Author's Notes: …I was bored.

And since I just went through and deleted a bunch of stories, I need to catch up with Opalish again.

Beta'd by Angel's Touch.

From Evans to Potter

"Evans! Hey—Evans!"

"Potter, shut up! They'll hear us!"

"I whispered!"

"You stage whispered. There's a difference."

"Yes, but it's still a whisper."

"Exactly. A stage whisper, which is meant to be heard!"

"Oh, whatever. Let's not argue."

"Don't sound so serious, dear."

"Ha, ha. I've missed you."

"I see you every period."

"I know, but I can't talk to you every period because you act like you hate me."

"Well, I do hate you. Every period."

"And this whole concept of pretending to hate one another while secretly meeting to snog the living daylights out of one another at every possibly opportunity…?"

"It amuses me. Besides, it's fun!"

"Why, Lily dear, I do believe we are involved in a scandal!"

"How very scandalous of us, James, love."

"I can't wait for it all to be revealed. How should we act? Horrified? Defiant? Say—could we make out in the Great Hall to prove our love?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Aw, c'mon, Lil! You're involved in the greatest scandal of our time! Let's make it as fun as we can!"

"I hardly think that this is the greatest scandal of our time, James!"

"Nonsense! Of course it is. Head Girl, Head Boy; Marauder and Perfect Prefect; Enemies since the beginning of time; you're dating Frank Longbottom and I Alice O'Connor. What else could people find more interesting?"

"Well, Voldemort, for one."

"Oh, tosh. Besides him."

"James! The situation with Lord Voldemort is very serious!"

"Yes, I know that, and I imagine one day I'll have to fight him; or fight his cause, at any rate, and then I will probably scold anyone who speaks so lightly of it as I just did. But that's all in the future! This is now, and I'm not going to let some sixty-year-old psycho ruin my last year at good old Hoggy Woggy."

"You know, that was almost mature."

"Yeah, well, don't spread it around. Bad for my reputation."

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"Of course I do. You tell me just about every time we meet. Say, could you possibly give me a hand with the Potions essay? It's all beyond me. I'm terrible at Potions."

"I know."

"Hey!"

"Well, it's true. And if you'll meet me after dinner in the third floor Charm's classroom, I'd be glad to help you."

"Why can't you just help me in the Common Room?"

"Because we hate one another, remember?"

"…Oh, right."

"But until then—"

"Shhhh!"

"What?"

"I think I heard…yes! It's Alice!"

"I HATE YOU, JAMES POTTER!"

"YEAH? WELL, GOOD! YOU THINK YOU'RE SO GREAT—"

"I THINK I'M GREAT? LOOK AT YOU, YOU POMPOUS—"

"ALWAYS TELLING ME HOW TO TREAT SNAPE, LOOK AT HOW YOU TREAT ME!"

"WELL, AT LEAST SNAPE IS A HALFWAY DECENT HUMAN BEING!"

"NOT TO ME, HE'S NOT!"

"BECAUSE YOU PROVOKE HIM AT EVERY—whew, that was close."

"We really need to be more careful, love. Should we try going higher next time?"

"What, with our voices? Or in the castle?"

"The castle. I thought your screaming was perfectly pitched."

"Why, thank you. You didn't do so badly yourself."

"Oh, you tease!"

"Seriously, though, James. We need to be more careful. What if we were to get caught?"

"Well, I personally vote for the making out in the Great Hall bit, but if you'd rather—"

"James!"

"Sorry, sorry. I don't know what we would do."

"O'Connor and Frank could be seriously hurt."

"Why do you insist on calling her O'Connor? She's in your year!"

"We aren't on the best of terms."

"Since when?"

"Well, since you started going out with her, of course."

"…What?"

"James, I am not a naturally jealous person by nature. But I don't share."

"…"

"Stop laughing!"

"…"

"James, I mean it!"

"…"

"James!"

"I'm—sorry—"

"You're still laughing. On the inside."

"Yes—well—Lily! You know that I would break up with Alice in a heartbeat if you wanted me to, but it's you who insists that we keep this private."

"Well, you don't have to go out with her!"

"…Does Frank Longbottom ring a bell?"

"Yes, but we don't always hold hands and kiss in the hallway! At least I have the decency to do it where you can't see!"

"Lily, I'm James Potter. I know that sounds pompous, but it's true, and if people didn't see me acting boyfriend-y towards Alice, they would know something was wrong."

"I still don't have to like her."

"I know that."

"Do you know, she had the gall to ask me if I had any feelings for you? She said, 'You know, Lily, if you have feelings for James, it's perfectly all right. I understand, and I don't want it to make you hate me.'"

"…Did she, now?"

"Yes! And what's more, she asked that I not try to steal you! She said, 'And we both know who James likes more, so please, just…try not to steal him away yet.'"

"…What a ridiculous thing to say."

"I know!"

"Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Lily. You did 'steal me away', as you so eloquently put it."

"I—but—"

"You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"But you love me in spite of it."

"I love you because of it."

"Aw, James, that's so—WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH AN ARROGANT SNICKELFRITZ!"

"WHY DO YOU—"

"Why are you laughing? They can hear you! Yell!"

"I—I'm trying to—it's just—snickelfritz?"

"It was a spur-of-the-moment thing."

"Yes, I…I hate you!"

"Louder!"

"Lily, I can't. I just…I keep hearing…"

"Stop laughing!"

"You snickelfritz!"

"James!"

"I'm sorry! Really! I am! But…Lily!"

"I…oh, all right, so it was silly. But there's nothing I can do about it now, and they're bound to hear you!"

"They're gone, love."

"I—oh."

"I love you, you know that?"

"I…well, yes. I do know that."

"And I want you to marry me."

"You—what?"

"I want you to marry me!"

"James! We're seventeen!"

"Yes! Exactly! We're seventeen, and the world is screwed up and getting worse and once we step out of these halls we could both die. And I want to know that I made the best of life before I had to do that. So will you? Marry me?"

"…You're serious."

"Deadly. Look, I have the ring right here."

"Oh, James…"

"Please marry me, Lily? I know we're young, but I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything and I'm pretty sure that you love me like that, too."

"Well—of course I do, but—"

"Please, Lily?"

"I…"

"Do you really not want to?"

"I—no! James—yes! I'll marry you!"

"Good."

"I love you."

"I hope so. Put it on the right hand, Lil. Otherwise Frank might…"

"Oh! Right! But can't I wear it like this, just for now? It makes me feel…engaged."

"Well, that's because you are."

"I know! I'm engaged!"

"I am, too."

"Oh, hush."

"…"

"You're laughing again!"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I just proposed in a broom closet while dating another girl."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"…"

"I knew you'd see the humor."

"Hey—should I walk out with this on my left hand? And you can come in behind me, and I'll announce that I'm engaged and we'll make a big scene!"

"Then can we make out in the Great Hall to prove our love?"

"Ugh, boys and snogging."

"But seriously. Can we?"

"Oh, fine. Should we really do it?"

"Why not?"

"All right, then, let's go. Oh, this is so scandalous!"

"Well, we'll certainly leave our mark."

"Hey…James?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Let's leave out this part of our romance when we tell it to our kids, all right?"

"They'll never have to know."