Inuyasha and the Jerry Springer show
Disclaimer: I don't own any Inuyasha characters sniff and I don't know Jerry... I'm like obsessed with the show, mainly Miroku so I'll be focusing a lot on him MU HA HA cough cough cough oh excuse me cough cough, waves hand go read...
(Audience claps and cheers, Inuyasha is sitting in the first chair alone pissed off.)
Jerry: Good morning everyone tonight we are going to be meeting with a very interesting group, and strange group. (audience claps) The first member we are about to meet is a half demon named Inuyasha. (some girls from the audience jump up and flash him.)
Inuyasha: O.O' what the?
Jerry: He he ok ok… that's enough… Anyway his goal is to kill this looks at paper Na-ra-ku is it? (Inuyasha nods) But today we aren't going to be talking about life goals we are going to be talking about Inuyasha's and his friends lives... Inuyasha has a secret that he's never told anyone and has hid it quite well over the last couple of months.
Inuyasha: WHAT! I DID NOT AGREE TO THAT!
Jerry: yes you did…
Inuyasha: SHUT UP YOU BASTARD I'M NOT GOING TO BE HUMILIATED INFRONT OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE!
Jerry: um… actually it's millions but-
Inuyasha: -.-' what do you want Jerry?
Jerry: give us a hint Inuyasha about this secret of yours… (shows him a contract which is hidden from the audience.)
Inuyasha: (nose flares) fine… I'm not interested in Kagome ok?
Jerry: Well let's meet our first guest shall we… She considers herself an ordinary school girl and she is in love with this half demon that suddenly changed his mind for a suspicious reason.
Inuyasha: THERE'S NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT IT OK! (gets up and lifts a chair)
Jerry: Woah Inuyasha not yet none of your friends have entered the room.
Inuyasha: Your point?
Jerry: (backs away) uh ok BRING IN THE FIRST VICTIM! Uh… I mean person...FRIEND!
Inuyasha: (stretches his neck to see the person coming in) Huh?
Kagome: Inuyasha? What's going on?
Jerry: Go ahead Inuyasha tell her.
Inuyasha: (sets down the chair and sits on it) Uh Kagome… um…I- I- I don't have feelings for you anymore.
Kagome! WHAT! INUYASHA! (throws a chair at him)
Inuyasha: (to the audience) SHUT UP!
Kagome: SIT! (Inuyasha falls flat on floor very hard) SIT SIT SIT! (Inuyasha goes deeper in the wood.)
Jerry: O.O uh… ok that's new…
Inuyasha: STOOOOP! (gets up in pain) stupid girl…
Kagome: SIT! (Inuyasha falls again) How could you do this Inuyasha! It's Kikyo isn't it! ISN'T IT!
Inuyasha: (rubs his head) ow… NO IT'S NOT KIKYO KAGOME!
Kagome: (smacks him) THEN WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE!
Inuyasha: … (mumbles) someone else…
Jerry: yes Inuyasha wh- (Inuyasha gives him a death glare) uh… COMMERCIAL!
Camera man: IT'S TOO EARLY FOR A COMMERCIAL (camera man gets hit with a microphone)
Jerry: COMMERCIAL! NOW!
(commercial with dancing bananas for about 5 mins)
(audience claps as the camera comes close to the two people glaring at each other at opposite ends of the stage.)
Jerry: Welcome back if you're just tuning in Inuyasha, a half demon, has just told his girlfriend, Kagome, a school girl, that he no longer has feelings for her. Now we will see why he suddenly had a change of heart. Lets bring out another one out mystery guests! He's a little fox demon who is very observant considering his size.
(From backstage Shippo: what's that supposed to mean!)
Jerry: Please welcome Shippo!
(Shippo comes running on stage and sits beside Inuyasha)
Shippo: Hi Jerry!
Jerry: Hi Shippo how are you?
audience: GET ON WITH IT!
Jerry: O.O OKAY!... anyway Shippo you said you have been noticing changes in Inuyasha, would you explain when this started and what kind of changes?
(Inuyasha glares at Shippo but poor Shippo doesn't notice)
Shippo: Sure! …
(everyone sits on edge of their seats listening…5 minutes pass)
Jerry: O.o well?
