Disclaimer: I do not own CSI :(
AN: Just a short story...it's not as fluffy as I usually love to write my stories...I hope you like it :)
Summary: Grissom is going to leave Las Vegas...but then he realizes that there is a special person that he can't just leave behind.
time to say goodbye
I cut deep like a knife, stabbed her like a dagger...he would leave, tonight...and he hadn't told anyone before! He had made this decision 6 months ago, he had already recommended someone for the job as his replacement, had signed a new contract…had signed the contract for a new house, in a new city, a new state…he would leave and he would never return.
It had been the end of the shift when Grissom had asked all the members of his team to come into the break room, they had all taken seat, had waited for him to speak…and later they all wished that he wouldn't have told them what he had been telling.
Warrick, Nick and Greg have had these shocked expressions in their faces, Catherine had just stared down on her feet and Sara…she had left the room, she hadn't been able to stand the pain, but she didn't want to break down in front of all the others. She had hidden herself in the ladies bathroom, had cried for half an hour our longer…she couldn't really remember, she didn't really care…
She had leaned back against one of the walls next to the washing basins, had hugged her legs and had buried her face in her knees. She had hoped that this was just a nightmare, had hoped that she would wake up soon…but she didn't. It wasn't just a nightmare…the man she loved would leave the city she had moved to because of him, he would leave her here and he didn't care about what she or the others felt about it. He had known for six months now and had never told anybody about it.
Sitting crying on the floor, this was how he found her…she didn't move when he entered, she didn't move when he kneeled down in front of her. He reached for one of her hands, he didn't want her to cry, it broke his heart…
He softly took her small hand into his, squeezing it softly.
Now she looked up. All confused. Why was he here now? What did he still want from her?
The expression in her eyes was bitter and desperate, no trace left of the smiles he had always loved so much…he would give so much if he could just see her smile once again. This smile had always made him feel as if the world around them stopped for a second or two, as if there were just the two of them for a moment, as if the world was theirs…as if he had nothing to loose and it wouldn't be forbidden to take her into his arms.
He held her hand for a few minutes, but she didn't stop crying…she just kept on…without even trying to stop. She wanted him to see what he did to her, how much he hurt her…how much pain she felt because he left…because he left her.
Then he reached out for her face, softly caressing her cheek, his body coming closer to hers. He wiped the tears away from her cheeks, but the new ones just didn't want to stop running down. He sighed softly, then he sat down next to her…not really knowing what to do next he closed his eyes and just followed his intuition. He softly dragged her closer to him, his arm slipped around her waist and pressed her close against him.
Her face lay on his shoulder, she slowly slipped her arm around him…then she buried her face in his shirt, crying even harder. Why could he hold her now? Now when it was too late anyways? Now when all the chances that had been there for them would be forgotten soon…
Why could he be there for her now? Why could he do what she had wanted him to be able to do for so long now, now when everything was too late?
"I didn't know that you would care about it so much.", he said softly.
She looked up. Unable to understand how he could ever think that she would not care. Her mouth dropped open but she just didn't know what to say. What should she say? That she did indeed care? That she cared a lot, a damn lot that he would leave?
His thumb slipped over her cheek again, stopping when it had reached her trembling bottom lip. "I recommended you for the position as my replacement."
"What?" She pulled away from him. Did he really think that she could replace him? Did he really think that she would want to replace him? She just couldn't believe that he had been that blind all the time…
"I think you're the best for the job…Catherine already showed everyone that she can not do it…Warrick and Nick are good in their jobs, but I think neither of them is really able to do this job in the way that I would want it to be done."
"Wait…wait a second. Grissom do you really think that I want to do this? Do you really think that I could simply live on after today…or better said after next shift…I mean, how did you think it would be? Conrad Ecklie walking into the break room, telling me and the others that I am the new supervisor of the night shift…and then, do you expect me to smile happily and to work and to…just forget you?"
Grissom swallowed hard. "Sara…I thought that this was what you always wanted."
Sara shook her head, unbelieving, desperate and somehow disappointed. "Don't tell me that you really think this.", she almost pleaded.
His hand softly caressed her neck. "I don't know what to think.", he confessed.
Sara took a deep breath, desperately glancing around the room. "All I …ever wanted was…you, Gil Grissom.", she said softly.
Grissom swallowed hard. He had known it…and he should have told her so. But what should he change? He would leave, there was nothing that really kept him here…except for her. Sara had always been special to him…his feelings for her had always been special…he felt things for her that he had never felt for anybody else…there had only been one problem, until now, he had never been able to allow these feelings to himself. And now he would leave.
He didn't know what to say…he dragged her closer to him, his arm heavily lying around her waist.
She wondered what was going on in his head. Convincing him to stay would be impossible, she knew that…Grissom never made decisions without thinking about them for a long, long time, he was not the spontaneous kind of guy…and he wouldn't change his plans, not for her, not for anybody else.
But in this moment, only for this moment Gil Grissom had changed, he had taken her into his arms, he tried to comfort her…even if he didn't find the right words, the fact that he was here spent her more comfort, than everything he might have ever said could have.
He brushed her hair out of her face, looking deep into her eyes, his hand rested on her cheek, it felt cold, but that was good. Her head hurt from all the crying…and her eyes burned like fire. She wanted to go home, lie down in her bed and wake up and everything would have been like before…Grissom would stay and he would….well maybe he would always be like right now, she'd prefer that. But she knew that nothing would ever be the same again.
"Sara…I made a huge mistake.", he whispered.
She leaned her forehead against his. Almost shocked about that when she realized that she had just done this…and even more by the fact that he wasn't pulling away from her. He just held her, held her with his one arm and then slipped the other one around her waist too.
"But I can't change it…", he said softly. "…I am so sorry."
"San Francisco is not out of the world…right?"
He nodded. Was she trying to comfort him now? Did he need to be comforted? Was it so obvious to her that it hurt him that he had to leave her behind? How much did she know about his feelings? Did she know more than he thought she would?
"Will you greet the beach from me? The ocean? The Bay? The Golden Gate Bridge?", she asked softly.
"Pack your suitcases.", he stood up, still holding her so that she wasn't falling back on the ground.
"Uh…what?", she asked perplexed.
"It's time to say goodbye to Las Vegas…come with me Sara."
Her mouth dropped open. She couldn't believe it. And Grissom probably couldn't, either.
He hadn't asked her to come with him, it hadn't been a suggestion either…he pleaded her to come with him…and she wouldn't say no.
She nodded softly, her hand caressing his cheek. "Just promise me something."
"Everything you want."
"I am going to sleep on the left side of the bed."
He grinned, softly leaning forward, closing the gap between their lips, kissing her passionately. That was all Sara had needed as an answer.