Shaman King TV

By: kawaii-abiekairi

Disclaimer: We do not own SHAMAN KING or any of its characters…

Abie's Notes: Thanks for the reviews! This is dedicated to my cousin, who likes Shaman King a lot and he looks a lot like Yoh (I mean, REALLY, looks like Yoh) except he doesn't have the headphones. Lou's his name, by the way, and Kairi has a HUGE crush on him! Teehee:3

FITA Crackers:-)

Abie: OH NO! Kairi! –grabs Kairi by the collar- We don'thave anymore ideas for Shaman King TV!

Shaman King Casts: YAY!

Kairi: -bored face- I'm hungry. I wanna eat some Fita.

Abie: -shakes Kairi- KAI! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO THINK OF FOOD! We're having a major problem here!

Kairi: But I'm hungry. And I can't stop thinking about munching those crunchy Fita's…

Abie: Fita! I thought you like…Skyflakes!

Kairi: Uh…I dunno…but I'm craving for Fita today…

Abie: UGH! –lets go of Kai- Fine! I'll go buy you a Fita-----uh…I just had an idea!

Shaman King Casts: OH NO!...

Kairi: We're gonna have Fita for breakfast, lunch and dinner and for the rest of our miserable lives! –smiles goofily-

Abie: NO! and since when we're our lives miserable!

Kairi: uh…o.O

Abie: ANYWAY! My idea is we're going to make a Fita commercial!

Shaman King Casts: Awww…..Darn.

Abie: ...and Horo's gonna be our star!

Horo Fangirls: WAAH! HORO-SAMA! DAISUKIIIIIIIIII!

Horo: -eats a burrito- .

Kairi: HEY! WHO LET THOSE STUPID FANGIRLS IN! SECURITY!

Pai Long enters, wearing a security guard uniform (duh!)…

Jun (backstage): Hey! Since when did MY Pai Long become a security guard!

Kairi: -grins at her mysteriously- YOU'RE Pai Long?...

Pai Long: -blushes-

Jun: -blushes and sweatdrops- Uh…ahh…I mean, MY KYONSHII!

Kairi: Oh. Well, since NOW!...now get those stupid fangirls out of here!

Pai Long: okie dokie!...c'mon fangirls…out of here. –throws fangirls into the studio dumpster one by one, each of them let out a scream that sounded like…

Horo Fangirl 1: Ho----

Horo Fangirl 2: Ro—

Horo Fangirl 3: Sa—

Horo Fangirl 4: Ma!-----

Pai Long: -shuts the dumpster lid with a bang- That takes care of 'em!...well, I'm off! –exits-

Kairi: Excellent, Pai Long! I'll do the screaming around here...OMGOSH! HORO-sama! I LOVE YOU! –hops around Abie-

Abie: TT oohhhkayyy…ANYWAY! Let's do the commercial! Come here, Horo! Help me organize the characters!

Horo: -finishes 50th burrito with a gulp- o.O huh?...i have a feeling that this is not gonna be good.

LATER…

Abie: -megaphone-and now we're ready! Places, everyone!

Kairi: -all smiles, swooning over Horo- he's so cute……look at that spiky blue hair of his…aww….oh how I long to touch it…and stroke it and---

Abie: -shouts at Kairi's ear-KAI! START THE STUPID NARRATION ALREADY!

Kairi: ACK! –falls over- uh, sorry!...okay, here goes! –clears throat- Shinra Private School, recess time…We see our beloved Horo –rips off shirt, revealing another shirt with MARRY ME, HORO printed on it-

Abie: o.O What the! This is a Rated K fiction not a Rated M!

Kairi: What? I have another shirt on! As if I'll strip in front of everyone! Pssh!

Somebody from the audience, a guy named Bentot: WOW! I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT ONE!

Kairi: grr! PERVERT! –throws Bricks at him- PAI LONG!

Pai Long: -enters the scene with kiss marks on his neck and cheeks- WHAT? I'm busy kissing Jun—Uhhh…I mean, I was busy shaving!

Kairi: -raises eyebrow- ya right!...THROW THIS STUPID PERVERT OUT! –points at Bentot-

Pai Long: alright, alright. Fine! But this is the last one, okay? No more interruptions with my…uh…SHAVING!

Kairi: WHATEVER! Just keep that pervert out of my sight this instant!...

Pai Long: okayyy…-pulls out walkie talkie and whispers to it- wait for me my love, I'll be there in a sec. okay? Roger. Over and out. –walks to Bentot, punches him squarely on the face, carries him like a suitcase and threw him in the dumpster with Horo's fangirls- in you go, Mr. Pervert. –rushes back to the backstage quickly-

Bentot: -looks at the girls- oohhhh…heaven…

Horo Fangirls: yahhhh! –runs around the dumpster with Bentot on their heels-

BACK TO STUDIO…

Kairi: -sees a Fita on the table- Oh! Fita! –reaches for it-

Abie: Kai! –slaps Kairi's hand with a paper fan- That's for the commercial!

Kairi: Ow! –rubs hand and pouts- sorry…

Abie: Continue with the narration or else!

