Yes, another "Diary of Darth Vader". This was not my original idea(though maybe, once upon a time in my subconscious, I thought of it without knowing I was thinking of it) but I am doing my own version, but I will not fail to credit the original people, as Jandalf the Orange made one that I believe was done by people on the message boards, so those people actually did it first, this is just my own version. By the way, this will not contain a lot of information about where he is when he is writing, as I didn't want to waste my precious time on those little details. Does follow the original story some, but not a lot. For instance, most of the time the Emperor is around Vader, not somewhere else, so yeah...

Disclaimer: (Have to make a formal one) Not my idea, the entries are, but not the idea. I also don't own Vader(But I want his cape! His cape rocks!) and, unfortunately, Star Wars is not mine either. If it was, I would DEFINITELY have hired somebody different to write the scripts for Episodes I, II, and III.

Diary of a Dark Lord

Dear Diary,

Today the Emperor suggested I take up an instrument to fill my free time, instead of force-choking those who cause me to become a bit miffed. I originally disagreed, but maybe there is an instrument that will not make me take my mask off. Without my scary breathing sounds, nobody will feel intimidated, and I live for the looks of fear and terror on those puny little faces!

Vader

Dear Diary,

Have given up trying to find an instrument that does not cause me to remove my wonderful mask and respirator. The Emperor suggested the piano, but when I tried to play one of the easy songs(Dare I say the title? Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, very fitting while watching all the stars, I thought) I found it extremely difficult to move my hands because of my gloves, and I can't let anyone see my ghostly white flesh! They might laugh.

Love,

Darth Vader.

Dear Diary,

Have begun to wonder what 'Darth' actually means. Besides sounding very cool and evil, what is the point of it? Almost question my Master about it, but seeing as he had just had the cafeteria's chicken casserole, decided against it. Not even he is sure what they put into that stuff, but I'm pretty sure I saw one of the cooks rummaging around in a garbage chute one day. Can't be to careful. I am sticking to an all-organic diet that Palpatine suggested to me. I have noticed I've begun to be a bit chunky, and my suit is rather hard to get into in the mornings.

Yours,

Lord Vader

Dear Diary,

I have decided to try out a new title. Instead of 'Darth' Vader, I am going by 'The' Vader. It is much more empowering, I think. After all, Palpatine gets to be 'The' Emperor.

Powerfully yours,

THE Vader

Dearest Diary,

Have changed back to 'Darth' after several storm troopers snickered when addressing me. Have threatened to force-choke them but I worry. Fear is power! Must have power! Also did a little saber practice today with a few of the prisoners. It was quite fun, but I somehow managed to keep from killing them. Resorted to just singing their hair and burning their fingers.

Evilly,

Darth Vader

Dear Diary,

Captured a Princess today. She looked strangely familiar, but I just can't put my gloved finger on it. Speaking of my gloves, I found a hole in one of them! Had to do a quick job of stitching it up myself, stabbed myself 8 times, so now my finger has these weirdly cool holes in it. Bad news: The stitches came out and I have to have a new one made, but since I am having one new one made, I decided to just get a new pair, so now I have to go around with both of my hands in my pockets or wrapped up in the folds of my cape. Most people are looking at me strangely, and I discovered something new: I can force-choke people without putting my hand out! So I force-choked two people as a warning to the rest of them, and they just stood there with their mouths hanging open, staring, because I had force-choked WITHOUT showing them my hand! Which is just a cool fact that I have to keep repeating to myself! Anyway, I get to interrogate the Princess, which is very exciting because I haven't done anything fun in quite a while.

Ani

Note to Self: Never call yourself Ani ever again. BEWARE THE MEMORIES!

Dear Diary,

Had a bad mishap today while getting my lunch. One of the lowly employees(I sometimes wonder if we pay them TOO much) had just mopped the floor but failed to set up the 'wet floor' sign, so I slipped on the way back to my room. To make matters work, he was using a bleach concoction so there is a huge roundish spot of white on the back of my cape!. Have already force-choked those who have begun to call me 'Darth Dot' but I think there are more of them. Must have a new cape made because my extra is in the wash, and it takes them 2 weeks to clean it properly, so until then, I am staying in my quarters, which means I can't interrogate the Princess until tomorrow, but I suppose I'll have to deal with it. Got my new gloves today! They are nice and warm.

Vader

Dear Diary,

Got to question the Princess today. Didn't get any answers, just screams and looks of pain, but that was to be enjoyed anyway.

Vader The Evil One

Dear Diary,

Killed Obi-Wan today and caught a glimpse of my son. He's sure a skimpy little thing. Better get some meat on his bones if he is to join me on the Dark Side. My new cape is working out just fine, and destroying my old master once and for all has gained me some much-needed respect after the bleach incident. Am trying to find a new name for my son. 'Luke' is much too weak. Of course, I must convince him to turn to evil. After all, he helped the Princess escape today, which really ticked me off. Will ask the Emperor for ideas on the name.

Darth Vader, formally Anakin

Dear Diary,

Palpatine had no good ideas, which surprised me. Am thinking of 'Lord--something' until he is evil and powerful enough to be dubbed a 'Darth' but have not really come up with anything.

