Diclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. If I did, then Kagome will show more action and not so much annoying. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru would have to fight over her. Maybe I'll throw in Kouga so Kikyou will have three people fighting for her.
A/n: This is all in Kikyou's P.O.V. There will be no quotes. The one shot is longer.
Lost for Words
We have finally defeated Naraku and now my soul could be at peace. I have the jewel in my hands and I wonder if I should keep protecting it. Why should I? This has caused me so much pain. But I also know that some good things came out of it. During my journey, I have befriended Sesshomaru and Rin. Rin is so energetic and so... I guess you could say she reminds me of Kaede when she was young. I wish I could of watched her grow instead of being dead. Sesshomaru is a cold hearted beast who won't show his weak side to his enemies. But he shows his soft side to only Rin and me. I guess we are the only closest friends he has ever had.
After I stopped noticing the jewel for awhile, I saw Inuyasha crying for Kagome. I know I could feel myself crying because for the first time, I felt a tear running down my cheek. I wasn't crying because my reincarnation is dead. I wasn't crying because he was crying for her. I was crying because the Inuyasha has finally chosen his true love. His true love wasn't me. I always knew this would happen. After all, some good times must come to an end even if you don't want it to.
Before we had fought Naraku, Inuyasha himself came to me and told me that he had enough of hurting me. I thought that he chose me so ran to him and gave him an embrace. But what confused me was that, he did not return it. I looked at him and his eyes seem to be filled with guilt. I heard him say that he will be with Kagome and he will no longer see me. Not ever again. I took a few steps back. He said that he was sorry and that he didn't want to cause me anymore pain. I lied and told him that I'm not angry at him. He left. He left me. Hurt. Pain. Sorrow. Words cannot express the way I felt. After I couldn't sense him anymore, I fell onto my knees. No tears could not come out. This pain I felt began to hurt. I took a deep breathe and tried to calm myself. Sesshomaru came in and held onto me like his life depended on it. Strangely I calmed down. I breathed heavily and I felt that was going to cry but, they won't come out.
I held onto the jewel and walked towards Inuyasha and Kagome. He looked at me surprisingly. He was about to say something but I held my finger against my lips. I held the jewel in between my two cold hands. I closed my eyes and thought of a wish to make Inuyasha happy. I have not said anything. The jewel vanished and Kagome opened her eyes. Inuyasha embraced Kagome and told her not to worry. More tears slipped until it became a river. Inuyasha noticed the tears and looked at me with worry. I tried with all my might to form a smile but, I had no success. I turned away and walked. He called my name. I ignored. He called my name again and I still ignored. I could feel him coming after me so I turned around. He said that now that I have used the jewel to revive Kagome, what will become of me? I had not said anything. He called my name again. I turned away. I didn't want to face him.
It would be the best to move on, but I just didn't want to. I began to feel guilty on how I behaved. I cannot just leave Inuyasha there without saying goodbye, could I? I shouldn't leave this world. I have friends who are waiting for me. I turnned to face Rin and Sesshomaru. Rin looked at me with a sad expression and Sesssomaru looked at me with his golden orbs. Something about them made me feel guilty. Did I hurt him? He must have seen me cry. I didn't wish to hurt him. I have caused so much pain to everyone around me. I turned away and looked at the ground. Inuyasha and the others waited for my reply.
There is no reason to stay alive is there? My moments with Rin and Sesshomaru filled my mind and I started to smile. I took a deep breathe and turned around to Inuyasha. Inuyasha didn't know what to do. He just stood there and continued to stared at me. I tried to say anything. This silence made me feel uneasy. Kagome stared at me, along with her friends. I looked at Rin and I could see tears forming in her eyes. I felt even more uncomfortable. I wish not to make Rin feel this way. I had to stop myself from looking weak. I wiped away my tears and I faced Inuyasha once again. I walked toward him and wrapped my arms around him. I felt arms around me that were returning the embrace. I felt tears that came from him. I whispered, in his ear, a thank you. I pulled away and walked away. I held up Rin and gave Sesshomaru a smile. Sesshomaru lead the way to his castle. There was no need to rid of myself from this world when I have two most important people with me.
A/N: I was about to cry when I typed this down. Made chapter longer I hope you like it now.