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Disclaimer : Every HP thing you recognize belongs to JK Rowling. The main song

belongs to RAGTIME the musical. The

song "Slipping Through My Fingers" Belongs to ABBA


Please read the Authors Note. You need to read for the story to make sense !!!


Authors Note : This is the sequel to Memories Can Kill.

The 1ST CHAPTER : MEMORIES CAN KILL is about Sirius in Azkaban. He reminisces

about the life that was, James, and Daniella, his Ex Fianc‚e.

The 2nd CHAPTER : ON MY OWN is about Daniella, living alone in Boston, from her

point of view of what happened so long ago, and her love for Sirius is it still there

? At the end, she discovers that Sirius has broken out of Azkaban.

The 3RD CHAPTER : REUNION is about Daniella coming back to the life she had run

away from 13 years ago She meets Sirius again, and refuses to believe that he is

innocent. Finally, she does, but only after they talk.

The 4TH CHAPTER : LOOKING BACK is about what complled her to leave. It is just




There was a time

Our happiness seemed never ending

Dani sat in her office, reading a newspaper. She couldn't really understand what had

happened in the past few days, it was all a blur to her now. After 13 long years, she was

home. She was with Remus, her best friend And For some unknown cause, Sirius

had come back into her life. Sirius the prankster. Sirius the Murderer. Sirius who was

innocent. Sirius Her Ex Fiancee. Sirius who had once meant everything in the world

to her. She had tried so hard to forget him, but that hadn't worked. Then she tried to

come to terms with him, and what he did, but that hadn't worked either. She once got

pushed into seeing a shrink by her boss, but she couldn't explain everything. Come on, the

Shrink knows nothing about what once was in her life, her being a witch, about Hogwarts,

about Voldemort, about Azkaban So after one visit, she never came back. Finally, she

just gave in. No matter how much she protested, no matter how much she told herself

she wasn't, no matter how much she wanted to BELIEVE she wasn't, she was. She was

completely, and totally in love with him.

I was so sure

That where we were heading

Was right

That was the hardest thing for her. Because, he had murdered her best friends. Torn her

apart. Ruined her life. But, she guessed, he had been too much a part of her life, to just


Sirius walked in. She smiled slightly up at him.

"Uh Dan Can we talk for a second?"

Dan put down her newspaper, puzzled.

"Sirius I believe you You don't have to tell me again truly."

"No, it it isn't about that."

"Oh Alright then "

Sirius sat down across from her. His eyes looked sunken and dead. He looked really

nervous, almost sick.

"Uh Dan 13 years ago I was planning on marrying you. But then, unfortunately ,

( he said with a self mocking smile ) I got put in Azkaban."

Dani had no idea where he was going with this.

"And well I mean, I'm sure you don't want to but maybe, I just, well, thought I

would ask, and, I was just thinking and uh Oh, hell. Do you maybe when my name

is cleared uh maybe Wanttomarryme?"

Dan gaped. This was not the Sirius she knew. The Sirius she knew was confident, was

happy, was sure of himself, and everything he did.

"Uh "

Sirius nodded.

"I thought so. I just Thought I'd ask .. You know."

"I didn't answer."

Sirius looked up from his lap.

"Sirius I don't know. I just don't know. I mean You have to understand it from my

point of view. For the last thirteen years, I have been living alone, friendless, my life had

no point. And oh, Sirius, how I missed you. But I was alone. All alone."

"That was NOT my fault." Sirius said, his eyes blazing.

"I never said it was. But, whoever's fault it was, it doesn't matter anymore. I was alone. I

was scared. I needed you. And you weren't there. Those are the facts. And, well Every

night, I dreamed that you would come back And that we would get married, and you

would be innocent, and and I had so many fantasies about you."

Sirius grinned, the fire gone from his eyes.

"Care to elaborate?" He said, with a ghost of the Sirius I once knew.

"No I'm not done. Well now that you are here, and you are innocent It's a bit

overwhelming. That's why I couldn't believe it."

Life was a road

So certain and straight

And unbending

"And well It's sort of hard to deal with. And too much has happened. I have had to

deal with too much. Sirius Do you have any idea what I have gone through?"