Anakin

Dear Diary,

Had the strangest dream. I actually had HAIR, which is the only good part. The rest of it was all light and fluffy, and I was running in a field. Happy like it was back when I was a 'good' person. Force-choked several troopers to ensure myself of my evilness.

Vader. Darth Vader.

Note to Self: Must cut down on the James Bond movies.

Dear Diary,

Had mexican food today. Dipped a chip into the salsa, only to find out that it was spoiled! Took some gulps of milk, but the milk was rotten! Force-choked the entire cafeteria staff and got some new employees, but I am still worried about becoming sick. My stomach feels a bit queasy.

Sickly yours,

Vader

Dear Diary,

Found a sewage leak this morning. Turns out it had been dripping into my room all through the night! Even on my bed, so my clothes smell terrible and had to be thrown away. Good thing that my other set of clothes(including new cape and gloves!) had just come out of the wash, so I can wear them while yet another set of clothes is made. I have to have at least two, but the Emperor is angry because the material I have my suits made out of is expensive. (Cotton, spandex and polyester.) Its only expensive because he insists that they make it 'fresh' for me. I would settle for stuff that had already been made up, but Palpatine insists on watching the proceedings himself. He's so demanding! The worst news is that the machines have been malfunctioning so it might be awhile before I have a spare suit, since my other has completely sucked up the bad smell and the washers say it will never go away. Maybe it can be fashioned into a uniform for Tarkin, and improve his foul stench.(Yes, he smells worse than sewage!)

Anyway, my quarters are being cleaned so I have to room with Palpie for a week. Horrible. He snores, I'm absolutely sure of it! At least a spare bed can be placed at the other end of the room, and with my mask and extra blankets and pillows, its possible that his snoring will be blocked out. On the plus side, I am not going to be sick because of the rotten food!

Yours,

DV

Dear Diary,

Made a list of my hobbies today for no real reason. I was bored. So here it is:

1. Force-choking people.

2. Force-choking people with hand.

3. Force-choking people without hand.

Okay, so the whole list is force-choking people! Give me a break! What's a Dark Lord to do all day? Remember things? I don't dare. I always have to keep myself busy so that the memories can't come back.

I once was Anakin...now I am Vader.

Dear Diary,

Arrived at Cloud City today. It's so pretty here. But its so white. At least I contrast with my wonderful black suit. Found a brand new kind of nutri-shake that makes my breathing extra-heavy. Its probably because its very thick and syrup-like, and it coats my throat so that I cough a lot, and then when I breath its just heavier. I tried talking without my respirator yesterday, and my voice was extra deep, so I think I'll just keep drinking the new shake to instill even more fear in...well, everybody!

Vader

Dear Diary,

Froze Captain Solo in carbonite today. Loved the look of horror on Princess Leia's face. But the face is so familiar...Had a dream last night were her face and the face of...dare I say her name? Padme were side by side. Perhaps there is some connection? I have no idea, I'm so confused. I think that this new medication I'm taking is going to my head, so I burned it all up with my lightsaber and then put it in a nice little drink for some of my officers.

Vader

Dear Diary,

Accidentally cut off my son's hand today. Finally he can follow me in becoming mostly mechanical! We finally have a father/son bond! I'm so happy, I almost let myself cry. But crying is for weaklings, so I force-choked someone instead. I didn't know I could be evil and happy at the same time!

DV

Dear Diary,

The Emperor said I should start using force-lightning all the time. But I don't like it, because it ruins my gloves and hurts my eyes, even though my mask is sort of a shade. Took off my gloves and burned his favorite lamp to show him that I could use it, then walked away. But then I had to turn around and retrieve my gloves, so that ruined my oh-so-cool way of leaving. Darn it! Still, it worked to some effect, as he suggested later on that I stick with force-choking. I am glad I had a chance to burn his lamp, though. I hated that lamp, even more than I hate everything else.

Hatefully yours,

VADER

Dear Diary,

I had bad heartburn last night, and we were all out of Tums! So I got no sleep and now I am yawning quite a lot. But, through my respirator, it sounds very...loud. Which means I can't sneak up on anyone and scare them to death, and watch their eyes go wide and their faces get pale. Oh well, tonight I am going to bed early.

A very tired Vader

Dear Diary,

Found a mysterious package this morning. It had my name on it. Had an unsuspecting storm trooper open it for me, and it turns out it was a basket of assorted soaps! Burned it on the spot and force-choked all the officers that really don't like me. But that was every one of them, so now I must suffer through interviews because the Emperor says its my fault.

DV

Dear Diary,

The interviews are not going well. Today somebody came in wearing a suit exactly like mine! I took care of him, though. I mean, if something like that got out, it would completely ruin my publicity! Next thing you know, they would be making Darth Vader costumes and people would be buying them by the dozen, and then you would see a "Vader" everywhere you went, and no one would be afraid of me anymore! And I must have the intimidation factor!

Vader

A/N: Hopefully you enjoyed it, I might continue if I get good feedback!