Disclaimer: DC owns all characters mentioned (other than those made up by my very own imagination). No money, goods, or services recieved for this story, only the relief of an intolerable boredom.


"Once upon a time there was a beautiful young woman who loved to walk barefoot

in the ocean waves. Then a crab bit her toe off and she never came near the water again!"


"Fine, let's hear you try!"

"Ok. Once upon a time a fairy princess lost her lover to a hurricane."

"A hurricane?"

"Yes. The wind blew him away."

"That's lame!"

"Not as lame as getting your toes eaten off. Anyway, she mourned her lost love for many months. It was nearing the time of solstice when…"

"Since when do you have such a big vocabulary?"


"I mean, you usually have all these long pauses, and…oof! Ok! I give! Geeze, you didn't have to slug me."

"Did too. Now shut up."


"Now…it was nearing the time of solstice when…"

"Said that already."

When the princess's father decided it was time she moved on with her life. He called her to his chamber and lay down his verdict."

"Come on, admit it! Someone fed you this story. You're not making it u…ow!"

"He told his daughter that she must choose her husband by the time the sun reached it's apex on the day of solstice."

"You keep saying that…do you even know what it means?"

"…or else he would choose for her. She knew she only had three days…"


"…and she also knew that her father's choice would spell ruin for her. For his favorite noble at court was a…"

"Do the fairies even have nobles?"

"They have kings and princesses, but you argue with nobles?"

"Why not?"

"I'm going to have to hurt you, I can se it all so clearly now."

"Are not! Besides, you already did."

"Well, you're not letting me tell my story!"

"My story was two sentences long, yours is an epic!

"So? You didn't put a time limit on it!"


"So there. She only had three days… no…now you made me lose my place!"

"Sigh. Her father's choice would ruin her."

"Oh. Yeah. Because her father's favorite noble was, in fact, an evil dragon in disguise who'd placed a spell over the king so that he could take over the kingdom. Only the princess knew this, for her lover had been the one to discover the traitor."

"And yet he was killed by a lowly hurricane rather than the dragon's wrath. Now that would have been cool."

"Shut up. He had told her what he'd learned before he'd died. But when she had tried to tell her father, he had refused to believe her. Therefore the princess knew she had no choice but to find herself another man to share her life with…"

"I'm getting a soda, you want one?"

"I'm not done yet!"

Yeah, but it's getting mushy!"


"No, really. You want one…hey! Don't throw that at me!"

"Then don't act like such a…a…"

"A guy?"


"A manly man?"

"No! Stop that!"

"Sigh. Yeah, a real crime, that. Well, if you're sure…see ya later."

"You…you…argh!" The dark figure watched him spring off the roof with easy agility. "Stupid." She paced for a minute, caught between wanting to finish her story and feeling a keen sense of loss. Had an observer been able to see her face, he probably would have wet himself from the evil glint that came into her eyes. As it was, no one was around and her face was completely covered. She pulled out a length of strong cable with a strange-shaped metal object attached to the end. Whirling it about her head, she let it fly.

"Hey! What the…Batgirl! Hey, let me go! Wait! Don't dothat! Don…mphmphg!"

"Now…the princess knew she had no choice but to find another man to share her life with. A stronger man. And so began her quest. She…"

The End