"Oh and I suppose I just sat on a beach did I?' Sirius said, quietly.

"I never said that. But me alone, friendless See, with you, you didn't have a choice.

You were locked up. For me, I did have a choice to communicate But I also didn't

have a choice. It would bring back a life I didn't want to remember. And now you are

here, sitting right in front of me and I just can't seem to deal with the concept

of being able to just, pick up where we " She began to cry softly. "Where we left off

It's Oh God, Sirius It isn't that easy."

"I never said it would be But it might be worth a try."

"Oh Sirius You aren't the person I used to know anymore. You aren't the Sirius I knew.

Not at all."

"What are you saying?" He said, dangerously.

" All I am saying, is that Maybe Maybe it wouldn't work. You were so fun loving, and

not serious, and oh, you and I complemented each other perfectly. But now

Azkaban " She trailed off.

"Look at my eyes. You see that? There is nothing. Nothing. All that is left is blank

ness. If people only saw my eyes, they would think I was dead. You know it, and I know it.

Everyday, in that blasted cell in the middle of no where, you know what I thought of ? I

thought of you. And James. Do you know how hard it is for me? Do you CAN you

even begin to understand ? I'm alone. Alone. I'm destined for a life, where I am completely

alone. I can't go out. I can't marry. I can't do anything. Do you understand that ? I need

my name cleared. And even then When it is cleared. What do you think is going to

happen ? how many people do you think are going to believe ? They have thought, for 15

years almost, that I was a murderer. A traitor. The person who sold the Potters to

Voldemort. And if you marry me I guess it would appear that I can't be all that


Our little road

With never a crossroad in sight

"Is that all you want ?" She hissed . "The protection of my name ???"

"No. Dani, I love you so much. I don't know what it is going to take to make you see that. I

don't know what. But If you won't have me, there is nothing I can do. Nothing."

"Sirius I love you too. Don't you see that ? But You can't just expect me to cry

wildly, and fall into you're arms and tell you that Everything will be all right and

we'll just pick up where we left off "

But she was crying now.

Sirius grabbed her in a hug, and just held her there. Happy for the moment, with what he


~ Three Months Later ~

Sirius sat at the table in his room in Hogwarts. Dumbledore had given himself and Dan

an apartment hidden in Hogwarts. It was unplottable, as you could enchant some things

to be. Dumbledore was working on his case secretly, searching through Pettigrew's old

things in order to find something. Something . Anything. So far, no luck. He held a cup

of coffee in his hands. He looked at his wife, Daniella. He thought of a song he heard on

Dumbledore's muggle radio.

Sleep in our eyes

Her and me

At the breakfast table

Watching the clock

As the precious time goes by

I watch her go

With a surge of that well known sorrow

And I have to sit for a while

Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute

The feelings in it

Slipping through my fingers all the time

He sighed. Dani looked puzzled, and she looked up.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just realized something."


"That I really take everything for granted. I took James for granted. I thought he would

always be there. But he wasn't. I thought you would always be there. I thought the 6 of

us would always be together. You, me, Lily, James, Peter, Remus. And look what's become

of us what's become of us "

Back in the days

When we spoke in civilized voices

Woman in white

Dani didn't know what to do with herself. Or with Sirius. The Sirius she had known and

loved was different. He had been fun loving confident out going but Azkaban

had changed him. And not for the better. Now She still loved him. She had to. She

wouldn't have gotten married to him if she didn't. But She patted her belly. Slightly

swollen. She was expecting a child in 7 months time. Sirius constantly seemed

preoccupied but now, it was even more so. It was January. A year after Harry's

'incident' with the Goblet of fire. Voldemort was on the rise. He was getting a foot hold,

and everyone knew it. There was magical anarchy, as one half of the Ministry was working

tirelessly against Voldemort, while the other half sat back on their haunches and

refused to believe that Voldemort had risen again. Still.

And sturdy young men at the oar

Back in the days

When I let you make all my choices

We can never go back to before

Everyday, the world heard news of new people who had died. New people who were missing.

