AN: Yes, I suck at updating. I read my author's note from the last update and laughed my butt off. I iz such a liar. Sorry to the people following this fic. I'll try to be better, I really will. Forgive me?
Thank you most awesome reviewers, Angel-Mary, Moonlit Eyes, and Digi-Girl101, and thanks other awesome people who've added the fic to their favourites and reminded me I should update already. You guys, reading the fic, reviewing the fic all rock hard core!
In this chapter Dai does something potentially stupid.
x . o . x
It is surprisingly easy to skip school. People always compare school to jail but convicts can't leave jail as easy as I leave, walking out the front door and out to the street. I can't help feeling smug as I board the subway pulling out a comic and hiding my face. No one notices you when you don't look guilty and I'm not anyway. I'm not reading my comic but drifting off into space thinking, of course, about Yamato.
It's weird how I stayed over at TK's last night. He was pretty cool about the whole thing. He apologised for how he'd acted before and was nice. I guess he's an ok guy. I think I might like him. He's no Ken or anything but, then again no one's perfect. He's a good brother and a good friend. At my stop, I slip off the subway as easily as I got on. I'm totally a ninja. I stuff the comic back into my bag, check the street signs, and head off towards my destination.
I try not to think about where I'm going.
I hope Chibimon's ok. I didn't take him with me to see Yamato so he's been all alone for a while. I'm not worried. He can take care of himself. He probably snuck out after Jun left and raided the fridge. As long as he didn't make a mess I sure it'll be fine.
It doesn't work. I can't distract myself.
I'm not walking home to check on my digimon. I should be but I'm not. I'm miles away from my house. Honesty, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm standing outside of Yamato's apartment complex staring up at it. It's not a fun place to stand when you know your boyfriend isn't on the inside waiting for you to come over. Not fun at all when your boyfriend is a giant bruise and the person responsible is there lying in wait. I hesitate at the doorway. I'm…I'm not scared.
I wish Yamato were here.
It doesn't matter though. I have to do what I came here to do. I try to draw on that courage I'm supposed to have and take a deep breath slipping into the building in as some guy steps out. I'm glad I don't have to try and fail to have Yamato's Dad buzz me in. Up tree flights of stairs and I'm there outside the apartment. I just kinda stare at the door number, three hundred and fourteen. I've been here so many times before, my fear is an alien thing, but the thing is…Yamato isn't behind the door and I'm not here to see him.
Finally, I knock. I have no idea what I'm doing. I've met Yamato's Dad before a few times when I was over at the apartment. He had seemed nice not the kind of guy who would beat his son cause he's dating a boy. Not the kind of guy who tries to kill his son after catching him make out with a boy. He just seemed like a guy, like a dad. A good dad. Heck, he's around more then my Dad I figured he was pretty decent. Now…
He opens the door and he looks…well like crap. He has a major five-o-clock shadow and is in rumpled clothes like he slept in them. I'm not a violent person, off the soccer field and out of the Digi world that is, but I can't help but be happy at the black eye and puffy nose no doubt caused by Yamato. He looks at me with a wordless wooden expression that makes me nervous. I swallow.
"Hello Mr. Ishida. Um I don't know if you recognize me. I'm Daisuke Moto..."
"I recognize you."
A very awkward silence follows and he just looks at me stonily.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" I say finally. The voice of reason that lives in my head wonders what I'm gonna do if this man that's twice my size tries to kill me. I ignore that voice.
There's another pause and he just kinda shrugs. Just when I think he's gonna slam the door in my face or something worse he moves away from the door walking back into the apartment.
I step in carefully and close the door behind me. He's already in the kitchen so I kick off my shoes and hurry after him. He's sitting at the table and gestures to the seat across from him. I sit down. He has a cigarette stuck in his mouth and a full ashtray in front of him. The air is blue. Maybe he feels bad about what he did to Yamato and if so good. He should feel bad.
He focuses his eyes that are kinda wet and red from either alcohol or lack of sleep and studies me. He butts out his cigarette and pulls out another from a battered pack by the ashtray. He lights it and takes a drag.
"You said your name is Motomiya Daisuke?"
"Are you pressing charges?"
Charges? I can press charges? Because he hit my boyfriend? My cop shows never mentioned anything about that. I try to imagine how that would look in some gritty drama with me dressed in a suit pointing at Yamato's Dad. 'Officer arrest that man! He beat up my boyfriend who I only recently realized that I love. Take him away!'
Well I'd look cool but Yama won't play the battled girl. Plus, with my crying like a little girl it be more likely me filling the girl role. Hmm… Anyway cops and lawyers won't help anything anyway.