Shippo: oh right now?
Shippo: ohhh… ok… Well I noticed Inuyasha acting strange last month. He was avoiding Sango and Miroku a lot and spending more time than usual by himself. But every time either one of us asks what's wrong he explodes, he nearly killed Mir- (gets pounded on the head with Inuyasha's fist)
Jerry: And have you any idea why he's been acting so peculiar? (Inuyasha lifts up the fox demon by the tail)
Shippo: N-not a clue!
Jerry: Well we will soon find out whe-
Kagome: IT'S SANGO! OMG INUYASHA HOW COULD YOU! (throws doughnut at him)
Inuyasha: (blocks flying doughnut) NO IT'S NOT SANGO KAGOME! LAY OFF! AND KEEP YOUR NUT DOUGHS TO YOURSELF!
Jerry: Well let's bring Sango out and ask her ourselves shall we? She's a demon slayer, who has been secretly admiring the monk, Miroku, (from back stage Sango: DON'T YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF SECRET!) could she really be having an affair with the half-demon well stay tuned to find out.
(Kagome is crying her head off, Inuyasha is threatening Shippo and Jerry is trying to yank the microphone away from an obsessed audience fan girl)
Mr. Condom: Remember kids! Always wear a condom when sticking your yoohoo's in strange places. And remember have fun! Sponsored by Miroku! Miroku pops up holding a condom and smiling and dancing banana's in the background
(camera's move and audience clap Jerry is looking at the TV where the commercial just ended)
Jerry: …O.o that… that was odd…Anyway! (Inuyasha, Shippo and Kagome all stare at the TV)
Shippo: Hope Sango didn't see that (hears a smack from back stage) >. '
Jerry: if your just tuning in… tough… Let's bring in our third mystery guest shall we!
(Sango comes on stage in her demon slayer outfit skin tight, lots of boys holler and whistle and flash her, she looks at them like O.O and sits next to Shippo.)
Jerry: Hello Sango is it?
Jerry: Well we know so far that you are secretly in love with a so called Miroku- wait.. wasn't he just-
Jerry: … oh… um… ok… yeah so (looks at the screen) wow… ok so are you?
Sango: (blushes) well… I guess I am Jerry, I've never met anyone like Miroku he's kind, smart handsome, but he has one flaw.
Jerry: (staring at the TV) uh what… sorry didn't catch that…
Sango: -.- ...yes Jerry I like him…
Inuyasha: (humph) even if he touches every girl he can get his hands on?
Sango: I agree he does have a flaw but- JERRY PAY ATTENTION!
Jerry: huh sorry… it's just that was so… weird…Ok you love Miroku he has a flaw which is?
Sango: he's a pervert…
Kagome: YOU ASKED THAT QUESTION TO GET SANGO TO NOT LIKE HIM IS THAT IT YOU WANT SANGO! (throws another doughnut)
Inuyasha: NO THAT'S NOT IT KAGOME!
Jerry: Well let's bring out final guest shall we the infamous monk Miroku!
(Inuyasha blushes, audience claps and cheers some girls jump up and flash him, and two flew to the stage only to be dragged off by security, Miroku walks out smiling and waving, he sits in between Kagome and Sango.)
Jerry: Welcome Miroku how are you?
Miroku: Very well Jerry, I must say you have a beautiful audience some girls faint in the audience
Jerry: uh… thank you… I think… Now since the entire gang is reunited it's time for the unveiling of Inuyasha's dark long kept secret. Inuyasha, you said you have no more feelings for Kagome correct?
Inuyasha: (bears fangs)
Jerry: uh… ok… and you did mention there was someone else… is this someone else on stage right now?
Kagome: I KNEW IT! (throws doughnut at Sango)
Sango: Hey! What did I do?
Kagome: YOU'VE BEEN SECRETLY HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH INUYASHA!
Miroku: What! Sango… How could you… I mean really…
Sango: MIROKU I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!
Inuyasha: It's not Sango Kagome!
Kagome: IF IT'S NOT SANGO AND NOT ME WHO THEN WHO? THERE AREN'T ANYMORE GIRLS HERE INUYASHA!