New people who were tortured, who were caught. And the Dark Mark was constantly up in

the sky. But still, many people sided with Fudge. The works of the Death Eaters. The work

of random lunatics who believed that they were working for Voldemort. But it wasn't

Voldemort. Dumbledore was furious. No he was irate. That day, he made a speech in

the hall over breakfast.

"Last night, we lost another of our students. Colin Creevey."

A murmur spread across the hall. People's faces turned white. Daniella could see, from

her position at the Staff Table, Harry put his head in his hands. Many people were crying.

Even Snape looked remorseful.

"I do not know how you can ignore the fact that Lord Voldemort has indeed risen again.

That is the second student taken from our midst. We have lost many others, some

muggles, some wizards, who were part of our community. No doubt, it is part of some

masterwork plan. The Ministry, well, what is left of it, is appalled that I have been giving

you weekly updates. They refuse to believe that he was risen again. Therefore, everyday,

he is gaining power. Everyday "

Daniella looked at the dog at her feet. It bit her on the foot, nodding towards their

rooms. Daniella whispered a good bye.

"I have to get to class. I will see you after.'

She was teaching Defense Against The Dark Arts. After all, Mad Eye Moody was

currently not leaving his house, after a ten month imprisonment in his own trunk.

Daniella had known from even last year, during Harry's fourth year, that something like

this would happen. Harry's scar hurt then Death Eaters were marching And then

the Dark Mark was up in the sky. She didn't find out about the scar hurting until later

though. She was scared, beyond belief. Voldemort had risen in their 6th year, at the end.

And it was looking as it had all those years ago. Her happiest time was from the first

year at Hogwarts, until then. Everyone was so carefree, and fun, and unworried. But then

Everything changed. But not Sirius. He was still the fun loving guy that he always

was. Dani found herself in love with him, even more than ever. But now She could never

go back to before.

There was a time

My feet were so solidly planted

You'd sail away

While I had my back to the sea

She had loved Sirius so much, it was like a dull constant ache. Everytime he would turn

around, at date someone else, not seeing what was in front of him, she would sit. And

wait for him. But she couldn't bear to look. Finally he 'noticed' her. Finally. And she

had been so absorbed by him, that, in fourth year, when he asked her out, she almost

said no. She learned that he was one of the most fun loving, happy people she had ever

met. She could never understand why the Slytherins hated him so much. He had more

charm than should be allotted to one man. Her and Lily, James and Sirius. Both Sirius

and James proposed to them, and they were planning on being married on the same day.

But then, Sirius and Dani decided to hold off for a bit, and Lily and James got married.

Then they had a kid. Dani and Sirius still decided to wait. A year later, they were

planning. The same year, Lily and James died, and Sirius got sent to Azkaban, and

nothing would every be the same. Ever.


When she got to class, people were bombarding her with questions.

"Do you know if Colin's brother died ?"

"What's going on ???"

"Will Dumbledore protect us?"

"We are all going to die !"

" Will you SHUT UP!"

Daniella raised her hands. Everything quieted down.

"Now listen to me. I have not been told anything about Colin Creevey's unfortunate

death. I am not able to answer any questions at this time, aside from that Dumbledore

will do everything in his power to protect you, and No, we are not all going to die. I

survived Voldemort's last reign, I am living proof that we did not all die. And neither will

you. Now We have to get back to our studies. As you know, last year, Mad Eye Moody

taught you how to fight the Unforgivables. In this new term, we will be learning how to do

them. I have been instructed by Dumbledore to teach you, just as I was taught all those

years ago. Now please pull out your text books, and look over the incantations, and we

will do some hands on practice in a minute. Harry you told me something was wrong

with your text book. Will you please come up here?"

Harry picked up his text book, not exactly remembering that he had said anything was

wrong but oh well.

"Hello Harry. Are you alright?" Said Professor Milano, under the context of examining his

text book.


"I have a question to ask you. Does Sirius normally become stressed and,

distracted and oh, I don't know under pressure?"

"Uh I am guessing so. But Why ?"

"Well, he is acting weird. And Oh, Harry I feel so awful "


"Because I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't know Oh my Harry, I'm telling you this, for some reason 13 years ago, he

was different. He was fun loving, was happy, and now he's cynical, worried "

"He did go to Azkaban, you know."