"No." I say finally. Mr. Ishida looks at me like a puzzle he can't figure out.
"Then why are you here?"
"Well…I'm here about Yamato."
"He's not here. It's been taken care of."
Taken care of? Hitting him is the same as…I flare in anger but underneath I get a twinge of fear. Man, oh man, I am so out of my element here. Still, for Yamato, I have to give it another try. I try to stay calm; Cody would be so proud of me.
"Sir, I need to talk to you about Yamato." I don't know what I would even say to him. I did not plan ahead. 'What you did was wrong. You sir are a bad man. Feel shame.' I'm so stupid. I'm so incredibly stupid.
"I know all I need to know about 'Yamato'." His fist hits the table at his son's name and I jump. "As far as I'm concerned it's settled."
"It's not." I want to hit the table. I have the right to be mad, not him. What, is he too scared to beat me up? He'll hit Yamato but that's all he's will to do in hatred? I want him to just try and hit me.
He doesn't so much as more towards me.
"It's not." He parrots back gruffly. "If you aren't pressing charges I can't see how it's-"
"That's not the problem. It won't solve anything." He flinches and I'm confused. Does he want to be arrested? Does he feel guilt?
"I'm angry and maybe I'm hurt but that doesn't matter. See I know Yamato very well and I know that-"
Now it's his turn to cut me off.
"Are you trying to protect him or something?" He's surprised and something else that I can't read.
"I don't know what you mean." Of course, I want to protect Yamato.
"Look kid." He sighs like an old man and takes another puff on his cigarette. "I don't know what's going on in your head. I'm no consoler. I'm sorry what my boy did but it's been taken care of to the best of my abilities. I'm not sending him to jail. I've dealt with him already so he doesn't need a confused little kid to stick up for him."
I stare at him all…is aghast a real word? Aghast aghast. I am aghast because that can't be what happened here yesterday. Except I'm starting to think it is. I get what's going on and it's not pretty. Because my first impressions aren't that wrong and it's not that Mr. Ishida beats up his gay son. He beats up the son that disappointed him, that disgusts him but not his son that's dating another boy. It's his son that…that isn't a very good person. A son that brings boys to his apartment, boys that press charges and need counselling. My stomach clenches.
I can see his Dad thinking like that, seeing Yamato as a jerk and all. I mean I thought he was jerk when I met him. He thought I was some stupid little kid too. Then that thing in the Digiworld happened. Then...well then I was sure he was a jerk, and an asshole, a psychotic freak. He smacked me around then tied me up. He's intense. He doesn't spend time at home. He keeps weird hours. He brings people back to the apartment. He brings me back to the apartment and Yamato's Dad thinks I need counselling.
Dads aren't supposed to think that.
I understand Yamato but I don't. I listen but it's not like he talks. But still it's shouldn't be hard to see…if you bother to look. If you don't just assume…
He's no more a jerk then me, then any other person you know. He's only human. His feeling can get hurt. Only he won't let it out like Yolei or Mimi. Or Jyou. Or even me and Tai or most people eventually do. He keeps it in, like he's crying on the inside. Like Ken. Ken does it too, not let his feelings out. In a big way those two are the same even if they don't know it. In a greedy kinda selfish way I know they need me. They need hugs mostly, at least that's what I think. Of course they're different really a lot. In a big way. At least Ken cries. Yamato? I don't think so. At least not enough to fix any thing.
I think he got it from his Dad 'cause I think Mr. Ishida's like that too. Suspicious and distrustful, I might as well be talking to Yamato. He's so bitter and inside himself, he can't trust his own son. I want to pity him.
He hit my Yamato. He's not forgiven. But…Yamato loves him even if he doesn't know it. That a least will make me try to fix things.
I think I've been rambling in my head long enough and Mr. Ishida is just looking at me like a freaky lizard at the zoo.
Confused little kid to sticking up for Yamato? I am so out of my element. What am I supposed to do? I breathe and I look Yamato's Dad in the eye.
"First I'm not a little kid. I didn't come here to lie for Yamato. He doesn't even know I'm here. He wouldn't want me here. I'm here on my own will and he didn't do any thing wrong."
"You're saying my son didn't do anything wrong?" The man gives me a sharp look. "How old are you?" I look at him for a second wondering if I should lie.
"Thirteen." I say finally and it sound incredibly young. Maybe I should have lied.
"So it's not wrong for my son to molest a thirteen year-old boy in my apartment?"
Molest? I can't believe this man. Molest? Like rape? Like force someone down and…that's what it means isn't it? Yamato would never do that to me. He'd never do that to anyone.