Inuyasha: (looks down)
Shippo: What? Wha? What's happening… why is everyone looking freaky? WHAT HAPPENED?
Inuyasha: Just shut up Shippo…
Kagome: IT'S SHIPPO? OMG INUYASHA HOW COULD YOU! HE'S JUST A CHILD!
(audience laughs and some fall out of their chairs, Miroku is like OO)
Sango: OMG MIROKU!
Miroku: wha? (gets hit with a chair) ow! WTF?
Inuyasha: HE DIDN'T KNOW DON'T HIT HIM!
Kagome: Know what?... (pauses for a few minutes) OMG! (hits Miroku with another chair) YOU THING!
Inuyasha: Kagome! HE DIDN'T KNOW!
(Kagome throws chair at Inuyasha)
Kagome: YOU'RE GAY?
Inuyasha: YEAH! GOT A PROBLEM?
Kagome: (being held back by security) YEAH! YOU LEFT ME FOR A GUY! AND MIROKU OF ALL PEOPLE!
Inuyasha: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MIROKU?
Kagome: HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!
Miroku: oh come now… there is plenty of me to go around…(get's hit by Sango and Kagome)
Sango: MIROKU HOW CAN YOU NOT MIND?
Miroku: I-I never said that…
Jerry: … ooo…ehem… well… lets settle this… We'll take a break…Stay tuned!
(leaves off everyone arguing Sango choking Miroku while security tries to get her off him, Kagome sitting Inuyasha while security is like "wha? O.o". Shippo is sitting on his chair almost asleep)
a blank screen is seen and then a monkey walks and sits in the middle of it… for about 7 minutes the monkey scratches his ass and eats a banana… then dancing banana's in the background and a smiling Miroku holding a condom.
Mr. Condom: Remember kids don't be a monkey, use a condom! Sponsored by Miroku
(camera turns to loads of clapping and cheering and then to the 5 people on the stage who finally calmed down. They sit and glare at one another except for Shippo who is asleep and Miroku who refuses to make eye contact with anyone.)
Jerry: Well we're ba-
Miroku: IT SOUNDED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME OKAY! THE MONKEY WAS CONVINCING! (all stare)… oh… sorry…
Jerry: Uh… well… Anyway we're ba-
Inuyasha: IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH! (all stare)… feh…
Jerry: …O.o…we are ba-
Sango: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU INUYASHA! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
Inuyasha: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING INTENTIONAL SANGO! (pause)
Jerry: … ok if everyone would just calm down and let me –
Kagome: THIS IS NOT RIGHT! HE'S A GUY! A GUY!
Jerry: ok… now really!
Shippo: I need a doughnut…
Miroku: WOULD EVERYONE STOP FIGHTING OVER ME!
Sango: SHUT UP THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU MIROKU!
Inuyasha: YES IT DOES! I LOVE HIM!
Jerry: SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK! (all stare) thank you… now no more interu-
Miroku: You do Inuyasha?
(audience go aw)
Jerry: SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! (points to the audience) YOU AW WHEN I TELL YOU! (all stare) right… now… (straightens his suit) welcome back we've been talking to the Inuyasha gang as you might have noticed and there is a bit of heat going through each of these confused people… except for the fox who has no clue what has been happening (grins)
Shippo: (stuffing a doughnut in his mouth) whaf?
Jerry: anyway… so tell us inuyasha how do you feel?
Inuyasha: (staring at Miroku, while Sango and Kagome give him death glares) … better… now that's it's out in the open…
Jerry: what about you Miroku? Do you feel the same as Inuyasha? Do you love him?
Miroku: (glances at Sango then at Kagome, then at Shippo… which was pointless, then at Inuyasha) I…I… I don't know…
Miroku: (to audience) SHUT UP!