Harry had a bit of an icy tone to his voice.

"Oh Harry, please don't get mad at me."

"I'm not I just think that Well, Sirius has had a lot of pain in his life, and I doubt he

would like that."

'I just Harry I just , am finding it hard to just pick up, and continue on where we

left off."

The fire in Harry's eyes died.

"I understand. Are you going to tell Sirius ?"

"I don't know, Harry. I just don't know."

I was content

A princess asleep and enchanted

If I had dreams

Then I let you dream them for me

"Uh Sirius Can I talk to you for a second ?"

"Sure "

"Well, Sirius 13 years ago, I was in love with you. 13 years ago. And I was always

thinking about you. And, I guess, I thought I was still in love with you. But I'm not

anymore. And Oh, I don't know. Sirius do you understand ? I have been hurt too

much by you."

"Excuse me ? I HURT you ? I was thrown into Azkaban, when I was innocent, and you are

accusing me of HURTING you ???"

"Sirius, I was alone in Boston for 13 years. 13 years. Because I was too afraid of being

hurt again, I wouldn't let myself. And, yes, you did hurt me."

Back in the days

When everything seemed

So much clearer

Sirius stood up above her.

"No, you listen to me now. I thought of you every day for years, and you accuse me of

hurting you ? You marry me, and then tell me that

"Oh, sorry, I'm not in love with you? Hope you don't mind !' no, Dani. Things don't work like

that. If you didn't love me, why didn't you tell me ? I mean Just Grow UP ! So

are you just going to spring this on me now? When you are PREGNANT ? I mean "

He turned around and grabbed his hair in frustration.

Women in white

Who knew what their lives had in store

Where are they now

Those women who stare from the mirror

We can never go back to before

"Don't you get it Sirius ? I love you ! But not like that. Not anymore. Not anymore. I

guess I thought I did. I wanted to so much. And oh Don't you understand ? Am I

just supposed to pick it up ? Just, fall in love with you again ? Life isn't that easy. Life is

struggle. Accept it. Heaven is paradise. James is there. In heaven. He isn't struggling

anymore. You will get there one day. But now, you are on earth. And you have to learn to

deal with it. "

There are people out there

Unafraid of tomorrow

Unafraid to be weak

Unafraid to be strong

"I used to be scared, scared of you. Can you believe it ? Scared of the person I was in love

with ? And oh Everytime you went out with someone else, I would sit here, and look

at you, hope for the day you would finally glance in my direction, finally notice what was

in front of you. But you didn't. I waited for 3 years. 3 years for you. And then, finally, you

did. Doubtless, you were just trying to I don't know. And, I would like to think that you

fell in love with me along the way. You were the one for me. You were my soul mate. And

you always will be."

There was a time

When you were the person in motion

I was your wife

It never occurred to want more

"If I'm your soul mate, then why the bloody hell don't you love me?"

"Because !" She yelled right back.


"I don't know ! Do you understand ? I DON"T KNOW ! But, you know what? That's the way

it is. Accept it. Sirius, you were always my comfort. And, aside from Remus, you are all I

have left in the world. I am not going to let something like that go completely. You are

still one of my best friends. You and Remus. And DO you want a marriage without a

person you can't live without?"

You were my sky

My moon and my stars

And my ocean

"I can't live without you " He said, through his fingers.

"Yes you can."

"Oh, come on Dan. You know I can't."

"And you know That I just can't go back It isn't that easy And your name will

be cleared And you can get on with your life Sirius You're the best friend I have

left in the world "

But Sirius wasn't listening.

"No, Dani. I won't accept it. You and James were the most important things in my life.

And James is gone. That leaves you. And you are just about to to walk out, and leave

me alone. Fine. If that's what you want to do, do it. I can't stop you. But understand

this. I love you. I always have, I always will. But, if you leave that door, don't bother

coming back."

We can never go back to before

We can never go back

To before

( DUH DUH DUH : WHAT WILL DANI CHOOSE ? Sirius or happiness ? Tune in next

time ! PLEASE REVIEW ! )