I have one thing to say: Hay fever sucks. That is all. T.T

Ok, I'm not quite done yet. I sort of don't really know where I'm going in this, so any suggestions would be much appreciated! And for this fic, Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz are Seph's little brothers. Because that's funny. :p

Just 11 days until Advent Children! (tears of joy) I shall sporadically jump up and lick the TV whenever Kadaj appears. O.o

Chapter Twelve: Sephiroth's Family Issues

The next day Micki the Pixie was sitting on Vincent's lap, eating raspberry-flavored licorice and watching Pirates of the Caribbean with him and Sephiroth. Micki was quite content; however, something seemed to bother Sephiroth.

Vincent plopped Micki down on the floor and turned to stare at Sephiroth. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Sephiroth said hollowly.

"Sephiroth, something's wrong. Your wrists are sweating."

"No, they're not." Sephiroth sat on his wrists.

Vincent glared.

Sephiroth cowered. "OK! My—little brothers want to come over."

Vincent grinned. "That's great!"

Sephiroth's eyes bulged. "No, it's not! They're INSANE!"

Vincent scoffed. "Compared to you? They can't be THAT bad."

"Uh yes, they can. Here, I'll get a picture."

Vincent waited a few minutes, listening to Micki chomp licorice and Sephiroth trip up and then down the stairs.

"Okay, here's the picture. It was taken a few years ago."

"Uh—they all look like you."

"Scary isn't it? Anyways, this one's Yazoo." Sephiroth pointed to a figure in the picture.

"..I thought you said you only had brothers."

Sephiroth sighed. "Well, I guess Mother wanted a girl after I came. So she grew his hair long and always put him in dresses."

Vincent raised an eyebrow. "But he looks at least twenty in this picture."

"Permanent mental damage."


"Anyways, the one with the buzz cut is Loz. He's very emotionally unstable and cries a lot. Yazoo picked on him a lot when we were kids."


"And this—vertically challenged one is Kadaj. Don't say the S-word around him, or he WILL shoot you."

Vincent blinked. "What S-word?"

"You know, S-H.."

"Why would I say that?"

Sephiroth hit him with the picture. "S-H-O-R-T! That's what you can't say!"

Once Vincent had sounded out the letters in his head, it clicked. "Oh..So when are they coming over?"

"Well, I'd like to say never. But….Yazoo has a way of extracting information out of me."


A 15-year-old Sephiroth sat on his bed, nursing a sore mouth. Orthodontists are sadists. Evil, evil sadists.

Yazoo sauntered into the room. He had fishhooks. This was not going to be pretty.

--End Flashback--

Sephiroth shuddered. "He threatened to sit on me and pull the braces opposite directions with the fishhooks if I didn't tell him all about my current girlfriend. I haven't had a girlfriend since then."

"Soo, I take it he knows the address then?"

Sephiroth nodded miserably.

"Does Cloud know that they're coming?"


"We're doomed."



Zack walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Cloud was eating his cereal and reading 'Gone With the Wind'. Don't ask.

"Hey, have you seen Yuffie?" Zack asked.

"No, why?"

"Well, I ordered some hair regrowth treatment…"

"Zack, if you tell her that, she will kill you."


Vincent burst into the kitchen. Or he would of, if it had a door.

"Cloud, we've got a problem!"

Cloud continued reading. "Did Reno get his ponytail stuck in the toilet again?"

Vincent shook his head viciously. "No, worse! Sephiroth's insane siblings are coming over!"

"So? The house can't get any crazier."

Vincent grabbed the book and threw it out the window. "No, you don't get it! There's a homicidal transvestite, a manic depressant, and another homicidal short guy coming over!"

Someone knocked on the front door.

Vincent peeked out the kitchen window. "GACK! That's them!"

Sephiroth stuffed himself in the refrigerator.


Micki continued watching, occasionally snapping pictures of her licorice.


Zack was arguing with the lady on the phone who refused to allow him to cancel his order


Reno—got his hair stuck in the toilet again.

--To be continued!

BWAHA CLIFFHANGER! (shot) Review please, and give me some nutty ideas for the silver-haired trio!