As befits a first person account of events like these, the writing will be rather disjointed and haphazard. Just warning you now, Constant Reader.

Oh, and this was a lot of fun to write.

ED: Boredom of Chaos Cht: 1

When I awoke, I knew what I had to do.

I had to find out who, or what, had intruded into my life and killed my grandparents, discover why they did it, and avenge my grandparents' deaths. Simple, in theory.

But in practice, it appeared more difficult then climbing Everest. After all, whoever had the power to bring a video game to life would be a power to reckon with. They could be watching me right now, for all I knew.

"Well, go ahead and watch, dammit," I said aloud then. "But know that I'm going to find you, hunt you down, and… and… I don't know. But it'll be painful, I promise you that!" When I stopped to consider what I had just done, I was amused and slightly horrified; I was losing it.

No matter. First, I had to get out of here. A bloody sword and two dead bodies would not look right at all to anyone who walked up at the moment. It wouldn't matter that the bodies were unmarked; I would be the first suspect. And that would be detrimental to my sworn objective.

So I got dressed; jeans, a belt, a black shirt, my denim vest, and tennis shoes. Into my backpack went three bottles of chilled water, my MP3 player, all the jerky I could find, five clean handkerchiefs, and some apples. My pockets accepted the burden of my wallet, my sunglasses, a pocketknife, and my cell phone. I found my grandma's purse and my grandpa's billfold, and after some moments of internal debate, I took all the cash I could find in them, as well as some jewelry from the dresser, in case I ended up in a place where American dollars weren't recognized.

I took a thin strip of leather, threaded it through the scabbard of my sword, and slung it over my shoulders, tying it to the straps of my pack. I hung it upside down, letting the clasps hold the sword in place; when the time came, I could reach back, undo the clasps, and let the hilt fall into my hand.

I was ready, or so I thought. There was the matter of a gun, of course; if this little adventure of mine was going to be anything at all like that video game, then I sure as hell needed something besides my sword. Melee combat is fine and dandy, but swinging a sword around, especially a big one like mine, gets tiring; guns, on the other hand, last as long as the ammo holds out.

Anyway. I stood in the middle of the den, listening for the voice of sanity and reason to assert itself and begin persuading me out of this. After all, zombies only appear in video games and nightmares, right? You're dreaming, you've been playing that game far too much lately; when you wake up, you're going to toss it out, or at least put it well out of the way for a while, and play a few healthy, well-lit rounds of Smash.

Yeah, right. That doesn't explain the deadlights, now does it?

Silence. So much for the voice or reason, har-dee-har-har.

Inaction does nothing, I told myself. So what did I do?

I opened the front door and got sucked away; looking back, I realize that I should have associated that weird whooshing sound with something. Preferably something that would have alerted me to the fact that opening the front door was going to get me sucked away. It was obvious, was it not? That whooshing sound preceded the sucking up of all the people in that game, did it not?

It did, now shut up already.

There I was, standing at the end of this cathedral-like space. The floor was a wailing wall full of specters; statues lined the way, and I felt myself pulled onward. I turned to look at each statue in turn; I recognized every one of them, though in real life they were of much better quality and realism then in that game. Especially the statue of Ellia…

A creak interrupted my fantasies; there, cradled in what appeared to be a leathery hand, laid a mysterious book. It was bound in human skin and intricately decorated with shrunken bones. It beckoned and yearned to be possessed.

Should Nick claim the Tome of Eternal Darkness?

Well, no, not if he cared to preserve his mind the way it was.

But he was going to claim it anyway, no matter what was said.

And I did.

There went my mind. Say good-bye to your mind, Nick!

…what are you talking about? I wish you'd shut up already.

Anyway. There I was, holding the Tome of Eternal Darkness, a book that according to everything I had once held sacred shouldn't exist. But there it was, in my arms; there I was, in the door of a house that didn't belong to anyone really, not anymore. So I left; houses like that had always freaked me out. Especially when they got that way because the former owners were dead in their beds.

I locked the door, like a well-drilled grandson should. I took my pack off my back and set it down, thinking to put the Tome in it; the thing was heavy, after all. How on earth did those blokes from that game manage to carry around all that crap without a bag of some sort?

Ask no silly questions, I'll tell no silly lies.

Shut up already! Jesus H. Christ, no one asked you!

But then a weird thing happened. I put the Tome in the bag, picked it up… and the thing weighed nothing. Nothing at all. "Cool!" I said. "I'll put everything in there!" I said.

So I went back into the house (me having a key and all), got more chilled bottles of water, more clothing, and my copy of that game. Then I put everything but my sword into it; the sword I left where it had originally been.

I stood up and turned to go up the driveway, which was when that whooshing noise began again. I froze in mid step, looking about me… and a portal appeared before me, a yellow-magick portal.

I knew, from that game, that yellow meant neutral magick. It also meant electricity. So, I step into it and get taken somewhere that may or may not be safe, or I get zapped. Surely now, you'd rather not get zapped? Or taken anywhere? Seriously, it's all a dream, you'll wake up in a second or two and, and…



Ha! I knew it! Now would you shut your trap already! Reason and logic went away when I started talking to myself like this! You go away too! Now!

Sorry about that, where was I? Oh yeah, the portal. Yellow-magick, neutral and all that. Possibility of death by lightning. Yeah, I remember now.

Now, care to guess what I did?