"He wasn't trying to rape me!" and I do hit the table standing and slapping both my palms on its surface. Me, I'm mad. Mr. Ishida stands to but less towering more pitying. I feel sick. He thinks that Yamato tried to-
"Maybe not rape you he was..."
"It wasn't anything like that!"
"Then exactly what was it? I hear a scream and come in to find you pinned under him." He's disgusted and I'm just standing here going red. The table's supporting my weight now.
"I..." I'm already blushing because I know what my mind going to make me say. I try again, "I wanted him to do it. I…liked it."
"What about when you told him to let you go?" Mr. Ishida is serious. His dark eyes are watching me closely because he thinks I'm lying. He thinks that his son seduced me, forced his hands all over me, and that I'm lying to cover it up. My face is still red and it's not changing. I remember how I acted. No wonder everyone treats me like a little kid who's too stupid to make decisions. I can hear my voice telling Yamato how I wanted to 'play too'. Man I can't even say thing like make out without blushing.
"I wanted to do it back. Y-you know. Hold him back. He was just teasing me 'cause he knows I...like..." I close my eye gulping at the difficulty of getting these words out. "…like to...hug and stuff." Except it wasn't just hugging and I don't know what I've gotten myself into. Why is Yamato even dating me?
"No, you're confused-"
"I'm not. I wanted to be with him. I kissed him first," I'm lying now but I don't care because Mr. Ishida doesn't get it. I might have well have started it and didn't I drugging Yamato in the first place? So I started it, I liked the first kiss, I forgave Yamato, I go on dates with him, and I am not a passive little flower. I'm not a passive little anything.
"No," he looks like he wants it so much to be no.
"Yes. We were kissing, together when you walked in." I sit back down not looking him in the eye. I'm not sure where my anger went.
Mr. Ishida looks like I punched him. He sits down and pulls the cigarette out of his mouth staring at it. He doesn't seem to really be looking at it because it falls from his fingers to smoulder in the ashtray.
"So you two were just..." He looks up at me staring. "It...it was mutual?" I nod.
"Yes. It was."
He covers his face in his hands. "Christ! I don't believe this." I look up eyes hot.
"It's the truth!" I hit the table again. Ah, that's where my anger went.
He looks back up at me startled. "That's not what I mean. I believe you." He grunts then pulls out another cigarette lighting it then puffing on it. "Sweet Christ, I just can't believe it."
"Well it's the truth. He wasn't hurting me. He was kissing me."
"And so you're what? His…"
"I'm his boyfriend."
He doesn't say anything just stares at me like I'm the scariest thing he's ever seen freaky zoo lizard be damned.
"How long?" He finally chokes out.
"What? I don't understand."
"How long. How long have you two been…?"
"Dating." He swears again, gets up, and begins pacing the kitchen. He looks at me, judging.
"So Matt's gay?" I shrug. I don't know. "Are you?" I shrug again. I have no idea. It never really came up. I never really thought about it. Our relationship went more like, You like me? Wow I like you too! Let's go eat ice cream. I like to look at Yamato and I like when he touches me but I like how girls look too.
"Look Mr. Ishida." I grab his arm on one of his treks across the kitchen. "I know you don't want to hear this but it's the truth. I didn't come here to cause trouble. But I love Yamato and I'm not going to break up with him because of this or because of you."
He looks at me as if he's afraid of me or maybe just afraid. "I thought…"
His knuckles are bruised and I look away. I know what he thought.
"Yamato would never do that to me." It takes all my strength to not scream and scream. If this man knew anything, he'd know that Yamato would never do that. He would never, not to me, not to anyone. I know that. I don't scream. I play calm.
"I…what should I do?"
"Maybe you should talk to Yamato." I let go of his arm and sigh. It won't be pretty. It won't be good. I really want to throw up.
He just looks at me the freaky zoo lizard that brought his world crashing onto his head.
x . o . x
I originally was calling Matt's dad Ishida-san but then I realized that sounded silly when nothing else in the fic is Japanese (the Japan I'm writing might as well be Japan that city in America ) so I changed it to Mr. Ishida. If I failed to catch all the uses of –san, I apologise for the weirdness.
(The above AN used to be in front of the chapter then I realized I was trying to keep Davis' plan a secret. I'm glad I caught that.)
Man, thanks for reading all. Just a few chapters left.
Next chapter: A most uncomfortable conversation.
Love ya all but I'll totally love you more if you review. You know you want tooooooo.
Edit 24/03/08: Adding in new line breaks from this chapter backwards. Eventually I'll make this fic no longer look like much. Notice the lack of sanctioned scene breaks.