(audience gasps again)
Miroku: (looks away)… It's…hard being me… Knowing I'm going to die by this wicked curse, I told myself I wouldn't hurt anyone by letting them fall in love with me… But that was inevitable of course…
Jerry: … yes… so… Inuyasha do you think that because you know Miroku is going to die soon that you have developed this love for a friend… (looks at Inuyasha's chair but is not there, looks at Miroku's chair and Inuyasha is crying on Miroku's lap and Miroku has his hands up careful not to touch him and looking like O.O)
Sango: oh I see… you pity him… aw we all do Inuyasha…
Kagome: oh it's not love it's pity ok I feel much better now
Miroku: WHAT! YOU PITY ME!
Inuyasha: (makes a loud sniff) No I love you (and begins to cry again)
Miroku: WAIT WHY DO YOU GIRLS PITY ME?
Kagome: because your gonna die soon…
Inuyasha: (jumps up and throws a half eaten doughnut at Kagome) DON'T SAY THAT!
Jerry: hey that was mine! Anyway… Sango are you willing to give Miroku to Inuyasha?
Miroku: WHAT AM I FURNITURE?
Sango: I LOVE MIROKU! NO I'M NOT! (pulls inuyasha off of Miroku and hugs Miroku)
Inuyasha: YOU BITCH!
Sango: (gasps) I-nu-yasha!
Miroku: no stop I cannot allow this to go any further (stands in between them, security guard backs him off)
Guard: excuse me this is my job…
Miroku: (looks at a very tall bald muscular man and gulps) oh… sorry…
Inuyasha: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME WHEN HE GRABS YOUR BEHIND!
Sango: THAT IS NOT A VERY NICE THING TO DO!
Inuyasha: THEN YOU HAVE THE GAUL TO SLAP HIM!
Miroku: well… I don't really mind… really it doesn't hurt THAT much…
Sango: oh really! Well how about this (slaps him very hard)
(audience go ooooo)
Inuyasha: (gasps) DON'T EVER TOUCH HIM AGAIN!
Sango: (loks at Miroku who looks hurt) I'm so sorry Miroku! I didn't mean-
Jerry: well that's all the time we've got for now-
Audience: WHAT! (throws chairs, food, drinks and mobiles at him)
Jerry: OW! OW ! owwwwwwww! FINE! (all stare) ok ok… sorry… my watch must be fast… hehe (all evil glares) um… well… Miroku what do you say about Sango hitting you like that… just now… in front of your friends…
Miroku: well… I-
Jerry: In front of these people…(points to the audience)
Miroku: uh… I-
Jerry: not to mention the cameras where millions of people watched you…
Jerry: get slapped…
Miroku: ... are you done?
Miroku: I'm sorry… I can't think right now… I can't decide… Not now…
Jerry: (leans in and shows contract and whispers) you have to… get movin…grins at everyone…
Miroku: (sighs) I'm sorry Sango…
Sango: (eyes fill with tears) W-what?
Miroku: I don't think you love me… I think you just like the games… You never planned to take this to more…
Sango: (falls on her knees and grabs the front of Miroku's robes) n-no Miroku…. I'm so sorry it was just instinct-
(audience go ooooooo)
Jerry: ah so you have done this a lot to poor Miroku?
Sango: (looks at Jerry) you know you're not really helping here…
(Inuyasha dashes and pulls Sango off of Miroku's robes and embraces Miroku)
Inuyasha: I love you and I will kill Naraku for you… (kisses him)
(audience go: awwww… ooooo… eh?)
Kagome: (gasps) HE'S LEFT ME FOR A FRIGGIN GUY! (tries to yank Inuyasha) off GET OFF OF HIM! INUUUYAAAAASHAAAAA!
Sango: (cries) HE'S LEFT ME FOR AN IDIOT!
Shippo: ew… um… I think the animator has his characters mixed up… (taps the screen)
Jerry: aw how… odd… oh well… See you next time when we meet Inuyasha's half brother…Lord Sesshoumaru! And their arch enemy Naraku. (grins... pauses… to the camera man) are we off air yet?
(camera shows Inuyasha hugging Miroku's waist and Miroku looking surprised and shocked. Sango is crying hanging on to Miroku's back robes nearly pulling them off. Kagome's choking one of the camera men because he got in her face. Shippo's stealing another doughnut from Jerry. Jerry chasing the fox.)
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A/N: Hum... Well hope you enjoyed it there is another one coming so if you liked it check back and please review