's Chest" or it's sequel, and I do not own the third, of which is not out yet, either. Obviously, I don't own it's characters either. And, I also do not own Indiana Jones, the Teletubbies, Slimfast or Speedos. But, somehow, I've managed. So, with that said, HA! Sue me:P. (Seriously, don't sue me! I'm nothing but a teenage girl of which appears to have no life at all.)


Note : I know, I know. It's been like a year since I updated this. Well, guess what? After that long wait, you all finally get what you've been waiting for! A, the second chapter. Well, I kept getting trouble with this little chappy. Why? Because as soon as I'd be finished it, or half way done or something, something would always happen. The computer would restart itself, would freeze, or I clicked "no" on the "do you wish to save before leaving" thing when it popped up. Well, I finally got it right this time. :P.


"I never said I wanted to sleep with bloody Gibbs!" Shouted Anamaria, looking around to make sure no one heard her as she shouted.

"Yes, ye' did, lass." Jack smirked, proud of himself. Jack and Anamaria always tried to piss each other off in such ways.

"No, I didn't. I said I'd rather sleep with Gibbs than you!" She hissed, pointing her finger viciously at Jack, but he did nothing more then merely widen his grin.

"But lass, ye' do want to sleep with me, so if ye'd rather with Gibbs..." Jack trailled off, noticing Gibbs was headed towards them.

"Look lass," said Gibbs as he reached them, "I be flattered, but..."

"I told Jack I'd rather sleep with you then him, he took it the wrong way," she said, embarassed of the situation.

"I guess, since she's a man, and a woman, and dresses like a woman to attract men, she's probably a homosexuel. And since I'm far from being a homosexuel," Jack grinned, "she, or he, or it probably preffers homosexuels, and she thought of you."

Gibbs looked confused, "so, ye be tellin' me that Anamaria is a woman who's a man who's an it that is a homosexuel and is attracted to homosexuel men who are straight?"

Jack nodded, "aye."

Anamaria shook her head. God. What a bunch of idiots.

"Jack," Anamaria began through her teeth, "how is that suppost to make any sense?"

"Simple," Jack began, then continued after a short 5 second paused, "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."

"You mean a pathetic of an excuse of a captain, Captain Jackass." Anamaria muttered under her breath. Jack merely raised an eyebrow towards her, and turned back to Gibbs.

"Ya know, mate. You slap on a pair of Speedos, it'll be on ye like a cat on catnip," Jack forced himself not to smile at said situation.

"I don't own no Speedos," replied Gibbs, "not since..." Gibbs trailled off.

"Ah, yes. I had forgotten about that," said Jack with a slow nod.

Anamaria made a face, "Speedos are disgusting."

Gibbs turned towards her, somewhat offeded, "that be what ye'd say, until you actually try them."

Anamaria shook her head, "ENOUGH ABOUT GOD DAMNED SPEEDOS!" With that, she walked away.

With that, Jack looked towards Gibbs, "if she be a woman, this would prove that it really is bad luck to have women aboard."


'finally,' thought Anamaria as she spotted the man she'd been searching for, 'I've found Mr Cotton.'

"Hey, Mr. Cotton," shouted Anamria, "Come 'ere!" Mr. Cotton walked towards her.

In a whisper, she said, "y'know what?" Cotton shook his head, so she continued, "Captain Jack wants to sleep with ye'"


To be continued...