As the Ruin Falls

All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:
I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.
I see the chasm. And everything you are was making
My heart into a bridge by which I might get back
From exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.

For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The pains
You give me are more precious than all other gains.

C S Lewis

Disclaimer for all chapters: I don't own Andromeda and it's characters. If I did, season 5 would never happened (or, to be precise, it would have been totally different). And season 4 would end differently. How? Well, this is one way in which I'd like the story to be told...

Rating:T; violence will appear later on, mature themes, etc.

Enjoy reading and if you liked something, leave a review.

This is my first fanfic, English is not my mother tongue so excuse any grammar or vocabulary mistakes. I'm trying to improve myself with every new sentence. Thank you for your patience.