Hey! Well, this is my first attempt at an FMA parody, and I'm not sure if it's good or not. I got the idea from someone else's parody so I branched off theirs and wrote this one. It's in the form of a game show. It's actually pretty self-explanatory. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of the characters.
Maes: Hello, and welcome to FMA Dating! My name is Maes Hughes and I'll be your host this evening, along with my friend, Alphonse Elric! crowd cheers and Al and Maes wave at the crowd
Al: Well, I guess we should let you meet the contestants. Today, in FMA Dating, one woman will get the opportunity to question three men and choose which one she would most like to go on a date with. So, let's bring out Contestant Number-
Maes: Oh, wait! There's something we have to do before we meet the contestants.
Maes: holds up a giant picture of Elicia This is my daughter, and she should be the star of the show! Isn't she beautiful? Look at her perfect little smile, she's more charming than-
Roy (from backstage): Maes, shut up about your bleeping daughter or I'll come out and burn you like- a snap is heard, then there is a big whoosh of flame from backstage. Stage crew people run backstage with fire extinguishers. Meanwhile, you can hear a loud beeping noise
Maes: bleeping Roy, doesn't know a thing about-
Random Audience Member: Get on with the bleeping show!
Maes: Oh. Yeah, of course. Let's bring out contestant Number One! cheesy music plays and the spotlight lands on Roy, who is still covered in fire extinguisher dust
Roy: bleep it, Maes!
Maes: Well, you insulted Elicia!
Roy: I did not! I just told you to shut up for once in your life!
Maes: Are you saying I talk too much? Some friend you are! I've never once whined about how often you bleeping talk about yourself.
Roy: Yes, you bleeping have!
Al: Oh, we forgot to mention that this show is censored. Anytime anyone swears, you'll just hear this noise: bleep!
Maes and Roy: stop fighting
Roy: Alphonse, did you just swear?
Maes: Wow, never thought I'd see the day.
Captain Obvious: Al doesn't swear very often.
Roy: looks at Maes, who nods, then snaps and burns Captain Obvious
Al: Here's Contestant Number Two, Jean Havoc! Havoc walks out to cheesy music, waving at the crowd
Some girl in crowd: He's hot!
Roy: Hey, no one said I was hot!
Havoc: Well, that's because you've got stuff all over you. Maybe they don't think fire extinguisher dust is hot. he flicks some out of Roy's hair
Roy: Oh, blow it out your bleep
Maes: And now, we'll introduce Contestant Number Three, Edward Elric! Ed walks out to cheesy music, waving
Random Lady: Hey, how old is that woman going to be? You guys aren't breaking the law, are you?
Ed: Who are you calling a bean-sized leprechaun so small you have to use a microscope to see it?
Winry: No one said that, Ed!
Al: Winry? What're you doing here?
Winry: shrugs I came to see the show. And to keep Ed in line.
Random Woman: Well, all children need a mother figure in their life.
Ed: I'm fifteen for your information!
Crowd: laughs hysterically
Roy and Havoc: laugh hysterically
Al: holds Ed back from beating on Roy and Havoc
Maes: Why don't you guys take your seats and we can meet our lucky lady, Miss Elizabeth Hawkeye! more cheesy music plays and Riza walks out, glaring at everyone
Maes: How are you today, Riza?
Riza: Oh, I'm great! I got some new bullets and I also polished my favorite gun.
Al: Well, that sounds fun.
Cameraman: is hurriedly strapping on a bullet-proof vest
Maes: Right, well I think it's time for a commercial break. We'll be right back after these messages!
I hope you liked it! I'll post another chapter soon, hopefully. Later! Brooke