Kairi: Okay, okay! I didn't know you were so…hot-headed…hmp…you stole my personality…-harrumphs more-

Abie: -glares-

Kairi: -sweat drops and reads the narration- We see Horo-sama, sitting on a bench along the hallways of the school…He pulls out a pack of Fita from his pocket. –drools but immediately wipes it off-

Horo: -looks at Fita- uh…I've never eaten this before. Is it---is it safe? Is it even edible?

SK CAST: DUH! It is a CRACKER!

Horo: oohhhh….okay! –rips open the Fita pack- here goes! –opens mouth-

Abie: Suddenly, a girl passed by and saw Horo's Fita.

Pilika: Hi Horo! –beams- Can I have your Fita?

Horo: -stares at Pilika blankly and quickly gobbled up the cracker-

Kairi: Of course that gesture meant No!

Pilika: Uh! That's just rude! HMP! –turns back swiftly and walks away-

Horo: -munches on- mmm…jeesh sheisht ghood!...-bits of Fita flying from his mouth-

Abie: Horo grabbed two pieces of Fita and he stared at it again. Coincidentally, the Asakura Twins arrived and they stopped by to try their luck on having the crackers.

Hao: -in Frat Boy accent- Yoh dude! Wazzup?

Yoh: -in Frat Boy accent as well- What, dude? You called me?

Hao: Nuhhh I didn't!...-punches Yoh playfully- but that was cool, man! Nuhahaha!

Yoh: -pauses (probably absorbing what Hao said)- ……...Nuhahaha!...-pauses again- I don't get it.

Hao: Duhahaha! Me too!...-sees Horo- Whoa, Fita!

Yoh: Where, dude! Where!

Hao: over there! –turns Yoh's head to Horo's direction-

Horo: -stares back at twins then looks at the ceiling, pretending he doesn't see them-

Yoh and Hao: -approaches Horo- Hey dude!

Horo: -quickly eats the two crackers at the same time before the twins reach him- munch….munch…

Yoh: -stops dead on his tracks- Dude! did ya see that! He ate the Fita!

Hao: -stops as well-Ya! Did ya see how he munched on TWO crackers at the same time! That was so cool!...

Yoh: Sweet!...he ate it all!...

Hao: yeah! No more Fita left for us dude!...but…Where did it go?

Horo: o.O –points at his stomach-

Yoh: Oh………………Now what? –looks at Hao-

Hao: ……I dunno. Let's hit the beach!

Yoh: WHOA! THAT'S COOL DUDE! HIGH FIVE! –raises hand-

Hao: YEAH! SWEET! LOW FIVE! –extends hand and smacks it with Yoh's-

Yoh and Hao: -walks away, side by side, arm around each others neck-

Horo: Huh?...Did that scene actually happen? O.O

Kairi: Imagine it didn't. Anyway, when Horo was about to eat FIVE pieces of Fita, a group of cheerleaders entered, all wearing pigtails and (DUH!) cute, fluffy, cheerleading outfits.

Cheerleaders: HI HORO! –waves their pompoms as they formed a pose-

Horo: o.O

Anna (left hand on waist, right arm stretched out): -grunts- This is even worse than the Kitkat commercial.

Tamao (both hands together, pompoms partially covering her face): -blushes- Uhm…………-whines of embarrassment-

Iron Maiden Jeanne (hands entwined in front of chest): -eyes closed- Let's all pray that this will soon be over…-meditates-

Manta (in the middle, waving his pompoms exaggeratingly): YEAH! Give me an F! Give me an I! Give me a T! Give me an A! What does that spell! FITA! –jumps like a trying-hard cheerleader-

Horo: o.O ACK! MANTA! What are you doing there!

Manta: ……uh…-points at Kairi and Abie- THEY made me do it!

Abie: What? You're cute!

Kairi: Yeah! I mean, who else could we get?Jun is busy…uh…helping Pai Long with his "SHAVING"!

Horo: Whatever! Can I eat this now? –stares at Fita hungrily-

Manta: NO! We're still missing one cheerleader! We're supposed to be 5! I wonder where Ryu----

The Asakura Twins entered, dragging Ryu (wearing cheerleading outfit) by his feet with them.

Yoh: Hey, look who we found!

Hao: Good old Ryu, hiding behind the dumpster outside the studio!

Ryu: -scraping on the ground with his fingers as he was being dragged along- NOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO BE A DAMN CHEERLEADER!

Abie: We're paying you for this, you know!

Ryu: GAH! I'd rather hang out with that perverted WHAT'S-HIS-NAME back in the dumpster than losing my dignity!...LET ME GO!

Kairi: We'll tell Master Mikihisa on you!

Yoh: Yeah, I'll tell Dad on you!

Ryu: Alright, fine! I'll do it! Just don't tell Master about this!

Asakura Twins: YAY! –lets go of Ryu and walks into the backstage-

Yoh: -whispers at Hao- I wonder what Jun and Pai Long are up to.

Hao: -grins- yeah, let's check them out. Hehehehe…

Ryu: -went to his position and mutters something a normal person wouldn't understand-………………

Manta: Glad you could join us, Ryu!

Ryu: Eh shaddap!...-waves pompoms lifelessly- Go team………stupid.

Horo: -eats Fita one by one- One, Anna. –munches on the 1st cracker- Choo, Chamaw. –does the same on 2nd cracker- Shree, Jeanne. –eats the 3rd but stops on the 4th and 5th – Manta? Ryu?...-shrugs and stuffs crackers on his face brutally- …………BURP! O.O

Cheerleaders (girls only): EEW! –walks out-

Manta and Ryu: -follows the girls- --

Abie: Finally, the last piece of Fita…Horo was disappointed because it was the last one.

Kairi: But! He had an idea! Oh Horo-sama, you're so smart!

Horo: -puts back last piece into the pack and he crushed the cracker into tiny pieces- Heh. -pours grinded Fita on his palm-

Abie: And….Oh boy, I love this part!...SEND OUT THE RATS!

What looked like 100 rats dressed up like girls swarmed into the scene.

Horo: o.O WHAT THE?

Rat 1: -squeek squeek- (Translation: HI HORO!)

Rat 2: -squee!-(WE LOVE YOU HORO!)

Rat 3: -squeep! Squeep!- (GIVE US THE FITA!)

Horo: AAAHHH! WHY RATS! –accidentally drops the crushed pieces and runs away-

Kairi and Abie: -giggles-

Kairi: And that was another funny commercial spoof brought to you by SHAMAN KING TV!

Abie: oh no, not again…-sighs- Where it overs your soul…can't we change that corny slogan?

Kairi: Nope! I like it! –gets trampled by Horo and the hundred rats-

Abie: Ah! Kairi! You okay?

Kairi: -swirly eyed on the ground- oh look! –points upward- tiny, dancing Horo's! Aren't they cute? –giggles and faints-

Abie: uh-huh………………think I'll go backstage and check out something interesting. See ya!

BACKSTAGE (Extra story)…

Abie found Jun and Pai Long in a disheveled state. Both of them came back to reality.

Abie: What have you guys been doing?

Jun: -arranges hair- N-nothing! Just…hanging out!

Pai Long: -blushes and hides kiss marks- uh…Shaving?

Abie: Hmmm…..? We're you two having an affair?

Jun: WHAT! Do we LOOK like we're having one?

Abie: Hm……by your disheveled looks, I say yes!

Jun: -laughs nervously- Don't be silly, Abie!

Pai Long: yeah! Look, I'm clean now! Jun-sama's really good at shaving!

Abie: Uh-huh. If you call that shaving.

Jun: No, seriously! We were just talking about something very important!

Abie: Like?

Jun: Like…uh…None of your business!

Yoh and Hao: -popped out behind props table-

Yoh: Did you get it, Hao?

Hao: -holds videocam- oh yeah, every bit of it.

Jun and Pai Long: o.O

Abie: -grins evilly-

Yoh: GREAT! Wait till Ren sees this one!

Hao: We'll call this "A KYONSHII AND A DAOSHII'S LOVE AFFAIR"! this will be a hit, I tell you!

Yoh: Let's make copies of it and sell it in the internet!

Hao: YEAH!

Yoh and Hao: -runs to Ren's dressing room-

Jun: NOOOOOOOOOOO! –chases after twins-

Pai Long: -sweat drops-

Abie: -stands beside Pai Long- So………How did it feel?

Pai Long: -hesitates but gives in- OH WOW! IT WAS AMAZING! SHE WAS A GREAT-----

Abie: ...Shaver?

Pai Long: uh...yeah, sort of.

Abie: aww, that's so sweet!...I'm gonna tell Kairi! Teehee! –runs to the studio-

Pai Long: HUH! Oh no, what have I done!...MISS JUN! –runs after Jun-

Chocolove passed by, mopping the whole place, whistling an annoying tune.

Chocolove: Ugh, it's so dirty here. Looks like someone's been making out in here!

Voice from Somewhere: And now, what will happen to Jun's career now that the staff of SKTV knows about her affair with the security guard, Pai Long?

Chocolove: HUH! –looks around, aghast-

Voice from Somewhere: Will her brother Ren be horrified about this?

Chocolove: -backs away, still looking around- WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?

Voice from Somewhere: Will the Asakura Twins succeed in making their new-found documentary a hit!

Chocolove: -freaks out and runs out of backstage- THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED!

Voice from Somewhere: And will the Rats ever stop chasing Horo? Find out in the next installment of Shaman King TV!...Where it overs your soul! –gets hit by flying brick- ugh…pretty stars…-faints-

TO BE CONTINUED…

Abie's Notes: Uh...sorry if the story is out of topic. We were just in the mood for randomness now. Kairi influenced me. Anyway, thank you faithful reviewers! You know who you are!...please Review!

Kairi's Notes: Oh yeah, please help us think of other commercials that you think would be funny to be spoofed by us. Lol! Okay? We're open to comments and suggestions…just don't Flame us, ok? It kinda hurts.